To my dearest sister Luna,
There's so much that I wanted to say to you. I know you probably don't want to listen to me, but I have to ask that you hear me out. Maybe it will help you understand that despite what happened, I still love you and hope that you'll return one day. Nothing that you have done has changed that, and nothing you could do will change that. If you thought that I didn't need you, or didn't want you with me, you could not be more wrong. You've always meant more to me that you ever knew.
I suppose that I should have told you this years ago. I feel like a fool for never mentioning it before. Maybe if I hadn't hidden it, I could have saved you. Maybe you wouldn't have tried to take the whole sky for yourself. But what is done is done, and there's nothing left for me to do but tell you now. At least, I believe there's still hope for you.
You probably won't believe me when I say this, but I used to be afraid of the dark. You wouldn't have remembered it anyway. It was before you were born, when I was the only princess of Equestria. I loved the sun, and everything about it. The way it warmed the earth, how it made the plants grow, how the raindrops shattered its light into every color; it was like the sun was my best friend.
But the night terrified me. I hated the darkness. It covered everything. It felt like the entire world was hiding from me. It was like I was completely cut off from everything that I loved so much; as if I was always alone. The world was empty, except for the unknown horrors that hid in the darkness. Every night all I could do was curl up in bed and wait for the sun to rise.
I remember that I was scared when you were born. It was the middle of the night, when everything was darkest. Our parents had told me that you were going to govern the night as I did with the day. I had never been so terrified. The idea that everything I hated; the darkness, the unknown, the isolation...that you, my sister, would embody all of it...I was afraid of you. I didn't even want to go see you after you were born. It was stupid, but I didn't think I could do it.
Mother had to practically push me through the door into your room. The room was dark, of course. I'm still not sure how I managed to make my way from the door to the cradle where you were curled up. All I wanted to do was take a quick glimpse and get back to the light. But it changed when I first met you.
I don't know what I had expected, but it wasn't what you turned out to be. I could feel myself shaking as I reached out to pat you on the head. I could hardly even see you; the room was so dark, and you practically blended in with the blankets. But then you opened your eyes and looked right into mine.
I'm still not sure, but I could swear that I saw a flicker of magic around your horn, and a silver moonbeam shone in through the window. From that moment on, I couldn't be afraid of the night. It was the first time in my life that I realized that it could be beautiful. I wasn't alone in the night any more. Even in the darkest, starless nights, I knew that you were there, behind it all.
That's why it was so terrible when you became Nightmare Moon. It was as if everything that I had been afraid you would be had come true. But still, I couldn't be afraid of you. I knew that under the armor was that quiet little pony who had always followed me around, asking questions about everything.
I wish that I could say that I don't understand why you did what you did, but that would be a lie. I remember the long hours that you spent on your sky; making sure every star was in its place, arranging how the comets would fall, drawing your pictures on the moon... You were so proud when you showed it to me for the first time.
It took my breath away. When I saw what you had created, I couldn't believe that I had ever been afraid. It was something that not even I could have ever done. Nopony would ever stare at the sun. I didn't have anything to hang in my sky. It was my duty to illuminate the beauty of the world rather than create my own.
I watched your face fall as you saw everypony go back to their homes as I brought the sun down. I could hear you sigh as you raised the moon into a sky that nopony bothered to look at. I know that nopony ever loved the stars as much as you, and I can't imagine how much it must have hurt when you realized that not every pony felt the same. When you realized that some of them were even afraid of the night, I noticed a change.
I think that was when it started. I could see your disappointment and sadness turning into anger. I could feel it, especially when you saw how the other ponies treated me. You were jealous of how much they loved the sun, and you wanted them to feel the same way about the night. The fact that they feared it must have been eating away at the back of your mind.
I only wish it could have happened differently. Maybe if you had known just how much you'd helped me... I should have told you how beautiful the night sky was to me; how because of you I would never be afraid of the dark again. I don't know why I never did. Maybe it was my pride. Maybe I was just jealous of the fact that you had something that I could never hope to touch. Whatever it was, I can't believe that it took me until now to realize how stupid it was.
I never wanted to send you away. I never wanted to take the sky away from you. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. The night was made for you, and nopony else. That's why even though I sent you away, I made you a part of the sky that you loved so much. One day, I know you'll understand why I did what I did, and when you do, the night will be yours again. It could never belong to me. I am only holding onto it for you until you return, and I can't wait until you do.
It seems like at the end of every day, the night is a little darker without you.
Your loving sister,
Celestia stared at the words on the scroll for a moment before rolling it up. She sighed as she turned to the window, where the last rays of the sunset were streaming into the room. Her horn glowed a pale gold as she pointed it at the sun, slowly lowering it beyond the horizon. The gold glow in the sky vanished, replaced with an ethereal blue as the the moon began to rise into the sky. She called out into the hallway.
"Achaicus, I have a message I need you to send." Celestia tried to keep her voice level as she lifted the scroll off of the desk. "It's very important."
"Yes, princess." A short, somewhat rotund dragon scurried into the room. "To where would you like me to send it?"
"I've enchanted it with the location myself. It's very important."
"I see." Achaicus nodded sagely before spitting a plume of fire at the scroll. It consumed the paper in a flash of green before spiraling out the window. "Will that be all, princess?"
"Yes, thank you."
The dragon nodded and backed out of the room with a bow. Celestia turned back to the window in time to see the shimmering flame disappear into the distance as it floated towards the moon. Whether or not it would arrive was anyone's guess. Even if it did, whether or not it would be received was a whole other question.
Celestia's gaze remained fixed on the moon as she slowly trotted out onto her balcony. She glanced down for a moment. A lump began to form in her sprawled out beneath her. The streets seemed to be mostly empty. In the silver moonlight, she could see the last few ponies making their way to their homes. None of them were looking up. Nopony wanted to think about the Mare in the Moon.
She turned her gaze skyward. It had always been a mystery to her. While no other pony could see anything except Nightmare Moon, she had never been able to see anything other than her little sister. Celestia swallowed the lump in her throat as she forced the words out.
"Good night, Luna."
This story just kinda popped into my head while I was thinking of what Celestia and Luna's relationship and history was before the whole banishment thing happened. I figured it would be interesting to figure out what was going through Celestia's head during the whole incident; how she would respond to being forced to banish her sister, as well as how Luna influenced Celestia. Hopefully it didn't come across as too melodramatic, but I figured that's the type of thing Celestia would write.
It was also a good chance to practice writing in first person, which I don't do very often. It was also an opportunity to have another fic on my list that isn't Negima related. So this gives me a little variety.
The only other note here is the name of Celestia's dragon. I figured that since Celestia's other pet, Philomena, was named after a saint, I should keep up the theme naming. I chose Achaicus because he's credited with delivering letters to and from Corinth for St. Paul, so I figured it was a fitting name for a character that basically exists for the purposes of sending messages.
Anyway, reviews are greatly appreciated. I'm curious about how well I captured Celestia's voice.
Thanks for reading.