Author's Note: I had called this fic done months ago, but I've still been receiving messages and reviews asking for another chapter. So here you go, ladies and gentleman! Another installment of the bad assery of Neville Longbottom!


1. Neville uses Nagini's blood as soy sauce.

2. In kindergarten Neville killed a Death Eater for Show and Tell.

3. Originally, there was a spell called "Neville Longbottom", but when cast in a duel both wizards would explode leaving nothing more than a smear of blood and a fraction of wand. They quickly changed this spell to the much weaker, "Avada Kedavra."

4. Neville Longbottom doesn't bow to hippogriffs. Hippogriffs bow to Neville Longbottom.

5. Even phoenix tears won't cure wounds inflicted by Neville Longbottom.

6. Neville needs a remembrall not because he has a poor memory, but merely because he accomplishes too much to remember.

7. Neville's patronus is Neville, because nothing else is bad ass enough to represent him.

8. Neville Longbottom sectumsempra'd his way out of his mother's womb. Ever since, muggles have called this operation a "c-section".

9. It was once suggested that "Diagon Alley" be changed to "Longbottom Alley." The idea was almost immediately cast aside, because nobody crosses Neville Longbottom and lives.

10. When Draco Malfoy found out he was worth a whole 12th of Neville Longbottom, he cried for joy.

11. Not to be outdown, after Mrs. Weasley took out Bellatrix, Neville brought her back to life and killed her again.

12. Neville Longbottom once found a crumple horned snorkack.

13. Neville Longbottom taught mandrakes how to scream. He finds the sounds soothe him to sleep.

14. Neville Longbottom's tears cure basilisk venom. Too bad he has never cried.

15. The seventh book initially followed Neville's last year at Hogwarts, but J.K. Rowling changed it to Harry's endless camping adventures to bring the rating down to PG-13.