Disclaimer: All Twilight names, places and characteristics belong to the talented Stephenie Meyer. I just play with her toys.
Authors note: Thankyou to everyone who has stuck with me with this story. I have recently finished college and will now have much more free time on my hands so will have more time to enjoy writing again and update my stories. Happy reading!
Today, Bella hits the eight weeks pregnant mark. It's nervewracking for us all. Edward still has her on bed rest but today we're getting together as a family. By family, I mean Emmett, Edward, Bella and myself are going to They think it's important as a family that we bring all of our fears to the top and discuss them. I don't quite understand the gathering. I have no fears. Of course I was petrified when Bella suffered a little spotting, I know Emmett felt the same thing I did. He thinks I don't know. But I do. I know that man better than he knows himself. Maybe Bella and Edward have things to tell us? Even if so, isn't it something to be done in private rather than in front of Emmett and Edward's parents...
"Rose, my mom and dad are family too!"
"Don't read over my shoulder," I scolded and closed my journal.
"I think I'm entitled to if you're writing about my parents," Emmett's voice was rising slightly. I watched him from my dressing table as he dressed and buttoned up his shirt.
"I just don't see why this has to be done with them. It's our baby,"
"And their grandchild. Don't start getting all bitchy now. It's like you're pregnant but with only the damn hormones,"
My mouth dropped open in horror. I rose to my feet and threw my journal, aiming it at my husbands head. He ducked and it landed on the ground with a thud. The remorse on Emmett's face was instant. His eyes were sad like an abandoned puppy. I walked past him without saying a word.
I stayed quiet throughout the car journey. Emmett had tried to squeeze my knee and smile apologetically. I turned my nose up at him.
It's not my fault that my uterus doesn't work.
Emmett pulled up in front of his mother and fathers house. Edward and Bella were already here. I could see Jared kicking his football around on the front lawn. The purr of the engine went silent and Emmett reached across me to push the lock down, trapping me in the vehicle.
"C'mon, Rosalie. I'm sorry,"
I looked down at my feet. It was damn hard to stay mad at Emmett. If I didn't look directly at him, then I couldn't cave. I saw his hand rest on my thigh, slowly travelling along my smooth skin, and up underneath the skirt I was wearing. Up and up...
"Shit, Em," I gasped as his fingertips caressed the skimpy material of my underwear.
"I am sorry, baby," He whispered in a husky tone. I clenched my eyes shut and pursed my lips together, determined not to let him get to me.
My body however was telling my husband something completely different. Emmett's fingers were just about to disappear inside my panties when I grabbed his hand.
"Stop. You're not using sex to gain forgiveness,"
He pulled his hand away and slouched back in his seat with a huff.
"I'm sorry, Rose, okay? Look, nobody said this was going to be easy,"
"I know that," I replied, "I just don't see why your parents have to get involved in what is our private business with Bella,"
"I'm involved too, and Bella is married to Edward, we're their sons so I'd call it their business,"
It occurred to me that Emmett was reaffirming exactly what he had told me back in our own apartment. I let out a deep sigh and turned my head to look at him.
"I just wish we could..." I began.
"What, babe?" Emmett's voice was soft yet encouraging. He reached for my hand and squeezed our fingers together gently as they linked.
"I wish we could be going through these nine months without any attention at all. Just living in a Bella, Edward, Rosalie and Emmett bubble," I mumbled like a child.
"You and I both know, that as great as that sounds... life just isn't that easy,"
"I still want to try and keep this as quiet as possible though," I continued, "How do you think I'm going to feel, going around with Bella, seeing her pregnant for us and my womb is empty. The whole world will know,"
I was beginning to get emotional. All of the thoughts I was keeping to myself were flooding out and I sounded terrible.
"You can't keep Bella in a cage for the next seven months, Rosalie,"
"I just..." I sighed, utterly exasperated and unbuckled my seatbelt and made a mad dash for the main house.
I heard Emmett's footsteps quick on my tail, the beep of the car as he locked up using the key fob. A strong pair of hands grabbed me by the shoulders and I found myself staring into Emmett's concerned eyes.
"Eight weeks in and already you're jealous. When are you going to realise that this isn't just about you!"
He shook my shoulders as he spoke. Maybe it was to try and shake some sense in to me? He was a man with a penis, he wouldn't understand how I felt. But I wasn't a complete fool, I saw the tears welling in his eyes. I shook my head and opened my mouth to speak. I was conveniently and thankfully interrupted by the door opening.
"I thought I heard voices," Esme said brightly.
"Hey, mom," Emmett let go of me, grinned at his mother and kissed her cheek.
"Bella and Edward are already here, we're having iced tea in the garden," Esme smiled and I started to follow her inside. Emmett's hand grabbed me, stopping my steps and whispered in my ear.
"You and Bella need a serious talk, and then later, so will we,"
The tone was soft... sad.
The afternoon was more bearable than I'd anticipated. There was plenty of peach ice tea to go around and Carlisle and Edward were about to get a barbecue lit. The baby subject hadn't been brought up yet. Both children had come to play in the large back garden and were enjoying the swing set their Grandpa Carlisle had brought for them.
"A couple of years, son and your little one will be joining them," Carlisle said proudly, "Maybe I'll build a jungle gym,"
"That's a wonderful idea, dear," Esme agreed and excused herself to collect the fresh barbecue meats from the refrigerator. She summoned Emmett to help her.
I was alone.
My eyes met hers across the table, she smiled and I took a large gulp of tea.
"Bella. How are you?" I asked sheepishly.
"I'm much better. Esme's been helping me with Lauren while Edward's at the office,"
"Bed-rest," I nodded, "Of course,"
"Bed-rest, cleaning rest. Everything that could rest is resting!" She laughed for a moment before cutting herself off.
I glanced around the garden. Everyone was busy and completely minding their own business. It was right then I realised. Esme and Carlisle didn't want to have a family discussion. They wanted me to sort out the awkwardness between us two couples.
"I thought you'd have been around since the hospital fiasco..." Bella's voice was shy and quiet. She looked down and I could tell that her palm was resting on her just visible baby bump.
I didn't have my baby yet but I'd already failed as a mother, because I'd neglected my friend. My sister-in-law who was giving up nine months of her life for us.
I inhaled a deep breath and tried to find a way to explain myself.
"You're struggling already, aren't you?" The silence was broken for me and Bella could read me like a book.
I nodded, ashamed.
"Rose, I can deal with you being jealous of me for a few months. I can cope with you cooing over my bump when the baby kicks and then being mad at me because I can feel him or her inside of me and you can't. But what I can't watch is you neglecting everybody around you because of your self centred thoughts,"
Bella's control in her speech surprised me. Perhaps she was on my wave length because she was a woman.
"I don't know how..."
"Emmett. He talks to Edward you know,"
"This. Us. You and him,"
Emmett and Esme walked past the table that we were seated at. They were laughing and joking as they carried a large tray of meat to Carlisle's barbecue.
"This baby. Is no part of Edward or me. It's all you and Emmett but you're shutting yourself in this bubble and behaving as though it's just yours. You'll tear your marriage apart,"
I leant forward in my seat and rested my elbows on my knees and sort of rocked in the chair trying to gather my thoughts as I processed my recent behaviour.
"Rosalie, are you listening?"
I sat up, alert, "Yes, I'm listening," I replied, quickly.
I rose to my feet and walked around the table to where Bella was sitting. I pulled up Edward's chair and sat down, touching my hand to the arm of my surrogate's garden chair. I was staring at her swollen belly... my... mine and Emmett's baby.
"Can I touch?" I whispered.
She didn't answer me. Instead she took my hand and placed it upon the fullest part of her stomach. There was nothing to feel yet, it was too early. But knowing there was a tiny person growing inside there was enough to bring me back into reality with a bump.
"Bella, I'm sorry," I began to weep, "I promised to look after you two, and already I'm letting you down,"
I moved my hand away and we embraced in a tight hug, Bella whispering in my ear.
"None of us said this was going to be easy. We have to work together on this,"
Stomachs were most definitely full up by the time we left Esme and Carlisle's house. I'd pushed Emmett into accepting a golfing weekend invite from his brother and Dad next week. I told him I would spend quality time with Bella doing girls things. The mentioning of girl's things was enough to make him cringe and shake his head, begging for me not to indulge any more.
The car journey home was silent. All except Emmett's rumbling stomach. I swear he was hungry again half an hour after eating.
I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. Emmett was focused on the roads, I turned my head and occasionally opened one eye to watch him. Every now and then, a helpless sigh escaped him. Only now did I see it, the one person I loved most in the world was bottling up every emotion inside of him.
Now I saw that since we'd found out Bella was pregnant, there had been no excitement. Nothing since we'd built our excitement over the prospect of pregnancy. I'd managed to push my husband away from me without realising it.
Hearing the engine switch on, I faked my waking up with a long yawn and opened my eyes. Emmett was smiling warmly, flashing his dimples. He looked like the teenage boy I fell in love with.
"Hi," I tried to whisper sleepily.
"You're a real bad actress, Rosalie,"
He chuckled, "Come on, let's get inside,"
He reached for the door handle when I managed to grab it before the heavy door swung open. This was my moment.
"Emmett, I'm sorry," I blurted.
"Rose?" He feigned confusion.
"We're in this together aren't we?" I asked, "every step of the way?"
Emmett pulled the door closed and sighed, looking out at the street in front of him for a moment or two before glancing at me.
"Yeah. We are, you just have to remember that,"
I swallowed and nodded.
"Life can't be The Rosalie Show any more. We're going to have someone else to think about soon and we're never going to manage if we suddenly stop being able to talk to each other,"
A tear streamed down both my cheek and his. I leant forward, as did he. Our foreheads touched together.
"I love you," He replied and claimed my lips in an emotional kiss. I could taste his salty tears. Large hands cupped my face as we kissed and made up, rough fingertips smearing my own tears away.
I eventually pulled away, a little breathless.
"We're going to be okay... aren't we?"
"We're going to be great,"
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