So, I probably should be working on my ongoing story but… well. An idea is an idea, and I learned early on to NOT go against my muse. She is a bloody, evil thing, let me tell you. Anyways… here's a new oneshot from me, and I hope you'll enjoy it – as always I have to thank my dear beta AVECIA: you're AWESOME.
Disclaimer: I don't own a thing 'bout TVD – I just mess with them, because it is too much fun NOT to!
Spoiler: for the end of season two so… if you don't want to know what happened, DON'T read!
Now, on with it!
She had had so many dreams, back when she still was a little girl. And later on as she turned into a teenager – a young woman – they had changed, but still they shone brightly. Grow up to be a princess had turned to grow up to have a nice, good-looking husband who treated her like one. Rule over her own kingdom (with pink castles, rainbows and unicorns everywhere) changed into the dream of a big house with a white-picket fence; two children playing in the backyard while her husband hovered over the grill. She would sit on a chair on the patio, laptop open on the little table in front of her, while she would write her newest novel that – of course – would turn out another best-seller; just like the other three that had come before that one.
But over the past few months, she had not watched as her dreams changed once again; no, this time she had to watch as they tumbled to the ground, broken into too many pieces to ever be put back together again. Not much was left of them by the time she stood in a circle of fire somewhere in the woods; awaiting her death. She knew that she would wake up again a vampire – Damon had made sure of that. And as much as she didn't want that fate…. She knew that in the end she would go through with the transition. She was only 17; she didn't want to die just yet. And there was Jeremy to think about, too. He had lost too much already… she knew she would break and never recover if she lost her baby brother; and in turn she knew that he would do the very same thing if he lost his big sister.
But, damn it, she wanted at least some of her dreams to come true. Go to Harvard or Yale or one of the other Ivy League Colleges; she could do that, at least… undead or not. And she could be with Stefan forever. Literally forever; not just her own, short, human version of it. She could turn that into a dream too. The white-picket fence would have to turn into one made of iron (because really, what kind of vampire was stupid enough to have something pointy and wooden surrounding his house?); there was no way they would have own children, but they could always invite the neighbours, and they – in turn – could bring their kids. And there would be so, so much time for her to write. She would just change her pseudonym every once in a while and be done with it.
Yeah, she would just work on the dreams she had left, and everything would be fine; but then again, even that was a dream in and of itself. Because, whom was she kidding here? As if Klaus would allow her to live on. That…monster had some serious issues with the Petrova women. She really had no idea why, but he held a grudge against her bloodline that was beyond healthy. And even if she got away with her life (unlife… whatever) she probably would have to spend it on the run; just like Rose and Katherine.
Katherine. Katerina. She wondered sometimes if the woman had had dreams too; back when she was still human. Or after that, before she lost her humanity. There had been times when she thought she had seen shreds of said humanity peek out. But those moments were few and far between and had passed so quickly, that she always shrugged them off as her own imagination.
It was really creepy most of the time… to see her own face wearing such a hard edge. So much hate and emptiness. Cruelty and the childish glee shining out of them when one of her schemes came to fruition. But in the end, all her schemes and games had done her no good. She still had ended up in Klaus' evil, evil grasp.
She should really think of a way out of this dilemma; instead she wasn't able to stop her brain from spinning around and around. People said that, right before the moment of your death, you see your entire life flash in front of you. Well, that wasn't happening. But whatever, right? Her life hadn't been normal for quite some time – why start now? So she just shrugged and let herself be carried away further.
Now she thought of Jeremy… before their parents had died, he had spent most of his time behind a sketchpad. She still could remember that his fingers were always gray and a little black from the charcoal pencils. Everywhere he went, he always had a pencil case and a notebook with him so he could draw when he felt like it (which was nearly always). He had never said what he wanted to do with his art, exactly. There were so many things he could do with it though, that it hardly mattered… all that was important, was the fact that he could be creative. And then there was the accident; suddenly her bubbly, artsy brother was 'the emo kid'. Black fingernails, pale face and dark circles under his eyes. He never drew anything anymore, not even the little comics on the inside of his schoolbook covers she always found so amusing. Nothing. His dreams had been buried under an entirely too big load of grief.
And every time he started to get better, something came and threw him back again. He loved Vicki – and then she died (got killed), turned into a vampire and got staked.
Then there was Anna… and just as he was happy enough again to draw; just as he got comfortable with this new love, everything turned to ashes again – quite literally, because that was all that had been left of the girl.
Just as she thought he would never recover, along came her best friend and managed to put his broken heart back together again. And recently, he had been really happy again. She found drawing upon drawing of Bonnie. Smiling, frowning, laughing. He had drawn her as she sat in a circle of candles, working some spell or the other; or as she stood on a clearing, the wind blowing her hair out of her face, her power tangible even though it was just a drawing.
She hoped to god that Bonnie would survive; Jeremy would maybe be able to get over losing his sister, if he just had her best friend to hold onto. He had to.
Also… it would be good for Bonnie, too. She needed someone to keep her anchored to the real world; needed someone to remind her that she wasn't the only witch out there… that it wasn't her job to save the world from all things evil and dark.
Bonnie never had spoken about dreams – or wishes for her future – much. Just the normal girl-talk. Nice boyfriend, good school and even better friends.
Well, she had a really good boyfriend now, and she still would have Caroline. Life could work out for Bonnie.
She frowned as her thoughts did a tailspin from her witchy best friend to the vampire one.
Caroline was having quite the hard time, too. Torn between Tyler The Werewolf and Matt The Nice Boy. It was clear as day that she was still in love with Matt, but on the other hand, even a blind man could see that there was something between Tyler and her. She cared a great deal about him, tried her hardest to help him and stand up for him in front of the others. And then there was her mother, too. Elena knew that it hurt Caroline that she couldn't tell Liz about everything. All her life, she always wanted the love and respect of her mother.
But the two of them were just so different, that they hardly found something in common.
Caroline was strong though. She had always been so, but her neurotic tendencies and her reputation as a control-freak had overshadowed it most of the time. Now though, it was very obvious. So Caroline would be alright, no matter what. Her life might have turned on its head, but she would adapt for sure.
Suddenly there was Stefan. She wasn't sure what he wanted at first… but even if Jenna hadn't told her what he and Klaus had been talking about, she would have known. This was Stefan, after all; always playing the hero, always trying to make wrongs right he had had no hand in. It was noble, what he'd wanted to do, but in the end it was fairly useless. Klaus made short process of his uninvited guest and turned back to them.
She saw now that the flames surrounding Jenna dimmed and puffed out entirely; saw the defiant gaze her aunt threw her way and knew instantly that there was no use in thinking about the dreams she might have. Sweet, crazy Aunt Jenna wouldn't survive the night. She wouldn't run away like Elena had told her; no, she would try and be a parent… would try to protect Elena.
Elena was neither surprised when Jenna fastened her fangs into the throat of that bitch, nor when she got thrown to the ground by none other than Klaus himself. As she told her to shut her feelings off, she knew that it wasn't about to happen. Jenna was never one to back down; so she looked into the eyes of her niece, stubbornly refusing to look scared. And as the stake went through skin, flesh and bone – into the no-longer-thumping muscle of her heart; as she turned grey and her eyes lost sight… Elena saw so many dreams and wishes for a good future die with her, it nearly tore her heart apart then and there.
From then on, everything went to hell in a hand basket.
Klaus grabbed her, and soon he was drinking fast and deep from her throat, she got dizzy and had problems drawing breath into her screaming lungs. Out of the corner of her eyes she could just see Bonnie, Elijah and Damon. But her brain worked only slow and sluggish and she had problems connecting the things she saw to an actual thought.
And then, everything went black.
But it wasn't black for long… or at least, she thought it wasn't long. She didn't know exactly though, because time seemed like a very foreign concept. She was someplace warm and safe; her body barely weighed anything at all and gone were all worries about her friends and family.
She knew that Jenna had died, but she was sure that she was in a better place right now; maybe she was with her parents, sitting on some cloud and catching up with her older sister.
And she needn't to worry about Jeremy, for either uncle-daddy John or Alaric would surely take care of him. And Bonnie would, too.
Caroline would surely find a way to make things right with Matt – or fall madly in love with Tyler and have wild, sweaty vampire-werewolf sex. Whatever. And her mum would see what a strong, young woman her daughter was now, and would burst with pride.
And Bonnie… Bonnie would be her sister-in-law someday (doesn't matter that she wouldn't be alive to actually see it happen), and the most powerful witch ever. She and Jeremy were going to have such pretty little babies….
Stefan… Stefan still had Katherine; she didn't care that he swore there were no gentle or romantic feelings left in him for the other woman. She was sure Katherine just needed a little bit alone-time with him, and she would dig out all the buried feelings that still were in him. Yeah, Stefan would be fine, however long it would take; it wasn't like he was short on time, anyway.
But… there was something not quite alright; something or someone she missed in her mental checklist. And then she could hear a voice; it was far away and she nearly couldn't make it out, but it was still there. First it seemed to beg, then it got angry, and finally returned to begging again. There was so, so much grief and pain in that voice, it nearly hurt her physically. With time, the voice got louder and clearer, and finally she could make out a few words.
The person seemed to be talking to her, telling her to wake up, to be alright and human. It sounded so desperate, she wanted to reach out, and cradle this person in her arms like she would a child crying for comfort and love.
It took quite some time until she could pin a name to the voice. But then…
It was Damon, she was sure of it. But she never had heard him so… so… lonely. Lonely and empty and not at all like his cocky self. But wait… never?...
"I love you Elena, and it's because I love you, that I can't be selfish with you…."
His eyes were sad, but still determined; his voice seemed somehow strong, even though it turned rough and wavered slightly.
"Why you can't know this…. I don't deserve you. But my brother does."
How sure he sounded of the rightfulness of his words; how sure that his little brother was worth more than he himself.
"God, I wish you didn't have to forget this…. But you do."
And that one tear, sliding down his cheek; breaking her heart as it went…
But why? Why did she have to forget? That had probably the most selfless thing he had ever done for her; no matter what he thought on that matter. He wanted to get the weight off his heart and soul, but at the same time didn't want to put it on her. So he found middle ground; telling her what he felt, and making her forget it again.
Now though, she remembered. And with the memory, came feelings.
Soon after, she opened her eyes again, and life went on. She buried her aunt and uncle (father) and what seemed like only minutes later, held a dying Damon in her arms as they both spoke the most honest words to each other they ever had.
She couldn't quite bring herself to tell him that she loved him… it would be too soon, and for all the wrong reasons. Also… suddenly there was Katherine, coming with the cure and telling them that Stefan was – once again – off playing the hero.
As she looked at Damon – still pale and sweaty, still weak but, thank god, no longer dying – she knew that they would go and search for Stefan; that they would get him back or die trying.
And only then, when she'd had a chance to speak to Stefan once more… when she could tell him that she loved him, but was no longer in love with him… only then would she go to the Salvatore brother she belonged with, so they could live and dream together.
Well, I'm done and now it's your turn – click on the little button below and let me know what you think.
Reviews are love, people!