Disclaimer: I don't own PJO.
AN: Nothing really new, so enjoy your summer break! Oh, right. I've never written Clarisse, so I hope this isn't too OOC. Without too much further ado, onto the story! Written for Bookluva98's "Not Just Words" challenge. It just didn't really fit with my other story for the subject.
Also, sorry, but there's a lot of crude language in here. So it's rated T.
Prompt: Malicious and crazed, were you, and those were your fatal flaws.
Your fatal flaw
Go piss yourself
To the G-o-d-d-e-s-s of
They showed you up
(At your own game, too)
You stupid bully
So go hide
That stupid, good for nothing daughter of Apollo. How dare she send me that poem, telling me that my fatal flaw is that I'm malicious and crazed? She was right, but that's not the point. Rachel was going down.
"Let me in!" I screeched, pounding on the door to the Apollo cabin.
I was planning on getting revenge on her for sending me that poem about my fatal flaw and my cabin's recent defeat it Capture the Flag.
"Yes?" a boy asked, opening the door. He looked to be about thirteen and had ruffled brown hair and slightly tanned skin. He was blinking away sleep, which seemed strange until I realized that it was currently two am, and that I was probably messing up his sleep.
"What is it, Misha?" another voice called.
"I really don't know, Rachel," Misha replied, turning around to talk to the unseen figure.
"Rachel, you bitch, I'm going to get you!" I screamed, pushing past Misha into the cabin.
"Whoa, are you breathing smoke?" Misha asked as I entered, "That would be a great trick for onstage. Do you think you could teach me?"
I didn't even dignify that with a response.
What really amused me was that he didn't think about how I was about to kill his sister. Of course, Apollo kids have never struck me as the brightest. I mean, who really cares about music and poetry and theater? Not me, that's for sure. You should just train and get ready for war.
You may be thinking, whoa, she's heartless. If you are, you're absolutely right. I am heartless. Not everyone can be this lucky. Well, actually, I care about Silena and Chris. Maybe even Annabeth and Prissy, but still. I don't think it's the same at all.
Anyway, Rachel's poem brought in some bad memories from last week's game of Capture the Flag, when the Athena, Poseidon, Apollo, Hermes and Demeter cabins totally kicked our asses in Capture the Flag.
Yeah, I should probably start talking about what happened with Rachel more and stop rambling. That's always good, I think. Short and to the point. KISS. Keep it simple, stupid.
"What was that poem supposed to mean?" I shouted at her.
"I'm surprised that you could tell that it was a poem and then actually read the words," Rachel responded cockily.
Misha snickered. "Congrats, Clarisse. You finally learned how to read. I suppose they'll have to let you out of kindergarten now. It's been, what, sixteen years?"
I glared at him as he and Rachel laughed.
"Don't insult my intelligence, Misha. I'll bescumber you!"
"What?" asked Rachel.
"Spray you with poop," someone in a bed, pretending to be asleep answered.
"Go to sleep, Nikki," Misha said.
"Microphallus!" I shouted.
"What does that mean?" the girl-Nikki-asked.
"Yeah, Clarisse, what does it mean?" Misha turned to me and asked.
"I have no idea," I admitted, "It's something I learned from Annabeth."
"I'm pretty sure you learned all of your insults from Annabeth," said Rachel dryly.
"I did not!" I bristled. I pulled Maimer up and brandished it.
"Aw, look," Rachel chortled, "Its Lamer!"
"Maimer," I corrected, "But I wouldn't expect a lowlife like you to know that."
"Lowlife?" she barked, "I'll get you for that!"
Misha looked worried. He obviously didn't think that all their teasing would lead to me actually attacking. Idiot.
"Die!" I screamed, bringing Maimer up to point right at her chest.
"What's going on?" a voice called.
All three of us turned to see Will Solace with his shirt buttoned wrong and untucked and his hair ruffled.
"Oooh," I laughed, "Solace is getting some action!"
Suddenly the whole cabin was up, pointing loaded bows at me.
"KP," Rachel grinned, "This is hilarious."
Luckily for her, Misha pulled her out of the way of my spear.
Hm…maybe I am malicious and crazed. It actually sounds kind of cool…
"To Chiron!" the one called Nikki shouted.
"To Chiron!" the others agreed.
"First," Rachel interjected, "Will, come here."
She brought a few of the girls with her and they began rapidly brushing and rebuttoning.
"There!" one of the younger girls cheered, "We even managed to hide the hickeys"
I had to get away before they got to Chiron. I should have brought some of my siblings for back up. They could have gotten me out of the situation.
Slowly I began to inch to the door, but that vixen, Nikki, saw me.
"Look out!" she yelled, pointing to where I was inching toward the door.
I sighed. I couldn't fight all of them. Even I knew that. I would only get in more trouble if I tried to escape.
"To Chiron!" One of the younger campers yelled.
"To Chiron!" The rest of the little children yelled.
Rachel and Misha looked amused as they took my arms, leading me to Hades…and KP.
"Life Events Happen," I said.
"Very well," Chiron said, "Kitchen duty for a week."
Kitchen duty for a week wasn't so bad, considering what I'd done. I was expecting at least a month. But I guess the gods were on my side…for once.
"Hey Clarisse," Annabeth smiled at me, "How did it go?"
"Not too bad. Kitchens for a week. I just wish I'd actually been able to harm that-"
"Please don't," Annabeth said, "There are children around."
"I got to use some of your insults, at least."
"Really?" she sounded interested, "Which ones?"
"Um, bescumber and microphallus."
"You'll spray them with poop and one has a tiny penis?" Annabeth asked, obviously questioning my sanity.
"Well, I didn't exactly remember what they meant…" I trailed off.
"Ninnyhammer," Annabeth muttered, "Well, good job remembering the words!"
"What was that supposed to mean, Fool?" I asked, imitating Mr. T.
"Exactly!" Annabeth called over her shoulder.
"Go drown yourself!" I shouted after her.
She didn't hear…mostly because she was walking into a lake with her boyfriend.
AN: Yeah. So, I procrastinated a lot. But it's done. Anyway, all three of the somewhat strange insults in there are real words. Ninnyhammer means fool, but the other two are explained. Sorry for all the crude language.