He floated on top of the vast water, calm, still, weightless. His gorgeous cerulean eyes opened wide, staring at the emptiness of the sky. His breath came out slow and steady. The body on the water didn't make a single move, simply floating, following the directions of the water reflecting the color of the sky.

The wind blew gently, washing over his dampened shirt and his wet body. The lake was empty, not a single soul was there. It was right then that he heard the rustling of the bushes. He stayed deadly still, ignoring the noise, closing his eyes. He wished the water would take him away, somewhere far away where he wouldn't need to face the reality of the world. He wished for the water to swallow him whole. He wished for every horrible, unimaginable nightmare to take fold right in front of him. He wanted death. He wanted to drown.

Fear overwhelmed his senses, so much so that he couldn't fulfill his death wishes by himself. He wanted to die, yet at the same time, he didn't want to, didn't dare to.

He wanted to be taken somewhere… far away…

He fell asleep on the water soon after.


When he woke up, the first thing that he registered into his mind was darkness and horrible, rotten stink, absorbed by his nose. He chocked, having the urge to regurgitate everything in his digestive system. He held his breath, but to no avail, the smell was so disgusting. He looked around, but everything was dark.

And soon, he realized that he was not floating on the water anymore. He was sitting in the darkness, darkness so great that he couldn't see himself. He listened in, trying to be as quiet as he could. He could hear his own pounding heartbeat, telling him to run away… telling him that it was not safe there. Adrenaline rushed to his whole being. Run? Run where? He couldn't see anything. And all of a sudden, he felt a swoosh of wind blowing through his bare neck. He shuddered, eyes growing wide.

"Wh-where am I?" he wondered to himself. His shaky voice echoed.

Slowly, he stood up to his feet. "Is anybody there?" he wondered again, but the reply he got was his own voice. "Please! Where am I?" he queried, becoming more and more afraid.

Suddenly, the rotten stench wasn't as unpleasant anymore.

He ran to a random direction, hoping to find something. Was he dead? Swallowed by the water? Was he in hell? Where was he? If he was dead…

"Axel… are you there?" he asked. If he was dead… then that meant that he would meet Axel. He panted, labored breathing coming out from his mouth, taking in as much oxygen as he could. Then, he continued running, hoping to be reunited with his beloved again. But there was no one, only himself. Was this God's way of playing with him? Of breaking his heart more? Scaring him into insanity?

He lost Axel more than a month ago, and since then, he had sought for many ways to be reunited with his lover. But every time…. Every time he was close to reaching that goal of his, something interrupted him. Whether he was saved by his family, saved by himself, or he was simply too cowardly to do anything. It was as if somebody prevented him from going to the afterworld.

He didn't remember drowning… was he dead?

"Roxas…" came the voice.

"Axel?" he could recognize the voice from anywhere. That was Axel's voice, sweet, deep, gentle. How he missed the way his name was called. How he missed feeling needed, feeling cherished… how he missed everything… his voice, his touch… "Axel! Where are you?" he asked, desperate.

"Go home, Roxas. This is not the place where you…"

"Bullshit, Axel! Come home with me, please! I need you! I can't live without you!" he shouted miserably, trying to find the source of the voice.

Go Home…


He jolted awake, gasping, his head popped out of the water soon, and he choked, spitting the water he swallowed out of his system. He kept coughing, struggling for breath. He looked around, swimming. He was still there, in the water.

"Hey! Are you okay?" a voice asked.

It didn't take him long to find out that he had been dreaming and that he had fallen asleep and lost control of his limbs. He didn't answer the girl that queried for his well-being. He swam out of the water and walked away, feeling the water weighting him down with every single step he took on the sand.

He was alive… and that was the last thing he wanted in his live.


"Roxas, you're finally home," Naminé greeted with a warm smile. "Where did you go? I've been looking everywhere for you," she said, worry apparent in her voice. "You're wet, Roxas. Where did you go?" she demanded. "You didn't…" she sighed. It broke her heart to know that her son had gone through another suicide attempt. "You were supposed to go and meet your therapist today, Roxas," she ran inside to grab a dry towel for her son.

Roxas was silent, walking inside without saying anything. Through his way home, his clothes had dried up, plastered against his skin. He dreamt of Axel again… but this time, it was different. He had actually communicated with the Axel in his dream… but this time, it was dark and he wasn't able to locate him. Last time, he dreamt about chasing Axel, in a room filled with blinding light. But his legs gave up on him and there was nothing he could do. He was too far away and Axel was going too fast. All he could do was watch as the man with redhair disappeared.

Naminé dried her son with the towel. "Roxas… what is happening to you…?" she asked, desperate. Roxas was her only son… and if only she knew… if only she knew that Roxas would become like this after the departure of that son of a bastard… she would take back all those horrible words that came out of her lips if she could… she would reverse everything if she could… but it was too late now. That son of a bitch was gone and now, he was taking away her son with him. "Roxas… please speak to me…" she said.

Roxas looked at the woman with a pair of lifeless eyes. "I want Axel back…" he whispered. "I want Axel… Give him back…" he muttered.

"I can't, Roxas. He's dead. Don't you understand!"

"Give him back…" he choked, blinking his stinging eyes.

He knew… it was that woman standing in front of him whom he should blame. It was all because of her… because of his mother. Axel's death…

He should have died too…

"I-I can't…" she said.

"Bring him back…" Roxas demanded.

Naminé shook her head and slapped Roxas hard in the face. "You would have died with him too if I didn't save you, Roxas!"

"That was the whole purpose, mom! We intended to die. Together!" he yelled. "I was supposed to die with him… Why? Why did you save me? Just let me die."

"You're my only son, Roxas… I won't let you go like that."


He remembered being taken away from his house. He remembered struggling, kicking, and screaming. But it was all blurred out and the next thing he knew, he was there, in the white, wide room, tied down to the bed by measly belts. He couldn't move, his limbs were tied down and whoever tied him down didn't intend for him to escape. He heard noises from outside. He heard people, talking, whispering. And as he looked over, he saw his mother, talking to the doctor.

He was not insane… He was not sick… He had just… given up.


He panted, but he kept running, smiling, laughing. His hand was held securely and he felt safe. He looked over and he saw him.

"Keep running, Rox. Don't wanna be caught~" the redhead grinned, saying in a singsong.

"I know!" the blond laughed, lacing his fingers tightly around Axel's.

"Over here!" the redhead dragged him along, turning to a hidden alleyway, hiding there.

The smaller one slid down against the wall, panting, coughing. "Did we lose them?"

Axel looked out. "I think we did. Great job, partner." He chuckled.

"You're a monster, Axel." Roxas laughed, noticing that Axel didn't look tired even after all the running.

"You just need more exercised." Axel immediately caught on, smiling, stroking the blond's hair lovingly. The both looked into each other's eyes and the redhead sat down beside the blond, cupping the Roxas' cheek gently, ghosting his fingertips against the smooth cheek of the blond. There was a smile on his lips, a true loving and genuine smile. His hand snaked around the other neck, pulling the smaller one close. Leaning in, he pressed his lips against the blond's, demandingly, possessively.

The smaller on pressed back, kissing passionately, eyes closed, melting into the kiss. His stomach churned from pleasure. He loved the feeling. His heart beat faster, the kiss sending electricity jolts to his entire body, making every manly part of him come to life. He took in a sharp breath, parting his lips, moaning into the kiss as he felt his tongue being tugged into the other's mouth. He felt around the moist cavern there, tasting the delicate taste that belonged to his one and only Axel. He scooted closer, wrapping his arms around the body bigger than his, running his fingers through the red mane. He moved his head sideways for a deeper kiss.

He pulled away a while later, desperate for breath. His face was flushed and he felt hot all over his body. He was grateful that he wore baggy pants that day, which perfectly concealed the arousal that was burning and throbbing underneath. Axel wasn't as lucky, having chosen to wear tight pants.

Roxas chuckled when his eyes met Axel's groin, seeing the sweet arousal of Axel's sex. He looked up and smiled at the man. "You're hard…" he chuckled, saying the obvious.

Axel grinned. "Don't tell me you're not," he reached over and squeezed Roxas' arousal.

Roxas moaned, taking in a sharp breath, pants getting a little wet. "Stop that," he said, playfully slapping Axel's hand away.

"Feisty," the redhead grinned.

"I love you, Axel."

"Not as much as I love you. I want to take you. Here and now."

"In this stinking alleyway? No thanks, Mister."

"So it's okay if it's somewhere more comfortable?"

"I'll think about it then."

Roxas smiled, watching the redhead. He loved him so much. Slowly, he reached over and unzipped the zippers of the redhead's jeans. He grinned when he found out that his boyfriend decided to not wear any boxers or briefs that day as the redhead's rock hard arousal sprang out from the opening of the jeans.

He grabbed Axel's length, brushing his thumb against the leaking tip, licking his tip when he heard the excited moan of the other. Leaning down sideway, he brought his lips close to Axel's cock. His tongue darted out to lick the smooth tip, licking up the precum, tasting Axel in his mouth. He always enjoyed Axel's taste, a little bitter, a little sweet… he couldn't decide.

Axel threw his head back. "Shit… Roxas…" he grunted.

Roxas smirked, taking the tip into his mouth while pumping the shaft. He skillfully used his tongue, wanting Axel to explode inside him, fast and quick. Rolling the length around in his mouth, he reaches down, letting Axel's scrotum out. He played with the two balls, massaging lovingly and he began sucking, making little slurping noises.

Axel watched as the blond head bobbed up and down on his lap. He took in a deep breath, holding himself from cumming. He tensed a while later and came into the blond's mouth, panting.


He missed Axel… he missed him so… he didn't want to be separated… it was all because of his mom. He closed his eyes, slowly falling into the beginning of his deep slumber.



A voice said, piercing into his skull. He jumped up with a groan, holding his head, feeling pain searing through his brain, pounding through his head.

Surrender your soul and we'll make a deal.

"A deal?"

To gain what you wanted most.

"What I…" he panted, trying to ignore the severe headache he was suffering.

You know very well what I am talking about. Come to me… Seek me out…

The voice was gone, along with the headache. He took in a sharp breath. Who was that? Where was he? "To gain… what I wanted most…" he repeated, mumbling under his breath. "Axel…" he murmured.

He looked ahead and around, finding himself in a strange, makeshift world. The silhouettes of far away mountains and the redness of the sky gave birth to the feeling that it was Halloween all over again. He walked forward, moving without knowing it, letting his legs take him to wherever he needed to go.


I haven't been writing in a… long while. Uhmmm… yeah… I dunno. This should be a multi chaptered, right? Well, we'll see how this is received. I don't think this is perfect at all. This is most certainly filled with flaws. So, please forgive the mistakes. And let me know what you think. Thanks.