Greetings to all Okikagu fans there!haha...actually, i'm not the one who write this fic..maybe i have some of my ideas here and the plot is from me but there is an inspired person who writes this.. .i have a special friend in Facebook who really loves this two violent persons in Gintama! Thanks Jure-chan! Here's your masterpiece!

Chapter I

It was yet another normal day in the Yorozuya. Kagura was eating her sukonbu while lying with her tummy on the couch, Shinpachi cleaning their house while listening to Otsuu's songs, Sadaharu with his daily routine of biting Gin's head and Gin-chan sitting in front of the television with his eyes glued on the weather forecaster Ketsuno Ana while sipping his strawberry milk without noticing that blood is flowing down from his head.

It was supposed to be a peaceful day, not until…

*ding dong*

But no one cared, they just ignored it.

*ding dong* *ding dong*

Kagura lifted her head and faced Shinpachi, "Oi, Megane, someone's outside. Check it." she commanded.

"Stop calling me Megane! And I'm busy here why don't you try doing what you asked me?" Shinpachi answered.

Then she looked at Gin, "Gin-chan, someone's there. Check it."

No response, so she tried calling him again, "Oi, are you still alive?"

"Just leave it be." Finally Sadaharu took off his fangs from him, "It's just some salesman who couldn't sell well, trying to deceive us with his smile and say some flowery words to force us to buy his goods."

"Fine, then Sadaharu, let's open it." Kagura said.

"Arf!" the dog replied as if obeying her command. So the both of them hurried into the door.

*ding dong* *ding dong* *ding dong*

She opened the door. A fat guy appeared in front of her, carrying an umbrella with pale complexion.

"Ah! Kagur-" the guy said.

*bite* the man's head can no longer be seen. It was already inside Sadaharu's mouth and blood continuously flow from his head that it has reached the floor.

"Kagura-chan, who was i-?" Shinapachi asked, and saw what happened,"KAGURA? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

She looked back at him, "Ah. Shinpachi, get me a shovel." She said, with an innocent face as if she's not doing anything bad.

Shinpachi started panicking, he went to the door, "Oi Kagura! Tell Sadaharu to get off him!" But Sadaharu just deepen his bite, "Aaaaaaah! Sadaharu stop it!"

"Che. Fine, Sadaharu stop it." Kagura said, and just as he was told he took off his fangs from the guy's head.

"Hahaha…..*trembling voice*" his skin was so pale and his face was so bloody, "Heeeee…lloooo."

Inside the Yorozuya…

"Hai, here's the tea." Shinpachi said, while giving the tea to him

"Thank you." He said.

The guy sat on their couch while Gin and Kagura were sitting across him. They were just staring at him, like they've been trying to figure out something about it.

"Eh?" Gin suddenly said then pointed that guy, "Could you be that ham's twin?"

(Remember that episode about the shabu shabu? The fat girl there that Gin was calling ham.)

"Oi! That's too rude!" Shinpachi said

"H-ham?" the guy asked in confusion.

"Ahhh!" Kagura said while lightly tapping her fist on her palm like she just figured out something, "So that's why Sadaharu attacked you! He must've been hungry!"

"Kagura, you should apologize for what you've done a while ago." Shinpachi said.

Gin was holding his chin, "Men, who should've thought they would be elaborating that homo side character's family background." Then he pointed him again, "You should be grateful even if this is just a fanfic there are still some who would write about you."

"I bet he's just another homo side character in this story or worse an extra." Kagura said, "Who would like a ham to be a main character in a story, this is not a cooking anime oi."

"Stop it you two, please." Shinpachi plead, with a bit anger in his voice.

*anger mark* "Oi! Just to tell you I-" the guy said who was already pissed with the two

"Maa, maa….We're so sorry for what happened. Please calm down." –Shinpachi said to stop him.

"Who the hell are you? Bacon? Huh? Ham II?" Gin said.

"Gin-san! He could be our customer! Please stop that ham joke already!" –Shinpachi said then faced the guy, "Well, now that you mention it, who are you? And what's your business here?"

"Uhhh…Actually I am….." it was in a very low tone, with sincere voice.

"You are?"-shinpachi.

Then he stood up so proudly, and placed his hands on his waist. *boing* his tummy bounced with his extreme movements, then he pointed Kagura, "I AM YOUR FIANCE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" then he looked up and laughed out loud, *boing boing* "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!HOOORA, amazed? Huh? amazed that I am a main character in this story? HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ehhhh?" –shinpachi's jaw dropped.

Kagura faced Gin, "Gin-chan, I don't want to marry a bouncing ham."

Gin held her shoulders, "Isn't that great Kagura, you will be able to eat ham your whole life. looking at him, he attracts all the ham in this world." he was holding up his laughter, "You fit each other, don't worry."

"But he's full of fats, and fats have too much cholesterol."

Shinpachi's hands were trembling while holding his glasses, "M-may I ask how that happened?" he was also holding up his laughter.

"I just gave Umibouzu some hair thickener and he agreed right away." The ha— err..the guy said.

"Oi Gin-chan, do something about it. I don't want to be tied up with this extra-looking character." Kagura plead.

"Okay, okay…." Then he stood up and faced the so-called fiancé, "Oi, Bacon!"

"Hey, my name's Yuuichi!" the ha—guy said.

"Heh? He has a name?" Kagura said.

"I AM a main character here!"

Kagura just looked at the opposite direction with droopy eyes and said, "Che. "

"You can't marry this girl, it's because I am her Father-in-Law!" Gin shouted.

"Eh?" –Shinpachi

"Ehhh…I don't want a stingy father-in-law." Kagura complained.

"Shut up and just go with the flow." Gin whispered to her, then faced him again, "She's already married okay? So take back that hair thickener from his baldy father and get the hell out of here!"

"Hah! Then where is her husband?" Yuuichi asked, "This guy?" and he pointed Shinpachi.

"Oi! I will never marry a pair of glasses! " Kagura defended,

"Hey that hurts my feelings!" Shinpachi shouted.

"Wait, who's your husband?" Gin whispered to Kagura.

"Just say some random names! " Kagura replied.

"Then, Zura!"

"He's just interested in penguin looking ducks, or duck looking penguins!"


"I don't want to live in card boards! And wear shades my whole life!"


"Just let him live with his Anpan!"


"I don't want to be a zoo keeper!"


"I prefer ketchup!"

"Then…Hmmmmm" he looked up and remembered something,"Ah!" he exclaimed, then he quickly got something from his pocket. It was a picture of Sougo and Kagura ala Miyaka and Tamahome. He showed it to him.

BG music: anata ga te mitsumeteru psssst…that's from Slam D*** itooshi hito no tame ni ima na in da dekiru ka na

"The prince of Planet Sadist and first captain of Shinsengumi, SOUGO OKITA!" he shouted.

"Oi, where did you get that?" Kagura asked he was surprised and pissed with that picture.

"Some OkiKagu fans out there." he replied.

"Che…those pesky fans asking for fan services, don't fantasize too much…Oi, not everything can be as you pleased!" said she as while looking somewhere as if there was a camera there, then shouted"I don't want to be a masochist! Anyone but that guy!"

"Shhhh….we have no choice okay?" Gin told her.

"Hey, I liked that anime when I was a kid…The eternal love of Tamahome and Miyaka, then those scenes that are not for ki—De, that's just fan art! Show me a concrete proof! Introduce that guy to the Yato clan!"

"W-what are you say-?" Kagura shouted but Gin had covered her mouth.

"Yes, yes…we will do that." Gin told him.

He took off his hands from Kagura's mouth, "I'd rather die than ask a favor from that guy!" she shouted.

"Then, I will wait for him in our planet. Hah!" said he, *boing* "Good bye for now." Then went out of their house.

"Gin-san, I don't think Okita-san would easily agree with what you want him to do." Shinpachi interrupted.

"Eh? you're still here?" Gin said,

"Of course I am here! I've been here all the time" then he looked at Kagura, "So what will we do Kagura-chan?"

"I hate that sadist! He's my rival so there's no way I would ask him something like that!" she said

"Then what do you prefer, a ham or a sadist?" Gin asked.

"A….sadist." she said with low voice that obviously sounded she was shy to say it.