He had to go. He had to go. He had to go. Brennan told herself this as she walked the corridor to his apartment. Booth had orders, the military didn't give a damn that she loved him and wanted him to stay in the states. That he loved her. She wondered, no she knew, she knew. If she would have never taken the offer in Maluku he wouldn't be leaving tomorrow for Afghanistan. Never accepted his offer and she felt horrible for it too.

She also felt the gloss she had been holding back finally spill over and run down her cheek, it tickled her skin as it burned its way down her red puffy cheek off her face and down her neck. Her throat was tight; her cheeks red, her eyes full of gloss that she had tried her damndest not to let spill over. She had lost that battle, she inhaled sharply about to knock on his apartment door when he opened it, keys in his hands. Her fist balled hand in the air she stopped. Her gloss filled eyes locked onto his and she exhaled a shaky breath as he led her into his apartment toward the couch. Though, she stopped him not wanting to sit down.

"Bones, Bones what's wrong?" he asked and her dark blue eyes only looked at him, haunting him with their depth. Really? Did he not know? She answered honestly.

"You, Booth, you're what's wrong with me." She said never taking her eyes off of his. "I…I have just come to understand how hard a deployment is...it's suddenly very real to me. I never knew that it was going to be so hard." She said losing the battle to more tears. She was breaking his heart, she had come to his apartment, come to him late at night in tears. Bones never cried, never showed her feelings. Dropping his keys to the floor he took her face in his hands and ran his thumbs over her cheeks brushing her tears away. His gesture only made more tears fall.

"Booth, I...you know I have a hard time saying what I feel. You know that I'm a guarded person. I…I came over because I felt I had to voice something, something to give you hard evidence…" she started, watching her struggle with tears and words, it made his heart break.

"…You are more than a partner to me Booth." She paused adding "You're my best friend." She didn't mean to cover her more than partner message up but it was so hard to voice what she wanted to say aloud. He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear as he held her gaze.

"I understand your unsaid words Bones." Booth said

She sighed, "You always have Booth." She looked at him smiling a sad smile through her tears he answered her unasked question and covered her lips with his own. The kiss started slow and methodical but quickly turned into a passionate filled kiss full of need and longing. Brennan soon found she was walking backwards towards his bedroom, as he steered them toward it. She let him take her there, take them there. Wherever he would go, she knew deep down she would always follow. Though, tonight they would take turns leading.

Jason Aldean]
I really hate to let this moment go
Touching your skin, and your hair falling slow
When a goodbye kiss, feels like this

It wasn't long until they found themselves lost in his bed, lost in each other. His kisses worked their way down her neck and she arched her body giving him access to all of her. He stopped long enough to take her undergarments off and she kissed him slowly wanting to take some of the attention off of her. His eyes were full of passion and desire and…another emotion. She knew it, but had never known that look…of soft shining eyes, never from anyone but him. Was that love? Was that what that emotion was? Had she found love, happiness, and a dance within him? She knew the answer and tasted the salt from her tears on her lips. He had to go, but not tonight. Not tonight.

"Not tonight." She said into his mouth through her tears, her voice a whisper and her breathing hitched. He stopped kissing her, she didn't know she had said it aloud.

"Bones, are you sure about this?" he asked

"Very much so Booth."

He was confused. "Why did you say not tonight?"

She looked at him sheepish at first and then her face contorted. She couldn't answer as her throat was tightening as she tried not to let anymore tears spill over.

"Bones?" he asked and she exhaled a shaky breath. In order to answer him, to utter a word, she had to let the dam break. Now her tears fell freer than they ever had before.

He watched her bottom lip tremble as she looked into his eyes. "You don't have to leave tonight, not tonight." She managed to somehow say in between her tears.

His heart broke for her. "Oh, baby." He covered her lips with his tasting her tears. He didn't even realize he too was holding back gloss in his eyes.

[Chorus] (Kelly Clarkson and Jason Aldean)
Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
Don't you wanna hold each other tight?
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?
Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
We can make forever feel this way

As their tears mixed together, not only Brennan but Booth found out how to break the law of physics. It takes two to tango well and boy, did they tango well on into the night. Brennan roll over the bedroom silent, it smelled of them. They were quiet, still as they waited for their heart rates and breathing to return to normal. She rolled her head over to look at him and found herself staring into soft shining puppy boy eyes filled with love, happiness and a dance. She reminded herself again, not yet…not tonight.

Don't you wanna stay?

As her breathing started to return to normal, her damp skin made her shiver and she rolled herself over curling up into him. He wrapped both arms around her, engulfing her in his embrace. She felt an arm slid underneath her stomach and another graze her hip as he let it rest on her side. His fingers were brushing damp hair off her forehead and running through her hair. They were silent staring into each other's eyes. It broke his heart to see hers were starting to fill with more gloss. Not yet, not tonight she reminded herself again as he pulled her closer to him.

"I never thought one full rotation of the earth around the sun would end up being so hard Booth." Brennan's whisper of a voice sliced through the silence.

"No, you're wrong Bones. I think we both knew. we have known a while. It's the absence the not knowing, that's the scary part. The part we don't acknowledge… that has always been the scariest part." He said softly and she nodded in agreement.

"The unsaid words are the hardest to talk of because they are the most meaningful." She said back pausing she added, "Irrationally I hoped if I never said it then it would never happen…we don't speak of the bad that could happen in Afghan…it's almost as if I never talk of it, it will never happen…but now we happened…this, us…and we've never spoke of us…" she said and he quieted her.

"Why don't we then? That way we will know if we speak of it, get it out, then there is a possibility. If we never speak of it…" he started and she interrupted him.

"Ignorance is bliss?" she asked and he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead brushing another tear away.

"No, no not this bliss, Bones. Blissful yes, ignorant we are not." He said cupping her face and kissing her slowly.

They parted and her words came out rushed "I love you Booth." She covered his lips with hers again not giving him a chance to think or even respond. He pulled away and she looked deep in his dark eyes which bore into hers, what she saw made more tears fall.

His gloss filled eyes had finally let a single tear spill over and slide down his cheek. She kissed his lips and then his tears, suddenly and overwhelming need to comfort him took her over. Not tonight Temperance, he is yours tonight. Not yet.

[Kelly Clarkson]
Let's take it slow, I don't wanna move too fast
I don't wanna just make love, I wanna make love last
When you're on this high, it's a sad goodbye

She covered him with kisses but stopped as she felt his hand slid out from under her and now both of his hands were on her face again, holding it. She stared into his eyes both of their eyes wanted to spill with water, but didn't at the moment. "I love you too Temperance, so, so much Bones. Hell, it was you that showed me how to love Bones." He said as both of his hands held her face and she looked him in the eyes.

"But you have been in love before Booth. You said you have." She countered, "You showed me what love was."

He only chuckled lightly, "I only thought I knew what love was Bones, I was wrong. I have never known true love not until I knew you. That sounded really cheesy didn't it? Like a line in a movie."

She smiled, "It probably has been used before and it may even be in a movie although I'm unsure of which movie and I've never seen it. If it has in fact been used in a movie that is." She was still smiling as he returned it.

"Well I'm glad you think that because, I meant what I said." Said Booth

"I know you did, you wouldn't have said it if you didn't." she said and he smiled kissing her again. They parted and he took his arms and wrapped them around her body engulfing her in his embrace. They fell asleep in each other's arms as she traced lazy circles on his shoulders and back her head nestled into his chest, hair fanned out on the pillow they both shared they drifted off into a dream world known only to them.

A perfect dream world where tomorrow didn't have them saying goodbye to each other at Reagan Int. airport only holding each other's gaze and tightly gripping holding each other's hands. One where their hands didn't slip out of each other's for an entire rotation of the earth around the sun. One where they had never left only stayed.

[Chorus] (Kelly Clarkson and Jason Aldean)
Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
Don't you wanna hold each other tight?
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?
Don't you wanna stay here a little while?

As she traced his skin before drifting off to a perfect dream world where there would be no sad goodbyes tomorrow. She reminded herself that was tomorrow, and not tonight, not tonight.

We can make forever feel this way
Don't you wanna stay?


stay safe guys-Me...I haven't had time to update Screw Rational yet...it's been a hectic last week and I needed to get this song/vent fic down. Love this song...so sad and true. Give it a listen it's called Don't You by Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson.