Summary: Angel realizes the hard way on how much his son really needs him.

Author's Note: AU story- Angel never got sent to a watery grave and Connor just ran off on his own after Holtz died and he found out for himself that Holtz had himself killed. I never really liked how Angel kicked out his troubled son before...Also Cordelia never went to the higher plane either...

Warning- There will be spanking of a teenager in some chapters...Don't like...Don't read... Thanks!


Chapter One

It was a hot summer afternoon in Los Angeles as Connor Angel sat on a pier on the beach with his legs dangling off the edge; he soaked up the rays as he gazed out onto the ocean in deep thought. It had been almost a week now since Holtz killed himself and the memory was still fresh in his head. That day he planned on visiting Holtz as a surprise and he ended up being the one surprised outside the raggedy motel, he heard clearly how Holtz convinced Justine to stab him on his neck just for it to look like it was a vampire, well one vampire in particular, Angel. Connor just couldn't get how the man that had raised him was not the man he thought he was, sure he didn't always treat Connor as nice as Angel had treated him from the get go. Holtz kept Connor alive and taught him how to survive and he was grateful for that. Now Connor felt alone and it was his choice to be alone, Angel had repeatedly invited him to stay at the Hyperion but Connor refused, he still had a raw hate for all demons and that included his very own father. Angel really confused the hell out of Connor; he was not at all what he thought he would be so it made the all the hate he once felt so strongly not feel as strong anymore.

Connor's stomach rumbled repeatedly in hunger as he sat at the pier, he decided to go in search of food, he eyed a little boy carrying a hot dog and biting down into eat.

"Daddy it tastes funny, I don't want it." The little boy told his father who was walking by his side holding his free hand.

"I thought you said you were starving, give me it." The father took the hot dog and wrapped it in a napkin before trashing it.

Connor saw the man throw out the hot dog and wondered why people in this world would discard food so easily.

Connor crept to pick up the discarded food, as he went to dig his hand in a high pitched voice stopped him.

"Eww that's just nasty!"

Connor looked up and was face to face with a girl that looked to be around his age, she has long red hair, pale skin and bright green eyes, he found himself becoming more attracted to her the more he stared, she wore a shiny blue string bikini top that left nothing to the imagination and a really short white terry cloth skirt.

The girl smiled at Connor's stupefied expression. "Hi I'm Amber...And you are?"

Connor straightened himself upright. "Connor."

"I don't usually do this Connor but I'm going to buy you lunch, you look like you really need it come with me."

Amber took a hold of Connor's arm and practically dragged him off to a hot dog stand that was close by. She ordered a couple of hot dogs and then they sat on a bench and ate. Connor was starving, he was grateful that this girl was being so nice to him.

"Thank you." Connor shying acknowledged.

"No prob, I know how hard it is to live out on the streets...I was living on the streets a few months ago until I met Marty...How long have you been living out on the streets?"

"Not long...I'm kind of new here."

"Well Connor how would you like to make easy money?"

"How?" Connor asked interested.

"Well... I'll just show you, wait here...Watch and learn."

Amber rose up from the bench and walked down the sidewalk and bumped into a couple of tourists then returned to where Connor was seated.

Amber lifted her skirt a bit and showed Connor a tight garter she wore around her thigh that was filled with money.

"I just scored a few bucks back there...but at night that's when you can make the big bucks."

"You stole?"

"I simply got what I needed...You either get it yourself or stay hungry so I chose to go get it and Marty taught me most of what I know. I'm still not as good as him but I'm getting there, if you're up to it I'll introduce you to Marty and maybe he could help you too."

Connor felt so conflicted, he had felt so alone just moments before and now this beautiful girl wanted to help him, he decided to take her up on her offer.

Amber took Connor to meet Marty in an old abandoned warehouse, it was their current residence.

Amber led Connor to the second floor of the warehouse and they found Marty counting small green pills.

"You actually got the X!" Amber exclaimed.

"Yeah we are gonna make some good money with these, but first I want to try them out tonight...who's your little friend?"

"Oh Marty this is Connor...I found him digging through garbage earlier...He's homeless and I was thinking maybe we could help him get on his feet."

"Sure, he could be a big help for us..." Marty then glanced at Connor. "Have you ever tried X before?"

"No...What is that?"

"It's the best shit you will ever try."

"Yes Connor! You gotta try it."

Amber and Marty spent the rest of the day till night teaching Connor the best way to pick someone's pocket and where and how to sell ecstasy pills, they planned on going to a rave that night and were planning on trying out the pills then.

There was not a day that went by that Angel did not think or worry about Connor. It killed him that his son was out living on the streets but he didn't want to force him to come live with him, he wanted his son to grow to trust him enough to come on his own. He tried to reach out to his kid every chance he got but Connor wanted nothing to do with him at the moment and that had hit Angel very deep. All Angel was able to do was keep a watchful eye every night on his son, he found Connor staying in a rundown abandoned motel, he wanted nothing more than to drag his son out of there but he thought stubbornly that was no way to build a relationship with his son.

Angel sat in his office at his desk reviewing a file on a current case they were working on but the thoughts of his son did not escape his mind.

"Vision!" Cordelia screeched.

Angel rushed out of his office and was by Cordelia's side in no time and Gunn and Fred and even Lorne gathered close.

"A party...Lots of kids...loud music...Big hairy demon killing...It's in an underground club called... Ortex by... sunset drive." Cordelia recovered from the vision then looked directly at Angel with a horrified expression. "I saw Connor there! And he didn't look too good...Angel you better hurry."

Angel and Gunn went to the weapons cabinet and geared up then were out the door on their way to the rave ready to kick some demon ass.

Angel anxiety level increased profusely with the knowledge that his son would be in danger.

Connor felt good better than good as he walked down the street with Amber looking absolutely gorgeous in a tight black dress and Marty was nice enough to loan him a red button down dress shirt.

The trio arrived at an underground club, where the rave was going to take place. Marty had his supply ready in his front leather brown jacket.

Marty led Connor and Amber to the bar area in the club and ordered each of them a drink.

Marty then handed both Amber and Connor a small green pill.

"Let the party begin!" Marty laughed as he popped his pill into his mouth then soon after Amber did the same.

Connor watched how carelessly Marty and Amber gulped their pills down, it kind of made him feel less nervous about taking it, he then too popped it into his mouth and washed it down with the drink Marty had gotten for him, he was surprised how the drink burned going down his throat.

"Connor you are going to have the time of your life tonight! I promise you!" Amber laughed as she led him to a plush purple couch. The club was colorfully decorated and had strobe lights flashing everywhere.

Connor enjoyed himself as he felt the drug kicking in; he relaxed against the plush couch and listened to the techno music blast in the background.

Amber leaned close toward Connor and whispered in his ear. "Connor...You see that guy over there with the white hat...Go and pick his right pant pocket, he's known to always be carrying big bucks in there."

Connor really didn't want to go and steal but the look Amber was giving him persuaded him to go for it, he really wanted to do just about anything to please her at that point too.

Connor casually walked by the tall man's side and made as he was dancing and accidentally bumped into his target and swiftly picked the man's pocket cryptically.

Connor made his way back to Amber with a smile on his face. "I did it." He showed her the wad of bills he just had stolen.

"You see I told you it was easy, you're going to be a pro before you know it"

Connor sank down onto the very comfortable sofa as Marty approached.

"You guys rolling yet?"

"I'm kinda starting to." Amber replied.

"Cool, come dance with me." Marty pulled Amber to her feet and led her away leaving Connor relaxing back against the couch with his eyes closed listening to the techno music thumping. The effects of the drug were kicking in then and Connor was starting to feel really good in every sense of the word.

Angel parked his car on a curb near the club and then made his way into the club closely followed by Gunn for back up.

Angel scanned through the club in search of his son and just when he spotted him looking like he was asleep on a couch, a big black hairy vampire appeared right then causing people to scream and run. Angel went into attack mode and made the first move and attacked the demon.

"Angelus, what the hell are you doing here!"

Angel didn't even respond he went ahead and kicked then punched the demon.

Marty and Amber ran to where Connor was seated.

"Connor we got to go!" Marty hollered.

Connor stood up and looked over to see what the commotion was all about and was surprised to see Angel in the midst of a battle.

"That's my dad!" Connor happily ran to help his dad.

"What? Connor! What are you doing?" Amber yelled.

"Let's go, we're not safe here." Marty pulled Amber away.

"Dad!"

"Connor?"

"Aw looky here, the miracle child came to help daddy." The demon teased.

"Connor! Get out of here, right now!"

Connor did not opposite and ran to the demon and tried to kick the big demon but the demon easily caught his leg in the air.

If Angel's heart still beat it would have stilled just then.

He filled with anger that the demon had a hold on his son. "Let him go now!"

The demon drew Connor closer as the boy fought with all his might but he was oddly feeling weak and his heart was thumping faster than usual.

Just as Angel was about to charge at the demon, the demon turned to ashes before his eyes dirtying the boy in grey dust. Gunn appeared then he had been the one who killed the demon from behind with a sharp stake.

Angel ran to his son and enveloped him in a huge hug.

"Are you alright?"

Connor giggled. "Yes! I'm better than alright! I'm wonderful! Did you know that I feel connected to you? I never felt that with no one else just only you because you're my dad...My real daddy." Connor hugged his dad close.

"Connor?" Angel was shocked at hearing his son's heartfelt confession.

"Your boy is high off his ass!" Gunn remarked knowingly.

Angel had a sinking feeling that was true as he pulled Connor away just enough to get a look at his face, he noticed his son's eyes fluttering backwards and how his heart beat was racing.

"What did you take?" Angel asked urgently.

"Huh? I didn't take...Oh yeah I took that guy's money because I need it more-"

"What? ... No Connor what drug did you take?"

"I dunno...But I like it...it makes me feel so good!"

"Connor you are not to ever take drugs again! Do you understand me?"

Connor giggled. "Don't be mad Daddy...I feel really good." Connor flashed an angelic smile.

"Let's go." Angel was reasonably angry that his child was drugged out of his mind, he took a firm grip of his son's arm and ushered him out to his car closely followed by Gunn. Angel deposited his offspring in the backseat of his car and Gunn sat down in the passenger seat and then Angel speed out of there.

"Where are we going?"

"Home"

"I don't have a home." Connor sadly expressed while avoiding eye contact with his dad.

"Yes you do with me."

"No-"

"Look, I don't want to hear it Connor you're staying with me and that's final." Angel tried to talk as sternly to his child. He made up his mind that Connor was going to stay and live with him from then on out.

"What about my friends-"

"There are not your friends Connor."

"Yes they are! They helped me-" Connor paused and took a deep gulped, he wasn't feeling too good, he felt nauseous.

"Connor...What's wrong?"

"I don't feel so good."

"I think the kid is going to puke."

"Not in my car!" Angel begged and pulled over and pulled his son out of his car and rubbed soothing circles on Connor's back as the kid barfed on the side of the road.

"I feel better now." Connor's eyes started to flitter more violently and he began to sway on his feet.

Gunn noticed how Connor's eyes fluttered and immediately knew what the kid was on.

"The kid's rolling balls, he's on ecstasy."

"I'm not rolling balls? Am I?" Connor laughed and looked at his hands and held them up to show that he was not in fact rolling any balls.

Angel pulled Connor back into the car and tried to drive to the hotel as fast as he could as Connor sat in the backseat of his dad's car lost in euphoria.

Once Angel pulled up to the Hyperion he pulled his son out of the backseat and swiftly picked up his teenage son up into his arms and carried him into the hotel.

"Is he okay?" Cordelia approached.

"I'm wonderful!" Connor happily exclaimed.

"He's high off his ass." Gunn answered.

"What!" Fred exclaimed.

"This is my entire fault." Angel sadly expressed while looking at his drugged out kid.

"Angel...Don't be so hard on yourself, you have him here now that's all that matters."

"I'm letting you guys know now...He's not leaving again...He's going to live here and follow my rules whether he wants to or not."

"You really want me to stay?" Connor asked surprised.

"Yes son you're staying with me."

"Really?" Connor smiled happily.

"Yes really."

"I love you Daddy! Soo much!"

"His heart is beating pretty rapidly." Angel was really worried.

"You should have him drink water." Gunn advised.

"Yes keep him hydrated Angel." Fred piped up.

Angel was going to take Connor to the kitchen but Cordelia stopped him.

"Hold it, Connor is filthy...eww what is he covered in...Is that vamp dust? It's falling all over the floor and I just cleaned this floor today just take him upstairs and get him cleaned up and I'll bring up some water for him."

"Thanks Cordy."

Angel made his way upstairs with his precious cargo in his arms.

"Dad, why are you carrying me? I can walk you know." Connor laughed as he squirmed a bit in his father's arms.

"Relax." Angel firmly told his son as he entered his bedroom.

Angel laid his son onto his bed and removed his son's shoes.

"You're bed feels really nice...I like it." Connor snuggled against his dad's comforter.

"You can lie here as long as you like."

Cordelia then appeared at the doorway with a glass of water.

"Hey how's he holding up?"

"I don't know Cordy; he's high as a kite."

"Here you go Connor, drink as much as you can" She handed the glass of water to Connor who drank it thirstily and emptied the cup.

"You want more, sweetie?" Cordelia asked.

Connor nodded his head no and handed the cup back to Cordelia.

He suddenly felt nauseous again and he started to gag.

"What is it Connor?"

"I think he needs to throw up Angel."

"Crap! Not on my bed." Angel quickly scooped his son up and took him into the bathroom just in time before Connor tossed out all his cookies.

Angel felt hopeless not able to make his son feel better. He tried rubbing soothing patterns onto the kid's back as the kid regurgitated the final remains that were in his stomach.

Connor felt the drug start to hit him harder once he finished throwing up. His eyes started rolling to the back of his head more frequently and he could not keep a smile off his face, he felt good, really good.

"How are you feeling now pal?"

"Wonderful dad, I feel soo good." Connor relaxed against his dad's broad chest.

Angel did not like how his son's eyes kept rolling back ever so often but knew it was just a side effect of the drug his precious boy had taken.

Angel helped his son stand and step away from the toilet after he flushed away his son's vomit then he wet a small wash cloth and gently wiped at his kid's face.

"Okay son, let's get you back to bed."

Angel guided his kid out of the bathroom and found Cordelia going through one of his drawers.

"Angel, you need to get him changed out of those clothes." She pulled out one of Angel's white undershirts and a pair of flannel pants she had found and handed them to Angel.

"I can do it myself." Connor started to try to unbutton his shirt but it was difficult for him.

"Son let me help you with that." Angel swiftly unbuttoned the shirt and had it off the kid in no time. Angel noticed just how thin his kid really was then and felt a pang of regret in letting him run off that day.

Angel then reached down to undo his kid's jeans then glanced at Cordelia.

"Uh Cordy you think you can turn around? I don't want to embarrass him."

Cordelia smirked then muttered. "Nothing I haven't seen before, I did change many of his diapers only a few months ago."

Angel then proceeded to remove his son's dirty jeans; he also noticed how filthy and tattered the boy's underwear was, so he decided it was best to get the boy cleaned up before dressing him in clean clothing.

"Hey Pal lets go get you cleaned up a bit." Angel took his underwear clad son to the bathroom and ran a bath for his filthy child. Angel un-wrapped a packaged soap and put in on the side of the tub before turning to his son, who was leaning against the wall completely lost in his own world of ecstasy. Just looking at Connor, Angel knew the there was no way the kid would be able to bathe himself correctly. Angel reached toward his child and inch him closer to the tub before he gently yet rapidly yanked off his son's underwear before depositing his son into the warm tub.

"The water feels nice." It was the teen's only remark once he was in the tub.

Angel cleaned up Connor pretty fast even washed the kid's filthy hair all while Connor was lost in his euphoria.

Once Angel was done giving Connor a thorough bath he then helped him into a pair of flannel pants that absolutely swam on him and then soon after he swiftly pulled the white shirt onto him too.

Angel then led Connor to the bed and the teen practically jumped onto the bed and hugged Angel's pillow close taking in his father's scent.

Angel made a mental note to buy some underwear and clothing for his child; he couldn't help but get angry at himself for being such a lousy parent ever since his son came back into this world. He can't change his past mistakes but he is determined not to repeat them again. He already lost his son once before and he's not going to let it happen again. He's going to care, protect and defend his child no matter what.

"I'm going to go and get him some more water." Cordelia worriedly glanced at Connor then picked up the empty glass and left the room.

Connor lied back on his dad's big comfy bed and gazed up towards his dad.


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