Apologies if this oneshot sounds a little...weird, or unlikely to happen. It just came to me and I had to write it down. If you don't like it, then don't comment. If you have something constructive to say then yes, go ahead, but no negative comments, please.
But it's a fact which has most likely come up at some point before. Minion is an anthropomorphic animal (meaning he has human behaviour/characteristics), and in my opinion, I doubt an ordinary earth fish would interest him romantically – since she wouldn't have the same thoughts and emotions like he does. So, like Megamind, there's a possibility of him being attracted to girls. Yeah, I know, it's a long shot, but not impossible.
And for those of you who don't know, Kirsty is an OC who appeared in drabbles 50 and 51 of Mega Drabbles.
Disclaimer: Megamind belongs to Dreamworks. Kirsty, and any other unfamiliar characters mentioned in this story, belong to me.
At the moment this story is rated T, but a high T. It contains the use of language and references to sex. Nothing explicit. But if the rating does need to be higher, then please tell me.
And yes, I did do research about MRKH for this chapter, before you all start moaning about it being incorrect.
To Love a Human
It wasn't like he didn't want to, or didn't have the guts to ask anyone out. It was that he physically couldn't. After all, when you were a fish in a world of humans (plus two aliens), you don't really have any options when looking for love.
Minion knew this all too well. His intelligence meant that he had the same feelings, emotions and thought process as humans, and therefore he could act – and love – like them. In other words, he was an anthropomorphic animal. Which meant that hitting on an ordinary fish without such emotions would be pointless.
But trying to ask out a girl would be a big no-no. Particularly in a world with so many laws, so much religion and so many public opinions. His boss and Miss Ritchi had their share of complaints about the topic of a human sleeping with an alien, and sir was just as human as anyone else, even if he had alien origins. Minion knew that if he tried to seek love from a human he would just be bringing a huge burden of complaints and criticism upon himself – and the girl he asked out. Not to mention he couldn't even promise the hope of a family.
And he would never ever want to hurt her in such a way. The girl he'd been watching since he and his boss had become the good guys was Roxanne's new cameragirl. Kirsty Kennedy. With dark hair and chocolate coloured skin, the African American was perfection in Minion's eyes, just as Miss Ritchi was perfection in sir's.
It had caused pain to his heart, knowing that they could never really be together. It had broken his heart when he'd seen her with another guy. And that broken heart shattered further when he looked through the peep hole of Roxanne's apartment and found the girl standing there with tears in her eyes.
Instantly he opened the door without a second thought.
"Miss Kennedy?" he questioned. "Are you all right? What's wrong?"
"Is...is Roxanne there?" Kirsty asked, sniffing on her tears.
"No, she and sir went out on a date," Minion explained. "I'm watching the apartment until they get back."
"Oh," the girl spoke sadly, and turned to go.
But Minion wouldn't let her. The fish could see that there was clearly something wrong; she needed comfort, and even if his wishes of them being together could never really come true, he could at least be a good friend towards her.
"That doesn't mean you should leave," he called after her. "From the looks of things, I think you're in need of a big mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows."
At first Kirsty hesitated; she really had been hoping to talk to Roxanne. Girl to girl. But she knew how kind and caring Minion was, even if only knowing him for a few months. And that mug of hot chocolate did sound tempting. So she nodded and stepped inside, allowing Minion to shut the door behind her.
Kirsty took a seat on the couch while Minion disappeared into the kitchen to make the warm drink. As he waited for the milk to heat up the fish stole a glance over at the young woman; he wondered why she had suddenly shown up, crying her eyes out. If it was a personal matter he didn't want to pester her about it, but...if something was wrong he wanted her to open up to him. He desperately wanted to make her feel better.
Even if she doesn't want you, or you can't have her, you must do everything for her, Megamind had once told him. The alien himself had been planning on doing such after Roxanne had dumped him in the rain – even if he would still continue to be bad.
The hot chocolate was done, and after placing a few small marshmallows into the cup so they floated on top, Minion brought it into the sitting area and handed it to Kirsty. Once she thanked him he sat down, and watched her drink the warm liquid in silence.
"That's much better," she sighed, chewing on one of the marshmallows as she placed the mug on the coffee table.
Minion hesitated. He wanted to know what was wrong, but...she seemed to have calmed down, and he didn't want her crying again. He just couldn't bare to see her like that.
"Miss Ritchi will be home hopefully before midnight," Minion explained. "It's only an hour, so you can wait, if you like?"
The reminder of Roxanne on a date led to Kirsty remembering the reason she came to her co-worker's apartment in the first place, which therefore led to more tears falling from her eyes. Immediately Minion felt guilty; he should have just stayed quiet!
"Sorry, Miss Kennedy! I'm really sorry!" he apologized. "I'll just... I'll leave you alone-"
"No!" Kirsty cried out, as he stood to leave. "Stay. Being alone would be even worse. And it's not your fault. It's..."
"What?" Minion asked. "You can tell me. Whatever it is, I'm here for you."
Kirsty's brown eyes met his autumn coloured ones, before she closed them and turned away.
"Sam dumped me," she explained, sniffing away her tears.
Instantly Minion was sat by her side, his large robotic arm gently wrapped around her in a comforting motion. He was careful not to hurt her accidentally.
"What happened?" he demanded, his tone a little too threatening than what he was going for; if this boy had hurt her...
"He...he wanted to do it with me," Kirsty explained. "I told him that I couldn't; that it was too soon. He tried to force me and I couldn't take it, so I blurted out the real reason why I couldn't. I'd been hoping not to tell him until we were in a more serious relationship. At first he thought I was lying; then I told him I could prove it. In the end he said I wasn't worth his time so kicked me out his apartment. Then when I tried to go back I overheard him on the phone to some other bitch already."
Minion restrained from pulling her into a tighter hug, out of fear of hurting her. In his mind he made plans to borrow Megamind's dehydration gun and pay this Sam a visit...
"Why didn't you want to do it with him?" the fish asked.
"It's not the fact that I didn't want to," Kirsty continued. "It's the fact that I can't physically do it."
She trailed off, turning away from him with sad eyes.
"You can tell me," Minion spoke.
"I have something called MRKH," she explained. "Basically I don't have a uterus and my vagina is a mess. Those are-"
"I know what those are," Minion interrupted. "When you serve a mad scientist you find out these things."
"How does he know what they are?"
"Remember that sir had a crush on Miss Ritchi for a long time, and we'll leave it at that," the fish explained. "So does this mean 'doing it' is impossible for you?"
"Not really," the twenty-two year old continued. "Having children of my own is impossible. Having sex isn't impossible, but it's difficult and very painful, which is why I avoid it."
"So when did you find out about this?"
"When I was fourteen," she continued. "I was starting to get pubic hairs but my period wasn't happening. There is treatment to get rid of the pain when having sex; I tried that when I was sixteen, but my body reacted to it and made things worse, so I had to stop."
"I can see where boy troubles would come in."
"Oh, don't get me started," she began. "Too late, you have."
"I avoided having a boyfriend for the rest of high school," she continued. "Most of them were immature dicks who only wanted sex out of the girls, and the few which didn't were either not interested or already had girlfriends. I thought I would have a fresh start when I went to college."
"And you didn't?"
"No," she replied, shaking her head. "There was this one guy who was really sweet; his name was Matt. We were really getting along well, and he wasn't interested in having sex at all. But then he told me about how much he wanted a family of his own once he had a stable job, and since I couldn't give him that, I had to end things with him. He deserved a girl who could give him a family."
"It's OK," Kirsty continued. "The rest of the boys were all over me once we broke up. But since these were the type of guys who liked to bed girls on a first date, I turned them all done. There was one who, at first, seemed different. Gary was his name. He wasn't like Matt, but he still seemed like a nice guy. Showered me with gifts. One day he asked me why I turned all the other guys down, and I trusted him enough to tell him the truth. Instantly he was gone and had spread the word; turned out, he'd only gone out with me to find out why I'd turned his mates down. I didn't receive any attention from a guy throughout the rest of college."
Minion didn't know what to say. He certainly hadn't expected Kirsty to have all this history, but he wasn't turned away by it. The knowledge only made his feelings for her stronger.
"I kept away from guys when I started working at KMCP," she finished. "But when Sam came along... I really did think he could be the one, but...he's just like any other guy on this planet."
Tears began to flow again, and Kirsty tried her best to sniff them away.
"Not all guys are like that," Minion tried to explain. "Matt wasn't. And I know sir isn't, either."
"Keep in mind that Megamind isn't from this planet," Kirsty informed. "His kind had stronger emotions, according to Roxanne. And that connection...thing. This planet needs more guys like him. Ones who understand that you can have love without sex."
"Yeah," Minion agreed. "I know sir feels that way. He once told me that if Roxanne didn't want to do it with him, it wouldn't matter. He'd still love her. And Miss Ritchi said the same; if sir's reproductive organs made him unable to have sex with her, it wouldn't matter. She'd still love him."
There was silence for a moment as the pair sat there, deep in thought.
"If I was a human," Minion mused, "and I had the honour of dating you, I wouldn't mind. I'd just be lucky to have you."
Kirsty found herself smiling up at him.
"Since you're a fish you can't do it as much as I can't, so that's...better for me, in a way. I wouldn't be so much of a burden," she commented, before she found herself leaning her head against his metal chest. "Why are the sweet and caring guys the ones you can't have because of prejudices and outdated beliefs?"
At first Minion didn't answer; he was in shock that the girl was leaning her head on him.
"It's what sir and Miss Ritchi have to deal with almost every day," he eventually spoke. "Of course with them, it isn't as bad; sir's a humanoid, even if alien. But I'm...well, I'm a fish. If I tried dating someone the reactions would be a lot worse."
"It's a shame, how this world has too many laws and not enough common sense," Kirsty mused, as her hands began to play with the fake fur on the robot suit. "Because in an ideal world...I would love to date you."
And Minion's heart almost exploded from his little body.
The pair sat together for the rest of the night, just talking to one another. And when Megamind and Roxanne finally came home from their date they found the pair fast asleep on the couch, Kirsty resting against Minion. After exchanging smiles Roxanne pulled a blanket over Kirsty while Megamind switched off Minion's suit to save any accidents from happening in the night, before they both retired to Roxanne's room.
Life can sometimes be very unfair, and it's a factor people – and fish – have to learn to live with. But with the new information Minion had learnt, along with his boss's relationship with Miss Ritchi becoming more accepted, the little fish felt hope in his heart.
Maybe, one day, he could gain his happiness.