I couldn't not write this because 1) Spencer is so gay it hurts 2) no really she is a homo explosion 3) her and Emily have the gayest moments ever and 4) they are perfect.
I think I was inspired to write this by Crystal Castles.
And all of the gay.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Lovers Who Uncover
Emily sat back, teeth buried in her bottom lip and looking torn between a frown and a smile.
"This is weird, isn't it?" she whispered, and Spencer finally opened her big, pretty eyes with the realization that she hadn't yet let go of her breath.
Emily watched her with a look that said she was sorry, but her hand was still on Spencer's thigh and she was wishing she'd waited to change out of her jeans. Her small jersey shorts were of no protection and Emily's fingerprints were ironed deeper and hotter into her skin as she innocently leaned forward in search of reassurance.
Spencer's fingers twisted themselves into the hem of her own t-shirt because it was the nearest thing she could do to biting a bullet. Emily was marking her skin with burns that weren't meant to hurt.
"Weird? I - no, that's the incorrect word," the words rolled out of her mouth like a tangled ball of yarn that dried her tongue and she wished her teeth could be the jointed scissors to cut the string. Tired of the heavy oxygen in her chest, Spencer released the weight with a sigh as her tongue dried to cotton in her mouth.
Any sign of indecisiveness left Emily's face, which had decided on a frown, and she toyed with her fingers.
"I'm sorry, this is weird, I'm weirding you out," she said softly, shaking her head. "I was asking way too much of you, that's my fault," she reached for Spencer's hand with a small, aloof smile. "And stop shaking your head at me like I'm wrong. I just trust you, Spence, you know? You always know what to do and how to help me, but I think this is something I'm going to have to get through without your expertise. I understand that now and this was really, really stupid of me."
Her smile grew so small it was hardly an expression at all, but Spencer calculatedly watched her eyes and she was thankful for her own perception because Emily ducked her head for a moment before tucking her hair behind her ear and Spencer's eyelids were suddenly so heavy she could hardly hold them open.
For all of her SAT words, she had nothing to say and she was decidedly, unwillingly, swooning.
She prepared to clear her throat, then halted at the last moment so as to not become any more obvious than she already was. Instead, she dug out a smile and blinked a few times too many as she fought against choking on the snarled yarn at the back of her throat.
"Emily, it's fine, I can do it. I want to," her voice came out groggy and her smile lasted long enough to be convincing, although it was quickly wiped from her face when she realized how that sounded. Panic was able to filter out the husky quality of her voice from a moment ago and she straightened her posture. "I mean, I want to help you. And if you call yourself stupid again -"
"Ah," Emily pressed a finger to Spencer's lips, highly amused with the confused, wide-eyed look on Spencer's face. Luckily it calmed her rather than burned her. "I suspect a rant and a threat, so I bid thee goodnight," she retracted her hand and stepped back from Spencer's bed with a dramatic bow, one arm folded behind her back. "Goodbye fair maid-"
An eyebrow lifted on Spencer's pretty face as she grabbed Emily's wrist and yanked her without warning down onto the bed, face first. She quickly resurfaced and propped herself up on her elbow a moment later, both eyebrows raised and challenging.
"I take that back, a fair maiden wouldn't face-plant a noble."
Spencer didn't laugh.
She brushed back Emily's hair with both hands to draw her attention and it effectively crumbled her walls that were more like windows to Spencer, and Emily looked away, sensing her dramatic, albeit humorous, exit wasn't enough to fool her.
"Stop apologizing," Spencer murmured. "Listen, Em. This is an inquiry and not a complaint, but why me? Why not Hanna or Aria?"
Emily hid her face in Spencer's lush comforter.
"Kosh yer diffrnd."
A lopsided smile lifted the left corner of Spencer's mouth despite her inability to decipher what Emily had said.
"Yeah, I don't speak that language."
Emily raised her head, cheek squished against her fist in a way that made her smile look goofy and Spencer wanted to kiss her.
"Oh, come on. You're taking French and Spanish, and you have a personal German tutor. What language don't you speak?"
"Indistinct Blanket Mumbling is one I have yet to be introduced to."
Emily slowly batted her eyelashes once or twice and Spencer had to look away because even when she was trying to be funny, Spencer felt a heat climbing her body like a backwards avalanche of tumbling flames.
"Is that slang for trying to get me into bed?" Emily asked, coy.
"You are in my bed," Spencer replied, matter of fact and feigning indifference.
"Smooth talker," she said softly, and once again the humor was sucked from the room like it was the house's left lung, Emily's smile following soon after. She spread her hand back down over the comforter, index finger trailing one of the dotted seams that looked like a threaded colony of albino ants. Her dark hair was hanging over her face, slamming the book shut rather abruptly so Spencer could no longer read her. "I really should go, I told my mom I'd be back by eleven."
Spencer had seen Emily sneak a look at the clock before speaking aloud, which cluttered her overactive mind with accusations and ideas that she did not have room for inside of her skull. Part of her figured Emily had come up with that on the spot and used the time to make it convincing, and Spencer supposed she didn't blame her. There was a haze between them that only had the chances of clearing up if they were to separate.
"Sure, yeah. It's already 10:52...Eight minutes," she fumbled awkwardly with the yarn in her mouth again and she wished to set it on fire, hoping her tongue would go with it and she'd never have to speak again.
She was a logical thinker, an intelligent girl. She was the top of her class, if not all of Rosewood High, and she couldn't string together a sentence to save her dignity.
"Yes," Emily laughed, standing from Spencer's bed for a second time. "So, hey, we're okay? I didn't mean to freak you out, and I really am sorry. Thank you so much for listening to me, I needed it tonight."
"You didn't freak me out, for the millionth time," Spencer wrapped her hand around two of Emily's fingers and let their hands hang between them as her legs dangled from the edge of her bed. She bit the inside of her cheek in hopes of distracting her brain into focusing on pain signals that had nothing to do with the hand she was holding onto, but the pads of her fingertips burned like miniature irons had been plugged into Emily's veins and glued to Spencer's skin. "And you don't have to thank me, I'm your friend, Em. I'm supposed to be here for you when you need it."
"I just know that it was a…strange request, and if I made you uncomfortable -"
Spencer sighed, frustrated, and Emily sensed an error at the sound of it. Spencer saw her eyebrows worriedly knitting together before closing her own eyes and she swallowed past the scratchy string in her throat, pulling Emily down for a second time but with different, significantly more dangerous intentions of shutting her up. Hesitation would lead to thinking, so she kissed her the moment Emily was close enough, eyes squeezed shut and hoping with all of her lumpy, bruised heart that she wasn't making a mistake.
As if her body knew better than she did, her shoulders began relaxing when Emily twisted her fingers into the hair behind Spencer's ear, and twin stars burst behind the backs of her eyes. A sun was born of the explosion, warming her blood beneath her skin and heating her overworked heart.
She felt weightless, floating away from her bed as if kissing Emily had been the key to switching off gravity and a cosmic eruption was occurring between her ears; a volcano flooding the inside of her head with stars to join the first two behind her closed eyes. They burst into a fit of color one after another and all of the noise sounded like an earthquake splitting fault lines in her bones, but she was falling apart with the absence of pain and she would have gladly evaporated in that moment.
And suddenly the pressure from her lips was gone, gravity hurled her back down to her bed and she was shocked by the silence. It was so loud only seconds ago.
She wasn't sure who initially stopped, but Emily nearly fell into her lap the moment it did.
"Um," Spencer opened her eyes, clearing her throat, and it was like transparent watercolors had been splashed in her eyes as she watched the smoke rising from a withering volcano that was not there. "Does that convince you that I'm not uncomfortable?"
Emily nodded, all innocent eyes.
"Think it might have made something else pretty clear for me, too," she answered, still looking surprised, but pleasantly so.
Spencer brightened, her vision clearer.
"So you know? You're sure?" she asked excitedly. "You've figured out you're gay?"
Emily smiled, slipping her hand out of Spencer's and beginning to back away.
"Oh, I've known that."
"You've…known…? So what was the purpose of making me think…"
Suddenly it dawned on her and the flames backtracked in a steep, violent fall to land at Spencer's feet. She was left cold and she could feel the cracks in her bones now, the anesthetic gone. Her nerves were confused by the sudden climate change, tingling in her fingers and toes, hair raised at the back of her neck. Emily had slunk out of the room in time for Spencer to launch a pillow at the door, closing it the rest of the way.
The doorknob twisted and Emily's head peeked back into the room with one hand gripping the door, a mischievous smile curving her mouth.
"Y-you tricked me! You tricked me into kissing you because you wanted to see if I would do it! Did Hanna put you up to this? She always makes jokes about me being too uptight, but I thought that's all they were, jokes!"
Emily's smile fell from her face and she abandoned the doorway, hurrying to sit beside Spencer.
"No! No, no, no, no," she brushed Spencer's cheek with the back of her hand so she turned toward her. "Spence, I would never do that to you, and you're not too uptight," she watched Spencer anxiously search her eyes and didn't continue until they stopped flickering left and right. "I did trick you, though. I wanted to see if you'd kiss me," she murmured, disconnecting their eyes. "I wanted to see if you'd like it, 'cause I already knew I would."
The sudden rise then fall was plenty for Spencer to feel numb and she stared at Emily at a loss for words. She felt redesigned, like her blue prints had been erased and Emily was sketching in the new lines for her. It was a complete loss of control and territory yet unexplored, but she gave that up the moment she agreed to Emily coming over tonight.
"I know," Emily bit her lip. "Forgive me?"
Spencer entertained the idea of kissing her again if only because she couldn't handle her lip biting, but lost heart halfway and rested her forehead on Emily's shoulder upon seeing the time. She decided she didn't mind the sudden detour because a blush was burning up the back of her neck and spreading to her cheeks.
"10:58...two minutes…" she mumbled.
Emily scratched her nails along the nape of Spencer's neck, pausing to lazily wrap a few strands of hair around her fingers as she craned her neck to see what Spencer had been looking at, then smiled against her ear.
"It's okay if I ignore curfew just this once," she emphasized herself by pinching her index finger and thumb together, and Spencer laughed.
"Just this once. I don't want your parents to think I'm a bad influence on you."
"No way, my mom is practically in love with you, Ms. Perfect."
"That's a bit tragic," Spencer pouted, pointer finger touching her bottom lip as she began to rise once more and she felt brave enough to unveil herself again.
Emily quirked her head to the side with a confused smile, not quite understanding but delighted to see Spencer brush off the dirt of her insecurity. She casually rested her hand on Spencer's knee, climbing higher so slowly she was lead to believe it was unnoticeable.
"Well, I mean, it's horribly depressing that your mom will have to live with her unrequited love because I have a thing for her daughter..."
Emily's fingertips were just beginning to reach underneath the bottom of Spencer's shorts, and she would congratulate her on getting that far without being noticed, but her skin was burning again and Spencer wanted to laugh because it was as though kissing Emily had painted flame retardant over every inch of her body. She could feel the heat, but there wasn't any pain to follow.
"Spence?" Emily slipped her hand down to the underside of Spencer's knee. "Are you okay? Do you not want..." she trailed off, and Spencer shook her head.
"I want," she assured, leaning back into the pillows and Emily smiled, innocently unaware of the transformation her hands had made from weapons to guardians.