A/N: This is my first R&I fanfic. I apologize if the characters are a bit OOC or something along the lines of that, but I just recently began to watch the show and get kind of hooked. By recently, I mean like a month or almost so. xD Also, this is not femslash or anything like that. Just friendship and tragedy, oh and a one-shot may I add. :)
Warning: Character death. I don't hate the character (or any of them really), I just wanted to give this a chance and see how it would turn out. I love reviews, so send them in please! I'll love you FOREVER! =)
Disclaimer: I don't own Rizzoli & Isles. Surprise, surprise. We all knew that already. Now on with the story!
The dark, heavy clouds begin to gather around together, threatening to release what looks like a heavy rainstorm. It mirrors Maura Isles's look in her eyes and the way she is feeling, even though the other half of her is practically fine with the situation. They don't call her The Queen of the Dead for nothing. Today, she's sitting down on the cold, hard and green ground, with her legs folded before her and a bouquet of black roses tightened in her grip. She's staring at the tombstone in front of her which reads: "Jane Elizabeth Rizzoli, 1972-2011; Beloved Daughter, Friend, and Hero; You will be dearly missed."
She continues to stare at the tombstone in front of her but barely shudders to think that her best friend is interred in there. She knows that her friend is at peace and if her friend is okay, she's okay too. After all, she's always been more comfortable among the dead than the living.
Nevertheless, it's funny in a way. She always feels like the dead people she's around understand her, or somehow connect with her. She sometimes feels like they are the missing piece of the puzzle. When Jane was alive, they connected too, but now that she's dead, she surprisingly still feels like they connect. As long as she's near her tombstone, she's okay.
Twenty minutes pass, and although it's still not yet raining, the golden brown hair colored and fair skinned doctor is still staring at the tombstone, reading the wording over and over. She knows it by memory and sees it when she closes her eyes, yet she continues to read it. Jane is in there, she finds herself thinking over and over again. She's in there – must be uncomfortable, but she's in peace. She smiles gingerly to herself and begins to trace the engraved letters that spell out her best friend's name carefully with her right index finger.
Jane is at peace, she can't help but think to herself and with another smile, she is comforted. Sure, she misses having her around in person, but at the same time, she's happy for her friend. She no longer has to suffer anymore, or be scared, or feel pain, or go through the hardships that life brings. Anyway, she's more comfortable among the dead than the living; and it was perhaps no coincidence that her friend is part of the dead now.
For the first time in three months since she's been visiting her dead friend's tombstone, she hears a shuffling noise behind her, heading in her direction and coming towards her. They're footsteps. She's not scared – and when she turns around, she sees Jane's ex-partner, Barry Frost, making his way towards her. Quietly, he sits down next to her and says, "Hey."
"Hi," she answers him, giving him a small smile. Before she could open her mouth to utter another sentence, he says something first.
"You're here again."
"I'm always here," she says. "I'm with Jane. Even when I'm not here, I'm with her."
He's not freaked out or weirded out or uncomfortable like a regular person would be. He's known her for a while now and more than many, many people, he knows how she's at ease when the body of a lifeless person is around. Instead of being creeped out, he says, "What do you mean?"
Maura purses her lips for a moment and thinks about it. She decides that she can't actually put what she's feeling into words that people would so easily comprehend so she says, "It's kind of hard to explain, you know? I miss Jane – we all do – but she's happy now. She's at peace. If she's happy, then I'm happy too. I don't know how else to explain it. It's … weird."
He barely shrugs as he stares down at the ground and dejectedly mutters, "I'd prefer if she was at peace alive."
Maura turns her head sharply at him, but she's not mad. There's no reason for her to be mad or upset or hurt or angry. She looks at him but he doesn't return the gaze immediately. "I know," she sympathizes with him. "I miss her too. But… this is probably the best thing for her." As the words leave her mouth, she suddenly feels a wave of emotion overcome her and she can't explain why. She thinks back to her friend's memorial service and how she cried. A week, two weeks, three weeks, a month later, she had still cried. But then that was it. No more crying; she was happy for her friend.
What in the hell's happening to her now then? If she's so comfortable among the dead the way she knows she is and the way people say she is, and she's come to terms with her friend's death, ultimately feeling pleased for her peace, why is she getting emotional now? Jane is in there, she thinks to herself again, only this time her heart felt it was breaking into pieces with every passing second. She's at peace. She's happy, damn it. So why is it now starting to bother me? I feel like I'm still connected with her because she's dead. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe – she's dead and I can't connect with her anymore. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself think that I can to numb myself of the pain… Oh, God.
She feels her grip on the bouquet of black roses begin to come loose and she drops them. They land on legs which are still folded with a small, barely audible thud. Frost notices and looks up and then proceeds to put his arm on her back and rubs it comfortingly. When she looks up at him, tears are threatening to fall from her eyes in an attempt to keep some of her sanity and she finds the voice to say, "You know… maybe I'm just telling myself that I'm comfortable around her tombstone because she's dead and I'm usually comfortable around the dead but…" She closes her eyes for a mere second and reopens them as tears begin to mercilessly slip out and trail down her cheek until they fall down onto her lap. "She was my best friend, damn it! I can't keep lying to myself forever. I just…. I miss her… so damn much."
The mood catches up to him and tears begin to form in his eyes and stream down his own cheeks. They could swear the sky begins to get even darker, but perhaps it's their own mind tricking them – whatever it was, they couldn't be sure. "I know," he whispers as his heart sinks when he thinks back to the day Jane Rizzoli was killed. "I know, Maura. I miss her too. Things won't be the same…. Ever…"
She nods in agreement, but she wishes everything was the same and that Jane was still alive. She takes the bouquet of black roses and holds it up so they can both see. "These are black roses," she begins, as she holds back another sob that so meekly threatens to escape her lips. "They symbolize a tragic death–" with this, she glances at her friend's name on the tombstone and continues, "but they also represent strength. And Lord knows Jane was strong." She chuckles softly but half-heartedly.
"The strongest woman I've ever known," he agrees and lets her finish.
"I think these are the best flowers to say good-bye," Maura concludes. She sniffles and lets more tears be drained from her eyes, while some cling to her eyelids. "Don't you think?" Frost nods as she sets the bouquet before the tombstone and soon begins to drag herself off the ground. She feels tingly and uncomfortable after being in that same sitting position for all that time, but she doesn't care. Next to her, Frost is also getting up.
As he begins to walk ahead of her, she follows behind him but stops and brings her hand to her mouth. She kisses the palm of her hand and blows a kiss to Jane's tombstone. "Good-bye, Jane. I love you and I miss you every day."
Gingerly, she adds, "I can't wait to be at peace with you some day."
A/N: Ahh, the end. Please tell me what you guys think! I love me so reviews! ;)