Title:  Abnormal Like Me

Author:  Victory Thru Tears

Rating:  R, because it's slash. Also, it might have violence later on, and a bit of swearing. Depends what I do with it!

Dedication:  To Star, because she's my Star. Awww…how sweet is that? I'd also like to apologize to her that I'm writing yet another fic on the side of the Queertet series. But my muse decided to drop this on my head! Don't worry Star, you know how the Queertet rules my mind. Oh yes, and think you for this heading once again.

Also, dedication to Stepherz and Joyful!

Feedback:  Of course! Please god, yes!

Disclaimer:  Disney owns the Ducks. You know, I might not even return them when I'm finished…I mean, Disney's not doing anything with them! Any characters not in the Ducks movies, though, are mine.

Distribution:  Want, Ask, Take, Have.

Summary:  Adam's always been a little shy and quiet. The kid just screams 'repressed gay boy'! Anyway, this is about Adam wanting the one that he can't have. So, instead of trying to get closer to him, he separates himself. Much angst will obviously follow.

Notes:  Argh, I know, I shouldn't have taken yet another story under my wing…but I really like this one, and it's going to be short-ish. Anyway, more stories are better than no stories. Chapters should be from Adam's POV, if things change I'll state it. First chapter starts in the last, oh, 3 seconds of the JV-Varsity game.

Chapter One: Bittersweet Victory

Goldberg looks around scared for a second, and then after the insistent screaming of almost every single person in attendance, shoots the puck in right before the buzzer.

We rush together. We've won. We've defeated Varsity.

I run at Charlie, making sure that he's the first person that I embrace. The rest of the team collides with us, and we gather ourselves in a giant group hug. Even Orion joins in.

I hug Julie, then Ken, then Guy. The Bash Brothers catch me in the middle of one of their chest butts, but quickly back off when I yell about my wrist.

It takes me a few minutes, and I realize that Charlie is missing. I look around for him.

He's engaged in deep lip-lock with a girl.

My heart rips in half.

Fulton grabs me in a headlock and ruffles my hair. I try to swallow the lump in my throat and laugh along with him and Portman.

Wow, what a bittersweet victory.

I bite back the tears that are threatening to spill out. How could I be so stupid? He's a great guy. Perfect, actually. Ok, so he's a little hotheaded at times, and he's really stubborn…but he's handsome and talented and smart and funny and…

Straight.

Yeah, that's right. What else could he be? He's too perfect to be…abnormal like me. I've heard Julie complain before, "All the good guys are gay", but I'm going to have to argue. All the good guys are straight, and fall for girls that look like something between a rat and a snake.

Who is the girl, anyway? She looks familiar, but I can't place her. I know I've seen her before, but not with Charlie; I would have probably had a seizure if I had.

Charlie skates back towards us, cheering and hugging everyone. His girl smiles at him for a moment, and then leaves.

Charlie throws his arms around my neck.

"You did it, Banksie…see, you are a real Duck! Don't ever say you aren't again!" He yells in my ear.

I try to laugh and hug him back, but I know it's a really weak attempt. He doesn't seem to notice, and moves on to hugging Russ.

I skate off of the ice numbly. I'm glad that I can change in peace once in the locker room. As I'm leaving I hear everyone else coming in. They probably don't even notice that I'm gone.

Once in my dorm room, I struggle to make the tears come out. I haven't cried in weeks, but god have I wanted to. It always feels better to get out a good cry.

I've never felt so alone.

Why, though? He hasn't rejected me. If anything, I should have expected this. I've been bracing myself for it for the past two years.

It's hard to believe that it's been that long. I've known him for four years, and been in love with him for half of the time. I can't pin down when I fell for him to an exact moment, but I know that it slowly just happened. And I was deluded enough to believe that he felt the same.

Through the years there have just been little things that have made me think that. Like the way that he gave up his spot for me when my wrist was healed during the Goodwill Games. Or that time in the first couple weeks of school when my room was being repainted and I had to stay in his. He accidentally came in while I was changing, and the electricity that filled the room…man.

Even when we fought a few weeks ago during the unofficial JV-Varsity match. He sounded like he was upset because he loved me.

None of that is true, of course.

Now I can't believe what I've done. I'm not good at anything, just hockey. So I gave up my spot on Varsity to be with a guy that doesn't even like me?

No, Adam, that's not right. You gave up your spot for the Ducks, not just Charlie.

To hell with that! It was all for Charlie! Everything is for Charlie. He's the only thing that keeps me going.

I wonder if I can talk the coaches into letting me back on Varsity. Because I can't bear to look at Charlie anymore than I have to. Not now that I know that nothing is going to happen with him. My infatuation has to stop, and it's not going to if I keep hanging around him.

My roommate comes in, a triumphant grin on his face. "Good job, Banksie! You were awesome!"

"Thanks Lucas." I can't really get used to him calling me Banksie. He only started after hearing the Ducks do it. Before, I used to be Adam. I prefer that instead of Banks, Banksie, Cake-eater, and any other nickname they come up with to use on me. I'm a real person for god's sake.

Lucas is my roommate. He's not on any sports teams; he's not outrageously smart, or even outrageously rich. He's just an average guy. That's what I like so much about him. He doesn't try to be anything he's not, and he just makes me feel at ease.

"That was a great save you pulled, too- what luck, jumping in front of the goal like that!"

I shrug. I just wanted to win.

"Listen, your friends told me to tell you to go meet them in the cafeteria. They want to celebrate your victory, Duck-style." The grin looks like it's going to split his face. "And that's a direct quote from that Averman guy."

I shake my head, and lay down on my bed. "I'm not really feeling too good."

"Oh, what's up?" His smile falters a bit.

"Nothing, I'm just feeling a little sick."

"Well, that sucks, you just winning a big game and all. Hey, you wouldn't mind if I left, would you? Marco said that he was going to set me up with this chick Lily, maybe you know her…she's one of the JV cheerleaders. Anyway, she's really hot, and I…"

I fight the urge to roll my eyes. Typical straight freshman male. "Yeah, go ahead. I'll just be here."

"Ok, that's cool." He starts for the door again. "If I see the Ducks I'll tell them you're sick."

I nod, and he closes the door behind him.

The party will be raging on for hours. But I don't feel like attending at all. I'm just going to curl up here and die. It's better that way. Because then I won't have to watch Charlie break my heart some more. It's unbelievable how much pain I'm going through because of him, and he doesn't even know it.