It'd been a quiet few weeks since Cas decided to clone Dean and Dean decided it was the best thing ever.
Dean had spent the first week or so nervously looking over his shoulder, waiting for the Angel to make the next move. But as the days went by he started to think, maybe Cas had decided to call it quits on their prank war.
After the doppelganger incident, Sam and Dean took on a few run of the mill salt and burns. There was the ghost of a teenage boy who haunted an old lady simply because he was the same douchebag in death as he was in life, a couple who refused to leave the house they accidently gassed themselves in and a biker guy who decided the last place he got a tattoo was where he wanted to spend eternity. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing they couldn't handle and nothing set up by Cas. Dean was starting to breath easy again.
The brothers had just disposed of the biker's bones and were kicking back in their motel room, beers in hand and feet on the table when a gust of wind and a whooshing sound filled the air.
"Sam. ….Dean" Cas said, squinting his eyes and openly glaring at the elder Winchester.
Dean sat up a little straighter in his chair, sliding his feet off the table and onto the floor.
"Hey Cas…..how's it been?" He tried to sound as casual as possible. "We've been wondering where you were."
"Have you?" Cas replied, eyebrows raised, a smirk creeping into the corner of his mouth.
"Yeah sure, we've been wondering what you've been up to, haven't we Sam?" Dean kicked his brother's chair under the table.
"Yeah, Cas" Sam said frowning at his brother. "Everything ok?"
"I've been busy." Cas said dismissively. "Too busy to be…playing games." He looked pointedly at the Dean.
Dean visibly relaxed. "Well, I'm glad to hear that Cas because, well I think we should probably put everything behind us, give the pranks a rest, whatdya say?"
Cas eyed Dean suspiciously. "Of course" he said, narrowing his eyes.
Dean returned the stare. They were visibly sizing each other up.
It was a standoff.
Sam looked at his brother, then at Cas and shook his head. "So ummm Cas, why are you here?" he said trying to hide a smirk.
"I thought you should be aware that there is a coven of witches active in the next town. They are having a gathering tomorrow. I thought you might like to….check it out" he said awkwardly as he glanced from Sam to Dean.
"Witches?" Dean sneered, "Man I hate witches." He visibly shuddered.
Cas frowned. "Does that mean you will or won't look into it?"
"Yeah Cas of course we will" Sam said, "If you want us to, of course."
"Thank you." Cas replied, looking at Sam. He emphasised the 'you'. He'd obviously not forgiven Dean for turning his last prank around on him.
Dean arched an eyebrow. "Ok, so, these witches, what can you tell us about them?"
Cas gave them what information he had. It was a new coven as far as he was aware. It was of a considerable size and they were meeting tomorrow, for what he didn't know.
"Not much to go on" Dean openly whinged.
"I'm sorry Dean that I can not do your job for you." Cas snarked back.
"What? No I was….never mind." Dean could tell the Angel was in a mood.
"Thanks Cas" Sam stepped in again, trying to be peacekeeper. "We'll get on to it tomorrow, let you know what we find out."
There was a gust of wind and Cas was gone.
"Moody bastard" Dean mumbled.
"Dude, you're going to have to make an effort to patch things up with him."
"Hey I was being nice, it was him who was being a little bitch." Dean picked up his beer and took a swig.
"Still, he's obviously upset with you and that's not cool, just, just be…just don't be so you."
Dean shook his head, "Whatever dude. I'm having a shower and turning in." He got up and walked towards the bathroom. "Witches" he mumbled. "Awesome."
Dean woke up and the first thing he did was look at Sam. Sam was still Sam. Then he looked at himself. He was still Dean. He had all his limbs and associated body parts. He looked out the window. The Impala was there. Everything seemed normal.
"What the hell are you doing?" Sam growled sleepily.
"Man, that Angel has got you on the hop" Sam chortled as his swung his long legs out of bed.
Dean uttered an unintelligible expletive under his breath.
As they drove towards the location Cas had told them was the meeting place for the witches, Dean wondered out loud "He's not yanking our chains is he?"
"Why would he be yanking mine? He's sent me with you and I haven't done anything to him." Sam said.
"You're not exactly innocent here, I would say you are…complicit." Dean gave his brother a sideways glance.
The place Cas led them to was a small hall in a back street filled with factories. As it was a Saturday, the factories were closed. The street was eerily silent.
"Is it weird they're gathering during the day?" Dean said, eyeing off the building.
"Maybe they are getting ready for something?" Sam offered
"Maybe they are just doing some lame spells to help their kids at school" Dean shot back.
At that moment they saw a women with a small boy. He was kicking and screaming. She had him under her arm and was forcibly trying to keep him quiet. She knocked on the door and disappeared inside, the boy hollering, arms outstretched in a feeble attempt to escape.
"That doesn't look right," Dean said as he got out of the car. "Grab my duffle Sam, if they're doing something to kids I'm gonna kick their skeevy asses."
Sam reached into the back seat for Dean's duffle. "Dean, where is it? In the trunk?"
"No man I threw it in the backseat."
"No you didn't."
"Yeah, I'm sure I did" Dean walked back over to check for himself. "I remember…."
"You were so damn busy worrying about Cas you forgot it?" Sam looked at his brother incredulously.
"No I… Crap, we need that. Can't go in there naked."
They stood for a minute looking at each other.
Sam frowned. "I'll go back and get it, you keep an eye on what's going on here and do not go in there with out me."
"Well hurry up" Dean said tossing his brother the keys. He watched as Sam sped away. His spidey senses were tingling.
Dean made his way over to the building. It was a nondescript white hall with an emblem over the door. The windows were high. Dean looked for something to clamber up on. He found a large dumpster and in one push, hauled himself up. The windows were filthy and difficult to see through. Peering as best as he could through a small gap in the dirt, he could make out what looked like 6 women all wearing robes. They had their backs to him. He could see the kid who'd been dragged in, cowering in the corner, crying up a storm. There was a long table with a red cloth but the women were blocking it. From the angle he was at he couldn't see what was going on and he couldn't see the rest of the room. Then a movement caught his eye and he realised there were people in front of the women, was it more kids? Dean tried to clear a larger patch on the window. At that moment the women all raised their arms in the air, they were holding wands. Yelling something he didn't understand they all threw their arms forward. There was a burst of light and great squeal filled the air.
That was it. Dean pulled his gun from his waistband and leapt from the dumpster. Running to the door he slowly turned the handle then burst through gun raised. He stopped short and hastily stowed his gun in the back of his jeans.
6 women wearing witches robes and about 15 kids dressed in robes and hats all turned and stared at him.
"There you are!" one of the women said as she strode forward. Dean went on guard. "You're late" she whispered as she grabbed his arm leading him towards the crowd. "Mr Castiel said that you'd be here half an hour ago...and you're not in costume! I'll be making a complaint to your company I can tell you. Never mind that now. The children have been waiting for their Dumbledore." She hauled him bodily across the room.
"Their what…Mr…what…hang on, what?" Dean dug in his heals.
"Mr Winchester isn't it? Mr Winchester it's bad enough that you look like…that…." She said casting her hand up and down his body, sneering at his appearance. "But don't disappoint the children, they are waiting to be sorted."
Dean literally had no idea what was going on.
The woman dragged him to the red table and sat him on a large chair. "Children, I'm afraid Headmaster Dumbledore was unable to make it today, Ministry of Magic emergency, but he has sent his….apprentice….Professor Winchester." The children all cheered. She handed Dean a tall witches hat. "Here" she whispered. "Just tell them whether they are in Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw and Jeffery is the birthday boy, it's his party, make sure he's in Gryffindor or he'll pitch a fit."
"Lady…I have…" She stared at Dean with a withering look. "Oooo-kay Gryfinwhatever it is."
Sam pulled up and didn't see Dean. "Damn it" he said. He got out and cased the building. Seeing the dumpster he pushed himself up and peered through the small window. There was his brother. Kid on his knee. Sorting hat in hand. Sam burst out laughing.
He watched as his brother put the hat on the kid and said "Slytherin." The kid screamed. "No I am Gryffindor!" "Kid the hat says your Slytherin, get over it." "No!" The kid was kicking Dean. "Kid, I ain't got the patience, you're Slytherin ok?" Dean flashed his gun. The kid nodded wide-eyed, took a Slytherin scarf and backed away.
Sam covered his face and shook his head.
About an hour later Dean emerged. He had stars painted on his face and a small piece of cake wrapped in a serviette. Sam was leaning back against the Impala; arms crossed grinning like an idiot.
"How long you been out here?" Dean snarled.
"Long enough to see become a bon-e-fide member of the Gryffindor house. I would have thought you more Hufflepuff myself." Sam thought he saw steam come from his brother's ears.
"Very freakin' funny Sam. You'd couldn't a come in and rescued me?"
"Looked like you were doing fine." Sam tossed Dean the keys. "I take it this was Cas?"
"Mr Castiel to be exact." Dean rolled his eyes and slid into the Impala. "Dude, I'm seriously going to kick that nerd Angel's butt."
Sam laughed. "You know you have stars painted on your face?"
"I'm aware…but on the flipside, I have cake and…." pulling two pieces of rumbled paper from his pocket. He turned to his brother and grinned. "Marcy's and Lydia's numbers….messy divorces." He wiggled his eyebrows.
Sam shook his head.
"Bein' easy is all upside" Dean smirked. "I'm still gonna get that Angel back, even though he may have unintentionally got me laid." Dean thought for a moment. "What does Avada Kadavra mean anyway?"
"I believe that's a killing curse."
"Huh, I knew I should have shot that little shit."
Dean fired up the car and screeched down the road.
Castiel 1.5 Dean Winchester 2.5
I really couldn't decide who won this one...I think it was a tie what with the Dean getting laid and all!
Please leave a review, I'd love to hear what you think :)
And don't miss the further adventures of Cas vs Dean The Prank Wars coming soon!