A/N: And we're back! This is tazitz and I am here with the fourth Caramelotti Publication and I have to say… Its definitely crack!fic! This one is a CrissColfer RPF that has a plot line warranting an M rating. If you don't like RPF or CrissColfer or mature… subjects, hit the back button. Well, it won't become mature until the 6th chapter, so keep that in mind.
Also, we would love to get some more reviews from our readers! We want to know what you like, what you don't like (constructively, not in an asshole way!), and we also would LOVE to hear some of your guys ideas for what we can write about! The seven of us are seemingly on drugs most of the time (high on lack of sleep), so we do tend to come up with a bunch of crazy ass ideas, but we need inspiration just like everyone else, SO TELL US WHAT YOU WANT TO READ! It can be CrissColfer or Klaine… (I'd even accept Flaine or KuBlinn… But that's just me!)
Anyway… Thank you guys SO much for sticking with us, even after the whole cockblocking misunderstanding. Go forth, read, and review!
Chris was napping in his trailer in between scenes when suddenly loud knocking startled him awake. "What the..." he trailed off to himself yanking the metal door open. Darren was standing in front of him, panting. Suddenly it came back to him; Darren was supposed to meet Chris to run lines a half an hour ago.
"Shit, Chris, I'm so sorry I forgot all about our plans," he explained quickly, "I got here as fast as I could." Chris checked his watch.
"Calm down, we don't have to be in makeup for another two hours." His costar let out a sigh.
"I know, but fuck- I just didn't want you to think I completely fucking forgot about you." Chris tried not to cringe at Darren's excessive cursing; he always tended to have a bit of a potty mouth but it got much worse whenever he was worked up over something.
"It's okay, we can run lines now," Chris said yawning, and motioned Darren inside. Darren followed Chris quickly, collapsing on the couch dramatically.
"I just should have fucking remembered. You only reminded me like a million times yesterday and I..."Darren trailed off as he looked at Chris. Chris had also grabbed a seat and looked exhausted. "You okay Chris?" Darren asked.
"Yeah, just woke up from a nap," Chris responded stretching. As he stretched his shirt rose an inch or two and Darren could not look away.
Snapping back to the present, Darren said, "Ok so what scene are we rehearsing?"
Chris mumbled for a moment before saying, "Coffee shop." Darren nodded then looked around and realized he didn't have his script.
"Goddammit! I think I left my script in my trailer." Darren said. Chris shook his head.
"Its fine, we can just share mine. I have most of my lines memorized anyway." Darren grinned.
"Way to fucking make everyone else look bad Chris! It's only the second fucking day back on set and you've already set the fucking standard." Chris rubbed the sleep out of his eye with one hand while he handed Darren his script with the other.
"Darren, is it really necessary to use the f word after every other word?" Chris yawned and shot an annoyed look at his co-worker. Darren raised an eyebrow and Chris couldn't help but think how sexy Darren looked when he did that.
"What the hell are you talking about Colfer? I don't use the "f word"," he mimed the quotation marks, "every other word. Shit, I didn't even say it in that whole damn sentence!" Again, Chris sighed.
"No, you may not have used it in that sentence, but you cursed three times in that sentence alone!" Chris shot back. "Do you know what they say about people who curse?" Darren shook his head no. "They say that people who curse are people who don't have anything intelligent to say." Darren's jaw dropped.
"Hey, I resent that! I have a shit ton of intelligent things to say! Just because I insert fuck or shit or hell into my speech doesn't mean I'm a fucking Neanderthal!"
"DARREN." Chris threw his hands up, laughing. It wasn't funny, but he was just amazed how awful his mouth was sometimes. Darren blinked, shrugging his shoulders.
"My mother used to say every time someone swears, God kills a kitten."
"Well shi-oot. If that's true then there wouldn't be any cats left on the planet. I'm sorry if it bothers you that much-"
"I just don't think you can stop yourself," Chris interrupted, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm willing to bet you can't actually." A wicked grin spread across his lips, causing Darren to get a little worried.
"Chris, you know damn well I can do anything I set my mind to! I could stop swearing whenever the fuck I wanted to!" Darren retorted. Chris raised an eyebrow.
"Really? You really think you can stop swearing?" Darren put his hands on his hips.
"Hell yeah I can!" Chris thought for a second, a smirk forming on his lips.
"Okay, this is the challenge, starting now, every time you swear, I get to tickle you."
"You're—you're going to fucking tickle me, Chris? Is that supposed to be a punishment or some shit?" Chris just shrugged.
"Yes, yes it is! I know for a fact that you're quite ticklish, so I think it would be a suitable punishment! As for the punishment, I do believe you've sworn after the challenge had started, so I'm pretty sure that means that I get to tickle you, Darren." Darren tried to back away, but he was too slow. He was caught by Chris' hands tickling his sides.
"Ch-ris, st-top, please! Shit that tickles!" Chris only tickled harder when Darren swore again. "Fu-ahhhh!" Darren wheezed. The two of them had fallen of their chairs and Chris was now straddling the smaller man. "I st- I stopped that time!" Chris lifted his hands.
"Are you done swearing?"
"I can't believe you are actually doing this!" The taller man cocked an eyebrow.
"You didn't answer my question."
"Yes! If you stop, I will!" Darren shouted. Chris grinned with satisfaction before rolling off him.
"Good. Now let's run lines." Darren groaned and clambered back onto his seat. He felt oddly lonely without Chris on top of him, but he shrugged it off. Chris raised his eyebrow again, asking Darren if he was ready to begin and Darren gestured with his hands as if to say 'go ahead'. "Blaine, wait up!" Chris started, in character.
"What's going on, Chr- aww fuck," Darren caught his flub, but realized his second mistake too late as Chris dived at him again. Darren braced himself for the impact and received a lapful of Chris, who started tickling him immediately. This time, Chris was relentless, not stopping at all.
"Chris. Ah.. please stop," Darren begged . Chris continued as if he didn't hear Darren, tickling his sides where Darren was most ticklish. Darren laughed hysterically trying to wiggle out of Chris' grasp, which made him shift in a way that sent a jolt of pleasure through his body. Darren immediately froze and Chris continued for a second but then stopped when he realized Darren wasn't moving or laughing anymore, and backed away.
"Are you okay? I didn't do anything wrong did I? Oh god... did I hurt you?" Chris asked.
Blushing, Darren responded, "No, I'm okay. Uh, let's just continue the lines, okay?"
"Right," Chris said, also blushing, adding, "I think... I was just calling out for Blaine to wait..." Darren nodded and Chris started again. "Blaine! Wait up!"
"What's going on Kurt? I was just on my way to the cafeteria. I'm meeting—fuck, that was the wrong part." Chris lunged at Darren, pinning the boy between his knees and against the couch, his hands going directly to Darren's arm pits, the boy flailing under his hold.
"Chris! Please! Please stop!" he yelled breathlessly. As Darren's body flailed about, his hips hit directly into Chris's.
"Darren… are you..?" Darren pushed the taller boy off of him.
"I think we need to finish rehearsing these damn lines, Chris. I'm never going to get them right." Chris looked back towards Darren, his eyebrow raised.
"You do realize you swore yet again, you know what that means, right?"
After running lines for half an hour and heading to hair and make-up, the pair was ready to begin shooting the scene they had been practicing. While Brad was giving staging directions to Chris, Darren was messing around with the bike that was supposed to be a prop in their scene. He started riding it around and around the set, careful not to hit anyone who was actually doing their job.
"DARREN!" Darren's head shot up as he heard Brad call him name. "Get your ass over here so we can start shooting!" Darren turned handlebars to the bike and started heading back in Brad and Chris' general direction. He looked on as Brad said something to Chris that made the pale boy laugh. Darren couldn't help but stare as Chris doubled over, his hair falling into his face and his cheeks turning bright red. He continued to stare, taking note of Chris' shirt riding up on the side and showing off a pale ivory hip bone. What he didn't take note of, however, was the intern who decided to walk in front of him.
"Oh my god!" Darren jerked the handlebars to the extreme left as he heard the intern exclaim his panic. He lost control of the bike and unceremoniously landed on the set with a crash.
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, OH FUCKING GOD ALL MIGHTY IN HELL!" He howled in pain, clutching his left leg to his chest. Chris ran over to him. "Oh my god, Chris, it hurts so ba…" He got cut off as Chris dug his fingers into Darren's side. "Ahhh, Chris! Fucking stop it, I'm in so much pain, this shouldn't get to count!" He tried shoving the taller boy away from him, but Chris held his ground.
"You know what? Karma's a bitch. I'll let you go, though, since you're in pain; you punished yourself." Darren attempted to stand, but when he stood on his foot in question, it collapsed beneath him.
"Shi-ooooot!" He drew out, putting emphasis on the fact he caught himself when he realized something. "Hey Chris, you just swore! That's not fair!"
"It's a figure of speech! Besides, I don't have a sailor mouth like you, so I'm entitled to swear every now and then." Darren angrily pressed his lips together.
"You are soooo going to get it."
"I guess you'll have to catch me first!" Chris smirked before turning to run off. Darren moved to follow- forgetting about his injury- and fell to the ground again. He frowned and slumped his shoulders in defeat. From behind him, Brad groaned.
"You two will be the death of me. Someone help Darren back to his trailer; I'll send someone to look at your foot. I guess we'll just have to push the scene to tomorrow, but Ryan will not be happy about this..." He trailed off before stalking away.