A/N: I don't even know what to say… I don't own the sexiness that is big time rush.

OH. OH. BIG TIME SINGLE WAS AS;LDKFJ. HOLYSHIT. Kay see you at the bottom. :)


A Big Brother Suffers

"Order! Case 625-B, is now in session." The judge shouted.

The room was still. For the most part, it was everyone Kendall knew, with the exception of a few jury duty goers on the side lines. The rest of the room was filled with his mom, Carlos, James, Logan, Camille and Jo, lawyers, and then his beast of a father taking space on the right side of the room.

He was seated in the row, behind his mother and her lawyer, next to his three best friends. Although there has been many court dates pertaining to his baby sister's untimely death, Kendall was most scared for this one.

This is the hearing that decided if his father would go to jail for twenty years, or for life. Kendall didn't quite understand those choices.

If his father went to jail for killing someone for twenty years, what if when he got out of jail he killed Kendall, or his mom?

If his father went to jail for life he would never have to deal with him again. He could forget about all the torturing that he has done to him, and what he has put his own son through.

"Dude, are you okay?" James whispered to Kendall.

"Yeah I'm fine… Why?"

"Well uh, you're crying." James said matter of factly.

Kendall was quick to wipe his tears away and turn back to the judge.

"Your honor if I may," Mrs. Knight's lawyer intervened.


"Your honor, we have already gathered all important information on behalf of Katie Knight's murder. But what we do not know is why. Why is it that Mr. Knight killed his own daughter? Was it out of hate? Love? Whatever the case may be, I would like to know from Mr. Knight himself. This is why I would like to call him to the stand."

The judge took a long thought, and looked back and forth from each side of the room.

She gave a nod in the lawyer's direction after a few moments.

The bailiff escorted him to the stand, and put him under oath.

"Raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you god."

"I do." He answered quickly. Kendall couldn't help but think those two little words that left his father's mouth was a load of crap. Of course he wouldn't tell the truth. He had no reason to.

"Mr. Knight, why did you kill your only daughter, Katie Knight?"

"It was an accident, I swear!"

"Hmm, is that so?" The lawyer said with a sarcastic tone evident in her voice.

"Yes! Of course! Why would I kill my princess on purpose? I loved her."

"HA! Oh wow, this is great." Everyone glanced back to a very amused Kendall.

"Young man is there a problem?" The judge asked.

"Oh, sorry. Proceed." He said, while trying to stifle his laughter.

"Mr. Knight, you really should drop the act. We all know why you killed her. From all this evidence, it appears that you were actually plotting to kill someone else. But Katie saw, didn't she?" She gave a sly look at Mr. Knight.

"Didn't she!"

"Yes. Yes! Are you happy! She… she saw me trying to kill someone else. I was plotting revenge."

"Revenge for what, Mr. Knight!"

"For replacing me! She didn't want… she didn't want me to do what I was going to do. She-she said that she would hate me forever. That she would never talk to me again… I couldn't have my little girl taken away from me like that."

"Who were you planning to kill?" She said in a calm voice.

"It was an accident!" Mr. Knight's eyes started to fill with buckets of tears, and he let them fall, unashamed.

"Sir, who were you planning to kill! Was it really an accident with Katie? Did she take a so-called "bullet" for someone else?"

"No!" He answered all too quickly.

Back where Kendall was sitting, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. It had amused him at first, but now it saddens him. Was he planning to kill his mom? One of his friends? Kendall couldn't stomach the idea of his father killing his mom, or one of his three best friends, let alone his baby sister…

"Wait a minute…" Kendall whispered to himself.

"What? You say something Kendall?" Logan asked, from the other side of Kendall.

"It's me. It's me!" Kendall said to Logan.

"What? Kendall! Kendall." He whispered yelled as Kendall rose from his seat.

"You bastard!" Kendall shouted at his father.

"Mr. Knight! Please take your seat!"

"Your honor, I know who he wanted to kill. I know. Please. Let me speak." She finally gave him a nod.

"You! You wanted to kill me, didn't you! You hated me! So you wanted me dead. Dead! How could you? So you just go and kill Katie instead? You're a bastard. A bastard!... I hope you go to jail for life. Rot in hell you crazy fuck!... You deserve to die." Hot, angry tears started to make their way down his face again.

Not a word was spoken. Silence could be heard throughout the whole court room. Kendall snaked past Logan's legs, and ran out the doors.

Carlos, James, and Logan each gave each other a look, before following in hot pursuit for their friend.

"Kendall, wait!" The three of them yelled in unison. Kendall just kept running towards the restrooms.

"Kendall!" Carlos shouted again.

"What." He snapped, as he stopped short in his tracks.

His abrupt stop caused Carlos, Logan, and James to all skid into each other beside Kendall.

"Kendall what are you doing?" James asked.

"Isn't it obvious that I'm going to the bathroom." He said blankly, as he pointed to the restroom sign.

"Why are you going to the bathroom, Kendall?" Carlos questioned.

Kendall shook his head, and looked down at his feet, and gave a feel to his pockets.

Logan took note of this and decided to speak up. "Kendall can I talk you for a moment?"


"No, no. I mean like over there." Logan pointed to a spot about ten feet away, in the empty courthouse.

"…Why?" Kendall was confused. Why couldn't James and Carlos hear what Logan had to say?

"Just come on." Logan groaned, as he pulled Kendall's arm.

"Logan what are you-."

"What are you really going to do Kendall?"

"What are you talking about…" Kendall said, refusing to make eye contact with Logan. He was onto him.

"Why are you going to the bathroom?"

"To pee?"

"Kendall I saw, okay? When Carlos asked you why you were going to the bathroom, you checked your pockets.

"No I didn't." Kendall quickly answered.

"Kendall what's in your pockets?"


"Kendall!" Logan shouted, quickly lowering his voice. "Kendall… if there's nothing in them, let me check."

"You know what! Fine! You know exactly what I was going in there to do." He whisper-yelled.

"Kendall… have you started cutting yourself again?" Logan said seriously, but sadly.

He saw him shake his head. "Then why were you about to?"

"I don't know… It just helps."

"Helps what, Kendall? Why are you not telling us what's wrong?"

"Everything is wrong! Don't you get it? No. You don't get it!... It just makes everything go away. It helps me forget about the current situation… It gives me that instant gratification, and I feel like everything is going to be fine, until I realize that that's not reality. Nothing is fine. And I have nobody to tell this to, because all of you will just send me to rehab again." Tears made their way back down his face for the third time today.

"You can tell me. Okay? You can tell me."

"And why should I?"

"Because I do know, Kendall. I know what you're going through."

"No you don't-,"

"Yes I do. I felt the way you felt. Like I had no one. Like nobody was going to believe me when I said that cutting yourself makes the pain go away…" Logan instantly regretted his choice of words, but he knew that it was best if Kendall knew.

"Wait… Logie, you used to cut yourself?"

"Used to? I still do, Kendall. I have bottled up a lot of shit. But I guess that's just the way I am. It all started when my father started being distant from me. None of you guys know this but, as soon as my mom died, my father did things to me… that I can't even begin to describe. Once I got a little bit older, I started to cut myself. At first I thought it was cool, and I did it to fit in. But once I had a reason behind it… I did it so often; it was in my everyday life. I don't want you to get like I am Kendall. I've been doing it so much longer than you, and I want you to get better. Not worse."

Kendall immediately felt bad. His best friend of twelve years has been hiding this for so long, and he hadn't noticed. Heck, they even share a room, and he didn't notice.

Is that why Logan swims with a shirt on? Does he cut his stomach? Aren't the arms more a normal place that people do it? Is that why he owns a lot of darker colored shirts? To hide the… blood?

All these questions flooded Kendall's mind, and he still couldn't sum up the reason why Logan would do something like that.

"Logan, don't worry about me getting better. You have to get better. You've been doing this for how long now?"

"…Eight years."

"Holy shit, man. Oh my god. Logan… you need to stop… Come here." Kendall pulled Logan in a tight embrace.

"I love you bro'. And I don't want to see you go, because you did something stupid." Logan said into Kendall's shoulder.

"I don't want to see that happen to you either, Logan."

"Oh my god! Group hug!" Carlos shouted, as he and James ran over to Kendall and Logan.

"Thank you, guys… For everything." Kendall said.

A/N: Oh hey, I didn't see you there. Did you enjoy that?

Was there too much angst? Yeah I think so. xD


In the mean time, PLEASEE check out my other story Bad Dad Gene :D