Disclaimer: DO not own

AN: Yes yes I know its been forever. Now before you guys start scolding me let me say my piece. I've have two family members die with in a year, have gained and lost a job, tried my hand at starting my own business (didn't end well), and am now scrambling to find a job to pay the bills.

So any and all flames will be used to set of 4th of July fireworks and I will just cackle at people moaning an groaning. Hey I love indulging in a bit of schadenfreude now and then.

So this is dedicated to my loyal reviewer minions and PM minions who stuck with me during the long hiatus that was life and the death of my muse. You guys are awesome you can have a cookie. BUT ONLY ONE!

Also this is a second dedication to BarrelofMonkeys with out their prodding I probably would have given up a hell of a long time ago. Thanks for poking and prodding and making me feel bad about not updating Monkey-kins

One more thing: A new feature at the end of my story is inspired by HuskyWalker. Who at the end of their story Little Seer gives a list of good stories to read. I will be doing the same. So please see the ending AN for some good reads!

And Yes I am glossing over the whole party thing it will be there but prominent

The Revenge of the Cat (boy)

Two things were certain. One carriages were evil and uncomfortable when not in cat for on someone's lap and Two corset were created by demons. They had to be. That bastard butler-demon thingy was surely evil enough to invent such a torture that women in their insanity would willing submit themselves to.

Emerald didn't know how they did it. He himself was constantly on the verge of screaming 'OW my twisted torso! OW!' How he held it in was a mystery. The time for his internal musing and screams of anguish had past however as they arrived at the Viscount's party.

With in moments of stepping inside the door Emerald wanted to bolt. It was LOUD. His poor ears were in agony and all he wanted to do was shift and find a nice big bed to hide under.

"Oh ye sweet place of dark quiet and enviable defensive position where art thou in my time of need?" Emerald quietly whined to himself only to have that smirking evil bastard of a butler pinch him in an unmentionable place in reprimand.

"Naughty kitty" Said the so called evil smirking bastard just loud enough for his ears to pick up through the ruckus around them.

Emerald glared. It achieved nothing but gaining him a chuckle and patronizing smirk as the butler in disguise disappeared among the multitude of guest. The result of that comment was one Sebastian would come to look back with a modicum of fear in future years. For in that moment the Emerald pet cat/boy of Elizabeth Middleton mentality reseeded and Harry Potter second generation marauder, silent back of the Weasley twins, prankster extraordinaire was brought forth.

The first thing he would do? Slink off to a hidden corner and shift. Then he would go find Lizzie, he could smell her, and alert her to the fact that her fiancé was somewhere in the vicinity. That should give that smug bastard something to do. Let him scramble to conceal that his dear young master was here, dresses as a girl no less. He would have to ward off Lizzie's search while trying to protect Ceil and keep people from noticing the disappearance of the 'young lady' in pink AND her companion because if one was found to be missing they would automatically look for the other for surely the 'young ladies' would be together in some corner gossiping about something coquettish and silly. The uproar once they were discovered missing however. Well Harry would give all the gold in Gringotts to see that butler cover that up.

However before he could enact what would be the prologue to the greatest chapter in pranking history

He herd a loud thump. Turning around in an instant to assess a probable treat Emerald saw that damn butler in a mask, a large trunk in his grasp, claiming to be the entertainment for the night, a magician. And the smug bastard was asking for volunteers to stab swords into the chain wrapped trunk with him in it.

"Screw my original plan!" Emerald whispered to himself as he ducked into a hidden servants passage and promptly banished his corset and transfigured his clothes into something a lot more manly.

With in seconds he was moving through the crowd to the front of the line so fast one would have thought he was nothing but a figment of their imagination if not for the slight bump he gave some of them. Moments later he was at the fount of the crown and snatching swords from a stunned Lau and jamming with through the trunk with such ferocity that the already horrified people were shocked that a ferocity stronger than that of Lau existed. Others tittered thinking it was all apart of the show. Inside the trunk Sebastian was in a fair amount of pain. The swords before had done little more than itch. But these! These were charged with that strange energy that his little kitten possessed, and DAMN did it smart.

Emerald inwardly cackled with glee as he shoved the swords through various sensitive parts of the human anatomy with various painful hexes and curses charging the blade.

'Suffer you bastard suffer' Emerald inwardly crowed as he charged the last sword with a week cruciatus cruse. Hey while he had morals the smirking bastard was a demon, it was LEGAL in the wizarding world to use any and all measures to protect themselves from such creatures. Even using the unforgivables against demons was fully accepted. Handy little loop hole that.

Sadly Emerald's sadistic fun time had to end. He had run out of swords and the smirking bastard would shortly emerge from the trunk. For obvious reasons he didn't want to be with in reaching distance of the bastard for a bit, plus he had a little shopping list he needed to take care of. Emerald promptly disappeared into the crowd of spectators moments before Sebastian emerged from the trunk seemingly unharmed, though truly he was very sore, to tremendous cheers and applause with a smirk on his face.

Sebastian immediately scanned the crowd for his wayward kitten but saw no sign of him. As he was about to search more thoroughly the Faustian seal connecting him and Ceil via their contract flared. The little lord was in danger and calling for his assistance. What… unfortunate timing.

Emerald the cat was confidently slunk down the streets of London heading towards The Leaky Caldron, and the gateway to the magical alleys concealed behind its doors. Soon he was shifting back to him, mostly, human form and transfiguring his already transfigured dress from a suit to a set of resplendent wizards robes. Once he was sure he looked appropriate for the fashion standards of the time for the wizarding world, which were ridiculously strict, He entered the pub, With out a glance he headed straight back and once he reached the little ally behind the Leaky he tapped the code for Parallelally.

Parallelally was the tourist and entertainment district of Magical London. It's shop were open later than Diagonally, but It didn't have the reputation that Horizontalally, its sister ally and subsequent red-light district had. Emerald would easily be able to find the objects he wanted here in one of the gift shops and the pet accessory boutique respectively. A few simple prank items and a whistle and Sebastian wouldn't know what hit him.

A quick stop into the newly opened Zonko's , pre store fame, and exactly three galleons and he had the basis of his revenge. Another stop into the pet accessory boutique, and a high way robbery price later, he had the final piece to the puzzle that was revenge of the demonic butler of the Phantomhive family.

One disapperation later he was at the back door of the Phantomhive town house. Using the key he had been issued upon his press ganging into the young earl's service he was inside and half way up the starts in hardly more than a blink on an eye. With an evil grin and a cackle that would have convinced any human listener that he was the devil himself Emerald went about putting his plans into action. Pleased with his preparations and after planting a few decoys in case the demon butler had a paranoid streak . With in the hour Emerald was contentedly back in cat form sleeping on a bed he himself had made, under the bed.

'People don't know what they're missing. Sleeping under the bed is the best' was the last coherent thought of Emerald the cat.

He woke early the next morning and quietly as he could slunk down to the kitchen to pour him self a cup of tea with a side cup of cream. A piece of toast and a kipper later he was about to go about the duties he had been assigned in the Phantomhive house when he was grabbed from behind and his ears were fondled by the dastardly, evil…incredibly good ear at scratching demon of a butler. It was a few minuets before Harry was able to shake himself from the sudden onset of ear scratching bliss. A quick shift of his nails into claws later he took a swipe at the butler and hisses at him.

"No I don't want my ears scratched! I want my breakfast cream." He said knowing who childish he sounded. He was banking on him acting more cat like distracting the butler from his usual molesting activates.

Sebastian didn't even get a chance to respond before Madam Red's inept butler Grell stumbled into the kitchen some how nearly knocking over the china cabinet while he was at it. Sebastian was successfully distracted from Emerald as he moved to steady the cabinet holding the expensive and ludicrously expensive and fragile china and glassware. It was then that Emerald took his chance and with a subtle pulse of his magic, disguised as a reaction to annoyance at the loud wails of the inept Grell, to activate the prank that would plague Sebastian for the next week no matter what he did. Sebastian now smelled of meat, and his person now carried a subtle compulsion charm aimed at dogs, oh so slightly altered by Emerald, to encourage dogs to chase after the scent.

One blow of a magical dog whistle charmed to be heard for miles also with added completion charm courtesy of Emerald hundreds of dogs with him the ten mile radius of the whistle started gathering around the house. As soon as that damn butler stepped outside he would be swarmed and stalked by any and all dogs in the vicinity. Luckily there was enough supplies for the people in the house for the next week, courtesy of Emerald making a second stop while in paralellally. It seemed that the search for Jack the Ripper would have to be put on hold. Or it would for the humans. Emerald had no doubt that the young Earl would still send Sebastian out regardless of his little problem. After all the Emerald had forgotten to acquire more tea, or any thing remotely required for making the earls precious sweets.

This was just the start of an interesting week. Emerald had taken the liberty of replacing the sugar in the house with salt. Those lovely tarts and pastries Sebastian had made for as breakfast options , tea and dessert? All make with salt. Yes Sebastian would be in for a difficult week. Emerald inner evil kitten was cackling with glee.

All he had to do was sit back and watch the show. Grell would only be able to be blamed for so much. After all it was Sebastian who bought supplies. Emerald went about the early morning hours as normal. While the two butlers went about waking and dressing their employers. Emerald polished the silver and shined the crystal to perfection.

The table for breakfast was set beautifully with a dainty cloth covered in lace and embroidery the delicate china was a robin's egg blue as were the silken napkins. Naturally he laid out the newly polished silver wear and crystal water goblets to be filled with the preferred cool beverage of the drinker. The final touch was the silver tea set with both tea and coffee pots as well as the accompaniment of cream pitcher and sugar bowl. The only bowl in the house actually holding sugar. He was responsible for making and serving the tea after all, and he wanted to stay on the bratty earl's good side if only so he could return to his comfortable life with Lizzie.

Everything was picture perfect by the time the Earl and his guests came down. It certainly wouldn't stay that way long.

Everything started as it normally would. A steaming cup of quality tea fixed to the drinkers preference, the first cup was either followed by another or a request for coffee. Their chilled beverage was chosen and then Sebastian came out and brought out a selection of pastries for the young Earl and his guest while listing the several options for their breakfast, It was in the middle of this explanation that the young earl selected a lovely looking apple turn over from the started pastries his Butler had brought.

It was a lovely golden color with it's top sprinkled liberally with coarse granules of sugar. He took a bite as he waited for Sebastian to list the various sweets he had prepared when the horrible saltiness of the pastry hit his taste buds full force. With out even thinking of etiquette the young Earl spat the mouthful of offending pastry across the table into Madam Red's lap who leapt up with a shriek the same moment Ceil turned to his butler livid demanding to know what his butler thought he was doing. That rant was bisected by Madam Red's screeching about etiquette and the horrid manners her dear nephew had exhibited and blaming bad influences for corrupting him, namely Sebastian.

This all scared Grell who leapt into the air and landed most inappropriately on Mao Rin. Which enraged the normally apathetic woman, who started raining down blows on the poor butler's head. This further angers a livid Lau who started yelling in his native Chinese. Emerald to avoid looking suspicious acted shocked and frightened and 'hid' curled in a ball in a far corner 'shaking from fear' or laughter which ever worked.

It took roughly ten minuets for things to calm down. The result was several smashed vases, a dented silver service, a severely bruised and bloody Grell, a shamefaced Ceil, a angry and disappointed aunt and one hell of a butler in a bad position.

Sebastian being a demon and therefore not above lying through his teeth proclaimed that someone must have broken in and stolen the sugar and several other food stuffs. And replaced the stolen sugar with salt and other items to delay discovery. While this soothed most of the ruffled feathers of the guests, Ceil who had experience with Sebastian's early cooking assumed Sebastian had messed up the food and ordered him to go buy some more of the missing items. After serving them the savory breakfast option of course.

As soon as Sebastian stepped out the door, as Harry being part cat did NOT want them him the house and thus had warded the house against them, was beset by dogs. Mutts, purebreds, pet, and strays every dog with in ten miles had congregated at the door waiting for the butler to make an appearance. They leapt at him intend on getting a nice sized chunk of the meat they smelt, the compulsion charm over riding the natural wariness they had when faced with the human guise of the demon. Fortunately for Sebastian he was too quick for them. A few flips and a couple leaps and he was clear of the dogs… Only for another way to come as the dogs in this area were drawn to him as well.

Needless to day Sebastian was annoyed by the time he got back to the Phantomhive house. This whole debatable of a morning had set them back fifteen minuets behind schedule add the five minuets he wasted avoiding the dogs, which led him to stealing ingredients rather than buying them. Now he had to rearrange everything on the schedule. And he knew exactly who was to blame for this. His little kitten had claws and needed to be tamed and he was just the demon to do it.

For the remainder of the week Sebastian tried to teach his 'little kitten' a lesson with varying degrees of success and failure. By the end of the week it was set firmly in his mind as well as Emeralds that they were evenly matched when it came to humiliating non lethal revenge. For Emerald all this did was reassure him that he could hold his own. It was also gained him a truce with the demon. For Sebastian all it did was cement the fact that Emerald WAS fit to be his make and he would finish marking his as thus at a later date. For now he would let the kitten think he had won. He was a smart demon after all.

And it was the Smart demons who learned the weaknesses of their quarry instead of going in blind. Yes, he would assert his dominance when it was lease expected.

End chapter

An: OK I hope you guys like it. This has been minimally beta'd by myself as I seem to have lost my previous beta somewhere. Please mail her to me if you find her.

Ok so decent fic that you should check out I have several genre to choose from


Story: Written in the Stars

Author: TechnicolorNina

Summery: Yuugi's never been good at keeping himself out of trouble. When ancient magic gets involved, he'll learn more than a few things about himself as he tries to get home. Blindshipping/puzzleshipping.

In my humble opinion one of the best YGO stories out there

Story: Time is a Broken Glass

Author: Sanji Spellhart

Summery: After a failed summoning ritual, Atem and Bakura are brought from the past to the present and are dumped on Yugi and Ryou's doorstep. Takes place 5 years after the events of YGO. Puzzleshipping, and Gravityshipping. Lots of S and M. Beware sexual content.

For the love of all that is holy read this. The author is going to be updating this shortly, from what they have told me. This one is great and very funny.


Story: To Hell and Back

Author: Ashlynn Lionheart

Summery:Due to an unforeseen event, Harry is pushed through the Veil by the Ministry to prevent him from being corrupted by the Dark Lord. The Order can't stop it, Harry is helpless to prevent it and something goes very wrong with everyone's plans. Slash


Story: Little Seer

Author: Huskywalker

Summery: Voldemort won the first war and Harry is happy to live as an unnoticed squib at Hogwarts. Unfortunately visions and rebels don't allow that and Harry soon catch the attention of the dark lord.

Story: Courtesan

Author: Drops of Nightshade

Summery: In the prejudiced world where the Dark Lord won, Harry Potter is part of the servile caste, the lowest caste in the new society. Resigned to a life of servitude as a Courtesan, Harry is instead drawn under the wing of the Dark Lord himself. Between the scheming Order and his powerful benefactor, Harry finds himself steadily drawn deeper into the growing conflict. Eventual LV/HP.


Story: Piercing Snow

Author: Barrel of Monkeys

Summery: Dudley's innocent push starts Harry journey into Snow and beyond. An open wound grants him a wish. A mistake makes him the tool to the greatest man he had ever met. (A Harry is Haku story) Slash, violence, and a little bit of love. (Formerly Ice Ice Harry)

READ THIS! It was a fic written for me and Zabuza was loosely based on me when I am pissed off. A lot of his imaginative death treats are inspired by me too ^_^ I am very proud of my evil and bloodthirsty ways.

AN: I will try to update another story of mine soon however I am going on vacation to… Conbravo! So I have to go on a little jaunt to Canada and the farthest North I've probably ever been. And for a southern girl like me that's a tad scary.

See ya later please feel re to review and rant and all that but flames will be ignored and whines will be laughed at and printed to put on my wall.