Summary: Months after barely surviving her final performance, a crippled and depressed Blind Mag finally emerges from her room in the Wallace residence to try to thank her goddaughter for helping her.
Disclaimer: I do not own Repo! The Genetic Opera, unless we're talking about a copy of the DVD or the soundtrack.
Author's Notes: Yeah, it's a PWP. Well, kinda. It was going to be a PWP, so definitely not my thing to write, but then I realized how much backstory and emotional investment I could put into this story and that made me want to finish it. (Don't look at me like that.)
"What do you think of this one, Mag?"
"It looks lovely on you." Mag smiled approvingly as Shilo twirled, the glittery silver dress sparkling in the changing light. "Maybe a little on the big side."
Mag had to turn her head to the side to get the best view of her goddaughter; there were blank patches in her vision now. Of course, she was lucky she had eyes at all. After tearing out her own eyes and being dropped onto the prop fence, not only had she barely survived, but her eye sockets were irreparably damaged. She was still fuzzy on the details after that; Rotti Largo had somehow handed off GeneCo to Shilo, who had then spared no expense to try to get Mag put back together. Mag was covered in surgical scars now, and couldn't walk without limping badly. Ordinarily after such damage had been done to a person's eye sockets, GeneCo would refuse trying another transplant, but Shilo had insisted. So the pair they had used for Mag was faulty, and sometimes colored spots danced across her field of vision and gave her headaches. Also, some of her nerves had been so destroyed, she always saw blurry or black areas in certain places.
Mag had raged silently against her fate at first, to be crippled and half-blind and stricken with migraines after she had made peace with her death. Shilo had signed away almost all of GeneCo, dividing the company up so it was no longer its own superpower (who had advised her to do that?) and brought Mag home. Mag stayed in Nathan's old room, sleeping eighteen hours at a time, only emerging when she thought to eat or bathe, and neither happened particularly often. She had no idea how long she had been living like that when Shilo crawled into her bed one night, clinging to her and weeping because she had nobody else. Mag had allowed this for a while before starting to return her goddaughter's embraces and realizing that she had forgotten how comforting the warmth of a friend's body could be. After that, Mag was the one who would reach out in the night to whisper "Shi, hold me", and she had started leaving her room to seek out Shilo's arms. There was that one awkward night when Mag could have sworn she felt Shilo kiss her—a real kiss, sweet and deep—but Shilo had acted like nothing had happened the following morning, so Mag had concluded it was a dream.
So after being a leech for months, staying in the house of an orphaned young girl, Mag was making a pathetic attempt at thanking Shilo for putting up with her; Shilo had always admired Mag's flashy wardrobe, so they had retrieved all of Mag's old clothes and now Mag was allowing Shilo to try on whatever she wanted. Also, sometimes Shilo wanted to see a particular dress on Mag, so now she was wearing a royal blue dress styled after a Chinese cheongsam and pattered with tiny silver dragons.
"Here, let me help you." Mag got up and limped over to the boxes that held the neatly folded skirts, blouses and dresses—or at least they had been neatly folded before Shilo got into them. "I should be able to find something that fits you nicely." In fact, Mag had something in mind. "I should give you some of these…it's not as if I will be using them."
"Oh, Mag, you don't have to."
Mag could see well enough to tell colors apart, even if gradations between similar colors were difficult, so it was easy enough for her to find the dress she was looking for. It was a dark, velvety red halter dress, made of a deceptively flexible material and with crisscrossing ribbons across the low-cut back. It was a style and color that was flattering to many body types, and probably had the best chance out of Mag's dresses to look good on Shilo.
"Oohh, I like it." Shilo took the dress and held it up to herself. "And it might actually fit me!"
Mag smiled gently. "I hope it does."
Shilo stripped off the silver dress and cast it aside. Mag averted her eyes; she had seen Shilo half-undressed before, when she had changed into the silver dress and others earlier. And Mag had made the mistake of looking at her. Shilo's illness had turned out to not be endogenous; her father had poisoned her. That impossible fact aside, Shilo was no longer sick, as she was no longer being given poison…and now that she was healthy, she had grown almost an inch, her thin hips had developed a slight curve, and her old A-cup bras were straining over burgeoning breasts. Despite having slept in Shilo's arms many a time, Mag had never noticed the girl's changing body; she had noticed the hair, as Shilo's illness had made her hair fall out and now there was thick black down covering her scalp. Clothed, Shilo seemed young, innocent, almost sexless. But as soon as she had pulled off her skirt and blouse to try on one of Mag's dresses…Mag had caught herself staring, wondering if her eyes were malfunctioning at her first sight of the tiny girl's womanly beauty.
"That dress can't be worn with a bra," Mag heard herself saying. She nearly winced at the sound of her voice; it was true that the backless dress was not meant to be worn with a bra, but she should have kept quiet for the sake of the girl's privacy. Was she trying to make Shilo show her breasts? Did she want to see the girl's breasts? Mag shuddered, disgusted with herself.
Against her better judgment, Mag instinctively turned toward the sound of her voice and immediately wished she hadn't. Shilo was undressed but for a pair of light pink panties, and her nipples tightened in the cool air of the room. Mag nearly moaned.
"Am I ugly?"
The question startled Mag. "No, of course not! Why would you say that?"
Shilo opened the door to her wardrobe; there was a full-length mirror on the inside. She stood in front of it, examining her near-naked body. "I guess…I just feel so plain compared to you, trying these on and remembering how they looked when you wore them."
"Next to me?" Mag whispered in disbelief. She'd hardly been eating, and between that and her surgeries, she was withered and covered in scars. Although it sounded like Shilo was thinking of how she had looked back when she was the voice of GeneCo. "Shilo, you're lovely."
Shilo blushed lightly and pulled the dark red dress over her head. Mag limped forward a bit to tighten the ribbons on the back of the dress and tie a bow to make them stay. "There you go. I think you should keep this one."
Shilo gaped at herself in the mirror. The dress clung to her body, making the most of her slim curves, pushing up her round little breasts to show a tiny bit of cleavage. "Oh, wow…" Shilo turned, admiring the ribbons crossing her shapely back. "I look…"
"Stunning," Mag finished. "And with your short hair, you look like a supermodel from the early 2000's."
Shilo turned to Mag, beaming. "Okay, now I want to see it on you."
"If you insist." At least that would convince Shilo that the dress rightfully belonged to her; no doubt it would look awful on Mag's wasted body. So Shilo stripped off the red dress—Mag tried in vain to keep her eyes off of the girl—and handed it to Mag, who carefully unzipped and pulled off the Chinese-inspired dress.
"Mag? Why, um…why don't you want to look at me?"
"For your privacy," Mag murmured, praying she wasn't blushing. "Believe me, Shilo, it's not because I…I find you unbeautiful." Quite the opposite…
Mag pulled the red gown over her head as quickly as possible, not daring to look at Shilo, not daring to hope to see admiration in the girl's eyes. Using her flexible shoulders from years of wriggling in and out of complicated costumes, she reached back to adjust the ribbons across the back of the dress. She was smoothing the skirt down over her slim legs when she heard Shilo gasp lightly. "I can't take that dress from you."
Instinct took over and she met Shilo's eyes with a curious expression. "Why?"
Shilo's eyes were wide as one-credit coins. "Look…" She pointed at the mirror.
Mag directed her attention the mirror, turning her head until she got a clear view of herself. The gown did not look nearly as awful on her as she had suspected; she hadn't lost as much weight as she thought, and the dress hugged her curves, accentuating them despite her thinness, subtly teasing the tops of her breasts into view. Unable to believe what she was seeing, Mag turned around, sure that her ugly scars would ruin the effect of the backless dress; she was wrong. The way the ribbons played with her scars was actually rather intriguing to look at.
"You look fantastic," Shilo breathed. "I can't take that dress. It needs to be on you."
Somehow Shilo had gotten closer to Mag. Or maybe Mag had gotten closer to Shilo. Either way, Shilo's hands reached out, trembling, to rest on Mag's hips. Mag gripped Shilo's arms tightly, as if to push them away, but instead she found herself stroking the girl's forearms.
Mag couldn't stand it anymore. She should excuse herself, or politely ask Shilo to leave for a moment. Maybe she could go into the bathroom, stuff a cloth into her mouth so Shilo wouldn't hear her name being screamed in passion and desperation…
"Mag? Are you okay?"
Mag shivered, feeling like a horrible creep. Why was she yearning—no, aching—for this tiny girl, less than half her age and her goddaughter to boot? "Shi…" Her voice was dense with concupiscence and raw emotion. Shilo touched her face gently, as if to comfort her.
Mag couldn't hold herself back any longer. "I'm sorry," she whispered, leaning down to kiss Shilo, still struggling against her instincts, still trying to pull herself back. And then Shilo's lips were on hers, much earlier than could be expected, unless…
…unless Shilo had leaned up to kiss her.
The memory came back in a rush; Shilo had indeed kissed her in the dark of night, and now was kissing her again. The fact that Shilo couldn't possibly want her scarred, ruined body only occurred to her for half a second, and the thought flew from her mind when she felt Shilo's hand trailing down her throat. Suddenly exploring Shilo's mouth wasn't enough. Mag kissed her way down Shilo's jaw and neck, her arms encircling the girl's waist and pulling her nearly unclad body close.
"Mag, is this really happening?" Shilo breathed.
Mag trailed her parted lips up the girl's neck to whisper in her ear. "It feels like a dream. Like when I wasn't sure if you kissed me that night."
"I was too afraid to say anything in the morning," Shilo whispered back.
Mag felt her heart swell and its pace quicken. Words failed her. "Oh, Shi…" She traced the girl's lovely shoulder blades with her fingertips. Shilo began nuzzling her throat, and Mag felt the girl's hands struggling with the ribbons at the back of the dress. "Please don't, little one," Mag murmured. If Shilo wanted her, that meant Mag could give her pleasure out of gratitude, out of kindness, not out of some perverted desire for an innocent teenage girl…and she should stay clothed so Shilo wouldn't have to look at her.
"Why? You're so beautiful…I want to see you…"
"Don't bother me. I want to look at them. I want to kiss them." As Shilo spoke, her fingers undid the ribbons and the tie of the halter at the back of Mag's neck, causing the top half of the dress to fall to Mag's waist.
Mag nipped at Shilo's earlobe, earning a light moan in response. "How long have you wanted this?"
Shilo trembled in Mag's arms. "I don't know. Maybe…maybe since I first kissed you. It was almost an accident, but I just wanted to be closer to you, and the only thing I could think of was kissing you." Shilo gasped as Mag trailed the fingertips of one hand up her thigh. "I didn't know you wanted me." Her voice was so unstable it took a moment for Mag to understand her.
"I have adored you from the moment I saw you, simply because you were my goddaughter. But I didn't realize how gorgeous you were until…until I saw you undressed today. Before that, I had enjoyed holding you at night immensely, but I hadn't…" Mag paused, both of her hands moving to lightly brush against Shilo's breasts. "…I hadn't made any effort to learn how your body has changed since you've gotten well. How beautiful you've become."
Shilo tilted her head back, lips parted, eyes closed. "Ohh, Mag…don't tease…"
Mag stroked the pads of her thumbs over the girl's nipples, feeling them grow firm under her touch, shivering as a fractured gasp escaped from Shilo's lips. "I won't. I'll worship every inch of you." She gripped the girl's hand and pulled her to the bed, struggling not to fall over from her pronounced limp. Shilo knew Mag had trouble moving, so she helped Mag onto the mattress. The moment Shilo managed to lie comfortably on her back, Mag leaned over to fasten her lips to one of Shilo's nipples and suckle hungrily. Shilo screamed sharply, clutching Mag's shoulders. "Yes! More!"
Mag kneaded the girl's other breast with one hand, pressing one knee against the junction of Shilo's legs. The girl writhed against the pressure, whimpering helplessly. "Ahhh, Mag, you're amazing…please…please…" Shilo whined, unable to finish her sentence.
"Do you want it?" Mag breathed, her voice husky. "May I worship you?" At last, she'd be able to repay Shilo for getting her new eyes, for housing her, for feeding her, for holding her through the night.
"Yes." Shilo's voice was a raw groan. "My heart's racing…I can't…"
"Is it the poison?" Mag asked tenderly. "Are you losing consciousness?"
"I'll be fine," Shilo panted. "It's just strange…to feel like this, and not…not pass out…"
"Are you afraid?" Mag kissed the girl's forehead.
"A little." Shilo looked up at Mag, her eyes pleading.
An idea came to Mag suddenly. It would put her in a role that was uncomfortable for her, but she was doing this for Shilo. She lay down, resting her center of gravity on Shilo's hips, caressing the girl's throat with both hands. "Are you still afraid of not being able to breathe?"
Shilo's eyes widened in mingled fear and excitement. "Mag, are you…?"
"I can help you be less afraid. To associate lack of air with pleasure, not sickness." She brushed her thumbs over the girl's windpipe. "Would you like to try?" she asked almost shyly.
"Please," Shilo breathed. "Please, Mag."
"All right." Mag pecked her a kiss. "Squeeze my shoulder three times if you want me to stop."
It almost killed Mag to press her fingers onto the girl's throat, tenderly crushing her column of air. She was comfortable receiving things like this, not doing them. She nearly pulled her hands away when Shilo choked lightly, but held on as she felt the girl's entire body begin to relax, an expression of utter peace coming to her face. Her grip on Mag's shoulders loosened. A few more moments, and Mag slowly eased the pressure on Shilo's delicate neck.
Shilo gasped deeply, letting air flood into her lungs. She gazed up at Mag gratefully, the pupils of her eyes seeming to quiver. "Thank you."
Mag almost cried out in relief; she'd been terrified she would hurt Shilo, particularly because her only experiences with breath play had come from Amber, who had no use for sanity or safety and probably did not know the concept of consent existed. Mag pushed the awful memories away and bent to kiss the red marks on Shilo's neck where there would be bruises later.
"Will you kiss my breasts again?" Shilo whispered. "And this time…maybe squeeze my throat while you do that?"
Mag nodded and did as Shilo requested, suckling roughly at the tip of one of Shilo's breasts, one hand at the other breast, the other at Shilo's windpipe. She listened carefully to Shilo's shallow breaths, felt Shilo's body begin to rise and writhe agreeably against her. "Mag…" The girl's voice was faint. "Take me…"
Mag instantly took her hand away from Shilo's throat and left a quick trail of kisses down the center of the girl's flat stomach, swiftly yanking the little pink panties down, and burying her face in between Shilo's legs, moaning as she nuzzled and kissed the tender flesh. She continued cradling and kneading the girl's breasts, thrilling as she earned frantic gasps and moans in response. Mag slid her tongue into the girl, its tip seeking out the places that would drive Shilo wild; after a few short moments of searching, Mag was rewarded with a cry of "Right there! Yes!" At the sound of the girl's voice, a surge of pure lust shot through Mag and she felt the warm ache between her legs begin to throb, but she ignored it.
Shilo's body flailed, forcing Mag to take hold of her hips and hold her steady so she could continue her task. On the cusp of climax, Shilo gasped out, "Almost there…ohh, Mag, please, please, more…" At that moment, Mag retracted her tongue and suckled fiercely at the little pearl of sensitive flesh at the top of the girl's entrance. Shrieking her lover's name over and over, Shilo came, long contractions rocking her body almost violently. Caressing Shilo's hips with both hands, Mag lightly stroked her tongue over the girl's inner thighs and soft folds, cleaning up the evidence of her orgasm.
"Mag…you don't have to…"
"I want to."
Mag sat up, licking her lips. Shilo held her arms out to Mag, who lay down and wrapped the girl in a warm embrace. "Did I please you?"
Shilo laughed. "Do you have to ask?" Her smile faded slightly. "Wait, what about you?"
Of course, Shilo could feel Mag trembling with arousal, and the warm dampness inside her was throbbing so insistently it was almost agonizing. Mag opened her mouth to speak, to tell Shilo that no, it was Mag's place to serve Shilo and not receive anything in return, but her body was screaming for the girl's touch, and the sound that fled her lips was a desperate moan.
Shilo took hold of the dress still clinging to Mag's hips and pulled, sliding the pretty gown from the woman's body. She sighed lightly. "Oh, Mag, you're so lovely."
"Shi…" Mag wasn't sure if she was begging Shilo to stop or continue.
Shilo leaned over her, covering her chest with kisses, her lips softly touching the awful scars left by Amber's teeth and Luigi's knife. Mag gripped the girl's upper arms and clung like a drowning man to a rope, her hips bucking helplessly as Shilo took the tip of one of her breasts into her mouth.
It was at that moment that Mag knew she had failed at being Shilo's willing, grateful servant. She wasn't supposed to be taking any pleasure other than knowing she had served the sweet girl well, but it was too late now. "Shilo, touch me!"
Mag half-hoped the girl would make her beg more, but instead, the girl's hand slipped underneath Mag's panties to explore her most intimate places. The second Shilo's fingertips moved into her, Mag felt the long, rocking spasms overtake her, low cries of ecstasy escaping her throat. Shilo, not seeming to realize that Mag had just climaxed, continued her caresses, firmly running the pad of one thumb over the little nub that made Mag immediately start whimpering softly again. Another stroke, two, three, and Mag was drowning in exquisite pleasure once more, breathlessly screaming for Shilo as she peaked a second time.
Shilo lay down next to her and kissed her cheek. "There you go," she said kindly.
Mag's eyes were closed, silent tears seeping out from beneath them; her tear ducts had been left intact. Shilo noticed.
"Mag? What's wrong?" Shilo wrapped her arms around the former singer and kissed her shoulder. "I didn't hurt you, did I? I'm sorry, I'm new at this…"
"No, Shi, you were wonderful," Mag whispered. "Which is why I'm crying."
Shilo's brow furrowed. "I don't understand."
"I wanted to thank you for taking care of me. For putting up with me, even though I've been hibernating in your house for months without you asking anything in return. And instead…" Mag covered her mouth to stifle a loud sob. "I slept with my goddaughter. A seventeen-year-old girl. Instead of serving you, I took advantage of you."
"I'm eighteen now," said Shilo softly. "I'm old enough to consent. And you didn't take advantage of me. I've…I've been hoping for this. I wanted you. So badly." Shilo nuzzled Mag's shoulder again, leaving tiny kisses.
"I'm still…wait…what month is it?"
"I've had a birthday." Mag had no idea what to think about that. Her birthdays hadn't been cause for celebration since she was nineteen. "I'm thirty-seven now. And that makes me still far too old for you."
"I really don't care how old you are." Shilo sat up to kiss Mag's cheek. "I think you're fantastic."
Mag's sobs redoubled. "Fantastic. A hollow shell who lost herself after being used by GeneCo for years, then inhabits your house like a crippled, half-blind parasite for months. Fantastic."
"You were so kind…just now. I could tell you really cared about me, and that you wanted to…to please me. And you let me try on your dresses, and you never once complained or even asked me not to when I needed to come to you at night because I was lonely. And…and of course, you're a wonderful singer. I've always loved your music." Shilo paused. "I've been listening to your music a lot lately. I think I've started to be able to tell when your heart was really in a song, and when you were just singing for GeneCo."
Mag met Shilo's eyes. "Really?"
Shilo kissed Mag's lips softly. "Yes. For example…'Attesa.' I love that song. It sounds like you mean it. And 'Once in a Lifetime', you sound like you enjoy singing that. But I never liked 'Ven Conmigo', even though it was a big single…and now I think it's because you don't sound into it, particularly when you sang it live."
Mag groaned. "Augh, 'Ven Conmigo.' A cookie-cutter, banal, uninspired song if there ever was one. I hated singing that. It didn't even sound like a love song should sound, so…self-centered and uncaring. And using a romance language Spanish doesn't justify empty, florid hyperbole."
Shilo laughed. "I never understood the Spanish."
"It is painfully flowery, and so…sappy, like an incredibly idealistic twelve-year-old imagining what love might be like."
"I think…I think I've figured out what love is like," said Shilo diffidently. "As long as we're talking about sappy."
"Shilo, what are you saying?"
"I'm falling in love with you. I might have already fallen in love with you, actually." Shilo was blushing furiously.
Mag couldn't help but feel touched. She gathered the girl into her arms. "You're so sweet, Shi."
"Do you…do you feel the same?" Shilo whispered.
Mag kissed Shilo's forehead tenderly. "I don't know, my little one. I don't know how…how capable of love I am after what GeneCo did to me. But I can say I care for you deeply. I…I very much enjoyed what just happened between us, even if I feel guilty."
"Please don't feel guilty. You were amazing."
It was Mag's turn to blush. "I'm glad I could please you. Was I…was I your first?"
"Yes. And I'm so glad it was you. Somebody I could trust to be gentle, and kind. Especially after all I've heard is that a girl's first time hurts, or is just not pleasant."
Mag dropped another kiss on Shilo's forehead. "Well, that's really if you're with a man, and if he doesn't know what he's doing."
"But you're a woman, and you made me feel…amazing. I'm sorry, I can't think of another word."
"You were amazing too, little one."
"Oh, I barely had to touch you…next time we do this, can I maybe start? Maybe I can, you know, explore you a little more? I really don't care about your scars." Shilo paused. "There…will be a next time, right?"
Mag gave Shilo a gentle squeeze. "Definitely."
Shilo gave a girlish squeal of delight.
"Perhaps in the morning tomorrow?"
"Yes. Oh, yes. But about your scars…can you lie on your stomach for a little while?"
Mag was a bit puzzled, but she acquiesced. Almost immediately, she felt the girl's soft lips tracing the marks on her back made by scalpels and spikes, and remembered Shilo saying she had thought about kissing Mag's scars. Mag sighed as Shilo planted several sweet kisses on the center of the mark that Mag thought looked like a white spider embedded in her skin; that was where a barb from the fence had entered her body, skewering one of her kidneys.
"It looks like a sunburst." Shilo paused to trace the thin protrusions emanating from the slightly raised circle of scar tissue.
A sunburst. Mag liked that. "You really are sweet."
"I try," Shilo murmured. "After Dad died, I was just angry. I threw a bunch of tantrums and broke some stuff, actually. But I don't want to be like that with you."
A smile curled the corners of Mag's lips. "Don't worry, my darling. I would forgive you if you were."
"Do you think this will work, Mag?" Shilo whispered.
Deep in the cavity of Mag's chest, she felt a spark of hope begin to swell, a feeling she hadn't experienced in years. "I can't say for sure, Shi. But I'm certain it's worth a try."
A/N: I thought the utter lack of reviews of the final chapter of my last fic, Something Real to Cling To, had killed my Repo muses. (*cough cough* PLEASE REVIEW *cough*) But then I got this. Maybe I just can't write full-length Repo fics now? Eh, I don't know.