If I'm quiet, hug me. It means I'm either over thinking, breaking down, or wishing I was someone else... Sometimes, though, it's all of the above. –unknown
I couldn't believe I'd done this. I'd gone out and actually ran away. Sure, I'd said I would but I didn't really think it would happen. I mean I didn't even know the guy. I'd met him once at my grandmother's funeral. I'd barely known the old hag but my mom had dragged me there and we'd briefly said hi. I'd gone through ever Carlisle I could find until I'd gotten his number and when I had called and explained my situation he'd flown me out as close to the island as he could get me and had arranged to meet me here, in front of one of the fanciest hotels I'd ever seen.
I pulled a cigarette out of my back pocket and lit it. It wasn't extremely cold or hot. It felt nice actually and I couldn't help wondering what my mom was doing. She probably hadn't gotten my letter yet. She was probably too jacked up on drugs to even care about anything except her druggy boyfriend and the next time she'd be able to score. It was pathetic that a man I didn't even know cared more about my whereabouts than my own mother, the one who'd birthed me.
I took a nice slow drag and looked at the man standing next to me. He hadn't moved since he'd taken the spot next to me. He probably thought I was some sort of prostitute. I couldn't blame him. I probably looked like one. I had packed one bag. There wasn't much I had. I was wearing my black boots, a short pair of black shorts and a red spaghetti strapped shirt. Two big hoop earrings were in my ears and a little nose stud rested in my nose. I had my hair loose and curly and black makeup was plastered over my face. All the same, the looks he was giving me was pissing me off and making me want to kick his ass. I knew I could. I'd had my fair share of fights, male and female and I was sure I could defend my own on this guy.
I took another puff and turned my head towards him.
"May I help you?" I growled.
He opened his mouth and closed it and opened it again before turning and rushing back in to the hotel. I shook my head. Where the hell was this guy? Maybe he hadn't shown up. Maybe he'd decided his sister's daughter wasn't his problem. Hell, he hadn't gotten her pregnant. Or had he? She was always too stoned to really know who my father was. I was surprised I'd even survived this long. Sure, she'd done the best she could, considering the circumstance, but once I'd hit 12, I was on my own. It'd made me tough.
What the fuck? I turned around.
A tall woman stood behind me a smile planted on her mouth. I had to admit she looked amazing. She had to be Carlisle's wife. She had a hug rock planted on her left hand. She was wearing a pair of designer jeans and a gorgeous shirt that tied around a neck. A set of pearl earrings were in her ears and a diamond necklace was around her neck. She had long blonde hair and the best eyes ever. She looked like she could be on the cover of a magazine.
"Hi, I'm Esme Cullen. I'm here to get you. Carlisle's already in the room," she explained and extended a hand.
I shook it and dropped my cigarette and stepped on it. How had two people that were raised together come out so differently? One was a millionaire. The other one was a drug addict that would do anything for a fix. I nodded and let the woman lead me away and in to the elevator. She didn't talk so neither did I. She brought me to the 3rd floor and used her key card to open the 5th door. Carlisle Cullen met us when we walked in.
He looked extremely… friendly. He had a huge smile on his face. He was tall too, at least 7 feet. His hair was the same dark brown as me and my mother even though he had a little gray, he still looked good for his age. The gray seemed to fit him. He was wearing a pair of black slacks and a shirt I couldn't exactly see, due to the jacket he had on. He ran a hand through his hair before extending a hand to me.
"You look just like your mother," he said.
"Excuse me?" It popped out before I could stop it.
"You know, Miranda? A short little lady, brunette, gorgeous hazel eyes and the cutest birthmark on her right shoulder."
"Uhm yeah? That's my mom."
"And my baby sister, I'm really glad to meet you after all of these years, Isabella."
"Bella," I corrected automatically.
"Bella," he repeated, "Well this is my wife Esme and we're more than excited to have you staying with us. My daughter couldn't make it. You'll meet her tomorrow. Uhm… this is your room and since the weather is a little gross I was thinking I'd take you guys eat out maybe?"
"I'm not hungry," I said quietly.
I was far from quiet. I didn't know why he made me nervous. He just did and I didn't like it.
"Well that's fine. Is there anything we could get you?"
"No, really, I don't want to be a hassle. I just needed to get away from… everything. I just need a shower and a good night of sleep."
"Well that sounds reasonable but I think we should talk first."
Carlisle looked at Esme and she excused herself. It was the first time that I noticed she had on 5 inch heels. I wondered how she walked in those.
Carlisle motioned toward the bed and I sat on it. He sat beside me. I decided I liked him. He looked like a no bullshit sort of guy.
"I understand you've been through a lot, Isabella, but while staying in my house there are certain rules that must be obeyed. First of all, I don't condemn cursing. I don't allow coming in after 2 in the morning on the weekend. If you will, the least you can do is call. I don't let anything below a C in to my house. There can be no provocative pictures posted on the internet, no guys over that I have not met. You cannot let a guy take you out of my yard without my permission and lastly, there will be none of that," he looked down at my front pocket and made a head gesture.
I pulled the pack of cigarettes out and handed them to him.
"Good. You can ask Rose, I'm really not that bad, I promise. All of my rules are for reasons. Now, enough of that, I'll leave you alone. Goodnight, Bella."
He stood up and then pulled me up and in to a hug. I panicked at first. I didn't hug. It was just one of the things I'd never really had to deal with. The only time my mom and I hugged was when I was helping her up off the floor. When he release he dropped a key card and a box that he'd taken out of his pocked on the little table and let himself out.
I really liked him. I locked the door and went to the bathroom. Everything had changed so much in such a short time. I wasn't my mother's keeper anymore. I could be a normal teenage girl. I could date and have friends.
I turned the water on full blast and stepped under it and let it all hit me. I loved how the hear felt against my bare skin. It calmed me down, me and all of my pain. I tilted my head back and then yanked open the curtain and grabbed my jeans. I shook my razor loose from my back pocket and collapsed to the ground. The hot water was leaving little red dots on my back as I sat hunched over. I held my arm out in front of me and slashed one line, quick and smooth and waited for the little ring of pain that had become familiar to my body. I liked my outside pain to balance my entire inside pain. I needed them to complete each other and make me feel better. I watched my blood go down the drain before making two more lines and then two more and two more. It was hurting now. A lot. I bit my bottom lip and let the tears flow. I knew it had nothing to do with the cuts on my wrist. It was from me being so screwed up. It was from the pain I'd been carrying for God knows how long. It was for everything I'd endured.
I wasn't sure how long I stayed sitting curled up in the shower before the water turned cold and I hopped out. I wiped the mirror. I looked just like her with no makeup. I hated it. It was the reason I painted myself up like trash every day. I let my eyes roam over my entire frame. I had cuts littering my entire body. I hated that. I hated her. I hated me. I pulled on my clothes as quick as possible and straightened up a little before letting myself out of the bathroom.
Carlisle or Esme had obviously let their self in to my room. There was a plate on the table with a large slice of chocolate cake and a small note. I picked up the note first. It said there was always room for cake and then there was a series of numbers that I guessed were for the laptop beside the cake. He'd loaned me his personal lap top. I defiantly liked the both of them.
I took a bite of cake and collapsed at the table with the laptop and typed in the password. The screen brightened to life and I felt a little sick. His screen saver was a bright picture, taken on the beach. He was wearing some khaki shorts and a bright blue and purple floral shirt. He was holding Esme by her waist. She was smiling broadly too. She had on a knee length dress that match Carlisle's shirt and they were both shoeless. A sand castle was in front of her and on the other side was a girl, I guessed was Rose.
She was as gorgeous as her mother. She had long blonde hair too and amazing eyes. She was model tall with a long neck and amazing frame. She had on skimpy two piece and her hand was on her hip. She was sticking out her tongue at whoever the photographer was. She had a star shaped ring in her pierced stomach and a small mark on the inside of her wrist that you could barely make out. Her neck was covered with 2 different things, a sea shell chocker and a longer necklace with a star on it.
They looked so happy and so complete… it killed my appetite. I powered off the laptop and stood up dropping the chocolate cake in the trash before collapsing to my knees and bursting in to tears for the 2nd time that night.