A/N: I just finished Pokemon Black. I feel kinda sad how it ended but I still love it. I felt like I had to write something to give it justice, in my own little way.
How mysterious the heart is.
That was one thought she always, and always kept in her mind. Somehow, she didn't know if it comforted her to think that whatever she felt, it wasn't just something she could control. Because if it was, she wouldn't have created emotions among people that wouldn't fit – that would cause pain, just because of difference in ideals and opinions. Touko sighed to herself. That was a lie. She knew, and that was what pained her, that even if she could control her heart's raging and conflicting emotions, she'd still choose to love him – N. He was like a child that made her want to give all her love to him. That in itself was just a part of him because despite most of what other people would say, she knew there was a man more gallant and strong in him than any other one – that of whom demonstrated his ideals and power and made things happen. A child could dream but a man pursues.
She stood up and watched as her Emboar played hesitantly with Gothitelle and Krookodile. Lilligant was not far from her, dancing with petals. There were Tranquill and Reshiram sleeping, a much deserved rest after the flight. Honestly, Touko wasn't sure where they were but it seemed like a serene place, this grassy meadow, alone and well, that was what she needed at the moment. A moment of silence and peace – just her and her pokemon but no single human soul near. It was weird, but she guessed that was how N felt. Oh, N, she looked up to the sky and promptly sat down again and crossed her legs.
Closing her eyes, she tried to meditate. She really didn't know the details of doing it right but she supposed it started with closing the eyes and thinking? No, clearing her mind. She supposed and with only those leads, she tried to clear her mind but the thoughts kept coming back. Heart, heart, heart. It kept chanting in her head, almost making her say out loud, "Yes, I have a heart, heart, heart!"
A shadow loomed, making her already shady sight darker. Opening her eyes, she saw Emboar looking at her worriedly and picked her up. "Whoa!" she giggled, loving the height and the feeling of airborne. "Aw, look at you. You were such a smaaaaall"—she stretched her hands and drew them back to gesture to foot wide—"like that when you were just a Tepig. So cute! Look… at… you," she said tapping Emboar's noise every word. "You make me proud. You're bigger than me! And so amazing and strong and cool and still dashing!" she giggled again, and the other pokemon made their gleeful sound. "Guys," she turned to her pokemon, making a small sound of oomph, when Emboar placed her on his shoulder. "I love you," her voice was sincere and it was the most sincere she ever felt in her life. "I wouldn't have been able to make it here without you guys. And I'm really happy you've been with me all throughout our journey. Everything that had happened, all the credits I give it to you. All I ever did was to keep us together but even that was a favor I asked of you guys."
The pokemon made a happy sound again and she realized it was laughter and how could she not laugh with them? It's something she was good at – laughing, being happy. And with such amazing companions, it was too easy to be exultant. Touko slid down Emboar and hugged him by the neck a second or two before it helped her down on the grass. She was so absorbed in the blissful atmosphere that she didn't notice the dark pokemon looming above them and a figure landing not so far from them. But her pokemon were sharp. Reshiram woke up instantly but kept quiet, as Zekrom asked it to. They sensed no hostility.
"How jovial your pokemon are with you," a voice said startling Touko. She turned with a twirl, surprised but not threatened. The voice was familiar but the wind made her unsure. "Oh, and I'm so very happy with them—OH!" she replied but was further astounded at the owner of the voice. "N! Wow!"
N could only smile and proceeded to glance at her pokemon. "They all said that you were special. But I already knew that when Reshiram chose you, heroine."
Reshiram howled, startling, this time, N. Then came the sounds of Emboar, Gothitelle, Tranquill, Carracosta, Krookodile, and Lilligant. A few seconds of pause and he laughed slightly. "Reshiram… said he only awoken at the right time but has been itching to do so earlier. He said… you've always been special. Emboar and the others have been protesting. They said you are too. Always."
Touko blushed at the compliments. All her achievements have been credited to her pokemon, that's what she believed in. "No, no, no!" she was reddening further by the minute. "Nooo! They're the special ones, I mean, without them, nothing could be achieved! They're so amazing; I feel so blessed to have them as my companions, my beloved friends!" Then she paused, all eyes on her and she broke out a grin. "I'm just lucky to have them by my side and that we've learned to love and trust one another."
N smiled and nodded, pleased at her words. Without fail, she always said the right words. "Let's take a walk, Touko. Our pokemon can play with each other while then."
Touko grinned and followed him to the forest. The walk was quiet, however, and this silence and distraction-less state (save for the fact N was there, but it was so very quiet) that her thoughts earlier penetrated her mind once more. Heart, heart… hear. And she didn't want to deal with that at the moment, making her break the ice. "So, N, I didn't expect to see you here." It was a bad starter but hey, it's going somewhere.
"I expected you to be, however."
This was a big surprise. "What? Really?" N chuckled. He thought himself to be naïve, but this girl was innocent. He stopped walking in the middle of the forest, with no sight to behold. Just a lot of grass and a few bug pokemon that stayed clear out of their way. "Are you psychic?" she asked as soon as she halted. "Cause that would explain why you can talk to pokemon, you know." She was giddy; if it was, it was definitely a wow. He chuckled in response. "No, I'm not," he replied. Oh, well. So much for that, she thought. He was just gifted, she determined.
"I was following you," he continued.
"You were stalking me?" she said too happily before she could stop herself, and as soon as she realized what her words entailed, Touko slapped her hands on her mouth, as if it would undo her words. "I mean, really?"
N just smiled. He loved her cheery atmosphere and he wasn't one to lie. "Yes."
"Uhm, just to be clear…"
"Yes, I was stalking you."
"Oh," a brief moment of silence. "Oh, well. I thought it would be awkward but I feel kind of happy."
Heart, heart, heart.
Silence consumed them.
"Before I knew it, I was following you," he said. "I was searching for you. Leads. Your movement. It's been a while. Only now did I have the courage to confront you personally. I never really understood why."
"No ideas?" she asked. Her heart raced as fast as her mind did, trying to rationalize his words. Besides, confront? Did she do something bad? But he was all compliments and smiles earlier. Surely, she didn't do anything of offense? She was pretty sure the Team Plasma incident was already at the back of their heads.
"Care to share?"
"Wait, what?" she was really confused now. The pounding in her heart was too much for her mind that it stopped thinking.
"It's weird… You're everything I've been thinking about. Whenever I look into my heart, it's always you I hear. It's you I feel."
Touko found herself smiling, more than surprised and N saw this, fueling his courage. "And I've sorted it out. The way I feel for my pokemon, other people, my mother figures… you're—what I feel for you is different. And when I inquired upon it, I've gained a lot of various responses but one only really made sense. I loved you," at this her heart skipped a beat. "But there are so many kinds of it."
He smiled. N was calm now. Touko felt breathless. "But I'm sure of what kind of love it is. It's one of a kind. And I've only felt it for you. I may be naïve and have so much of the world I need to understand, but I cannot deny the fact that I love you, Touko." He was sure she'd understand.
He was confessing and Touko understood. His feelings were so strong she couldn't find space to see it to misinterpret. Touko daydreamed about this. But she always saw him as shy, unsure of what to say and that she'll have to help him with it. But here he was… so confident of himself, of what he felt and what he wanted to convey.
"I…" she looked at him, tears threatening to spill but she laughed, her heart full of glee. "Oh, gosh. N, I love you so much. So, so much," her voice ended a whisper but the silence carried her soft words to him. And she felt a pair of arms engulf her. "I… I don't know what to do exactly, how I should work this out. But I will do my best, Touko. I… I… I will, I promise. I'll… learn, I'll understand and I…. won't let you down. I'll make mistakes, I can't promise you perfection but…" his words lingered, as Touko hugged back, tighter. "I dreamed of this so much," N spoke again. "But if I was able to pursue my dream before, how I could I just not pursue you?"
He was so confident and now so nervous. The heart worked in mysterious ways, she decided. He was a child that dreamed, but he was a man that pursued. And that duality that Ghetsis may have called warped was what made him actually firm and whole.
Touko decided then that the heart didn't need to be controlled because it knew exactly what it was doing. And it was perfect.
I haven't written a thing for years and with great disappointment, I tell you that I didn't proofread it. There we go before I lose this file with the hundreds I've written without completing.