Attention! Attention All Hosts!

Chapter 1: Here I Come

I walked through the halls of Ouran High School. It was huge! I was looking for the last library on the list so I could find a quiet place to study. I finally found it. It was crowded and loud inside. I closed the door silently. I walked through the school to find another possible study place. I sang along to the song I had on my iPod. I had just gotten back from a trip to America a month ago. I came here on scholarship. Apparently I had the highest score ever recorded. I was proud of myself. I am a second year in high school. In America I would be considered a junior. I walked through the halls and up staircase after staircase. It was then that I found the demon room. It's actually music room #3. I thought it was old and abandoned. I was wrong. I opened the doors and got assaulted by rose petals. I pulled my ear buds out to ask for the explanation as I entered the room but stopped short as I saw 4 gorgeous guys and a girl standing before me. One guy was blond. One guy had black hair and glasses. There was a set of twins. The girl had brown hair and looked a little bit like a boy with her clothes and short hair. She was pretty though.

"Welcome," they said in unison. I fought the urge to faint. I took one step back.

"Well would you look at this. I never thought the new kids would be so open," said the blond.

"What do you mean open?" I asked quietly.

"Tono you have to explain it," one twin started.

"This commoner obviously has no clue what's going on," finished the other.

"Why do I feel like I just got insulted?" I asked out loud. I was ignored because the blond and the twins were bickering.

"I am not an idiot," claimed the blond.

"Yes you are," the twins said in unison.

"Forget it. I'm leaving."I turned and started to open the door.

"Hold it," shouted the blond. I turned around to face him. "Welcome to the Host Club! What's your type?"

"My type?"

"Yes. Perhaps you go for the natural type." He pointed at the girl. "Maybe you like the cool type." He pointed to the black haired and glasses guy. I looked and thought he was pretty cute. "Maybe you like the little devils. They have wonderful brotherly love." He pointed to the twins which were holding each other really close. They looked so gay. I don't mean it as the insult people in America use sometimes for lame and such. I mean they looked totally homosexual. "Or maybe you like the princely type such as myself," he finished kissing my hand. I yelped and pulled my hand out of his grasp. I was blushing and my heart had sped up its beating. I turned around quickly and reached for the door again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone was in here." The blond turned me around.

"Before you leave, I would like to introduce my club. If you need any help, you can ask one of us." I nodded slowly. He pointed to the cool type. "That is Kyoya Ootori. He is the third son of the Ootori family and top of the third year class." Kyoya bowed. I bowed too and Blondy continued. "Those are the Hitachiin twins Hikaru and Kaoru." He pointed to them and I smiled. I bowed low like I had with Kyoya. He gestured to himself. "I am Tamaki Suoh. I am the king of this club. I can tell you're impressed!" I bowed low and acted very impressed. I really wasn't, but he was the headmaster's son. I didn't want to anger him. He pointed to the girl. She was the last one he introduced. "That is our very own natural type Haruhi Fujioka." I stood there in silence staring at her. She bowed low and smiled at me.

"It's a true pleasure to meet you." My mouth fell open. She was still awfully polite. I let a huge grin cross my face. I ran forward and glomped her. We nearly fell to the ground.

"Haruhi Fujioka it has been far too long! Do you remember me?" I felt her shake her head no.

"I'm sorry but I don't know who you are."

"Haruhi how could you forget your bestest friend forever and ever and all of eternity?" I cried out. She stood there silent and I let her go. I put my head down and backed away. "I am terribly sorry for assaulting you in such a manner. It is obvious that you don't remember me. I deeply apologize." I bowed very low. (One light bulb lit up out of a row of 5.)

"Kyon you should have told me it was you sooner." I looked up at Haruhi as she mentioned my name. My auburn hair covered my eyes. It had been since I got in the room. I shouldn't have assumed so much from her. We both looked very different after all. I smiled at her and she engulfed me in a hug. I hugged her back. After a short moment we held each other at arms length and started jumping around in a circle. We let go and I did a cartwheel. I fell afterwards. We both burst out laughing. "It really has been too long."

"I know. I missed you Haruhi."

"I missed you too Kyon. You look so different."

"You do too. It's still obvious as to who you are if I would just move my hair from my eyes and look at you. Oh well. This way was much better."

"Excuse me," I turned to the source of the voice I saw all the hosts except for Haruhi by a broken vase. Kyoya was the one that talked. "It seems you have broken our vase." I stared at it in horror.

"I'm sorry. I'll pay you back somehow. I promise this to you." He looked at me. An evil grin crossed his face. I gulped.

"Alright, that works. It is an 8 million yen vase." I almost fainted. I regained my composure.

"8 million yen. How many thousand yen are in 8 million? Let's see there is 1 thousand thousands of yen in 1 million yen. There are 8 thousand thousands of yen in 8 million yen. How will I get all that money?" I started pacing the room as I thought. Tamaki pointed his finger at me. I saw him out of the corner of my eye. I kept pacing.

"From this day forward you will be the Host Club's dog. You can work off your debt by being our little dog and maid." I turned to him with a look of horror on my face.

"What exactly do I do as your dog?"


"I wish I had never asked," I said as I stood in the dog costume they had thrown over my clothes. It was ridiculously baggy. I held my throat. I had a sore throat and I talked too much today. It made it hurt worse. My voice sounded so weird. Kyoya studied me in the dog costume.

"Tamaki I think you went a bit overboard on our new dog," he said staring at me. I frowned slightly.

"Thank you for telling him that Mr. Ootori. I would have told him myself, but I fear that it would hurt his feeling if I had been the one to say it. It also might have made him angry." Kyoya looked at me in confusion.

"You are so formal when talking to me. What grade are you in? What is your name, first and last? How old are you? Are you always so concerned about other people?"

"Uhmmmm. Should I stop being so formal? I am a second year. My name is Kyon Madaramay. I am the same age as Haruhi except a few months younger. I am always concerned about others. It makes life sad if other people are sad or mad." (A second light bulb lit up in the row of 5.)

"I guess the costume was a bit too much," Tamaki said from right next to me. I jumped and moved to the side. He looked a little hurt that I moved away from him. I guessed that he was hoping that we were going to be instant friends.

"I'm sorry but you scared me. I wasn't expecting anyone to be next to me and you spoke up so that I got scared. I apologize Mr. Suoh." He looked happier already. He hugged me and started spinning me around.

"I have a new child! You don't have to be so formal with me! You can call me Daddy!" He spun around with me until I felt dizzy. He set me down. My head was spinning.

"Woah. That was fun. That also wasn't too great of an idea. I feel a little sick."

"Oh I'm sorry! You should have said something to me! I would have stopped!"

"No it's fine. Just let me regain my balance and stand still for a moment. Also I think that it would help if I were out of this costume." He helped me take the costume off.

"Kyon can you go buy some instant coffee?"Tamaki asked once I felt better. I nodded. He handed me the money I was to use. I ran off to the super market.


"Wow. This is a lot of girls," I commented when I got back. There were girls all over the room with the hosts. I found Tamaki. "Suoh-sempai, I have the coffee." He turned to me.

"That's wonderful. You can put it on that table in the corner. And didn't I tell you to stop being so formal and call me Daddy?" I put it on the table and walked back over to him.

"I'm sorry Suoh-sempai but I would rather not call you that. There is a very good reason I won't. I assure you that there is." I smiled at him and walked off to find something to do. I found a small table in the corner that had no one sitting in it. I sat down and pulled out all my homework. I worked on it as the hosts did whatever it is that they do. I sat there after I finished and looked at the crowd of girls that were still in the room. "I don't get why all of them are so hung up on these guys." I looked over at the girls surrounding Tamaki. "Especially them." They let out a high pitched squeal. I covered my ears until I saw their mouths close. I put everything back in my bag. I sighed and walked over to the doors. I stood there staring at the beauty and detail.

"How are you my lost puppy?" Tamaki asked before blowing on the back of my neck. I jumped away from him and turned around rubbing my neck.

"Please don't do that again. How do you always pop up like that? Are you a ninja or something?" He snickered.

"No. I am not a ninja. Do you want to be a host?"

"Uhmmmm. I don't really know."

"Let me give you lessons in being a gentleman!"

"Thank you but I don't need any lessons." I smiled and all the hosts gathered around me.

"No girl is gonna look at him when he's like that," said one of the twins. No one had told me which one was which yet.

"Yeah, maybe if his hair was out of his eyes," the other continued, pushing my hair back. They all gasped except Haruhi and Kyoya.

"Kyoya call my hair stylist. Twins change his clothes to the school uniform."

"I don't need a hair stylist. I can style my hair out of my eyes if I want. I just prefer not to. And I can change myself. No offense or anything." The twins picked me up and ran out of the room with me. They ran to a makeshift dressing room and pulled out a boy's uniform. They started walking towards me with the intention of changing me themselves. I was against the wall. "I'll change myself. Will you two please leave the room though?" They shrugged and gave me the uniform. They left and the curtain I was behind got left open. I closed it in a hurry. They watched me do it. (Two more light bulbs lit up.)


"I'm ready to be a host," I said as I walked into the hosting room behind the twins. Tamaki looked at me with interest. Kyoya didn't take his eyes off of the black book he had. Haruhi smiled and walked over to me.

"You looked great Kyon. You can try to get customers by sitting with me and my customers for the rest of the day." I smiled at Haruhi and went with her like she suggested. The day ended soon after. Once it was done I got told that I had to get 5 thousand girls to request me. My mouth dropped. Haruhi's did too. "That's more than you gave me. Be lenient Kyoya-sempai!"

"No Haruhi. It's alright. I can do it." I smiled at her and we all went home.


"What kind of life do you have at home?" one of the girls asked. I decided I would answer truthfully. My throat didn't hurt anymore so it worked out well. It was the first day I got to have customers. I told the story to her and the other girl that was with us. When I was finished, she spoke up again. "If your mother is always working, who does all the cooking and cleaning?"

"I do. I'm the only one in my family that knows how to cook. I'm also the only one that cleans thoroughly."

"You didn't mention your father."

"I suppose I didn't. That story isn't something I want to say."

"Why? Is he dead?" The other girl asked finally speaking up.

"No. I just don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry. It hurts too much to say." I looked away. They both looked so sad when I looked back up. One got tears in her eyes. "Please don't cry or get sad. It's nothing too terrible. It's not like he's abusive or anything. My family is just full of problems. I'm sure that it will all work out someday. There really is no reason to be sad." They looked at me and it looked as if they were still sad. "I'm sorry for making you so sad," I said putting my head down.

"No! We're perfectly fine! We aren't sad!" I looked at them. They had said it in unison. I decided I should try to be charming to them and honest.

"You're sure that you aren't sad? I couldn't live with myself if I had made two girls as beautiful as yourselves sad in the slightest." I looked at them with regretful eyes. They squealed. "Are you two ok?" I asked in concern. They nodded as hearts filled their eyes. "That's good. I hope that it stays that way." I smiled at them in my most charming way. They looked at me with interest so I winked at them to make them squeal. They did and it looked like they were about to melt as they sank in their chairs. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Uh-huh," one said.

"Of course we are," the other said as she sank lower in her chair.

"You should sit up. I don't want either of you to hurt your back sitting like that. That would be terrible." They both sat up and stared at me. It made me feel uneasy to get all this attention.


"Finally a break. I can't take too much longer of having girls giving me so much attention," I told Haruhi as I stretched my arms. We were sitting on the wall of the fountain. She nodded as I stretched my legs. While I was stretching my legs I fell backwards into the fountain. I stood up in a hunched over position. I was soaking wet. I looked at Haruhi. "I need to change and dry off." She nodded and we ran to the club room. She pushed me into the dressing room and started ordering everyone. In a few moments I had a new uniform and a towel. I started to get out of my wet uniform. Tamaki walked in with towels.

"Kyon I brought you some extra towels." I turned around and saw that he was staring at me. I screamed and he dropped the towels as he stumbled backwards out of my changing room. (The fifth and final light bulb lit up.) "Kyon, you're a girl?"

"Biologically speaking I am. If you take in the way I dress and the way I act, I would seem like a boy."I opened the curtain and looked at them while I was wearing the girl's uniform. They stared at me. Kyoya's eyes grew very wide. I knew he had found out I was girl a long time ago. "Are you alright Mr. Ootori?" I asked in concern.

"Yes. Could you do one thing for me?"

"What is it Mr. Ootori?"

"Stop calling me Mr. Ootori. Kyoya is fine."

"Ok Kyoya-sempai." I looked at them. "This might turn out to be a good thing for me. I was always the shy girl. Even when I was in America, I was the shyest person there. This will be a great opportunity for me to come out of my shell. I think I'm going to call everyone dude from now on so that I can pull this off."

"My little girl will not say such terrible boy words as that!"

"Suoh-sempai? Are you alright?"

"Of course I am! Just don't say that word ever again!" I backed away and hid in the dressing room. Tamaki threw open the curtain. "Don't say dude! Stop calling me Suoh-sempai! Please call me Daddy."

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm sorry! I can't! I'm sorry Tamaki-sempai!"

Me- Tamaki, stop being so mean to Kyon.

Tamaki- She needs to act like the girl she is!

Kyon- Help me Amii!

Me- See? You scared her! Be nice!

Tamaki- Ok. I'll be nice.

Me- Good. Kyoya could you do the disclaimer? Haruhi could you make Tamaki be good? Twins I have nothing for you to do so just don't get in their way ok?

Everyone- *nods*

Me- Good. I'm tired.

Kyoya- Amii doesn't own Ouran High School Host Club or any of us except for the random girls and Kyon.

Twins- Join us for the next chapter!