WarioWare: Mega Micro Cupid.
WarioWare: Mega MicroFanfics
Written by Mike cervantes (.com)
WarioWare is (c) 2006 Nintendo ltd. I do not claim owndership of the characters in any way. This is merely a tribute.
SECTION 1: Mega Micro Cupid.
It's a beautiful day in Diamond City when Mona recieves a very astonishing phone call!
Mona: WAIIIII! (The roof of "Mona's Pizza" flies off with the power of her scream. Mona excitedly chatters on the telephone.) A pizza delivery? for YOU Wario! Yes, I'll bring it over in a jiffy! (she slams the phone on the reciever and flashes the 'victory' sign.) Hooray! I get to go see Wario today!
(She dashes through the kitchen, pots and pans flying everywhere and comes out of the back door holding a stack of pizza boxes, still flashing the victory sign, with Starmen flshing in her eyes.)
Mona: today is the day I finally tell Wario how I truly feel...We'll meet face-to-face, and then...
(Mona's thoughts fade into fantasy, depicted in a thought bubble with the words 'Mona's Fantasy' written above us. Wario and Mona are standing tete a tete with their arms in eachother's hands.)
Wario: Oh, Mona, your pizzas are as'a delicious as you are'a beautiful.
Mona: Oh Wario, let's stay this way forever...
Wario: I'd love'a to but I gotta sneeze, Ah-ah-AHHH!
(the thought bubble pops just before the scene gets disgusting and Mona snaps back to life, still flashing the victory sign.)
Mona: Oh my, I'd better get going!
(Mona zooms down the street on her moped, holding the pizzas in one hand and still flashing the victory sign with the other hand. She pulls up to Wario's house, still in the same pose, and knocks on the door with the hand flashing the victory sign.)
Wario: Who'a the heck ees it?
Mona: (Still flashing her pose, her face turning red.) It's Mona! I'm here to deliver your garlic and headcheese pizzas!
Wario: Oh, just'a slip it under the door, and beat it!
Mona: (Her red face begins to turn blue.) Uh-uhm...bu-but...uh...
Wario: What are'a you, stupid?
(the stack of pizzas leap out of Mona's hands and crawl out under the door like a caterpillar. Mona is still holding the same pose, but her face is blue and she's shaking violently.)
Mona: Bu-but, Wa-wa-wario? Wha-at a-b-b-bout the mo-money?
Wario: Oh, just'a put it on my tab! EEEHEHEHEHEH!
(Mona's features turn angry, and the victory sign she holds in her hand suddenly loses a pointer finger. Steam blows out from under her bike helmet.)
Mona: Ooh! that Wario, he makes me so MAD! (She angrily stomps off.)
Back at Mona's pizza, Mona sadly laments her loss of Wario's affection.
Mona: (Leaning her head against the front counter.) I just don't understand...why doesn't Wario ever notice me?
(Joe walks out from behind the counter, buttoning up the shirt underneath his vest, yet still wearing his chef's hat.)
Joe: Maybe you're not trying hard enough. I mean, all you did was deliver a pizza...If you hope to woo Wario, you need to make sure what you're doing is special.
Mona: *sighs* Hey, wait! I have an idea!
(Mona looms over Joe with a torrent of flames standing behind him. Joe cowers in the fetal position with his hands on his head.)
Mona: Wario will be MINE for sure this time! MUAHAHAHAHA!
PRETTY SOON, THE HAUNTED MANSION BELONGING TO THE DIABOLICAL ADOLESCENT WITCH, ASHLEY, RECIEVES AN UNEXPECTED VISITOR.
(Mona walks up to the front door of Ashley's mansion and knocks. The door creaks open and a skull, hovering in the air with a pair of bat-wings answers the door.)
Skull: Yes, may I help you?
Mona: (Smiling sweetly.) Yes, you can. Is the young mistress of the house in? I'd really like to speak with her.
Skull: Sorry, miss, but I'm afraid that Ashley is very busy at the moment, and she won't allow any visitors.
Mona: (still smiling sweetly.) You know, you'd make a great bowling ball, but of course I'd have to cut those nasty wings off first. (She produces a pair of large shears behind her back, opening and closing them menacingly.)
Skull: Oh, why didn't you say so? Walk this way, please...
(Mona is lead to a room upstairs where Ashley appears to be drawing arcane symbols on the ground with a red piece of chalk. She stands, dusting the red dust off her dress and looks down at her work: a picture of a giant pirannha plant chasing off a group of Fronks. The doors swing open, Mona standing on the other side. She walks up to Ashley, shaking her right leg until Ashley's demon familiar Red, lets go of her.)
Red: (scampers over to Ashley and begins to bow at her feet.) Forgive me, mistress, I tried to stop her...
Ashley: (Stomps on Red, making him vanish in a cloud of smoke. She looks up at Mona angrily.) What do you want?
Mona: I want you to brew a love potion that'll make Wario fall madly in love with me.
Ashley: (Laughs wickedly, as Red reappears resting on top on her ponytail.) I don't need to brew a love potion, there are hundreds of them down in the basement: every year and vintage you can think of. Come on, I'll show you.
(Ashley leads Mona downstairs and opens another large wooden door. Inside there are a ton of potions stacked on wooden shelves like wine bottles.)
Ashley: Grandma has made herself a large collection over the years, impressive huh?
(There's no sign of Mona, just a vapor trail leading upstairs. Several bottles are gone. On one of the shelves is a yellow sticky-note with the words IOU written on it.)
Ashley: (sighs) Grandma is going to be very displeased.
Back at Mona's Pizza, Mona works tirelessly to secure the path that leads to Wario's heart.
(Mona pours out the contents of several bottles into a large bowl, then grabs a flour sifter and pours its contents on top. She kneads the dough together, covers it with pizza sauce and toppings, and loads it into the oven. Soon she bursts out of the back door of her shop again, holding a massive pizza box in her hand.)
Mona: (Posed with fireballs in her eyes and holding a victory sign, she talks thorugh fanged teeth.) Wario, I'm coming for you, and this time, your single days are numbered!
(Mona rings the doorbell to Wario's house. Wario opens the door a crack, but seeing that it's Mona on the other side, he screams and shuts the door.)
Mona: (stomps her foot.) Wario, seriously, let me in! I have a free pizza for you!
Wario: Uhm...er...uh, Wario isn't in right'a now, this is'a, his answering machine...dooooooooooooot...
(Mona knocks the front door down. Wario is on his knees, pleading and sniffling.)
Wario: Please'a, don't come in! I can't'a let you see me like'a this!
Mona: (Blinking) What do you mean? (she tilts her head to the side and sees Jimmy fast asleep on Wario's couch.) What the-
Wario: He got'a sick on'a the dance floor and I brought'a him back here. He's been asleep since'a yesterday.
Mona: Oh, so that's why you wouldn't let me in...I could have helped you know.
Wario: (Growling angrily.) I didn't want'a you to think I'd gone'a soft! Now, I think you said something about'a free pizza. (Snatches the pizza out of Mona's hands and starts chowing the whole thing down wihle facing Jimmy.)
Mona: Wait, Wario don't eat that!
(Wario finishes eating the pizza, and with a quick glance towards a sleeping Jimmy, falls instantly in love. A Fronk with cupid wings and a diaper flutters by and shoots Wario in the head with an arrow.)
Mona: Oh no, this is really bad.
Wario: (Sitting on one knee and holding the unconscious Jimmy by the hand.) Oh, my dear sweet'a Jimmy, I'll revive'a you from this sleeping spell with true'a love's first kiss. (He leans in and kisses Jimmy on the hand, Mona recoils in disgust.)
Mona: I've got to find Ashley and undo this fast.
(she zips out of wario's house, and chugs her moped back to the haunted mansion. Inside, she faces an obstinate Ashley.)
Ashley: Why should I help you out now? I say whatever went wrong with the spell is your own fault. You got what you deserve
Mona: (pleading on her knees.) Please, Ashley. I'm not going to suffer because of this, but if I don't do something right now Wario's going to be in love with Jimmy forever.
Ashley: Well, as much as I'd hate to see that, and let's face it, nobody wants to see that, there's nothing I can do. The only way to break the spell of a love potion is with true love.
Mona: (slumps her shoulders down.) I guess that means we're out of luck. Wario doesn't love anything, except...Hey that's it!
Back at Wario's house, Wario continues to awake his sleeping beauty.
Wario: (Standing over Jimmy with a plunger in the dancer's face pumping it up and down.) I said'a wake up, my love, wake up NOW! (wario leaps down and throws the plunger against a wall, making it stick.) It's'a no use, I'm gonna have'a to do this the old'a fashioned way. (He wipes his lips on his arm.) Brace'a yourself, my love, I'm'a going in.
(Wario puckers up and leans in closely to Jimmy, but before he can fulfill his intent, Mona bursts in, holding a big wad of cash up in her hand. The Zelda secret noise sounds trough the air, and Wario shakes his head violently.)
Wario: What'a happened? (He lookes to see that he's holding Jimmy in his arms and drops his head on the floor, knocking his wig off.)
Mona: Oh, it's nothing to worry about, Wario, just probably something you ate...
Jimmy: (Wakes up, and stands, moving his wig back and fourth.) Oh man, what a rough night. (He looks over to Wario's shirt, which has a big stain on it.) Hey, Wario-man, what's that? Pizza sauce? (He dabs the stain with his finger and licks his finger.)
Mona: (Leaps backwards with her hands over her cheeks) Oh no, not again!