Yes. Another chapter. And one that all of the previous readers may not know, but the ones that do...I'm sure it's every girl's dream.
It was once again Mother's Day, and little Bobby had no idea what to get. His mother had tired of her ZombieDick, and he had planned to get attachments! But no, she no longer wanted to play. He sighed and grabbed the same pen and pad of paper he did this exact day one year ago, ready to think up some gifts.
Little Bobby jumped at the sudden sound; he had completely forgotten that he had the television on. On the screen was a young man with blond curls and piercing blue eyes. "Are…are you talking to me?"
The man smiled, soon identified as 'Peeta Mellark: Victor and War Veteran' in the bottom left corner of the screen. "Of course you! Mother's Day has come once again, and I'm guessing that you have yet to find the perfect gift for that wonderful woman in your life? Your mother, of course." He winked.
Bobby sat up and smiled, nodding.
"We're guessing you bought a ZombieDick last year, correct?" Peeta looked at the screen with pitying eyes.
"Yes!" Bobby's eyes lit up.
Peeta nodded, his smile sweet as sugar. "Recently, we've noticed that we have been losing buyers. People just seem sick of our ZombieDick – surprisingly – so we have come up with a new invention!" He rubbed his hands together and stepped to the left, allowing the audience to see the absolutely wonderful vision to the right. "The new Zombie creation…ZombieFinnick!"
Peeta moved closer to the portrait of the golden god of a man, in nothing but the same net outfit he was forced into during the Tribute Parade in the 75th Hunger Games. "We have also adorned him with a new and improved touch screen control pad, which we think keeps up with the times."
"Now, let's get to the details." He rubbed his hands together with a smirk.
Bobby thought he should close his eyes, but he was a year older now. He had to be a man and suck it up.
There was a close-up on ZombieFinnick's face, showing off his bright sea green eyes and bronze hair. Peeta motioned toward the locks, running a couple of fingers through it. "Now, for the full real District 4 experience, we kept his hair nice and course from all that time in the ocean. None of that Capitol nonsense." Peeta scrunched his nose in distaste.
"Now, for the wonderful new touch screen control pad, right on the back of his neck! Perfectly positioned and easy to hide." He pushed a button in the form of a heart of the 'home' screen, where multiple options came up. He winked at the camera. "First, let's start with the body part options." There were different sections, one with upper body and another with lower body. Each section was full of many more, getting more detailed as you go. Peeta pushed the arm button on the screen. "Now, there are many things you can do with his arms."
Bobby moved closer.
Peeta motioned to different buttons, with positions that really shouldn't be allowed on television. "Now, the options go from PG to M in ratings. First, the massage setting." He pushed the button, then moved in front of the ZombieFinnick, who went on to give him a massage. "Brilliant!" He shrunk down to get out of the Zombie's arms, then moved back to the panel. "Now, at the very bottom is the 'Wacker', as we like to call it. I won't demonstrate that." He winked.
He went out of the upper body, and then clicked on the lower body. "Now, I know this is the one that you all REALLY wanted to see." Multiple images of different penis positions were shown.
Now Bobby really shouldn't be looking.
"Each of these gives different effects to the…nether region of this finely sculpted figure." He clicked on one with small lines around it. The camera zoomed out to show the full ZombieFinnick. The object in question was vibrating underneath the net cover, almost moving it aside. "All the pleasure for the ladies right there! I should know; a certain someone seems to enjoy it…" He glanced to the side, muttering something about 'Katniss' and 'not enough stamina'. He shook his head and smiled back at the screen.
The camera is back on ZombieFinnick, put now closed in on his torso. "Now, it's no secret that the man has some rockin' abs. I mean, how else would he have gotten one of the most expensive gifts in an arena ever? Well, besides his face, that is."
Bobby could practically hear the squeals of girls from around the world.
"Now, for the different effects for this wonderful area." Peeta disappeared behind the ZombieFinnick, and soon his pecs were doing some form of 'dance', or so it seemed. Peeta came back and wiggled is eyebrows. "Now, put all of these things together, and you've created a sex god. Much like the real thing!"
Peeta cleared his throat before turning the Zombie off and allowing the lights to dim. "Now, realizing our mistake last time, we have created the Annie antivirus." He smiled with his hands clasped. "We're thinking ahead!"
The camera zoomed onto Peeta's face. "Call now, and you'll get a deal! Not only will you get a ZombieFinnick, but a complementary Quarter Quell tribute suit – easily shredded off – and a vibrating starfish with very LONG arms." Another well-placed wink. "All, for only $4,444.44!"
The screen turned white with small moving black letters being read very quickly. "If you are afraid of water, the ZombieFinnick may not be for you. The perfect positioning for the ZombieFinnick is near the sea – beach house is recommended. If you have oddly colored hair, or enjoy clown-like makeup, buying the ZombieFinnick is not advised."
Bobby smiled at the screen and dialed the number. "There's no way mom will get tired of this one!"
Yes, this happened.
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