A/N: It's Sakuno loving Ryoma but he loves Tomoka, who loves him in return. It's about everything they put her through.
Disclaimer: I do not own PoT.
It's confusing. So confusing.
You wonder which is more important: your happiness or hers? After all she's done for you, could you steal him and break her heart? Could you break your best friend for your own selfish desires, when you owe her so much?
And what about him? He prefers her, not you. You can see the pain in his eyes, when he sees her with another guy. When he sees her kissing, hugging, talking to another guy. He never looks at you like that, and you know he never will.
You're there to help him, not be loved by him. He comes to you for advice, sympathy, and assurance. He comes to you for help when she shuts him out. You don't know what to tell him because you want to help him but that means sacrificing your own desires. You also have no experience with relationships.
So you lie, tell him something you read in a book or saw in a movie. That he should just talk it out or something that may or may not work. You don't know.
Soon enough you become the messenger.
Texts and emails go back and forth through you. The words they can't say you translate into something that goes with the conversation or plans to all hang out. You're pulling your hair out because god, you wish you were her. You would trade so much just to be in her place. You want him to look at you, hug you, smile at you just like he does her.
You've checked his phone, too. She's the only contact of his that has any sort of symbol next to it. The symbol?
A heart. A damn heart.
You read through his texts to her, and jealousy wells up inside you. All of you are best friends, but he texts her with way more enthusiasm than he does you. There are more little smiles and you can tell he cares, cares way more about her than you.
And the sad thing is she's hurt him multiple times.
They almost get together, but that fell through and she dates a guy who she use to like last year. He was a player and he played her so well.
Then she gets together with another guy, but he was younger and she just didn't return the feelings like she thought she did.
The thing that makes you so mad you want to just scream? After a day with him, she feels guilty and wants him back. And she even knows you like him but you lie and say you are over him.
You both say these things because you find out he is moving.
So you try and convince her that long distance relationships are okay, and he even agrees to it. But she shakes her head and makes up some excuse about him finding another girl.
You give up and decide to let them figure it out. They chat but don't become an item, rather agreeing to just be friends.
You continue to text him, but as the days go on and the moving day grows closer, your texts become less and less. You are a trio, a triangle, but you know that's not right. You are the lone side, the lone side of an isosceles triangle. You cry silently, locking the doors and closing the blinds. The ones you love the most worry about you, but you lie and say it's stress.
They believe you.
Then the moving days come. You say you won't cry, but the moment you open the door to see him standing there, you throw your arms around him and the tears begin to fall. He hugs you back, because you're one of his best friends. You may be losing your first love, but you're also losing one of your best friends.
He then pulls away from you, smiling one last sad smile before getting into the car and driving away. He is going to say goodbye to her now. He chose to see her last so he can hug her longer. Comfort her longer. Be with her longer.
It's three hours later and you've finally stop crying. You're in so much pain you just want to crawl in a hole and hide from the world. You want something to numb the pain but you know the only cure is to move on.
So you clean yourself up, making yourself look like you always do. You notice your eyes have lost their sparkle, and pray no one will notice. Taking a deep breath, you let the feeling that he is got sink in completely.
You smile because you don't cry.
He didn't love you, wouldn't love you, and never will love you. And when you realize this, the pain is becoming a dull ache in your cracked heart. Then you realize one last thing before you go to see your family and leave everything behind.
That this will all be okay, even if you miss him.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed it. I have a sequel already made that I might post in a bit. Drop a review if you'd like. :)