Interview With A Sackville-Bagg
Chapter Four: Gregory Sackville-Bagg pt 2
Hello everyone! I know, I know...you're probably thinking...hey! Where the hell have you been? Well...you see-about that...Our studios kinda got flooded by Pottermore fans wanting us to do an interview with J.K. Rowling and find out when the 'welcome' emails would be sent. You know what I told them? 'HELL NO! THIS ISN'T INTERVIEW WITH FOR POTTERMORE', this is 'INTERVIEW WITH A MOTHER FUCKING SACKVILLE-BAGG.' What? Oh yeah. I forgot. No cursing on the show. I broke my own rule.
After I told the crazy fans to leave, they kinda tried to kill me so I went into hiding. I can finally reveal my face to the public and get on with these long awaited interviews. Yay! Last episode, we had the 'ever so popular' Gregory Sackville-Bagg!
Gregory fangirls: YESSSSSSSSS!
Woah! What the hell? I thought you all died?
Gregory fangirls: We were reborn just for this exact moment.
I guess that's cool. Anyway! I would like to welcome back Mister 'My hair is just so perfect' to the show! Everybody clap, yes, that even means you Edward Cullen.
Edward Cullen: (Glaring in a seat over in corner) Clap. Clap.
Good enough! Even though you actually didn't do the polite gesture and simply said the words! You're just jealous he's better than you!
Gregory: (Walks on stage) Of course I'm better than him. I thought we established this last time.
Gregory fangirls: Give us another pick-up line! Please!
Gregory: Not this time girls...and some creepy guys, I really don't want to be responsible for killing you all again.
Ew, you sound like Rudolph.
Rudolph: (Comes out of nowhere) Hey! What is that supposed to mean?
Relax, my gentleman vampire, I was only kidding. We all love your modest ways...so much in fact that we couldn't bear witness Gregory turning into you.
Gregory: At first you made me feel special, but now, not so much.
Rudolph fangirls: (Fainting) WE LOVEEEE YOU! ADD US ON FACEBOOK! BECAUSE YEAH, YOU APPARENTLY GOT A FACEBOOK THE OTHER DAY?
Rudolph: Anna had forced me to get a facebook. You're all free to add me, just as long as you don't get stalker-ish.
Gregory: (Smirks) Doubt that.
Hey Gregory? Why don't you get a facebook?
Gregory fangirls: (At the edge of their seats)
Gregory: Frankly, I think it's a waste of time. Plus...these fangirls over here have another excuse not to leave me alone. Why would I care to see what other people are doing? Liking other statues? I. Do. Not. Give. A. Flying. Fuc-
HEY! HEY! HEY NOW! Remember what I said about cursing.
Gregory: Yeah, after you did it.
Rudolph: My brother is not lying.
Way to state the obvious...(Gets out index cards of fans questions) We have a lot of questions for you guys today...no...not all of them are for Gregory.
Gregory: Well I'm surprised!
Rudolph: Please, brother, I am just as good as you.
Gregory: In your dreams.
Enough! Enough! I'd rather not have a fight on the show...not today anyway. First question...Mister Rudolph Sackville-Bagg, would you ever want to trade lives with Gregory?
Rudolph: No, I'm pretty content with what I have.
Gregory: (Shakes head) What lies.
Good answer! Okay...this one is for you, Gregory...why are you so emo?
Gregory: I am not...this...'emo'. I was this way even before 'emo' was a word! I am outraged with all this crap and how this generation labels me such pathetic mortal stereotypes.
Gregory fangirls: (Sighs dreamily)
That's not even attractive. What are you sighing about.
Rudolph: They are idiots.
Gregory: Oh yeah? And yours aren't?
Rudolph fangirls: (Bashing their heads against the floor from excitement)
Rudolph: (Rolls eyes)
Next question! So, Gregory, Rudolph...how do you feel about some of the Gregory/Rudolph incest stories about you? Personally, it terrifies me even though I'm a gay supporter...WEIRDED OUT FACE.
Gregory: YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK! What kind of people would write that crap? I don't have any FEELINGS for my brother! He's my brother!
Rudolph: I find it quite disturbing sometimes, but it's what some people like to read. I don't judge them based on their interests.
Wow, Rudolph, you're so mature about this.
Gregory: He secretly likes it.
Rudolph: I do not, you idiot!
Gregory: I'm the idiot? Please.
Hey! What did I say? I kinda want to get tot these questions before those crazy Pottermore fans find me...Gregory, have you ever flown to America?
Nice answer! Short and to the point!
Rudolph? Why are you so damn adorable? And you know, this fan thinks you remind her of Bill Kaulitz when she was thirteen...
Rudolph: I thank you for the compliment. I really don't know why...And who is he?
Gregory: Lead singer from Tokio Hotel.
You would know.
Gregory: Of course!
Gregory fangirls: WE LOVE YOU!
Rudolph fangirls: Shut the hell up posers!
This will be the death of me...Gregles, do you like literature, and if so what kind?
Gregory: Again with another ridiculous nickname! No, I hate reading.
Rudolph: He hasn't picked up a book since he was one hundred years old.
Gregory: Not everyone can be a nerd and read everything known to man!
Rudolph: It's a good way to pass the time!
There you have it folks, Gregory doesn't like literature and Rudolph read everything piece of reading material in the world. What an accomplishment. Another question for Gregory! Don't feel bad Rudolph... (Looks at index cards) Actually, there are three questions...Ready?
Gregory: Whatever... (Huffs)
On a scale of one to ten, what would you rate yourself Gregory?
Gregory: Eleven. I'm that attractive.
What do you think of your crazed fan girlys, Greg?
Gregory: I only pretend to like them.
Gregory fangirls: No, you love us!
What do you do in your spare time?
Gregory: I scare people, punch things, flirt and sleep. That's all a REAL vampire needs to do. (Glances at Rudolph) Unlike Mister 'All romance' over here.
Rudolph: Do not bring my hobbies into this.
This question is for both Gregory and Rudolph!
When it comes down to it, do you really dislike each other as much as you make out, or are you fairly close? I mean, three centuries as vampires must bring most waring families together, right?
Rudolph: Although sometimes I don't agree with my older brother's actions, I assure you I don't hate him. He is my blood and I would never turn my back towards him.
Gregory: (Places hand on non-beating heart) I'm flattered brother! I guess I would say that same...I'm not good with handling mushy stuff like he is. All I know, you mess with him or my family, I will personally track you down and rip your head off.
Great picture...I have a few comments for you, Gregory. She would like to say that you're funny, she was the one who claimed you had hair issues and she's currently sitting in the audience.
Person: (Waves hand)
Gregory: I hate you because you insulted my hair.
She has a question for Rudolph, also. Why do you think you're so much better than your brother?
Rudolph: I don't believe I ever said that. We are all equals in this world.
Gregory: Pft. Right. You're thinking it in your head. But, of course, I AM better than YOU.
Someone is a bit cocky, eh? Now we have one last question-
Gregory: NO! NO! I'm done. (Gets up and leaves, resulting Rudolph to sit there awkwardly)
Rudolph: I apologize for his rudeness.
It's okay, I didn't expect anything less from him. (Looks towards camera) Alright guys, it seems our time has run out! On the next episode, we will be having Anna Sackville-Bagg with a surprise guest! Ask questions! You want to know more? Well, you're gonna have to wait like everyone else! Say 'Bye' Rudolph for like...the third time!
Rudolph: Thank you for having me!
A/N: So, I haven't updated in a few days because I was battling the urges to watch the Pottermore page every second. I made early access! Who else did? Still waiting on the welcome email though! Oh, and I wasn't kidding. Rudolph has a facebook now. If you would like to add him, go on my profile and there's the link! Perhaps the others should follow his suit and get one? Another chapter for 'From London With Love' should be up soon, in case you're wondering. Thank you everyone who is asking questions and keep them coming!