I ended up thinking this fic up when I was watching fanvids. One was to Boyce Avenue's cover of Teenage Dream. It's quite emotive and the line "we can dance until we die" made this suddenly come to my mind - I have no idea why exactly. I almost started crying at the very idea.
I can only hope my writing expresses the idea clearly. I was crying writing it, because the idea of it happened was breaking my heart - and I'm not saying my writing is spectacular. Just the…idea.
Anyway, I hope you like it.
"What in the world are you doing, Blaine?" asked Kurt, as his husband fiddled with the old CD player in their living room.
"I told you," said Blaine, finally getting the thing to work. Soft piano filled the room. Blaine walked slowly over to Kurt and held out his hand; Kurt was suddenly struck with the image of a much young Blaine at his first prom. "Excuse me," said Blaine, humor in his tone, along with something more. "May I have this dance?"
"You may," said Kurt, laughter in his voice, too. "You might need to give an old man a break, though. Help me up?"
"Always," said Blaine.
Kurt put his hand in Blaine's and it seemed like their wrinkles from age had formed around each other, they fit together so perfectly. Kurt's bone's made cracking sounds as Blaine helped him to his feet. Blaine slipped his arm around Kurt's waist, his other hand tightly clasped in Kurt's and their bodies firmly pressed together.
"You're as beautiful as the day I met you," said Blaine, looking up at Kurt with those eyes that made Kurt feel warmth deep inside his chest.
"I'm old, Blaine," said Kurt, rolling his eyes at his husband. "Your sight must be going."
"Not at all," said Blaine, his hand leaving Kurt's for only a moment as he reached up to adjust his glasses. Fifteen years ago he had to end up getting a prescription, something that Kurt hadn't let him live down, though he thought the glasses did make him look rather dignified. "And I remember the day quite clearly."
"You do?" asked Kurt, his eyes sparkling as they swayed to the calming piano playing from the speakers. Personally, he would never forget that day. It made his heart still flutter to this day. "Tell me about it."
"Well," began Blaine, leaning in and pressing his withered cheek to Kurt's. "It was a day like any other, I was checking my watch and hoping I wasn't late to another Warbler performance, then I turned and saw your eyes. Beautiful sea green and I felt my breath leave me. Then I introduced myself, and the Warblers, then took your hand. Then I sang to you. This song, in fact."
Kurt started. The piano was still playing and Kurt realized it was that song - who sang it again? He remembered something about kissing girls, but he couldn't for the life of him remember the artist. The melody was the right one, though. And the words…
"No regrets, just love," sang Blaine softly directly into his ear. Kurt could clearly remember the Blaine from that first day singing to him, sparkling smile and flirty eyes. "We can dance, until we die. You and I will be young forever."
"Young forever," echoed Kurt. He chuckled and nuzzled against Blaine's cheek. "I don't think we ended up keeping that promise, love. Here we are, 89 years old."
"And yet we're dancing to the song that brought us together," said Blaine, pulling away from Kurt's face, his eyes sparkling. "What could be more young, at heart at least, then that? And I've never felt younger than when I'm with you."
Kurt leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Blaine's wrinkled cheek, then down to his lips. "I can agree on that, I suppose." Kurt sighed into his embrace as the song started over again. His knees ached slightly, but there was no way he was leaving this moment anytime soon.
"What brought this on?" Kurt asked, his head falling onto Blaine's shoulder, the cardigan he wore scratchy on his cheek. "We haven't danced in…I can't remember how long."
"That's one reason," said Blaine. "I love dancing with you. The other reason…" Blaine fell silent for a moment and when he spoke again, he have sang the lyric of the song playing: "We can dance, until we die." Blaine's hands tightened their grip. "I want that with you, Kurt. I always have. To be together, dancing," he chuckled. "Until we die."
Kurt felt on edge, suddenly. "Die? Blaine what…"
"I just had a feeling I should be dancing with you," said Blaine, his tone low. "It's like you said…I'm an old man. I've lived a life full of love and full of years and I…I feel tired, Kurt. I feel this weight in my bones and hear a ticking and I just…I want to be in this moment with you forever. Or as long as we have."
"Blaine," said Kurt, lifting his head from Blaine's shoulder and looking at him with a hard stare. Blaine's hazel eyes were full of tears. "What - why -" Kurt brought a hand up to his powder hair, bringing his fingers though the fine strands and Blaine's eyes closed at the touch. "Why do you suddenly think…we have time together, Blaine. We're not that old."
"I know," said Blaine with a watery smile. "I know. Life is longer than when we were kids but…Kurt I just feel…" Blaine let out a breath. "I know we haven't talked about our funerals for a few years, but…"
"No," said Kurt firmly. "No. I don't understand why you're talking about this, Blaine."
"Because I feel like I should. You remember everything I wanted, if I die first, right? My will and service…"
"Of course I do," said Kurt, growing more upset. "But I don't understand -"
"Good," said Blaine shortly. His face softened. "I know I'm probably overreacting. But I just…I want our grandkids to not have to worry, dear."
"I know," said Kurt softly. "We talked about that years ago. We don't need to bring it up now."
Blaine nodded slowly, looking as if his thoughts were a million miles away. They continued to dance, their bodies melting as one together. Kurt closed his eyes; he could remember the first time they had danced like this, at prom, and all the times after that. A handful of times during Glee practices, their wedding - one of the happiest days of Kurt's life, and their son's wedding, for that matter. Other times just in their living room, like now: their horrible first apartment, the house they bought a few years into their marriage and this one, their second home.
Kurt's best and most treasured memories took place in these arms.
"I love you," Blaine said into his ear as the piano played softly to an end.
"I love you, too," replied Kurt, never more sure of those words than he was now.
Two days later, Kurt awoke to an unmoving body next to him.
Kurt called his son, Harper, in hysterical tears. Harper had insisted that Kurt and Blaine move closer to where he and his wife lived so if anything like this happened…they could be there.
Kurt never thought that they would actually need this formality, but Blaine had insisted.
When Kurt waited for his son, he laid curled up next to Blaine, tears steady and his palm pressed into Blaine's cold one.
Harper and Addie, his wife, arrived and let themselves in. Kurt held Harper tightly, his face pressed into his shirt so hard he could barely breath.
"It's ok, daddy," said Harper, clutching his back and trying to sound calm, but Kurt could hear the tears in his voice. "Papa he…papa…" Harper himself couldn't finish the sentence and the two men cried together and waited for the ambulance to arrive.
Three days later, Kurt had made sure he did Blaine's funeral exactly how he had planned it over a decade ago. Not a mourning, but a celebration. Their friends from high school, college and beyond attended. Then he was buried next to Kurt's father and Carole.
Harper helped Kurt walk out to the grave, Kurt's other hand leaning into his cane. When they stood in front of the large gravestone, Harper handed Kurt the bouquet of yellow roses, Blaine's favorite. Kurt leaned down, aching, and put them in front of the grave. He straightened up and read over the words again.
Husband, father and dear friend
Who brought courage and love to everyone he met
Kurt leaned heavily onto Harper. Without his son and family…Kurt had only been able to make it through his father's funeral with Blaine's help and strong hand on his lower back.
"I miss him," said Harper.
"I do too," said Kurt thickly.
Kurt remembered when Blaine forced them to sit down and plan out their wills and funerals, so many years ago. Kurt hadn't wanted to - he had never been good with death, but Blaine insisted.
"Most of all," said Blaine, after nailing down some more technically arrangements. "I want you to remember something, Kurt." Kurt looked up as Blaine slipped his hand into his husband's. "That if I die first, I want you to keep living your life. Don't stop it just for me."
Kurt, even then, couldn't imagine life without Blaine.
"But you are my life," said Kurt. "How can I live a life if its died."
Blaine smiled sadly. "Would you want me to stop living if you died first?"
"No," said Kurt. "You…no."
"See," said Blaine, knowing he had won. "Just remember that. Be strong for me. I know I'll try to be if…if you die first, love."
"But baby," said Kurt, his arm coming around Harper's shoulder's and hugging him closer. "He wouldn't want us to be sad for him, or…stop living because he's gone."
"I know," said Harper.
"He loved us. You were…you were his whole world, Harper. Even though you're mine, genetically, Blaine was so proud to be your father." Harper nodded, his throat closing up. Kurt dropped his arm from Harper's shoulders and held out his hand. Harper looked at it, his tears still falling steadily, before putting his hand in Kurt's.
They walked out of the graveyard.
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
Kurt missed Blaine, everyday.
They had been together since they were 17 years old - no more than children. They lived more of their life together than apart and suddenly not having Blaine next to him…hurt.
But Kurt knew Blaine would kill him if he let this kill him, too.
So Kurt got by on the memory of Blaine and the love of his living family. He had three grandchildren that loved their grandpa Kurt and he didn't want them to be sad. Kurt lived on the memory of the last time he danced in Blaine's arms, because at least Blaine had given him that before leaving.
And when Kurt left this world, 5 years after Blaine; his husband, his life, his world, Kurt closed his eyes and saw the baby faced boy he saw on the stairs that day and heard their song in his ears.
We can dance, until we die.
You and I will be young forever
So there we are. I hope I got the emotion across. The idea that struck me was "them dying at different times" because the odds of them dying at the same time…not good. But I can only be happy that they apparently had so many good years together.
Feedback welcomed. 3