PJO Couples on Crack

Couples we all know that shouldn't happen. "Heartwarming moments" between couples that never would last.

Clarisse and Grover: Clover! AH WHAT AN EPICO NAME!

PS: I know I said this would be Rachel's chapter, but this seemed much more suitable.

Warning: Has some purposeful OOC, just to show how insane this is. May cause extreme case of WTFRS: What the Fuuuu Repeating Syndrome. Read at own risk. ;)

Clarisse stuffed another peppermint into her mouth as she reflexively flipped the channels of the TV set. Yawning again as another Holiday Special brightened the screen, she switched the TV off. She would have adored to go do something useful, like go to the gym down the street and pump iron so hard all the muscle men would stop and gape at her, or go see a wrestling match, or go for a jog.

But no.

It was snowing. Clarisse insisted it was not too much, but just then the weather lady showed the snow storms that would occur for the next week, making Grover's and her argument invalid. So, she couldn't leave the apartment because it was stupid winter in stupid New York.

Stupid earth rotation.

After another feminist argument with Grover about how unfair it was that he got to leave the apartment and she couldn't, Clarisse really felt like ripping apart the cushions on the red saggy couch.

But, whatever. Girls should get used to it, a voice mocked in her head.

Clarisse wanted to break a lamp. Something good like that.

But then again, Grover really needed to go defrost some bushes that held secret nymphs and all. Or they'd die in the cold.

But, getting ripped biceps is important like that, too!



With a sigh, Clarisse flopped back onto the couch and angrily (yet guiltily) plopped another peppermint into her mouth.

The door creaked open. "Clare-bear, I'm home! How have you been for the past three hours?" Grover beamed as he walked through the door. Clarisse's anger melted away. She loved their pet names for another.

"Well, Grove-Love, I've been very bored." She sighed dramatically. Grover brought out such a new side to her.

Grover bleh-ed like a goat when he saw how filthy the living room was. "Look at all those wrappers on the floor! Bleh!"he declaimed as he quickly snatched up the scattered plastic wraps on the floor. He was about to throw them in the garbage bin until Clarisse decided to ask him something that might have increase in his interest.

"Hey, Grovey-Bunny, how about you not throw those away? Like isn't trash bad and hooha? Why not just throw them into the fireplace and-"

Grover gasped, placing a hand to his heart. "Clarisse!" he chided, "burning plastic is worse than garbage! Want to choke on carbon monoxide?"

She opened her mouth to say, "That's sounds cool!"

But he interrupted, "That was a rhetorical question, Clarisse!"

She grumbled some foul language and clicked the TV back on. She tried to look interested in the hardcore wrestling match going on, but Grover knew that her mind was replaying what had happened and how he had scolded her. Usually, she was the one yelling at him whenever he did something remotely stupid. She wasn't used to being on the bottom, so she was flustered.

"I appreciate that you were trying to help out! It's the thought that counts!" he coaxed, sitting on the couch next to her. She crossed her arms and looked away, but in the corner of her eyes she was still watching the wrestling match.

"Get your flimsy arms off me and go step on a lego," she said, gritting through her teeth.

"But, Clarey-Barey! I know how hard it must be for you to have to stay inside all day! I assumed you'd be either doing pull ups with that bar I got Percy to install! Or watching wrestling or something like that! I thought you'd be happy!" he insisted, grabbing her hand.

She shook it off and told him, "If you want me to happy, drop down and give me fifty! Then go get me some meat! Some big red juicy meat!"

He nodded his head and dropped to the floor and began to try to do pushups. "Anything for you, Cuddle-Bunny!" he said before he grunted from the discomfort.

"I don't want girl pushups! I want manly pushups!" she bellowed. "And make it 100, since you're pissing me off more!"

He nodded his head, sweat dripping from his brow. "As you wish, my Princess!"

He saw her nod her head, which meant she was content. So he focused on clearing the shame he'd put on Clarisse and himself by finishing up the pushups.

Clarisse went back to watching her wrestling. She hadn't been mad at him in the end. She just wanted him to shut up and get more beef on his arms so she wasn't embarrassed by him at the gym. And she liked how he'd do anything for her enjoyment like he was her little puppet. She was back on top again!

And it was kind of funny too, watching him suffer.

Happy Holidays!

I know, I promised this would be Rachel's chapter, but she is so darn difficult to pair up with! And this was so fun to write too! It was all wintery and hooha!

(I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians, nor any or the characters. Or any crack.)