Author's Notes: Based off Johnny Cash's "One Piece at a Time." Non-profit. Don't shoot. =) This is also a work of pure fiction. No muscles were permanently strained nor computers harmed in the making of this filk song. BTW, you might wanna make sure nothing breakable's around. This song gets pretty hilarious.

"One Fic at a Time"
Evil Overlady

Well, I left my story on a bad vignette,
Felt pretty low so I hit the 'Net
To maybe find some story to help cheer me up.

I found this stuff called "fanfiction,"
Put old shows in fan diction.
It was clear they enjoyed it, so I devised myself a plot.

I'd surf the Web for the good ol' shows,
Find some info 'pon which I could expose,
And put it all together into a single file.

I'd go ahunting for plot bunnies,
Jot some notes from Sunday's funnies,
And by the time I was through I'd have myself a pile.

Chorus:
I'd do it one fic at a time,
And it wouldn't cost me a dime.
You'll know it's me when I load to your site.

I'm gonna cross genres like a child.
I'm gonna drive administrators wild
'Cause that's the only way I'm gonna write.

So the very next day when I logged on
With a case full of disks and a search list begun,
I went home with a dozen megabytes worth of stuff.

I never considered myself a thief.
Figure producers wouldn't miss just one little piece.
Especially, if I cross so many universes to make them all leave in a huff.

The first day I got me a universe.
The next day I got me a character with a curse.
Then, I got me a villain and a plot with which to tink.

The little things I could get in my pack of disks,
Like show screenplays and interesting fics.
For the big things I had printing paper and a store of ink.

Now, up to now my plan went all right
'Til I tried to put it all together one night,
And that's when I noticed that something was definitely strange.

The setting was set in '83,
And the villain turned out to be from '93,
And when I pulled the street maps all the names had changed.

So I made a time machine so that they would fit,
And with a little help from my beta reading sis,
I made a story 240 kilobytes, or there abouts.

Now, classifying it was another thrill.
I had Princess of Power in King of the Hill.
And somehow adding Power Rangers made it all work out.
(Don't ask me how.)

The disclaimer was a headache too.
It took a page in 8 point. Ten point made it two.
So I stuck it at the end and made a reference at the top.

About that time my sis finished her read,
And I could see by her eyes a shrink was in need,
But she kept her cool and dared me to throw in my lot.

So I joined Fanfiction.net
To show my sis I'd take her bet
And load that sucker to see what it would do.

But the administrators there, they didn't laugh
'Cause to sort it all out took the whole staff,
And when they were done the system had to reboot.

Chorus:
I did it one fic at a time,
And it didn't cost me a dime.
You'll know it's me when I load to your site.

I'm gonna cross genres like a child.
I'm gonna drive administrators wild
'Cause that's the only way I'm gonna write.

(Spoken) Hi, all. Fanfiction Scrambler popping in for a little chat. ;)
Yup. Just uploaded my first fanfic. l.o.l.
...Um... What genre is it?
Well, it's a... cartoon, TV show, science fiction, mystery, romance fantasy,
drama, horror, movie, song, comic book, miscellaneous fanfiction story.
It's a soap opera, sitcom, multilingual adventure, angst, action, comedy,
supernatural...

The End