Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, yadda yadda yadda.

Chapter One: The Disease of a Great Swordsman

It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining, the sea was on their side, Luffy was playing a quiet game that Brook just taught him with Chopper and Usopp. Zoro was napping, Sanji was in the kitchen, Franky was looking over blueprints and Robin was reading a book. It was actually peaceful for once on the Thousand Sunny. Nami scanned the newspaper, Impel Down's Reconstruction Halted by Massive Rat Epidemic, Sengoku's Seagull has Laid Eggs, blah blah blah and then something caught her eye.

"Zoro, have you read the paper today?" Nami asked the napping swordsman.

"Since when do I read newspapers?" Zoro grumbled sleepily.

"Since when does the marimo even know how to read?" Sanji asked as he served Nami her morning newspaper snack. Zoro's eye twitched but before he could slash the love cook with Shusuii (because it does the most damage) Nami read the headline of today's paper aloud.

"Mihawk dying of mysterious disease, only three months to live." Nami said to the astonishment of the Strawhat Crew.

"Eh, how's Zoro going to be the greatest swordsman now?" Luffy asked, "Who's the second greatest?"

"I believe that would be-," Robin began before she was hastily cut off by a semi-napping Zoro.

"Yeah right, if he's dying from some disease, I'm really a mermaid in disguise." Sanji's foot almost hit the unsuspecting swordsman who jumped at the last second.

"How dare you insinuate that you could be one of the goddesses of the sea, you cactus!" Sanji said as Zoro grabbed his swords and they began to fight...again. Franky started shouting for them to stop damaging the ship, Robin giggled before going back to her book and Luffy, Usopp, Brook and Chopper watched, cheering and making a ruckus. Nami rolled her eyes and went back to her paper, peace and quiet never lasts on the Thousand Sunny.

"Dying of a mysterious disease?" Shanks asked, looking at Ben as if he could change the newspaper's headline. The island they were currently partying on dropped a few decibels as the red haired pirates awaited their captain's reaction.

"That's what the paper says," Ben said to his superior. Who, like his hair, was starting to turn red, either because of the exuberant amount of alcohol he just consumed or because of the anger over the fact that Mihawk hadn't told him of his condition.

"Set sail for Kuraigana Island," Shanks shouted at his crew. They began to pack up the rum and food. Or at least they would have it they weren't so drunk that they couldn't even walk in a straight line. After six barrels of rum were mistaken for attacking pirates that Yasopp just had to shoot and Lucky Roo fell asleep on top of the crates of food, Ben finally convinced Shanks that waiting until the next day would not kill Mihawk.

When the Red Hair pirates finally landed on Kuraigana Island and dispatched the attacking gorillas, Shanks ran toward the castle ignoring his first mate's calls to 'bring the doctor with you dammit!' and, after a good ten minutes, Shanks crashed through the front door and began to ascend the stairs all the while screaming:

"Don't go into the light! I'm right here Mihawk! Stay away from the light!"

Mihawk, who was laying in bed, groaned at the offending noise and tried to reach Kokuto Yoru to murder the offending one armed idiot who was drunk enough (he was only guessing this because the last time said idiot was sober was, well, never) to dare enter his lair screaming some nonsense at the top of his lungs. Unfortunately, the second he got up Mihawk had a coughing fit. Damn sickness. By now the idiot who was crashing around in his house (he had better not have broken anything) had found his room and kicked in the door (just to be dramatic, since it was unlocked). They stood staring at each other for a few seconds.

"You're sick," Shanks said in a shocked tone, "I thought that it was the newspaper making up stories again." He walked over to rub his friend's back as he coughed harder.

"What are you doing here?" Mihawk asked between coughs.

"How are you?" Shanks asked, completely ignoring the question, "Damn, where's a doctor when you need him?"

"Ugh, I'm not feeling well, so would you please get out of my house so I may suffer in peace?" The World's Greatest Swordsman asked as he fell back into his bed and covered his face with a pillow. He was coughing, tired, cold, feverish, he had aches in places that have only ached after an extreme workout and a headache (though he didn't know if this was from his illness or the redhead).

"I'm here because you're sick! Why didn't you tell me?" Shanks yelled at his friend.

"It was none of your business, if I want to be sick by myself than I will," Mihawk said menacingly, at least it would be if he had enough energy to glare.

"I'm your friend, don't give me that look, actually I'm you're best friend because you don't have any other friends. No, just because you're a shichibukai doesn't make the other shichibukai your friends automatically. And just because Roronoa Zoro wants to kill you doesn't make him your friend either. What did the doctor say? I think you should get a second opinion. Why didn't I bring the damn doctor with me?"

"You were my rival, I'm way too tired to have given you any type of look, I don't have friends which means I definitely don't have a best friend. The closest thing to a best friend I have would be Kokuto Yoru. I would never want any type of relationship with any of those six idiots or that rookie. What doctor? I diagnosed myself. I don't need a second opinion for my own diagnosis. And you didn't bring that 'damn' doctor with you because you are an idiot." Mihawk said before he launched into another coughing fit and curled up under his covers, "Now go away."

"What do you mean you didn't see a doctor? You're dying!" Shanks shouted, "I demand you be diagnosed by a professional this instant. How can you not care that you only have three months left to live."

"What are you yammering on about now?" Mihawk asked, "This illness won't kill me. I'll be fine."

"It's incurable!" Shanks said.

"It's the flu," Mihawk said before covering his head with a pillow, "I can just sleep it off."

"Don't be ridiculous, you need a doctor around in case you have some sort of attack, and a proper chef and-did you just say you have the flu?" Shanks asked. He put his hand oh his friend's (they're friends despite what Mihawk said) forehead.

"Hey captain, I brought the doctor with me." Ben said as he walked into the room, "What in the world did you do? Everything in the castle is broken."

"What in the world did you break?" Mihawk asked, "You had better pay to have whatever you broke fixed. What is this man do-mmph." He was cut off when the doctor put a thermometer in his mouth.

"Keep that under your tongue. So did he tell you what it is?" Doctor Greg asked.

"He has the flu."

"The flu? You made us run here while everyone still had hangovers to see him before he died from the mysterious disease and he has the flu?" Greg asked angrily while Ben just laughed.

"That's that then. So I guess we should leave." Ben said, "I'll assess the damage to your castle and leave enough gold to get it fixed." Mihawk nodded, at least there was one sane person on the ship. Everyone was getting up to leave and Mihawk thought everything was going to be ok. He would go back to sleep and get better and it would be like this never happened.

"Don't be ridiculous, Mihawk's sick. I'm going to nurse him back to health." Shanks declared.

Or not...

So what did you think? I've never written a One Piece fanfic before so tell me what you think. The next chapter is going to be about how Shanks (fails) at taking care of Mihawk. Poor Mihawk.