Well, this just started out because I'm apparently hopeless at trying to write my own stories at the moment… Either way, I absolutely adore Shimako and Noriko. I've found it a little difficult to figure out who'd be the 'seme' and 'uke'- I think it'd probably would've been one of those weird relationships where they reverse…but ultimately, even though Noriko's very outgoing, I think Shimako would be in charge of the overall RELATIONSHIP, if you get what I mean. Anyway, this may or may not be a chapter fic, and if it is, hopefully I'll manage to add in one of my new favorite couples (I'm growing tired of Sachiko/Yumi, and I find Touko's personality to be horribly cute). So if you like it, PLEASE review! It's what keeps me writing! (Plus I don't feel like doing much else since my nose hurts =P Nose piercings hurt a lot more than you'd think xP But it was worth it to see my dad's reaction, even if it is just a stud xD)
Summary: The Roses reflect upon their relationships with their respective soeurs.
For Every Fallen Star, Another Hopeful Heart
Prologue: Make a Wish
Jealousy isn't a pretty emotion.
She knows this, she does.
Only, she's related to Sachiko, and really, it's not as if it should come as a surprise to anyone that she tends to feel this emotion more heavily than others, even if she's a bit better at hiding it than her indirect cousin.
She thinks this huffily, wishing Noriko would stop sending her those stupid, knowing looks, like she knows everything that Touko has worked so hard to keep hidden.
She scoffs- Noriko is the last person who should be giving her those looks if she thinks everyone and their late uncle can't see the way she looks at the young Rosa Gigantea.
But now she's getting off the subject. Where was she?
It's funny now, she thinks, that Yumi has admitted to having felt it directed at her because of the time she spent with her precious Sachiko-onee-samaaaaaa. She remembers the swell of pride in her chest at having been the only person to be able to make the notoriously kind Yumi-sama act in such a way, and her lips pull tight.
When had it stopped being so fun to see Yumi's cheeks puff out when she'd cling to Sachiko for a second too long? And when had she stopped feeling so elated with her acting skills when Yumi would send those pathetic attempts at death glares her way?
Maybe, she thinks, it was the day that Yumi first asked her to be her petite soeur, and she'd rejected her so harshly. She didn't want the pity, and she still doesn't, which is why she sits and silently fumes while Yumi dotes over Sachiko like an overeager puppy.
Sachiko knows, she thinks. It's not as if she makes it obvious, but there's something in the looks she sometimes sends in Touko's direction, something in the way her (beautiful, always beautiful, because she's Sachiko, after all) blue eyes flash when Touko comes just a bit too close to blowing everything, something in the way that she stands just a little taller every time Touko walks into the room.
Like she has the right to keep Yumi from Touko.
It infuriates her that Sachiko knows, and yet there's nothing she can do about it, so she shrugs it off and pretends she doesn't notice. She hates being so transparent, and sometimes she wishes she'd never met the angel of Lillian.
And why did Yumi have to choose her to save? There are plenty of other charity cases- plenty of other girls who have been abandoned or neglected or abused. She thinks maybe it's because she tried so hard to keep Yumi away.
And now that she's given up, she's decided that maybe her approach needs to be a little more direct, and spends her time as close to her onee-sama as possible. Not that it does much good, with Yumi all wrapped around Sachiko's little finger like she is.
And that's where the jealousy comes in, isn't it?
If Touko had a nickel for every time Yumi smiles that smile and every time Sachiko doesn't deserve it directed her way… Well, she's rich anyway, but it's the metaphor that counts.
Not that Touko thinks she deserves Yumi any more than her cousin does, but that's how jealousy works, isn't it?
Petty, skewed, and irrational at its best.
And besides, she's sick of seeing Yumi cry, and if Sachiko makes it happen one more time (because it's always Sachiko, except for that one time, and Touko doesn't count that because Yumi ran to Sachiko in the end anyway, as she always does), she thinks she might slap her, beloved cousin or otherwise. Maria-sama knows she's had it coming for a while now.
But now Yumi's standing up to leave, and the sudden lack of warmth beside Touko makes her snap out of her fantasy world and face the reality that is SachikoandYumi, because everybody's long since agreed that even if Sachiko never realizes what she has and makes a bloody move already, Yumi will stay by her side forever. Even now, she's attached herself to Sachiko's arm, while Sachiko just looks down at her with that stupid, disapproving half-smile that makes Touko want to scream. Because if Sachiko doesn't want her, the least she could do is give her to someone who does. But Sachiko does want her, Touko knows; it's only that she's had Yumi wrapped around her ring finger and she doesn't know what it's like to have to fight for love.
Touko catches Noriko sending her a sympathetic look and she glares and glares until the young white rose rolls her eyes and turns back to her own onee-sama, her expression instantly changing into one of lovesick devotion.
It's sick, this cycle of picking out a petite soeur only for the sake of having them inevitably fall for their onee-sama only to suffer for years before finding out that they never had a chance to begin with. Touko puts on her coat with little grace and follows after SachikoandYumi, not bothering to walk gently- in fact, she walks as loudly as possible, her clunky boots slapping loudly against the wooden floor with every step she takes. She takes little comfort in knowing how much her unladylike actions bother Rosa Chinesis, knowing that for every second Sachiko spends glaring at her, that's one less second that she spends making Yumi fall even further.
Jealousy isn't a pretty emotion.
She knows this, she does.
So then, for every touch that transpires between SachikoandYumi, Touko must grow just a little bit uglier.
But it doesn't bother her, not really.
Because after all, who could compare to Sachiko and her stupid, beautiful smile and her stupid, beautiful eyes and her stupid, beautiful body that managed to entrance the most beautiful girl in the world?
She's growing tired of watching Touko glare at the Rosa Chinesis.
It's not as if she doesn't stand a chance- if Touko only stopped glaring and thought for a fraction of a second, she could see exactly how to take advantage of Sachiko's weaknesses.
No, it's not like Touko's situation is hopeless.
And sometimes she hates Touko for feeling that it is, when her own onee-sama is the most beautiful girl in the world, a girl who couldn't possibly support such an improper love.
It's funny, she thinks, that a girl like her, rambunctious and blunt and ever-cheerful, could be so hopeless.
She had hope at first, of course- there was something in the way that Shimako sometimes let her calm, caring façade slip, like the time she admitted to wanting to find Noriko's card. At those times, when Shimako would blush and stutter just slightly, it felt like Noriko would die from trying not to kiss her.
But that, she's decided, is just Shimako being a good onee-sama. Because despite those contradictory moments, Shimako treats her as nothing more than a good friend, a confidante. And it's not that she's not happy with the trust her onee-sama puts in her, but Noriko is only a teenage girl, after all.
It wouldn't hurt her ego, she thinks, to see Shimako's mask twitch just a little bit when Noriko gets a little too friendly with an upperclassman (and she knows quite a few, due to her outgoing nature, but she isn't sure if Shimako knows of this. She'll make a mental note to use it later, perhaps), like Sachiko's does so often every time the previous Rosa Gigantea, Shimako's onee-sama, is within a fifty-yard radius of Yumi. Careful observation tells Noriko that Shimako would probably just smile and thank them for taking care of her petite soeur, though.
And it's not like Noriko doesn't love her onee-sama for who she is, but would it be so hard to give her just a little sign? A kiss on the cheek, a touch on her arm- anything, really, that would give Noriko some kind of sign that her love isn't in vain. Shimako isn't like Sachiko, after all, and Noriko is infinitely thankful for that- she personally has no idea how Yumi can stand there and take everything Sachiko throws at her and come out more in love than she had been before.
She does feel sorry for Touko on such occasions- even Noriko can see that, though Touko has a rough exterior, she would treat Yumi like the princess she deserved to be treated as, not the burden Sachiko always seemed to make her out to be.
But she can't and won't spend all her time worrying about the Rosas Chinesis and the drama that they seemed to attract like magnets.
Sometimes she gets the strongest urge to touch Shimako, and not just a simple brush of the arms or clasp of the hands.
Sometimes all she wants to do wrap her arms around her onee-sama's waist and rest her head on her chest and fall asleep there and never wake up.
She sometimes wonders if such urges are normal, and then shrugs it off, because she is a teenage girl, after all. Such feelings are to be expected until after college, where she will undoubtedly marry a nice, boring boy and have a nice, boring house with two point five nice, boring children, who would undoubtedly go through this same phase.
Only Noriko doesn't want that.
She doesn't know what she wants, only that she doesn't want Shimako to be a phase, no matter how much it hurts.
She doesn't know how many more moments she'll have with Shimako, only that there will always be one too few.
But Noriko isn't the kind of girl to give up, even when she really ought to.
Beside her, she gazes boldly at her onee-sama until Shimako slowly looks up, having undoubtedly felt her petite soeur's eyes boring into her. And she hesitates for half a second before smiling that beautiful, sweet, bashful little smile like she's got nothing to hide from the world, and Noriko is struck by an irrepressible wave of jealousy to whoever gets to wake up to that smile for the rest of their lives, and she's oh so sure they don't deserve her, even though she's never met them before and Shimako likely hasn't either.
Noriko grins widely back, her heart cheering inside her chest when a pretty blush forms over the bridge of Shimako's lightly freckled nose.
And it becomes apparent to her in that one second that she won't be able to let Shimako go without a fight, even if the person would make her onee-sama happier than anything, and it scares her. But for now, she's going to do the only thing she knows how.
She's going to prove her love to Shimako, and leave it up to her to decide whether she wants it or not. There's nothing sadder than giving up without so much as trying, and having to live with the dreams of what could have been.
She loves Rei.
She's in love with Rei, and she thinks that anyone who can't see that needs their eyes examined immediately. And the only reason they might not see it is because stupid Rei-chan won't let anything happen between them- she's always pulling away a second too soon, lingering a second too long.
Because we're cousins, Yoshino, and it isn't right.
But Sachiko-sama is engaged to that switch-hitter Kashiwagi and they're cousins, she'll always say, but Rei just smiles sadly and shakes her head.
It's not the same thing, Yoshino.
And it's not, because they actually love each other, and Yoshino is not going to give up until Rei realizes that.
So should I keep going or quit while I'm ahead? Remember, reviews make a huge difference to me!