Author's Note: This is my first piece of LotS fanfiction, I'm only just coming back to writing after a long time away from it, so all mistakes are mine (mistakes that I'm sure are bound to be present after not writing for so long). This was written in Notepad as well, so there might be a few spelling mistakes... oops? Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading it and any constructive criticism you feel you have to offer would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. :)
"You don't know what I've been through Kahlan," Cara said softly, her voice quiet in the silence of the night. "I never slept with Darken Rahl because I wanted to, I did it because I was forced, over and over again I was forced. Until eventually it was easier to pretend that I didn't mind because it was easier not to take the beatings at the hands of the others."
"My father..." Kahlan began to speak, but her words were quickly cut off by Cara, who directed a sharp gaze at the dark haired woman.
"Your father kept you away from others, yes he tied your hands away so you couldn't touch anyone else, but your father didn't make your hands move to touch someone intimately." The blonde haired woman paused, shaking her head, "For most of my youth I believed that my father sold me to the Mord'Sith, I believed that he wanted this life for me. I was seven when I was forced into that life, eight when I was first raped by one of the aegials and nine when I was first bedded by Darken Rahl."
"They used the aegials to rape you?" Kahlan wondered when she would stop being amazed by the things that the Mord'Sith did to the girls that they took into their service, but time and time again Cara would describe something from her childhood and she would learn something new about her blonde haired companion.
Cara nodded slowly, watching as the amazement spread through Kahlan's green eyes, her pupils widening as if she was trying to get a better look at the Mord'Sith. Trying to find the hidden marks that she hadn't been able to see before another new piece of information was shared with her. "That's why you bed women when you want pleasure, and man when you need to feel control."
"Probably." The blonde haired woman replied easily, "Darken Rahl took away my control when I was nine, I will never again allow him or any other man to do something similar."
"I'm not a man." Kahlan murmured quickly, her words slipping out of her mouth before she had a thought to stop them from flowing out.
There was a moment's pause while Cara's blue eyes scanned up and down her dark haired friend, her mind trying to connect the dots between the thoughts flowing through Kahlan's eyes before she nodded her head slowly, "No, you are not a man. You are something else entirely worse than a man."
"Don't put this down to my Confessor powers!" Kahlan growled, clenching her hands on Cara's shoulders as she used them to pull Cara closer to her.
"I wasn't." The blonde haired beauty answered, quirking an eyebrow at Kahlan's manhandling gesture before shrugging her shoulders. "I suppose you want an explanation don't you? You are worse because I think I could love you."
"What does a Mord'Sith know of love?" The Confessor spat.
For a moment Kahlan stood, shocked by the frankness of Cara's expression and her words, her mind flying to pick out the pieces of information contained within Cara's tone and between the words that she had already spoken. "Cara, tell me what you mean by that?"
"It's simple Confessor." Cara answered softly, "If I can love you, how can I be Mord'Sith any more? You are everything I was trained to hate and fear, everything that I was meant to stay away from if my life meant anything to me, and as a servant of the Lord Rahl my life is meant to mean everything to me so I can protect him. If I love you I can no longer protect my Lord Rahl, because I would want to take away his love. I would no longer be Mord'Sith."
"You fear this connection because you fear that you could no longer protect Richard if you love me?"
"No, that is not exactly it." Cara paused, waiting for the exact expressiom that she wanted to use to come to her before she parted her lips to speak once again. "I know that I would never stop protecting Richard, he is both my Lord Rahl, that has never changed, but he has also become a friend. He's become Richard on top of being Lord Rahl. However, I also want to take away that which he loves the most to make it my own."
"What if this person wanted to be yours and not Richard's?" Kahlan asked softly, lifting her hand from Cara's shoulder and cradling the blonde haired woman's cheek in the palm of her hand, comfortingly rubbing her thumb over Cara's soft skin. "What if I want to be yours Cara?"
"I couldn't take you away from Richard Kahlan." Cara whispered, moving forward slightly so that she could rest her forehead against the Confessor's.
Kahlan shook her head softly, leaning forward to press her lips against Cara's as gently as she could, flicking her tongue over the blonde haired woman's bottom lip intimately. A whimper rose in Cara's throat at the feeling of the Confessor's lips on her own, her own mouth beginning to move with Kahlan's as she tried to get as close as possible to the woman, clean white teeth dug down into the surface of Kahlan's lip sucking on it gently. Kahlan's hands slid around the back of Cara's shoulders, her fingers tangling in the soft short strands of Cara's bright blonde hair to keep their mouths pressed together tightly as well as moving forward so that their bodies were flush against one another. "You wouldn't be taking me away from Richard Cara, both he and I know that this has been coming because I've been moving away from him since I met you. The things that I felt with you, even when there was nothing but the attraction, were stronger than anything I've felt with Richard since I met him."
"You love me?" Cara asked softly, her voice quiet and strangely weak to be coming from the Mord'Sith.
The Confessor nodded her head, smiling softly before kissing Cara's bright red lips once again as she whispered against her mouth, "Yes." Her hands locking behind Cara's neck as she pulled away to look at the woman. "I love you."
"You've made me feel things that as a Mord'Sith I should never feel," Cara whispered, her gaze locked with Kahlan's as she tried to read the feelings that she could see in the Confessor's eyes. The Confessor's feelings were easily visible in her green irises, her Confessor power swirling in the colours. "You've made me love."
Kahlan nodded her head, her own eyes scanning Cara's for the emotions that she could see. The years of Cara's Mord'Sith training had blocked her emotions from her eyes, the years that she had spent locking away her emotions inside her mind had blocked Kahlan's ability to read the Mord'Sith. However, there was one emotion that Cara had never learned to lock away because as a Mord'Sith she didn't feel it, and it was shining brightly in the woman's blue eyes. "I can see it. You are more than a Mord'Sith now Cara, you've proved that time and time again when you've gone out of your way to help Richard on his quests."
"I think I love you Kahlan," Cara whispered softly, "I don't fight to protect my Lord Rahl any more, I fight to protect you as well."
"I know," Kahlan smiled softly, kissing the blonde haired woman again for a moment. "I think I could love you too Cara."