Disclaimer: "NCIS" and its characters don't belong to me they belong to CBS and are being used without permission. Please don't sue because I have no money.
Author's Note I was listening to a song called The Bottom by Sydni Perry and thought it might be a good Ziva song fic. It kind of fits, but not really. The lyrics are on my profile page because there are no lyrics online.
Ziva unlocks the door and drops her keys into the basket near the door and her backpack follows it's decent onto the floor. The week had been a hard one and so had her feelings of what happened in Somalia. She still couldn't believe that Tony, McGee and Gibbs had come to rescue her. How could they do that? How could they put their lives on the line for her? She still didn't believe it. She had been sent to see a psychologist after she came home to NCIS. She sits down on the couch not wanting to turn anything on not even the lights. When will this end. She was barely hanging on with all the memories and feelings of what happened to her in Somalia. She wanted someone to rescue her and make her stop feeling what she was feeling. She wanted to feel normal. She had felt bad before and as the days went on she felt like she was slipping lower and lower. She didn't know if she had the strength to go on. She knew that she had to hang on, but really what was she hanging on for. Michael was dead, her father had made her finish his work and this is what happened to her, she didn't know if she could trust Tony, or Gibbs. Tony because he was the one that had killed Michael and Gibbs because he had left her there.
She never told the team what really happened in Somalia and she knew that she never would. She knew that she had to tell the psychologist what had happened, but she couldn't yet. She had to tell her because she knew she had to get it out. She had to get this burden off her chest. She had to let it go to keep on healing. Maybe tomorrow, or the next day, but not today. She listened to the chatter around her when she was in the NCIS office when she was visiting, but she wanted to scream. She wanted to scream that she wasn't all right even though she said she was.
She really wanted someone to rescue her. She knew that she had been rescued her from Somalia, but she felt like she was still back there. Every time her eyes closed she could see the dusty cells of Somalia and see Salem. She hated her father for what he had done to her.
She remembered when she was at Mossad and she was the best officer there. Then she was sent to be a liaison at NCIS and she when she had started there it was a couple of weeks until she felt like she fit in. She could understand her brother had killed one of their agents and she was the control officer. She should have been the one who should have stopped him, but she didn't. Of course they didn't know that Ari was her brother then. She wondered if her life would ever stop spiraling out of control when she could finally go back to the top. She didn't know, but she knew from her psychologist that she would help her do just that.