Hey guys! I'm back after a super long hiatus. College happens. I'm graduating soon which is why I don't update often. Anyway, I wrote this story because I, personally, haven't read any stories that show Harry with post-traumatic stress disorder and, as a psychology minor, I want to write one about that. PTSD is terrible, it destroys families and it rips apart the person who has to re-live every horrible event they lived through. And, as my friend put it, I have two marriages to destroy in this story. So I will. I think everything will turn out in the end. Thanks! :)
DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER, NOT JK ROWLING. If I were, it'd be HarryxHermione all the way.
"Harry! HARRY!" Ginny shook her husband awake. This was another nightmare in a string of on and off again dreams in the past several years. Ginny was no stranger to Harry's nightmares but she was growing tired of them, night after night, year after year.
Harry whipped his head back and forth looking for the invisible enemy. Swear poured down his chest and back. Finally the face of his wife came into focus.
"Ginny," he sighed, "I'm sorry I woke you and scared you… again." He hung his head ashamed.
"Haven't you been drinking the potions that healer gave you? Do they help at all?" She ran her hands through his hair and down his back trying to calm him.
"I've tried! None of them do anything for me!" He clenched the sheet in his fists. "You think I ENJOY these nightmares?"
"Shhh! You'll wake the children." Ginny tired again to calm him. "I know you don't enjoy them. But you've done everything you can. What more can you do?" She turned away from him looking at the wall. She ran her hands through her red hair in a movement she'd picked up from Harry many years before. "Let's try going back to sleep. I'm leaving tomorrow for Germany with the Holly Head Harpies." She snuggled under the covers and rolled away from Harry.
Harry, on the other hand, shoved the sheets away from him violently. He left their room and wandered down the halls of his home in Godric's Hallow. He passed the rooms of his sons and somehow found himself in his daughter's bedroom. She had been born only a few months ago. The nightmares had stopped for only a short while after she was born.
His fingers traced the squishy baby powdery face of his daughter. He loved her, no question about it. He had always wanted a daughter and a large family, or any family for that matter. But he had always imagined his family being happy, less stressed and certainly not falling apart like his current family was doing.
He knew something was wrong with himself. These nightmares had been invading his mind for the last several years, since the war ended. He never remembered them but the feelings were the same: fear, panic, anxiety. He tried talking to Ginny but all she did was send him to a healer. He didn't need potions or spells. He needed to talk to someone.
When this realization dawned on him, he wrote a letter to the only person he could knew he could talk to without being judged. Hermione.
"Ron! Ronald Weasley! Would you MIND?" She elbowed her husband who was snoring loudly.
"Huh? What? Whas goin' on?" He asked sleepily.
"You were snoring. Quite loudly." She crossed her arms over her chest angrily.
"I'm sorry Hermione. You know I don't mean to." He looked at her lovingly, trying to pacify her.
"Yes, I know the anatomy behind-"
"What's that at the window?" He pointed a finger at their bedroom window.
"It's an owl. I think it's Harry's owl!" She dashed to the window, tripping and tangling herself in the sheets in the process.
"Oy Hermione. Don't take all the covers with you!" He grabbed the sheets back onto the bed.
"Oh come on. Don't you want to know what he has to say to us? Especially at this time of night?" She stood up and flung the sheets away from her.
"I s'ppose." He rubbed his eyes with his fists and got out of bed as well.
You remember the nightmares I've had for, well basically for forever? They've started coming back. I thought they were gone after Lily was born but I guess I was wrong. Ginny keeps insisting I go to a healer and take potions. But I don't NEED potions. I NEED to talk to someone. I was hoping I could talk to you about them? I'm so tired of these nightmares and I know Ginny is too. Please help me, help us.
Harry J. Potter"
"Well, that was important." Ron grumbled. He never was easy to talk to when woken "rudely".
"Ron! He needs our help!" She stomped her foot, silently demanding he help.
"He addressed the letter to YOU, Hermione. Not me, you. We're best mates yeah but guys don't talk about feelings and stuff like that. This sounds more up your alley anyway. You're all smart and emotions and stuff…" he trailed off as he fought the sheets to get back into bed.
"Well you're right. Sorry Darling but you have the emotional range of a teaspoon." She got into bed and snuggled up next to Ron. "I'll owl him tomorrow and we can figure things out."
"I'm sure you will Love." He kissed her forehead and they both fell asleep.
Ginny was in the kitchen making breakfast for her family. Being raised by Mrs. Weasley, she'd learned a lot about cooking. And while she thought a woman should keep her family happy, she did NOT agree that a woman should give up her career, which was why she was leaving on tour with the Holly Head Harpies. After she made sure her family was well fed and happily on their way to whatever the day brought them.
She tried to reach a bowl on the top most shelf, forgetting she could summon it. Her fingers just barely grasped it before it fell and shattered on the floor. She began to reparo it but suddenly dropped it, re-shattering the bowl because Harry banged into the kitchen.
"STUPEFY!" He screamed pointing his wand at Ginny. He realized his mistake the moment the spell left his lips. "Shit."
Ginny lay knocked out on the floor. This was not the first time this had happened either. At the beginning of their marriage, every loud noise, creak of the floor, or sudden sounds resulted with his reflex of stunning the enemy. Although most of the time, the "enemy" turned out to be his wife.
"Enervate" he whispered.
Ginny moaned and pulled herself up off the floor. She looked around stupidly before realized what had happened, again, for the millionth time.
"Harry. James. Potter!" she growled, her fingers shaping into claws. "I have had ENOUGH of this! I thought we were past this!" she flung her arms wide, indicating to the glass bowl on the floor. "This is ridiculous! I don't…" her voice broke, "I don't know how much more of this I can take. Maybe, while I'm on tour… we shouldn't talk. We need… I need a break. I'm sorry Harry." She looked down, her furry subsiding.
"I don't blame you. I'm sorry I'm so messed up. Listen, I'm going to see Hermione today. Maybe she can help." He reached out to hug her.
Ginny allowed herself to be folded into his arms. "I'm sorry this is happening to us. We never had it easy. But I thought we would." Before either of them knew it, they were sliding to the floor and crying on each other.
"Ron, I'm off to see Harry." She whipped her muggle coat around her shoulders and stuffed her arms in the sleeves. "I don't know when I'll be back but please don't forget to feed the kids!" She buttoned up her coat as Ron walked to the entrance way with her. "You know Rosie doesn't like meat at this stage and –"
"And Hugo doesn't like carrots or bananas. I know." He kissed her hat covered forehead. "You think you'll be warm enough in that get-up?" He chuckled softly.
"Yes!" She huffed indignantly. "I've got two jumpers on under my coat. And I'm apparating. It's not like I'll be outside long."
She looked up into his ocean blue eyes and felt her heart warm. He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist. She put her mitten covered hands on his chest and stood on tip toes to kiss her husband softly. His arms tightened around her, pulling her closer.
"Ron," she regretfully sighed, "we can't do this right now. The timing AND the location is off! What if Rosie or Hugo saw us? Hmm?" She giggled like a school girl.
"So? They will know Mummy and Daddy love each other very, very much." He rested his forehead against hers.
Chocolate eyes met ocean blue once more and they were wrapped in a passionate embrace. Ron pushed her against the closed closet door while his tongue sought entrance to her mouth. Hermione sighed in happiness.
"EEWWW! Mummy! What are you doing?" Rosie screeched, effectively ruining the moment. Her face was of disgust.
"Rosie, Daddy is showing Mummy how much he loves her!" She giggled, hiding her face in Ron's chest, who pulled her closer in response, letting out a deep belly laugh.
He released Hermione and walked toward Rose. "Alright Munchkin, let's get you fed. And then we can play monster in the cave!" He tossed her in the air and she squealed in delight. Ron winked at Hermione before he walked around the corner to the kitchen.
Hermione stood in the entrance way for a moment longer with her hand on her heart, filled with such happiness that her life was so good. Then she thought about Harry, poor Harry. It seemed his life was falling apart. With sadness weighing her heart she walked out the front door to rescue her best friend.
Read and review as always! But only review if you think I've earned one. I also apologize for any grammar mistakes I may have made as I don't have a beta yet. No flames please but constructive criticism always welcome. And if you have plot ideas feel free to send them my way and I'll try to add them! :)