a/n: ok r u redy 4 more?

No, please, no...

becuz sum certain bitch prepz were comploining i got more editars ok!1GET OVER IT!

Those editors are doing a shitty job.

dansk 2 everyon hu lieks it!

Are you speaking German now? What the hell is 'dansk'?



Four days past and I relized that I didn't love Edwart anymore.

Well, I did warn you...

I couldn't beleve it miself. I woke up in da morning wif black tearz of deep sorrowfull endless evol depression all crying down mah face.

And, let me guess, a dreadful frown on your face of endless darkness and sadness? Get over it. You were the dumbass who married at sixteen.

I put on some Metalika musik nd cut rist.

Metallica makes me want to slit my wrists, also.

"Twila are u in there?" someone whimpered from outside my room. I gasped. It sounded like Ed.

He is your husband...

But I just turned up the song and sang allong 2 it, screming "HOLD MI BREATH AS I WISH 4 DETH, OH PLEASE SATAN, WAKE ME" (a/n arent dose lyricz so menengful.)

So deep and sorrowful, Twila. I've got tears in my eyes...

"OH FUKKIN SATAN NO WHAT R U DOING IN THAR!1111" Edward exploded crying becaus he knew what this meant.

I don't know what it means, care to explain, Eddie?

He knew that I didn't want to c him because I had fallen out of love.

And he got this from a line of horrifically spelt lyrics...

"Darkness imprizoning me," I wept sadly. "All that I see- absulote HORROR I KANNOT LIVE- I KANNOT DIE!"

For these past days, all I've seen is the horror of this fanfic and a bitch who cannot die. I know how you feel.

Sullenly the door broke down and a bunch of people kame in. It waz all da Cullens who were still alive n Jake (he had found hiz way out of da woods).

I told you to run, Jacob!

They all storted to pin my hot body down so I could nut move.

Another sex orgy? Wow.

"WTF ARE YOU DOING ASSHOLES." I shrieked. My rists were bleding everywhere. "NOW THE WORLD IS GONE ND I'M JUST ONE, OH SATAN HELP ME."

Carlisle, I think she just called for you.

They turned off da musik nd I fainted. "You can't do this Twi." They looked all serious. "We all entered da pakt by making out wif Hamez."

Because the 'sexeh' Spanish man is very 'sexeh'. I need to go beat my head against a wall for a while, excuse me.

They said nodding. I gasped again. "And Twila, u can't deny ur felines for Ed."

"Remember the pakt is that if you die, we all die." I woke up and asked "Yeah. But isn't the pakt just me Ed Hamez and Victory. What's gong on?"

They just said that they made out with Hamez, entering the pact.

Twila: "O ya."

"I know lol," I promised. "I fink it was just a fase I just went thru."

You're in the clear, Eddie, it was just a phase.

But then Carloyle stepped forward looking at me all weird. "Nu," he laughed darkly.

" Nuuuuuuuu!" Sorry, that's not scary. It's hilarious.

"I told u it wasn't over Twila Beautiful Psycho Topaz Sad'ness Damian Cullen.

Why Damian? Why? Your name was long enough, you can't just change your name because you feel like it.

I was trying to make you not love my son wif my powerz so you would kome back to me."

"Well letz celebrate." Jake screamed.

One track mind, Jacob?

"Twila doesn't want you Carl. You need to get over it."

"You really seem to understnad me?" Carlisse froned confusedly at Jake.

Oh no, Jacob. Pedo-bear has set his sights on you.

"No one has ever realli understood me."

So we all went to Vegass and had a party and came back to Washerton. Carlile and Jake got marred there.

Were they drunk?

Then Jake died sadly in an axident so Carliel got remared to Esmie.

What's the point of having them married for one sentence, then?

"Twila this place isn't safe." Edward told me that nite. "Did u see what happened to Jake, we need to go someplace safer. I know a safe place for vampirs it's called Black Cavern of Bloody Despair."

That sounds oddly like the cavern I have where we kill annoying vampires like Twila. Oh, Eddie, you sly fox.

"Den letz leave at dawn." I said staring at him deeply wif my eyes. "We kan start a new goffic life."

How romantic...

"Okay he said."


That's it? Really? Even if this story was horrible, I feel ripped off.

Well, I want to thank everyone who read my comments and stuck with me through this. I need to go read some more Watership Down to replace the time I spent on this.

Also, if you want me to comment on some more bad/troll fic, please drop me a line and I'll see what I can do. Thanks!