A.N. Small warning for references of sex and for language. If you don't like yaoi or this pairing, please don't flame me. Enjoy.
Shikamaru isn't a man of many outward emotions, I've come to realize. I could poke and I prod him violently all day, but his mouth would stubbornly remain set in that perpetual straight fucking line. I wonder if he does that just to piss me off, deny me the pleasure in playing with him. In a way, he could be playing back with me, seeing how long it would take before I got pissed off and frustrated. I didn't know for sure. I have discovered, however, hints and variations between those few expressions.
They're micro-expressions, or so I've heard them called.
Mere milliseconds before a hostile frown, his face would contort into the merest of grimaces. Almost like he had the tiniest bit of doubt in his ability to intimidate. During shogi, his face, his eyes, turned cold and precise. Calculating. I've learned to look past the gears turning in his head to see that he truly enjoyed the boring game. After scoring a decisive move, his posture would slump just slightly as a ghostly curve of his lips would appear, and then quickly vanish. When I spied him around his teammates, his countenance stayed neutral, or even appeared annoyed. But the softening of his eyes when he looked at them, betrayed his true feelings to me. Betrayed that he cared much more for them than he was letting on.
I was the exception to this.
The times when we would be alone together, Shikamaru would still be an enigma to me. His expressions were chiseled in stone, not changing in the slightest. The most emotion I've seen him give me was the day I killed his sensei. Still, he keeps me near him. Despite the pain I put him through, he takes it without so much as flinching. His body still puts up a fight, but never an honest one, letting me do as I please. I could easily kill him with his mindset like this, but I don't.
Our relationship is a complicated one, one that I don't even try to understand. I just let it be. Shikamaru seems to have resigned to do the same. Our silent agreement is no attachments, no killing. He allows me to fuck up his body in Jashin's name, in return, I let his friends and fellow villagers live. We don't love each other, we don't even care what happens to the other.
Lately that agreement has been turned on its head.
I've been finding myself desiring to decode Shikamaru by his facial expressions and body language alone, spying and studying him. I shouldn't be in the village, but in his clan's forest. Shikamaru is supposed to come to me, as part of our "agreement." But I'm a social creature, and I'm fucking tired of talking to the damn deer. I've been strangely finding myself wanting to talk to him, for him to show me emotion.
Most of all, I wanted to see his smile.
Fucking absurd right? But it was like a itch that needed a good scratch, and today, I was going to scratch it.
Shikamaru's dad was gone on a mission, and his mother was out in the garden. Piece of damn cake. I slinked past her and into the household with ease. I didn't know the layout, but I had a general idea of where his room was because of my spying. My feet intuitively lead me up the stairs, into a long, minimal hallway. There were only two doors up here. I was lead in small steps by an invisible pull, ever closer to the door on the left. Silently I slid the traditional door open, bringing Shikamaru's back into view
He lay on his futon, facing his only window as little birds chirped and danced in the nearby tree. It was mating season, so the birds were singing little songs and dancing around each other. It made me sick, but I kept studying them until they flew way. My eyes then drifted back to the motionless form on roll out bed.
I had to move carefully, or the creaking floorboards would alert him to my presence. My footsteps inched forward slowly, pulling me closer and closer each time. Shikamaru remained still, much to my relief. The journey to his bed seemed to take a short lifetime, though.
I pounced on him.
A surprisingly cute yelp issued from his lips, and he faced me with fear and surprise. Success! Some goddamn expression! Anger took over his face before it melted back into that stupid mask I hated so much.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he hissed, voice revealing his true feelings, "You're supposed to stay outside the village."
A wolfish grin pulled at my lips as I took in his mildly perturbed aura. I bathed in it, soaked it up, marveling at the feeling of him showing me just a hint of his emotions. But I needed more. I wanted more feeling from him, I wanted him squirming .
"There's something I want from you," I finally replied, trying to be as cryptic as possible.
Discontent worked its way out from his throat, the sound making my smirk widen. He looked uncomfortable now. Another small win for me.
"We're not going to have your twisted sex in my room where mom's surely going to hear," he grumped, face finally cracking into a warning glare.
I simply chuckled in glee at his misplaced assumption, but said no more. My patience to get what I desired was wearing thin. Time to spring my plan of action.
Leaning forward, using my best predatory qualities, I brought my lips to the delicate shell of his ear. His body tensed under mine, fueling my desire. I gently exhaled against the sensitive flesh, drawing out his anticipation. The response I received, a barely repressed shiver, pleased me to no end. Now for the finale.
"I want to see your smile," I breathed.
A strange noise escaped his mouth, a sound of confusion. I gave him no time to contemplate with that sharp mind of his, and attacked.
The next sound that escaped him was a hitched gasp, followed by a peculiar cacophony of laughter. His wirey frame twitched and bucked under my hands, but I didn't relent my assault. I let my eyes wander to his face, seeing more expression than ever. Shikamaru's eyes were screwed shut as tears squeezed out, and his face was split nearly in half by his laughing mouth.
"Oh g-god! Haahhhahaha! S-Stop…it! Hehehaahhahaha! Oh f-fucking hellHAAHAAHAHAHA! B-Bastard! Haaah! HAAAH! HAAAH! H-Hidan!"
Seeing Shikamaru laugh, his lips severely turned up, was strange for me. Not just because if was rare for him, but also because it was eliciting a sudden, weird sensation in my chest. The feeling wasn't one I had been suspecting, and it caught me off guard.
After a few minutes of satisfying my urge to see his smile, his laughter, my fingers ceased their onslaught on his body. At first, Shikamaru simply lay there gulping air to catch this breath, while I stared down from my position over him. Moments dragged on to minutes, then his glare returned, but something else swam around in his brown depths. I continued to study his face, trying to place the emotion I was seeing. Uncertainty? Apprehension? Confusion?
"W-Why…did y-you…W-What the h-hell w-were you…W-What's w-wrong with y-you?" he sputtered as he continued to recover.
"I already told you."
"W-Why would you…c-care?" his voice turning more venomous, his strength returning.
I didn't answer straight away, my usual talkativeness suddenly stilling. I was thinking over his question, the reason I had this strange urge in the first place. Finally I had an answer.
"I don't know."
Shikamaru snorted sardonically, "Idiot."
I didn't answer again, instead let my body do the talking for once, as I leaned down again, gently molding my lips against his. A startled sounded escaped from his mouth into mine, but faded out into a small moan. I drank up the noises he made, getting intoxicated by it, by him.
The motions weren't frantic and ravenous like every other time, but languid and sensual. Slowly stoking the fires within both of us, instead of pouring gasoline over our desire, so it could burn out brightly and quickly. My hands took their time exploring ever inch of flesh my lover had, and Shikamaru's moans and sighs told me how much he was enjoying the treatment.
We ended up making love in his room after all.
This type of sex was a foreign to me, and I wasn't sure what to think. It wasn't unpleasant, just strange, different. It wasn't that much of a pain in the ass, though, as I could tell Shikamaru was pleased. That knowledge satiated me as well.
Now as we lay together, tangled on Shikamaru's futon, his body seemed to fit more easily against mine. Shikamaru's cheek pressing close to my chest created the same sensation in my heart from before. The emotion I was feeling was fucking with me, because I had no clue what it was.
"I dislike you, Hidan…" Shikamaru said sleepily, before dozing off against me
I stared intently down at him, his face. A tiny, but serene smile curved at his lips, a smile that was better than a toothy one. It was innocent and sincere. My mind also replayed his groggy words.
Dislike was a step better than hate, a word Shikamaru had repeated to me since we started this relationship. Shit, maybe I was starting to dislike him too. I went to a lot of damn trouble for him today, but his laughter and smile were worthy rewards.