A/N: Things that didn't fit into the summary…

Each of the chapters are going to be written from a different character's point of view because this whole thing is based on the video diaries from Modern Family :P

Also, this is just a really quick thing I scribbled down because I got a few sequel requests for She's a Lady, so it won't be quite as big as the first one :L

Don't kill me over chapter length. I just wrote down as much as I could think of XD


Ten years doesn't make marriage any easier.

With time comes other things. First comes the marriage, then the house, then the 'let's get to know the in-laws' stage (which inevitably will turn into a huge disaster), then the dog, and then the dog isn't good enough so along comes the kid.

Fortunately, I have been spared of three of these things: Oz already had a house, and it was big, so we were sweet for that one. Both of our mothers are dead or missing and we both hate our dads so we were in no rush to go visit them, so that was great too. We didn't get a dog either because his uncle's allergic, and lame as it sounds we live with him. And as an added bonus, we (meaning I) didn't have to pick up endless piles of crap all over the lawn and there was no fur to vacuum off all the couches.

That just leaves the kid.

My name's Alice Baskerville. I'm twenty-five years old and I've been married for ten years to Oz Vessalius, the heir to the Vessalius fortune. I'm an heiress, but my father disowned me after the marriage. We live together at the Vessalius mansion with his uncle, Oscar, who's really cool, and my cat Cheshire, who Oz's best friend hates. I'm also five months pregnant, which is so much worse than other women- or men- think.

If I was a low-life, prejudiced, selfish bitch- which I'm not- I would've gotten rid of the kid. I didn't out of the goodness of my heart, but I'm starting to second guess myself. Oz is proud to brag to all his dunderhead mates that his wife isn't obsessed with models and clothes and stuff, and he's right, but I don't think there's a woman on earth who would actually enjoy looking like a whale, even if it was for the sake of human life. And Oz's best mate's daughter- who, mind, is also twenty-five- is endlessly telling me how lucky I am and rubbing my swollen stomach, which is really uncomfortable for me. And the little bugger is constantly kicking. Oz had told me countless times that the noises I make when the little thing attempts to bust through my stomach make it sound like I'm already going into labour.

I'm not looking forward to that, either. I'd rather stay five months pregnant forever than sit in a hospital bed screaming my head off and cutting off the circulation to Oz's hand while strange people in face masks poke my lady bits. I've seen enough movies to know it's painful. And Oz thought he'd be a top bloke by buying me heaps of pregnancy books. Most of them had way too much information and way too many diagrams. I almost threw up all the crap I've been eating the past five months.

That's alright, I guess. I get to eat whatever I want and it's OK because I'm pregnant. Everything except alcohol, anyway. But that's not so bad. Oz really was a top bloke this time because he promised he wouldn't drink at all for the next nine months which me, which was nice. Of course, I can't stay in the same room as Gil now for different reasons than usual- the man smokes like a steam train. It's gross, baby or not. There are heaps of pills, too. Oz is really paranoid about them and watches me like a hawk to make sure I'm having the right dosage and everything. And then he locks them away in this secret place that only he knows (it's the medicine cupboard, Sharon told me).

There's one other plus, though. When we first got married, Oz and I went about the whole thing like we were just going out like normal fifteen year olds. But when we turned twenty, we had another wedding, for real. This time we went on an actual honeymoon and it just seemed so much more natural than it had ten years ago. After that we started sleeping in the same bed and everything like a normal married couple. That probably sounds really weird, but it's nice because every night when I go to bed I know Oz is right beside me. The other thing is that every single night for the past five months, right before I go to sleep, he just leans over and kisses my fat stomach- or rather, the baby that's inside it. It's nice to go to sleep knowing that of all the babies to have I'm having his.

But yeah. Mushiness aside, pregnancy kind of sucks.