Amelia looked up apprehensively at the windows of the castle come mansion that she was standing before. It was to be sure the largest house she had ever visited. Taking a deep breath she rang the bell and waited. She was both intrigued and slightly apprehensive to meet the owner of such an impressive property. It had only been a few days since she had applied for the job, and already she had been interviewed and was told she had been successful. Amelia was a freelance camera woman, and after a few low keys pieces for local news stations, she had decided to set her sights a little higher. She had applied online and attended an interview for a camera operator position on a new television series, which would be shown on a popular channel.
Following her successful interview with one of the executive producers, a heavily tattooed man in his mid thirties, she had been given an address and a shooting schedule and sent on her way. Amelia had found the whole process slightly odd and unofficial, but the contract had been sound, and she couldn't turn down the fee. The show required at least nine months filming, with the possibility of a second season depending on the ratings. The producer had been a little hazy on the details, simply describing the show as "reality TV" and that the filming would take place in and around the address he had given her. Amelia didn't even know who she would be filming, but she assumed it would be some minor celebrity. She had only recently moved from the UK to the States, and was finding it hard to adjust to the different lifestyle. The UK media industry was too small to provide many opportunities, and luckily Amelia had a cousin in Los Angeles who had offered her a spare room for as long as she needed. Unfortunately the show was set in Pennsylvania, so Amelia had been forced to check into a hotel until she could find somewhere more permanent.
After what seemed like a life time, Amelia heard someone approach the door. It swung open and she was greeted by a young man in his mid twenties holding out a bright green hand to her. "Bam Margera, it's nice to meet you. I take it you're Amelia Jones?" He had a thick Pennsylvania accent. Amelia tried to take in his appearance, ignoring the commotion of shouting and crashing in the background. Bam, if she had heard him correctly, was a little taller than Amelia. He had thick brown hair with an unruly curl to it, hidden underneath a hat. He had bright blue eyes and a wispy beard on his chin. Despite the fact that he was covered in luminous green paint and looked like he needed a good bath he was quite attractive and very polite.
"Hi Bam...is that right? Yes, I'm Amelia, nice to meet you too." She shook his green hand, and looked up at him questioningly. He grinned, "Welcome to hell." and before he had chance to explain, a figure came hurtling down the hallway carrying what looked suspiciously like a bucket of paint. The figure let out a wild war cry, and in the blink of an eye Amelia found herself covered in green paint. Horrified, she took a step back and wiped the paint from her eyes. She tried to cry out but words escaped her.
"Dico you idiot!" yelled Bam, but it sounded like he was suppressing a laugh. "This is our camera woman!"
"Oh my God I'm so sorry!" gasped the paint throwing figure. He was taller than Bam and lanky, with a missing front tooth and balding hair. "I thought she was Dunn!" Amelia looked from Bam, to Dico, and bit her lip, trying desperately not to cry. She felt so humiliated and she had only been there for a matter of seconds. Pull yourself together she thought. This was going to be interesting to say the least.
Before she could say anything, Bam had taken hold of her arm and was now pulling her through the doorway, apologising profusely. As she followed him down the long corridor she barely had time to take in her surroundings, all she could see was green. There was paint down the walls, over the floor, and over every individual she glanced at. She continued to let Bam lead her through the house, as he shook off questioning looks from his friends. He came to a stop at the top of a flight of stairs, and pushed open the first door on the landing. Amelia was relieved to see it was a bathroom.
"I am so sorry about that asshole!" exclaimed Bam as he led her into the room. She was still lost for words as he handed her a white towel. "We were kind of in the middle of a...game, and then the door went and everyone thought it was Dunn, but then I remembered that you were coming here today and well...things got a bit messy." He ushered her to sit down on the side of the bath. Amelia looked up at him and realised he too was now covered from head to toe in green paint. She felt a smile flicker across her lips; it was quite a funny situation.
"It's okay I guess, it was just a bit of a shock." She told him, attempting to wring the paint out of her hair. He laughed and threw her another towel.
"Well at least you know what you're letting yourself in for now, without me having to explain."
"Just as long as you give me a little more warning next time." She smiled. "So what is this show all about?"
Bam laughed again. "Have you ever watched that MTV show Jackass?"
"Sure." She replied, where those guys perform reckless stunts?" she could just about recall the show, having watched it a few years ago.
"Well that's start." He smiled, handing her a third towel. "Me and my friends were in that show, and this is sort of a spin off, but without Johnny Knoxville."
"Oh yeah, I think I remember you, you're a professional skater right?" she replied, giving up with her attempt to remove the paint any further.
"Yeah that's me. I bought this place last year and we figured it'd be fun to make another show, like fly on the wall, cause there's so much funny shit that happens, it'll make good viewing!"
"And I suppose that's where I come in?" she asked, looking around the bathroom. It was exquisite. The walls were tiled white and appeared sparkling clean. The bath was fitted into the far right corner and looked as if it was big enough to accommodate at least four people. There were plenty of switches and buttons, Amelia assumed it must function as a Jacuzzi as well as a bathtub.
"You got it." Bam grinned. "It's going to be great! You'll love the guys, they're all hilarious! Hang on a sec, I'll find you a change of clothes."
Bam disappeared for a minute, giving Amelia chance to get her head around what had just happened. The more she thought about it, the more she could remember the Jackass show, and the death defying stunts they performed. This could certainly be interesting, she thought, and wondered how the other crew members felt about working on something like this. She supposed they would probably be far more experienced and familiar with shows like this than she was.
"I'm afraid these clothes aren't great, all I could find was some of my stuff, but on the plus side they're not covered in paint." Bam was standing at the door with a pile of clothes on his arms.
"Oh that's really kind of you, thanks!" Amelia went to take the clothes from Bam, happy to be able to get out of her soaked jeans and t-shirt.
"I'll wait outside the door; give me a shout when you're changed."
Amelia pulled off her once white t-shirt, and was relieved to see the paint had not seeped through to her favourite white bra. She swapped the stained shirt for Bam's black t-shirt. It had an Adio skate logo across the chest and was several sizes too big for her, but she found the smell of it oddly comforting. Next up she tackled the jeans situation. Amelia sized up the pair of jeans Bam had provided her with, and decided she would look ridiculous as there was no way of holding them up. Her pants were fairly big today, but they were not quite big enough, nor was Bam's shirt long enough, for her to consider entering a room full of guys with nothing but them on.
"Erm, Bam?" she called through the door, "Have you got anything smaller than these jeans. She pulled open the door sheepishly, to reveal her bare legs and his t-shirt only just maintaining her modesty. She noticed embarrassedly that Bam's gaze was drawn to her legs, but he quickly looked up again, attempting to keep a straight face.
"The best I can offer is a pair of boxer shorts?"
"That would be great, if you don't mind." Amelia waited in the doorway as Bam went to retrieve the shorts, hoping he would have the sense to bring her a clean pair. As he returned with the shorts, she didn't realised he had followed her into the bathroom, and it wasn't until she had slipped them on that she saw he was standing behind her. He smiled softly at her, and she glanced at herself in the mirror. Her makeup had remained intact, but her once dark brown hair was now an ugly shade of green, cascading down her back. She scooped it into a ponytail and gave up with the idea of looking presentable on her first day.
Bam then led Amelia, boxer shorts and all, back down the stairs to meet the other guys. She was amazed to see the majority of the paint had been cleaned up, and the atmosphere seemed relatively calm compared to earlier. How long had they been up there for?
They came to a stop at the far end of the house, where a bar had been fitted with a cabinet full of exotic looking drinks bottles. At least six or seven guys, around the same age as Bam, splattered in green paint, were sitting round the bar, drinking an array of strange looking beverages. "Welcome to the Pirate Bar Amelia!" exclaimed Bam. "Let me introduce you to the guys! Guys, this is Amelia, the one and only camerawoman extraordinaire!"
"Erm, I'm sorry, did you say 'one and only'?" laughed Amelia, thinking she had misunderstood him.
"Of course, you're our one-woman camera team!" he grinned. "There's not enough room in the house for a full production crew, so we've got a sound guy, I'm the producer, and you're on cameras." He seemed extremely proud of himself.
Before Amelia had chance to comprehend the weight of what he had just said, she found herself being introduced to so many faces she didn't know how she would be able to remember them all. Amongst the faces included the illusive Ryan Dunn, who she had been mistaken for, and of course Dico, the culprit of her soaking.
"So let me get this straight," she began, after being introduced finally to the big and hair Rake Yohn. "It's just me and a sound guy, following you lot around every day for the next six months, recording all the crazy shit you get up to?"
"Wow, it sounds even better when you say it out loud!" grinned the short blonde Chris Raab.
It was only two in the afternoon but already Amelia was exhausted. She had arrived at Bam's castle straight after getting off the plane from LA. It was all she could do not to yawn as she listened to the guys rave about their plans for the show. Everything sounded extremely silly but potentially hilarious.
"So where in England are you from?" asked Dunn, as Amelia took a sip of coke Dico had begrudgingly poured her. He seemed to think that a strong alcoholic drink would go some way to making up for the paint incident. "Did I mention that I think British girls are hot?" Dunn winked.
"Dunn, leave the poor girl alone!" exclaimed Bam, "As if Dico's paint wasn't enough she doesn't want you hitting on her!"
Amelia laughed and ignored his last comment, replying "I'm from a little town in Derbyshire."
The guys all exchanged puzzled looks as they finished off their drinks. "Where are you staying in West Chester then?" Inquired Rake.
"Well I literally only just arrived this afternoon, so my next stop is to find a hotel for the next few nights until I find somewhere."
"That's perfect!" grinned Bam, "This place is practically a hotel anyway, and you'll be on location so no travel expenses!"
"What? You mean staying here?" gasped Amelia, shocked by his proposal.
Bam nodded excitedly, "You're welcome to stay for as long as you want, and I'll make sure you have a nice room. It's not every day we get such an attractive house guest!" he added, making Amelia blush.
So it was settled, Amelia was staying at Castle Bam for at least the next week, and as the guys helped to unload her rental car, she felt as if her life had suddenly ran away with her.