"Nice dress," were LaBoeuf's first words upon entering the Ross's and seeing Mattie. Maggie and Mattie's siblings were gone somewhere unknown at the time now that Mattie had returned safely, and Litrell was retreating at a darn quick pace.

"Shut that cake-hole. I'm still mad at ya'."

LaBoeuf neared her. She gave him a questioning look that disappeared as his hands found her waist and drew her to him. She didn't protest.

"Got somethin' for ya'," LaBoeuf whispered into her hair.


He waved two brightly colored pieces of paper in front of her nose. She drew away from him and snatched them in her pale hands.

Train tickets to St. Louis.

"Figured ya' had been everywhere out west of here. Time ta' see east," LaBoeuf explained.

A smile broke out on her face as he explained the details to her.

Suddenly, a familiar weasel-ish voice rang out from outside the house.


Another voice outside sounded. "Cousin? Is that you?"

"That voice sounds familiar," LaBoeuf muttered.

"Cousin! Help me! My mortal enemy is in that house!" Harper yelled to his cousin.

LaBoeuf sighed and strode out of the door. He sucked in some air as soon as he saw Harper's cousin.



LaBoeuf charged Landon who pulled out a pistol and missed. LaBoeuf had tackled Landon to the ground before he could cock the piece again.

"As a deputized Texas Ranger, I herby place ya' under arrest, Saul Landon, for the murder of Nathan Manson."

Saul groaned.

"Wha…what about me?" Harper asked pitifully. "Ya' should have tackled me. I thought I was your mortal enemy!"

Mattie picked up Landon's dropped pistol and wacked Harper in the head with the handle. He went down like a sack of flour.


Mattie : That's the end?

LaBoeuf : Yeah! Aren't ya' forgetting something?

Litrell : Something important?

Nomadic : well…

Litrell : Oh, c'mon! Everyone's been waiting this entire fanfiction for it!

Mattie : Yeah!

LaBoeuf : I agree!

Nomadic : But I already kinda ended it…

Mattie : Haven't ya' ever heard of epilogs?

Nomadic : Well, yeah, but…

LaBoeuf : Are ya' jus' gonna disappoint all of these here readers?"

Nomadic : Don't you dare guilt trap me, Mr. Ranger. I can send you straight to Canada with a few sentences—

LaBoeuf : *gulp* *cowering*

Litrell : There are Mounties there… *shiver*

Mattie : Two Rangers down. Impressive. Back to the original subject…

LaBoeuf : Yeah! C'mon! Please!

Litrell : Please?

Mattie : Please?

Nomadic : Oh, alright. Go ahead. Only because you said please.

LaBoeuf : *grabs Mattie, pins her against nearest convenient wall and kisses her passionately*

Nomadic : Happy now?

LaBoeuf : Ohh yeah.

Mattie : *nods*

Litrell : *sobbing* that was so beautiful!

Sorry it took a few decades to update...I was accepted into this band and rehearsals are absolutly insane. Then I went out of the country. I really appreciate everyone who came along for the ride and I really hope this fanfic made you laugh!