Why hadn't I protected you? Why hadn't it been me instead? Of all, why did it have to be you? I would've took the hit. Even if it meant I would wind up in the accident that you are currently in. But I would've done it. For you.
If only I was there.
"We're gonna have to find a donor," Tsuna remembered the doctor told him not more than six days ago.
Six days had passed now. And still no donor.
"He needs a new heart…" Tsuna whispered, looking down at Hibari's lifeless body on the hospital bed. His eyes began to well up in tears for what seemed the 100th time just this day. All he could feel was the pain stinging inside his heart that his one and only love would no longer be breathing if they did not find a heart any sooner. And then he remembered that Gokudera was right by his side, trying to console him. He turned to face him.
"G-gokudera-kun…wh-what am I supposed to d-do? If he doesn't get one in the next couple weeks…he's going to die!" Tsuna sobbed, looking at the Storm Guardian directly into his eyes, "K-kyoya…if he's dies..he might as well be taking my soul, too. He's my life…and I love him," Tsuna choked back the rest of his words and his sobs grew louder, ignoring the fact that they were in a hospital where people could possibly hear them.
Gokudera gave Tsuna a comforting hug and rubbed his back, "Don't worry Juudaime. The doctors will find a heart for Hibari. Or I'll make them find one to stop you from crying! They'll find a heart and then Hibari will come back to you…" Gokudera reassured his boss.
Tsuna sniffled and wiped the endless tears strolling down his face, "T-thank you Gokudera. Y-you were always here with me in the hospital…and-and making me feel better…and even though me and Kyoya did –"
"Don't worry about it Juudaime. All forgiven is forgotten, okay?" Gokudera said, despite the ache in his heart after saying it.
"Thanks Gokudera. I really appreciate it and your support."
"It's not problem. Anything for you, boss!" Gokudera convincingly smiled at him. He looked at the clock on the wall , "Ah, I gotta go. Unless you still need me or…?"
"Oh, no. I-I think I'm good now. Thanks. You should leave if you need to Gokudera."
They shared a hug before Gokudera departed the hospital, leaving Hibari and Tsuna alone. As soon as the bomber stepped foot outside into the fresh air, he couldn't help it. Tears began to fall down from his eyes and his shoulders were shaking. He clenched his fists to hold in the urge to scream out in the top of his lungs. The pain he felt, too. The pain that was as equal to the pain Tsuna was feeling. It was too much for him to bear, but he tried his best to deal with it. He tried his best not to show it to Tsuna. Especially when he saw him with Hibari.
Y-you were always here with me in the hospital…and-and making me feel better…and even though me and Kyoya did –"
"Don't worry about it Juudaime. All forgiven is forgotten, okay?"
Gokudera quickly got a hold of himself before he was seen crying. It was so unlike him. More so when he was in public. He wiped his tears off and began walking down the street to his apartment. Everything might've been forgiven, but it wouldn't ever be forgotten.
How could he forget the day? How could he forget the scenario he had seen the day he walked in the Reception Room for an hour's worth of detention? No matter how much it disgusted him, it would always replay in his mind. Over and over again.
Gokudera grumbled as he headed up the Reception Room for another detention for talking back to the teacher.
"An hour with this guy?" He scoffed, "maybe I could get a fight out of him…" He smirked and found himself standing in front of the room a few seconds later. Just as he was about to open the door, he hesitated. All these noises he kept hearing. He scrunched his eye brows.
"What the hell?" He flung open the door. And then his jaw dropped.
All the moans, grunts, and thumps were coming from none other than his one boss. And Hibari.
The gasp that managed to escape his lips was loud enough for both males to hear, unfortunately. They both turned to Gokudera.
"I-I'm sorry…" Gokudera bowed and then quickly shut the door, running out of the campus, ignoring Tsuna's calls for him. He didn't want to see him. Not after the scene he didn't…
Even now, he could feel the break in his heart. Gokudera picked up his pace as he ran home, the tears were pouring out harder.
He was hurting, and had been hurt this whole six months the two were together. And he wanted revenge. But the words of his mother who had passed away when he was younger kept echoing in his head every time he got a single thought in his mind to revenge.
His mom had said, "You might be hurting yourself doing so, sacrificing your own happiness…but if they're important to you, you would do anything to make him/her smile."
Gokudera had now reached the apartment building. He controlled himself before entering to his home, shaking off all the thoughts that have been slowly killing his heart.
He sighed, "I would do anything to make him smile again…."
The next day, Gokudera decided to visit the hospital again, even though his boss wasn't. He entered the room Hibari was staying in and opened the door slowly. The doctor and nurse were inside, murmuring some words he couldn't make out from the door.
"Oh, sorry, I'll just leave," he said, about to close the door.
"Wait!" The doctor called to him.
Gokudera looked up at him. He had an agitated face on his face. Gokudera eyebrows knitted together, "What's up?"
"You're a friend of Hibari, right? I see you visit him often," the doctor spoke.
"We're, uh, somewhat friends..yeah. Why?" He folded his arms across his chest.
"Well, you see, we did some more examinations on Hibari. And it turns out…he won't live much longer. It seems as though we only have less than five days to find a heart for him."
His eyes immediately widened. "What?" Gokudera's voice was so quiet, it was almost a whisper.
"Can't you guys find a donor?" Gokudera shouted, looking from the doctor, to the nurse, then back to the doctor, "I mean, c'mon, there must be some hearts out-!"
"None of the hearts are an exact match to his. We have searched long and hard," he gave out an exhausted sigh, "but we won't stop looking for one, seeing as how much he means to him and Sawada."
Gokudera paused. His eyes shut and he looked away from the doctor.
"…if he's dies..he might as well be taking my soul, too. He's my life…and I love him," Gokudera recalled the words Tsuna had told him earlier.
His hand slowly reached up to his chest, where his heart would be located. His eyes reopened and he looked at the doctor.
"I think…I have an idea…" he gulped.
"Sawada-san?" The doctor walked into the room, clutching onto his clipboard.
"Eh?" Tsuna looked at him, noticing the excitement in his face. It gave Tsuna some hope.
"I-is there any good news?" Tsuna asked him, holding onto Hibari's hand.
"It looks like… we found the exact donor for Hibari," he smiled at the boy.
Tsuna gasped in joy and looked at Hibari, "You hear that, Kyoya? I told you! You're gonna live," he kissed his hand and chuckled.
"He'll be having the surgery tomorrow, though," the doctor told him.
"Oh. Why not today?" Tsuna was persistent to hear his beloved's voice again. He could hardly wait.
"We're performing another surgery today, with –" The doctor stopped himself from going any further.
"With who?" Tsuna asked, lifting an eyebrow.
The doctor shook his head, "Nobody. Nevermind…" And then he walked out of the room.
"Aisheteru…Kyoya," Tsuna said, smiling at him. The rest was left forgotten, including the boy who'd been there for him and Hibari.
"How do you feel, Kyoya?" Tsuna quickly asked Hibari, who had just woken up after the surgery was done.
"Hm. Better," Hibari responded calmly. Tsuna laughed at how casual he still stayed after waking up from a coma.
"Hibari-san you'll have to stay here a little longer. We need to run some tests and check ups before you can leave. I assure you that you'll be feeling much better. But for now, you can rest, " the doctor smiled and bid his goodbye, leaving them. Tsuna quickly wrapped his arms around Hibari and kissed him.
"I missed you so much, Kyoya," Tsuna whispered in his ear.
"I missed you too," Hibari told him.
They both pulled away at the same time.
"I texted Gokudera-kun to come soon, too. Along with Yamamoto and Dino," Tsuna told him, looking at his phone to see if they had texted back.
"…why would you do that?" Hibari quietly asked.
Tsuna chuckled, "Because, they came and visited you a lot when you were in a coma, Kyoya. Especially Gokudera-kun… he comforted me a lot…"
"Hm. I'll bite him to death later."
"No, Kyoya! Don't. He was really supportive, and caring…It was unlike him, a-and… I really needed him at the time. You don't need to bite him to death…"
Hibari looked at Tsuna for a while and then nodded, "Fine. If you don't want me to, then…I won't."
And then the nurse walked in the room after she heard their conversation. She walked in, with a note in her hand.
"Here, this was left for you from the donor," she said, handing Kyoya the note.
"I don't want it," Hibari simply told her.
"But, it's from–"
"I don't care who it's from."
Tsuna nervously chuckled, "Thank you, I'll just take it," he said and then took the note.
He lightly nudged Hibari, "Kyoya~! Don't be so rude. She brought you back to life, you know."
And then he read the note, his eyes going all over the sentences written on it.
Well, uh…take good care of my heart since I decided to leave it with you, bastard. It was only to get Boss smiling and laughing again…so yeah. Don't get the wrong idea, alright? Tell Boss I love him, whether you're with him or not…
The note fell to the floor.
A sudden realization hit Tsuna.
A painful ache took over his body.
And tears trickled down his cheeks.
Gokudera was no longer alive.
I know, it's OOC for Gokudera to be the way he is in this fanfic. But review, right? I'll take any criticism! (:
I also just want to clarify, Hibari got in a car crash. OK?