Fandom: SNL

Pairing: Seth/Stefon

Wrote this one for a friend on LJ XD

It's very M



Stefon huffed. "But then Stefon will have to be all alone on the best weekend ever," he complained. "Awwww." The crowd joined him at the waving of his hands and Stefon smiled slightly before looking at Seth with a sad, sad expression.

And Seth was, as usual, unable to say no. He let everyone believe, even let himself believe, that it was the studio's reaction that always made him give in to Stefan's demands. Quite honestly, it was Stefon himself that made Seth give in. He was just too adorable, despite the hideous Ed Hardy shirt that he really should just burn. "Can my girlfriend come?"

Stefon smiled, looked Seth up and down with the wicked smile that shouldn't have set butterflies off in Seth's stomach but always did anyway. "No way."

And then Stefon was called off and Seth had to finish his news broadcast as though he hadn't just agreed to go on a date with the strangest person in New York. Again. The strangest person in New York. New. York. If strange was an export, New York would have a dominant market.

Then, when the broadcast was over and he was headed backstage, he'd hardly stepped off set when his cell phone rang.

Ten minutes later he had no girlfriend because maybe she didn't want a goddamn boyfriend who just had to invite the freaky little gay boy to every romantic thing they'd tried to do together. Valentine's Day, Thanksgiving. Stefon had met Seth's mother before her, for god's sake. What are you doing, Seth? Just what do you think you're doing?

Seth didn't know what he was doing, but he did know that come Friday he was going to have the strangest night of his entire life.

Strange didn't quite cover it. The so-called hottest clubs in New York, like Booooooooof and SPICY, were real. They were actually real. Seth had always assumed that Stefon was making them up, had never understood why the studio insisted on having him around every single holiday. Except, well, the audience loved him. Stefon got so many cheers every time Seth introduced him.

And in those strange places, Stefon's ugly shirt was suddenly very tame. He waved his hands excitedly, guiding Seth through crowds of even stranger people. "Come on, Seth Meyers! You have to see!" And Seth saw. Seth saw a lot. Seth saw human suitcases and the most awkward ice sculptures ever imagined by man and just... just really didn't know what else there was. He ended up plastered to Stefon's side by the time they made it to Uh!, which Stefon didn't seem to mind at all.

He twined his arm around Seth, hooking it around his waist. "Aren't you having fun, Seth Meyers?"

Seth turned his head, found his face pressing into Stefon's side and was surprised to feel comforted by the odd man's proximity. "This is... a lot to take in, Stefon."

"Awww." Seth let his lips curve against Stefon's shirt, breathing in the other man's scent. Stefon smelled... surprisingly normal, surprisingly comforting. Old Spice, Seth realized and stifled a laugh against his ugly shirt. Stefon used Old Spice. He looked up to ask why and was startled again, this time by the intensity of his gaze. "Stefon won't let anything happen to you, Seth Meyers."

Seth blushed, could feel the color heating his cheeks, warming the tips of his ears. And he has no idea what possessed him to reach up and curl his fingers into the collar of Stefon's shirt, dragging him down so their lips collided. Usually the kisses were Stefon's fault. A stolen peck on the cheek followed by "I'm so proud; look what I just did!" smiles and smug look towards the audience. There had been one or two lip to lip encounters, but those were all Stefon's fault too. Appearing out of nowhere backstage and grabbing Seth's face and jerking him close - damn, there was some strength in those skinny-looking arms.

So it was clearly just Seth's turn. That didn't mean it meant anything. That didn't mean Seth wasn't still straight. Maybe he was just upset from his break-up. Right. That was it. Stefon was a rebound. Stefon was a very male, very strange rebound.

And then Stefon's tongue was in his mouth and those rational thoughts scattered. His tongue was warm and wet and tasted like something forbidden. Seth felt something just as forbidden swelling against his thigh and groaned, his arms twining around Stefon's neck, turning to plaster his body fully against the other man's. Seth then did something else he'd never done before: he rose to his toes to kiss somebody.

Their lips never broke contact with each other, but the slide of bodies, the realignment made it suddenly even more personal. Horizontally personal, despite the fact that they were still standing in this too-loud club with its pulsating strobe lights and, Jesus, was that a dancing giraffe in the corner? How had he not noticed a giraffe in the corner?

The human bath mats were looking up at them through their dreadlocks making their approval known with applause. Stefon waved at them, smiling the brightest smile Seth had ever seen. It was brighter than after that first lip to lip kiss where, as Seth admitted only when he was randomly awake and alone at three am, Seth hadn't thought to push back.

He didn't think to push back now either, arms staying locked around Stefon's neck. "My girlfriend broke up with me."

This breathless admission was met with a delighted gasp and a "Hooray!" And then Seth's expression registered and Stefon painted on his most valiant attempt at a sympathetic expression. "Awwww. That bitch. We should drink Baarimees Batteries until you forget all about her."

Seth stared at him for a long moment. "Stefon, what are Baarimees Batteries?"

"It's that thing where you take half and ounce of Smirnoff, two ounces of Passoa, and three ounces of Red Bull." He was counting the ingredients on his fingers behind Seth's back, not willing to let him go.

"Oh." Seth looked mildly surprised. "That sounds-"

"And also half an ounce of the bartender's blood."


"Whaaaaaat?" He gave Seth such an honestly exasperated look that all shorter man could do was drop his brow onto Stefon's chest and smile.

"Can I get it without the bartender's blood?"

Stefon huffed. "Seth Meyers, you are so normal."

"Thank you," he replied and let Stefon take him to the bar.

Seth wasn't drunk. He was fully and painfully aware of this as he stood, looking into Stefon's hopeful eyes while the taxi driver told them to hurry the hell up. He had other fares he could be earning. Seth ignored him because Stefon had his hands on Seth's hips and was gazing up at him with eyes that were as sober as Seth's. The club had been shut down by the fire marshal before they'd been able to toss more than a few Baarimees Batteries back. "Again?" Stefon had whined and Seth had asked to go home.

And now they were at his apartment building. Jesus, he wasn't even buzzed. Why was he thinking about this? It probably had something to do with the fact that he'd let Stefon kiss him senseless in the back of the taxi. Lust was clouding his senses rather than alcohol and Seth was finding it surprisingly hard (oh, haha) to remember all the reasons why this couldn't happen.

Stefon's sneaky, long fingers teased their way beneath Seth's shirt, stroking the quivering, heated skin beneath. Seth blew out a shaky breath. "Listen, Stefon, you can come up."

His long legs swung out of the taxi before Seth had even completed the sentence and he was smiling and waving at the taxi driver as he slammed the back door. "We're going to have so much fun, Seth Meyers."

Seth's cheeks pinkened, but he tried to beat it back. "No, Stefon. It's just for a last drink before you go home."

Stefon pouted. "One last drink?"

"One," Seth confirmed and the pout deepened.

It wasn't one. It was two. And then it was three. And then Stefon was watching, enraptured, while Seth tried to take in the late night news and make jokes about the stories. If Stefon smiled, Seth wrote it down.

But then Stefon got bored and flipped off the TV, smothering Seth's protests with his tongue. "Stefon," he whined, turning his head. His breath hitched when Stefon's tongue only skimmed along his skin with the move, teasing his ear. "Stefon," he repeated in an entirely different tone. He felt Stefon smiling, fingers sliding down and below Seth's shirt.

"I'm so glad you're not wearing a suit. So hard to get off." Seth made a stuttering sound when his shirt was suddenly off and on the floor. Stefon made an appreciative sound, fingers gliding over the newly bared skin. "Much better."

This shouldn't be happening. This couldn't be happening. It had taken Seth months before he'd even let his former girlfriend see him shirtless. And she hadn't been nearly so - oh god. Seth's grip on the couch, because he'd reared his hands back to keep from touching Stefon, to possibly escape, tightened. Stefon's tongue had worked its way down to his nipple and was swirling around it. His teeth nipped and Seth's back arched, head falling back. This shouldn't be happening. This couldn't be happening.

"Oh, Seth Mey-ers. You're so responsive."

Seth whined, finally bringing his hands up. They curled into Stefon's shirt and then he pushed back. "We- I- What are we doing?"

Stefon huffed. "Oh my god, Seth Meyers, are you a virgin?"

Seth colored. "No! I'm not a- No. I'm straight, Stefon."

Stefon glanced down, smiling. "Not yet. We're getting there." He reached down, tugged at the zipper of his jeans - and wasn't it cute that Seth Meyers wore a belt and they weren't skinny jeans or anything? He was so normal. Stefon wasn't really used to liking people who were normal, but resisting Seth Meyers was impossible.

He was wearing polka-dot boxers, the dots all kinds of colors over a black background. Those were not straight boy boxers. They were at least bisexual boxers or they were kind of like that thing where you liked to-


He looked up, distracted, and Seth Meyers was blushing. Awwww. Stefon wanted to fuck him sideways. That could be fun. He wasn't sure how Seth Meyers would react to that suggestion. He smiled, moving forward to kiss him again. Seth Meyers didn't argue much when Stefon was kissing him. It was a very nice thing to do, too, so Stefon was more than willing to make it happen as often as possible.

He crawled on top of Seth, taking a hold of his hips and pushing him down. Seth arched up and made a delicious moaning sound, arms winding around Stefon's neck. "You can top," Stefon promised, his groin pressing down against Seth's.

"I don't... I don't really think I should have sex with someone who would sleep with a Furkle."

"Seth Meyerrrrsss," Stefon whined and his hips bucked.

Seth shook his head even though the move had him biting his lip to hold back a groan. "I can't, Stefon. I'm..." He trailed off because Stefon looked so pitiful and needy and hurt. It was worse than when they were at the studio and Stefon elicited the help of the audience. Seth felt himself giving in as he always did. "If... If we do, can I burn this shirt? It's really ugly."

"Totally," Stefon agreed and leaned back to pull it off.

Seth bit his lip, hesitantly reached out, and laid his hand flat on Stefon's chest. And the brightest smile passed over Stefon's features. "Okay." This was happening. Holy god, what was he doing?

Stefon lowered back down and kissed Seth throughout the removal of what was left of their clothes. "Your little boxers are so cute," Stefon praised, pulling them down and away. His eyes went round and wide at the very nude Seth Meyers below him, studying him until he began to squirm. Stefon stopped that by taking a hold of his hips and lowering his mouth to Seth's pretty little twitching penis.

Well... maybe not little. But it was pretty and awfully excited. Seth lifted his hips, his delicious lean frame forming a taut bow. He made a mewling sound that made Stefon wonder, again, if Seth Meyers was really a virgin. Or if he'd gotten laid in a while. His girlfriend was obviously not very appreciative of all that was Seth Meyers.

Stefon, though, was super appreciative. Seth was so pretty and he was so yummy. Stefon closed his eyes to fully enjoy just how yummy, tongue lapping at the crown as if he'd just found the most delicious lollipop ever consumed. His lips wrapped around the head, sucking hard as his tongue delved into the slit. Stefon wondered who else had been able to taste Seth Meyers like this, who else had been able to heard those whimpers from those tasty lips.

He felt a flash of something too foreign to be recognized as the jealousy it was when he thought of that. Except when he considered that he'd felt the same way when admiring Black George Washington's blue coat with all of its shiny brass buttons. He leaned back slightly, blinking down at Seth's penis as though it held the answers. Stefon had never been jealous of anybody else's lovers. He'd had tons. But the idea that anybody else had ever seen Seth Meyers like this...

He looked up, dark eyes filled with something like wonder. "Ohmygod, Seth Meyers, Stefon loves you!"

"Whaaaah god!" Seth forgot what he'd been trying to say because his entire cock was now enveloped in a hot, wet space that was sucking at him tirelessly. He looked down, watching his shaft appear and disappear with every bob of Stefon's head.

He forgot all about the declaration as his hands slid down and gripped Stefon's hair. He was better at that than any of the girls he'd ever slept with. He was also a lot more interested, judging by the eager little sounds he kept making. Every one of those sounds vibrated through Seth's cock, sending jolts of pleasure up his spine.

It suddenly really didn't matter that Stefon was a man. He whimpered when that delicious mouth slid away, watched Stefon lick his lips and gaze up with a hungry expression that stole Seth's breath. "St-stefon?"

"I don't want you to cum yet. I want you inside me."

Seth had never really heard Stefon refer to himself as "I" before and it finally brought a hint of normalcy into this really fucked up situation. But still. He swallowed hard, nodding. "Yeah. Um... yeah. Wait here?"

"Whatever you say, Seth Meyers." Stefon bent his head and gave the head a final, fond lick that had Seth squeezing his eyes shut. Oh wow. Trying to breathe properly, he went to his room and the bathroom that connected. He dug lube out from under the sink and rose, going still when he caught sight of himself in the mirror.

Oh, wow. Seth studied himself, lifted a hand and bit into his knuckle. He was a little flushed, eyes dark and aroused, and he was hard as a rock. He couldn't really remember the last time he'd been this turned on. What had Stefon done to him?

Seth quickly walked out and went still yet again when he saw Stefon. His cock gave an interested jerk to see him. He had one long leg flung over the arm of the couch, the other dropped off the side, and he was idly stroking himself, eyes half-lidded. They didn't open further when he noticed Seth, but he did smile.

Seth's mouth went dry and opened partially so he could try and deny just how... beautiful Stefon looked. Unable to manage it, though, he moved forward, straddled Stefon's waist and kissed him. Stefon made a happy sound, twining his arms around Seth and caressing his back. "Stefon stayed."

"I know you did, Stefon. I can see you." He popped the top off the cap and squeezed some of the lube onto his fingers. "I've never done this before."

"I know." In a move that had his mouth going dry again, Stefon swung his legs up and hooked them over Seth's shoulders. He arched his hips up, propping back on his elbows. "But Stefon has." Seth slicked some of the lube directly onto Stefon's hole, making him shiver and then slowly, cautiously, slid a finger inside.

It was tighter than anything Seth had ever felt before and imagining what it would be like on his dick had a shiver working its way down his spine. He thrusted his finger until Stefon told him to add another and then did. "Ooh..."

Biting his lip, Seth added a third and crooked his fingers. He must've grazed something because Stefon's hips lifted even higher off the bed, his eyes springing open. His muscles clenched tightly around Seth's fingers and he made a sound so debauched that Seth wanted inside immediately.

He kept his fingers moving, continually brushing that spot until Stefon was begging and writhing on the couch cushions. Panting, Seth slicked his cock before pressing it in. Oh. Oh, that was... Oh.

If he could've stopped, he probably would've. He probably would've realized that Stefon needed some time to adjust to the intrusion. But Seth was having a little too much difficulty breathing to realize things like that. So he didn't stop until he was fully seated within the other man, eyes closed, panting. He was a little dizzy and, good lord, he'd never been in a tighter, hotter place.

Slowly, he eased back and forth, listened to the sounds Stefon was beginning to make. Oh, wow. He liked this. It took Seth one thrust, length dragging over Stefon's prostate, to decide that he liked it too. He liked it a lot. Girls had nothing on this.

With that last coherent thought, Seth pistoned his hips, setting a hard, edgy pace. Stefon clung to his arms, clinging desperately while wild, guttural sounds were jerked from him. "Ooh! Seth Mey-ers!" he gasped, watching Seth with pure adoration.

This was so wonderfully new... Seth bit his lip, looking down. He grasped Stefon's leaking cock and worked it, fist moving in time with his thrusts. This really wasn't that hard. This was good. It was felt absolutely incredible and the noises Stefon made were delicious and oh-oh-oh-! When Stefon came, his muscles clenched even tighter around Seth's cock and he jerk-jerk-jerked his hips, burying himself deep within through his own release.

Seth really didn't know what happened after that; everything was hazy after that. He vaguely remembered Stefon gathering him close in a tight hug, pressing kisses all over his face. "Oh my gosh, Seth Meyers, that was amazing." His own breathless, grunted agreements. Because, y'know, it had been pretty amazing.

When Stefon had stood and shuffled away, Seth lifted an arm and pressed it over his eyes and...

Now he was in bed. The sun was out, his curtains drawn, and he was still very much naked. He never slept naked, so obviously Stefon had put him to bed... That was sweet. Smiling, Seth toyed with his sheets. Stefon really was the sweetest guy. Even if he was a little strange.

"Seth Meyers!"

Seth glanced up at the chipper voice and smiled slowly. "Good morning, Stefon."

"Good morning!" he chimed and practically danced over to the bed, throwing himself onto it and into Seth's arms. "I had to get you breakfast. You had nothing edible anywhere."

"I have plenty of stuff that's edible, Stefon." And then Seth blinked and pulled back a little because, besides Stefon's usually skinny jeans, he was wearing a different shirt. He was wearing one of Seth's shirts. Seth blinked, tugging at the material. "Is this mine?"

"Yesyesyesyes." It was being pulled off of Stefon's head before he could say anything. "You said you didn't like Stefon's old shirt."

"Well, yeah. That's because I don't."

Stefon ignored him. "New York's hottest club is Seth Meyers's apartment. It's got everything." Stefon was peeling off his jeans now and Seth was biting his lip, surprising himself at how eager he was for this. "Blowjobs, handjobs, fingering, anal penetration, showers, this big bed, and Sethon."

"What is Sethon?" Seth asked, lips twitching.

"It's that thing where Seth Meyers and Stefon are having sex and Seth is on Stefon."

"That actually sounds really great. Good job, Stefon." And with a brilliant smile, Stefon was kissing him again.

Oh, Seth~ Why are you so damn cute?

And WHY is Stefon so, so amazing?