Hello there! Alright, so it's currently 2:37 AM where I am, and I have to wake up in a little less than 4 hours, so I'm going to try to keep this short and sweet. Kind of. We all know I don't do short and sweet.
Anyway, this is angsty. I'm telling you that right now. I literally had tears streaming out of my eyes the entire time I was writing it. I hope that means I was getting the emotion right... but it could just mean I'm pathetic.

I've never personally read anything like this so I hope it's at least somewhat interesting...

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. I only own my mistakes, and since it's now 2:40 in the morning and I haven't read over this (and my "a" button kept sticking), I'm sure there are quite a few of them.


"Dad, you're being ridiculous."

"Hey, don't talk to me like that, young lady."

Katherine Beckett and her father were sitting at a resturant on a Saturday night, stuck in a seemingly never-ending staring contest. Kate was trying to get her father to let her bail on dinner and go to a friend's house to "watch movies." Jim Beckett wasn't stupid, and he knew that there was probably a party at said friend's house, but he wasn't going to allow it.

"Katie, you know Saturday nights are our family dinners."

"Dad, I'm almost 21! When are you finally going to let me grow up?"

"After dinner," he replied calmly.

"It's one Saturday, dad! It's not a big deal."

"Well, we'll let your mother decide that when she gets here."

Jim and Kate had been sitting in the resturant for a little over an hour, waiting for Johanna Beckett to show up. She had called home a couple of hours before and told them that she was a little wrapped up in a case at work, and she would meet them at their usual Saturday night eatery at around 7 that evening.

It was currently 7:45, and Johanna still hadn't shown up.

But it wasn't like that was out of the ordinary. There were many a night when Johanna said she would be at dinner and then get so wrapped up in one of her cases that she would look up at the clock only to realize that it was midnight.

Realizing that she might have just lost track of time, Jim and Kate were sitting at their usual booth at their usual resturant with an extra table setting sitting in what would normally be Johanna's usual seat. They had taken the liberty of ordering for her so that when she showed up, she would be able to just sit down and eat.

Except it was now 8:30, her food was getting cold, and Johanna still wasn't there.

Jim sighed and told Kate that if her mother didn't show up within the next 15 minutes, she was free to go to her friend's house, even though he heavily hinted that her mother would be disappointed. He saw Kate's eyes soften and knew that he had won. Johanna and Kate were so close, and while their daughter certainly wasn't an angel, she still hated to disappoint her mother.

Before they knew it, 8:45 had rolled around and Johanna still hadn't shown up. Jim paid the bill and asked that the waiter box up his wife's meal so she could eat when she got home. If she had gotten so wrapped up in a case that she couldn't call to let them know, then she certainly hadn't moved to get something to eat. The food came back and they put on their coats and headed out into the cold night. The pavement was glowing slightly under the streetlights outside the resturant, a product of the recently melted snow. Jim quickly walked out into the street and hailed a passing cab. Even though the resturant wasn't very far away from where they lived, he didn't want his daughter walking home in the cold. He wasn't going to have his wife blaming him for her baby getting sick.

They nestled into the back seat of the warm cab, and started to head for home.

They made it home in almost no time at all. Jim saw Kate get out of the cab and begin to head for their front door while Jim paid the cab driver, ignoring the annoyed look the shabby man sent him at the short length of the cab ride. As the cab driver sped away into the dark night, Jim burrowed inside of his collar to try and keep out some of the bitter wind. It seemed particularly cold that night. He turned around and saw that Kate was looking at him, a questioning, almost frightened look in her eye. He looked at her, silently asking her what was wrong, when he saw her eyes shift to a dark blue car parked on the street in front of their building that he hadn't noticed before. He then glanced up at their doorstep, seeing the man who was waiting by their door. Jim then looked back at Kate, briefly considering calling the police, but before he could act on the impulse, the man in who had been standing on their front steps began to make his way over to them.

"James and Katherine Beckett?" The man said.

Jim subconsciously shifted so his body partially blocked his daughter from the man who was now standing in front of them. He stood up a little straighter and Kate watched on, her stomach tightening with every passing second.

Jim nodded once, "Yes?"

The man in front of them took a slight breath. "Mr. Beckett, I'm Detective John Raglan. I'm here regarding a murder that took place earlier this evening."

Kate spoke then, her voice shaking, "Whose?"

The look the detective shot her before he responded answered her was all the verification she needed. Her eyes immediately filled with tears.

"No..." she breathed. She shook her head, "No, it can't be..."

Detective Raglan interrupted her, "I'm going to ask that you two come with me."

The detective began to herd them over to the blue car, gesturing that they should get into the back as he walked around to the driver's side. Jim stared unblinkingly ahead of him, unwilling to believe that this was actually happening. As they slid into the back seat of the car, he unconsciously reached out and grabbed his daughter's hand.

She was shaking.

As the cold car started moving, Jim looked out the windows of the back seat to where they were being headed. The buildings started to look less and less like home as they turned down the unusually empty city streets. If Jim was right, it looked as if they were headed to the Lower West Side of the city.

A few minutes passed and the car slowly came to a stop. Looking outside, Jim and Kate saw flashing blue and red lights of the NYPD cruisers surrounding the scene. A little farther off, Jim saw the medical examiner's van, the back of it open while the medical examiner was getting his supplies out of the back.

Now it was his turn to shake.

They watched Detective Raglan get out of the car and stand by the back bumper of the car, waiting for them to get out. Jim and Kate climbed out slowly, trying to avoid the inevitable. Detective Raglan began to walk over towards an alley that had been blocked off with yellow caution tape. He held the tape up as Kate and Jim walked under it. They both looked around the alley.

The place was covered in trash. There were black trash bags lined up against the sides of the alley. Broken glass littered the ground around their feet, the smell positively revolting. Looking down further, they could make out what looked to be two uniformed police officers and another man dressed in normal, everyday clothes. They assumed he was another detective. Raglan began to make his way over to the group of men. Jim and Kate walked slowly behind them, still desperately clutching at each others hand.

As they walked, Jim looked past the group of men and could make out the shadow of a body laying on the ground. He closed his eyes. His heart sunk lower in his chest. Oh god, he thought, please let this be a mistake.

He heard a broken sob escape from his daughter and he knew that his wife was gone.

Jim opened his eyes and looked back towards the group of men and saw that Raglan had reached them and they had separated, giving Jim and Kate a clear view of the body that was laying on the ground.

There was so much blood.

Kate had taken one look at her mother's body and any semblance of self control completely shattered. While her father stood next to her, fighting to keep it together, the tears that had formed in her eyes spilled over as she shook her head from side to side.

"No," she choked out, "no, no, no, no, no..."

Jim pulled his daughter into his arms and held her there while she continued to cry. Kate vaguely heard her father ask what had happened.

But nothing could drown out the heart-breaking onslaught of realizations that were racing through her mind.

Her mom was gone.

Her best friend was gone.

There would be no more Saturday night family dinners at their usual place. No more late night movie marathons. Her mother wouldn't be there to watch her graduate from college. She wouldn't be there to help her pick out a wedding dress, or help her get ready. She'd never see her grand-kids.

They wouldn't go out to lunch when she was older. She wouldn't get to call her whenever she just needed motherly advice.

Kate would never get to hug her again. She'd never get to hear her voice again. She'd never see her smile again.

Her mom was gone. And she was never going to come back.

Jim listened to the detective in silence, holding his only daughter upright and never tearing his eyes away from the body of his wife. She looked so out of place in her plaid skirt and blazer. Even in death she was as beautiful as the first day he met her. He held back his tears. He vaguely heard Detective Raglan say something about multiple stab wounds and suspected gang violence but he was lost in his memories.

The first time he saw Johanna flashed through his mind. Then their first date; Their second date; Asking her to marry him; Getting married; Finding out she was pregnant; Having Kate; Holding her hand as they sat at the kitchen table together; Reading next to each other in bed.

There would be no more of that. His memories were all he had now.

He hugged his daughter tighter to his chest.

Something seemed to snap inside of Kate. As she looked up from her father's chest, she turned back towards the body of her mother. Her sobs turned into screams.

"NO!" She cried. She thrashed against her father's arms, trying to break away. But he wouldn't let go of her.

"MOM!" Kate continued to fight against her, the officers looking at her with eyes full of pity. She screamed louder, positive that the sound could break glass.

"PLEASE!" Her voice shattered on her plea, and she began to sob again. Her knees buckled beneath her and Jim had to catch her before she hit the ground. "Please..." she sobbed.

Jim knew exactly what she was begging for; That this was just a dream; A horrible nightmare that was going to end any second. She was pleading for none of this to be real. That they would go home and Johanna would be sleeping in the oversized armchair in the living room still in her work clothes because she was just too tired to make it up to bed.

But as he watched the medical examiner begin to walk over, a bag of supplies in one hand and a body bag in the other, he knew that this was real.

The nightmare had only just begun.

Raglan proceeded to ask him a few questions about his wife and his whereabouts at the time of the murder and Jim resisted the urge to punch the man in the face by comforting his daughter instead. Eventually, the other plain clothed detective walked over and handed Jim a small brown bag. He looked inside and saw some of his wife's personal items; a watch that he had given her for her birthday last year, a necklace that had belonged to her mother, and her wedding ring.

As the medical examiner prepared to put Johanna's body in the large black bag by his side, Detective Raglan moved Jim and Kate out of the alley and offered to take them home, claiming that it was much too cold and much too late to try and catch a cab. Jim numbly led Kate back to the dark blue car and slid her inside. Her sobbing had stopped, but the tears would not stop falling from her eyes. He moved in next to her and put his arm around her shoulder.

Kate leaned against her father and let out a shaky breath.

Jim sighed as well, finally letting some of his tears spill over into his daughter's hair.

He could really use a drink right now.


So there you have it. My interpretation of the worst night of their lives. The night their world stopped spinning.

Also, in Sucker Punch, Beckett says that it's been 10 years since she crossed the yellow tape that night, and I think for the first time it clicked that they actually took the victims family to the crime scene... I don't think that's protocol...

As always, Love it? Hate it? Let me know what you think!