The Last Will and Testament of Fred Weasley
With the war and everything… You just never know, So I thought… Just in case. Here goes.
Assuming George is still alive, you take my entire estate (which I assume is mostly nothing except 3 galleons and a sickle) unless I have children or a wife, in that case…. Sorry George. Oh and if I do not have children or a wife or if George isn't alive I leave my entire estate, and assuming this has worked out in a way that I have the power to do this, Weasley's Wizarding Wheazes to Ginevra Molly Weasley, because I know that she will keep the shop in capable hands. Won't you, Ginny?
Now to burying me and stuff. First of all, my coffin better be awesome, and make sure I'm buried in a nametag that says "George" so that even in death Mum will not be able to tell us apart. I want a fifteen minute wake in which you all talk as quickly as possible about how amazing and terrific I was and how much you'll miss me. Then I want you to throw a giant party in my honor. Let the firewhiskey flow, my friends!
And mourning and stuff…. Yeah, I want you guys to miss me, but seriously move on with your lives. Remember me and all, but don't worry if you forget me sometimes because you all will at one point or another, but don't wallow or mope. Celebrate that it happened, don't cry because it's over. "It," is my life, by the way.
To George- I solemnly COMMAND you to use my death to pick up girls.
"You know, I used to have a twin… but he died. I'm still pretty broken up about it." I know for a fact that it works, because I used it a few times while I was alive… apologies.
To Mum and Dad- Thank you for everything you did for me while I was alive. Now that I'm gone, I want you to know that I love you. So much.
And to Ginny, Ron, Percy, Bill, George, and Charlie- you guys are the best friends I ever had. Mention me at your weddings, when you make new friends, and during arrest.
To Harry Potter- Thank you so much for the WWW startup. Thankyou for everything else, too. Treat Ginny right.
To Hermione Granger- RON LOVES HERMIONE RON LOVES HERMIONE…. Sorry, Mates, It had to be put in writing somewhere.
To Nymphadora Tonks- I'm sorry I died before you could tell me how you feel about me…
Well, and I mean this literally, I'll see you on the flipside. Have fun living!