Beginning A.N.- The story of this story is weird. My muse, which I have just recently acquired from Muses 'R' Us at 73rd and Strang Line Boulevard, because I lost my old one... in the black pit that is my dryer. Told me to make fun of fangirls. She suggested all sorts of cruel and unusual punishments for the writers of alt. and SI fics. I said to her, that's mean, but it does sound fun. My muse and I also noted, that we could see the slayers adventures becoming very well known in Sayruun, through word-of-mouth. That's one of the main premises of this fic. So this is the modified version of my muse's evil fangirl treatment. I think it makes fun of me more than anyone else, Juniper tries to play matchmaker, like I do. Tehee. Anyway this fic will run two-three parts, and will be a humorous romance. Z/A coupling only, they are the only slayers characters that appear in this ficcy of doom. Also just so you know, my friend asked. Amelia did not tell her maid-servants her and Zel were going out, she however may have said something about liking him, and she definitely told them she found him attractive. Me thinks Amelia needs to get her maidservants to sign confidentiality agreements. Also you'll notice use of fangirl terms like "kawaii" and "bishounen" in this fic, not something I normally use, but it works here.
By Kelly M. O'Connor
"Who is he?" one woman whispered to another in the marketplace of Sayruun, she pulled her child to her in a protective embrace.
"I don't know but he looks to be heading toward the palace," the other woman replied, "He sure has a suspicious vibe. Too mysterious, I hope he doesn't get in the palace." The two woman looked at the cloaked pedestrian and nodded.
"Certainly could use a little sense in fashion, I bet he's really handsome in that evil vindictive I'm going to kill you sort of way." The cloaked pedestrian clenched his fist and walked towards the women.
"Do you two mind?" he asked, "I'm sorry if I don't meet your wholesome expectations, but I don't really care. I'm here to use the library, I don't think there's much harm in that." The two woman eeked, and walked away, but the little girl squeezed out of her mother's arms ands stayed behind.
"The library is that way," one woman's young girl said. Zelgadiss cursed silently, sighed exasperated, and raised his arms in frustration.
"I mean the palace library," Zel replied, "Regular libraries don't have what I'm looking for!" Why am I arguing with a child! Zel thought to himself.
"Oh!" the girl giggled, "Then you must know the royal family well, 'cuz otherwise you wouldn't be able to get in. That's so cool. I wish I knew the princess and she would invite me over and she could babysit me and let me try on the dresses from when she was my age. Princess Amelia has such pretty dresses, she's beautiful. Don't you think she's beautiful Mr... Um... what's your name?" Zelgadiss sweatdropped.
"It's Zelgadiss, Zelgadiss Greywords. Yes I suppose she is kind of pretty," he blushed, "Now I need to lea---"
"WOW! The Zelgadiss Greywords? The one who traveled with Princess Amelia and the bandit killer Lina Inverse?" Zelgadiss nodded. "I'm Juniper Rose. I'm ten years old. I'm such a big fan of yours!"
"Fan?" Zelgadiss managed to squeek out. Juniper Rose nodded and clamped her arms around Zelgadiss' waist.
"Yes, Here in Sayruun the Slayers adventures are so famous! You're my favorite character. My friend is totally head over heels for Gourry Gabriev, but I think you're much more interesting!" Juniper said with great excitement.
"I'm your favorite character?" Juniper nodded and Zelgadiss couldn't help but smile a bit. "So did Amelia like call a town meeting and relate our adventures to everyone?" Juniper giggled.
"No that would take like... forever! She's always telling her maidservants and anyone else in the palace lots of stories, and they get out. Like yesterday I heard this great one about you in a bunny suit! It was so funny!" Zelgadiss twitched.
"It was incredibly embarassing and I wish not to think about it," Zel replied pursing his lips tightly. Juniper squeezed the chimera ever more tightly.
"Oh you're just as cool as I imagined. You act just like I've heard, I'm so happy!" Juniper squealed. Zelgadiss pulled away.
"Ok I am now officially frightened," Zelgadiss said as he pulled out of the adoring ten year old's death grip.
"I wish you'd take your hood off, I'd love to see you. I know you're a chimera, but I don't really know what you look like except you're blue, with stone skin, and Princess Amelia said you were really really cute!" Zelgadiss blushed. Amelia said I was cute? He thought.
"I'm not cute, I'm a freak. You should be a Gourry fan," Zelgadiss shook his head. Juniper pouted. "Alright, If I take you out for some of Sayruun's famous soft serve, take my hood off, and tell you a story about me having to wear a dress will you leave me alone so I can go to the library?"
"Is it the one about the town of Femille?" Zel nodded, "I've heard that one like eight times. All the children in Sayruun love to play like they're the characters. I'm always Amelia and my guy friend is you and we play like we're going out on a date..." Zel decided to brush that last comment off.
"So are we going or not?" he asked. Juniper nodded enthusiastically, and ran over to tell her mom where she was going. Her mother was currently picking out produce and some other food stuffs.
"Mom! I'm going to get ice cream with Suzette!" she lied, and skipped back over to the chimera. "Well let's go," she said and leaned her head up against him and gripped his arm. He tried to pull away but gave in reluctantly.
"You know," he said to her as they walked towards 'Cones and Cups', "You shouldn't lie to your mother like that." Juniper Rose just gigled and leaned her head further into his chest.
"Oh, wow, you still respect your elders after all they did to you... what a sweetie," she sighed. Zelgadiss got a slightly disgusted look on his face and rolled his eyes.
"Wow do you have an idealaistic view of what I'm like," he said with a snort. The rosy cheeked young girl looked at him puzzled and Zel just shook his head. "Never mind," he said.
'Cones and Cups' was Sayruun's most famous ice cream establishment. Offering the sweet treat in over one hundred and thrity six flavors. Including the new "Slayers Flavors." Juniper Rose's favorite was Rocky Blueberry. It had a slightly mild blueberry flavor with little chunks of almond that were dyed blue. Zel was scared. He was very tempted to kindly ask them to pull the blueberry confection from the market. After Juniper rose had gotten her Zelgadiss flavored ice cream, Zel went up to order an extra small cup for himself. He wasn't much for ice cream, but this stuff was very good, and he had a headache. He browsed through the flavors "Explosive Orange," "Blonde Banana," and... aaw he'd just get vanilla, this was too weird. So he approached the ice cream salesman, who looked up from under his scruffy brown mop of hair.
"I'll take an extra small cup of vanilla with coffee sauce," the scruffy haired concessionist gave him a grin.
"Aight Mr. Zelgadiss will that be regular vanilla or "White Magic Justice Vanilla," Zel looked at him oddly.
"How'd you know my name?"
"Oy, weird little girl who ordered the Zel flavored ice cream told me," he smiled, "Welcome to Sayruun, I'm a Filia fan myself, saucy little golden dragon." Zel just blinked.
"..." he shook his head, "..." this was too weird, "Ok I guess I'll go out on a limb and get the Justice Vanilla... with the coffee sauce. And make it a medium."
"That's because it's Princess Amelia flavored right?" The ice cream man grinned slyly.
"I didn't know that," he replied with a blush. He threw a silver piece on the counter, "Just give me the ice cream." The man, Kenneth was his name, smiled and handed Zel his ice cream. Zel shrugged and started to walk away from the stand... to the library. He was about two yards away when she did it. A savage glomp and a "oh no you don't!!!" Zel turned heel and looked her straight in the eyes. She simply giggled.
"I haven't even gotten to see how kawaii you are yet!" Zel sighed and sat down, he didn't like to go back on his word, but wow this girl was annoying. What did they call people like her.... fangirls? Yeah that was it.
"Aiya," he said as he glanced at the ten year old fangirl of doom, "Fine," he took a spoon and dipped it into his justice ice cream. And Juniper Rose watched every movement he made.
"Can't very well eat with your mask up can you?" she said with a proud smile at how clever she was.
"I've done it before," he said, "But it did get kind of messy." Juniper Rose smirked in triumph as Zel hesitantly pulled the mask off the lower half of his face. Juniper just blinked...
"Aaaaw!!!! Kawaii!!!!" she said, "You're evey bit as cute as I imagined!!! Will you take your hood off too?" Zel sighed, he imagined this young girl would have said he was cute no matter what he looked like.
"Leave me alone!" he said, "I bought you ice cream, I did everything you asked. Now I'm going to the libary." He swallowed his ice cream with one gulp, a very uncharacteristic thing, but he was in a hurry. Juniper squealed...
"Oh no you'll get a..." she was interrupted when Zel screamed, "Brainfreeze!" Zelgadiss collapsed onto the ground with a very loud thunk. Eating a medium ice cream in one gulp would give even Gourry brainfreeze. "Oh now, Zelgadiss Sir, are you okay?" she yelled all too loudly for Zel, for he knew that there would be people surrounding him any moment. And indeed there was... he sat there on the ground looking up through blurried vision, the justice filled brainfreeze from hell could not get any worse. Kenneth ran over and stood over the shocked chimera.
"Dude... that was awesome, you are totally my new favorite character!" Kenneth said with a grin. Zel sighed...
"Ow," he said and sat up hazily. His hood had fallen off and Juniper was smiling.
"Well whatever it took!" she said, "You have such cute ears!!!"
"Whatever," he said, "This is completely surreal to me, I think I'll be on my way." Zel began to stand up and plopped down on his butt again. "Think I twisted my ankle," he said with a shrug.
"Thought you couldn't get hurt that easily," Kenneth stated. Zel shook his head.
"Swords and bullets, lots of spells don't affect me, but when your ankle twists, your ankle twists, and it has little to do with the consistancy of your skin." Zel grumbled and began to cast a simple recovery spell on his injury. He sat there for a moment after finishing and then stood up, tipping a bit, then regaining his balance. Quickly he pulled his hood up, and turned to bid the young girl and Kenneth goodbye. He should have known that wouldn't be easy.
"Zelgadiss-sama!!!" she tugged at his arm, "Please stay for a bit, I want to introduce you to my mommy and all my friends, cuz they hear me talk about you all the time!!! Please come," she looked at him with watery puppy dog eyes.
"Absolutely not! Your mother was freaked out about me with my hood up, she wouldn't want her daughter hanging around with someone like me. As for your friends, that's scary... I think not!" He stood there... tapping his foot.
"So why aren't you leaving?" Juniper asked.
"I am," he said, "In a moment, after I gather my thoughts." He stood there for a moment... a minute, or two. Juniper just stared at him, taking in all the features that made him so very bishounen and wishing she could get him to take his hood off so she could see his cute ears again.
"There you are," a thirtyish woman came up and grabbed Juniper Rose by the arm. "Where's Suzette? And who are these people?" Zel sighed. Juniper smiled. Kenneth snickered.
"Mommy, uhh... Suzette had to go home, these are my new friends, the ice cream guy and Zelgadiss Greywords." She smiled with pride. Mother shook her head in disbelief.
"The Zelgadiss Greywords?" the woman questioned.
"Uhh... yeah that is my name," Zel replied like there was nothing unique about being 'the Zelgadiss Greywords' at all. Juniper's mother held out her hand.
"Well pleased to meet you Mr. Greywords I'm Lily Rose, my daughter talks about you all the time," Zel shook her hand rather reluctantly. "I'm sorry I was so rude when I saw you earlier, I had no idea who you were!" Oh yeah like that makes a difference to me, Zel thought.
"Hmm, Well that's ok Mrs. Rose," Zel replied.
"Oh it's Miss Rose," she giggled girlishly, "And you're so polite, buying my daughter ice cream, and watching her even though she lied to me and left," Lily said glaring at her daughter.
"How... did you know?" Juniper squeaked.
"Suzette is sick today and I didn't give you any money, I realized that and that's why I came after you." Juniper put her head down in shame. "Thank you for watching her Mr. Greywords, she's a handful!" Zel just nodded. "Well how would you like to come over to our house tonight for dinner, you could bring a guest if you wished, maybe... a girl?" Lily Rose raised an eyebrow and Zel blushed.
"I probably shouldn't," he replied quietly.
"Why?" Juniper asked.
"I uh... gotta go to the library," he said quickly.
"But you have to eat Mr. Greywords, please accept our invitation.I'm sure she'd be more than willing to come," Lily smiled.
"She?" Zel looked at her puzzled.
"Well Princess Amelia of course!" Juniper said with a giggle.
A.N- Part two: Well I couldn't think of a Xellos ice cream except "tuttie fruittie" or something so I just did the main four. They should have Val ice cream and call it "Mint Mean" instead of mint green... oh that was bad.
Next Part: Will Zel ask Ame to dinner? Of course he will ,this is me writing this! Better question, will she be freaked out? The drama, the romance, the angst... just kidding. Coming soon to a pop-up banner filled website near you.
Disclaimer- Not mine... wish it was.
Oh By the way... please review I'll love you forever and mention you in my author's notes.