I own nothing. I don't own any of the characters.

The rain was falling in a slow, steady beat.

No it's not. It's a bright and cheery day with a rainbow promise in the background.

Shut up, and stop arguing with the author! You're going to get us in trouble, or worse.

What could be worse?

He could stop writing and we wouldn't get to show our wit to the world.

Will the two of you but out of this and let me continue?

"Hey can I get into this?"

Who invited you?

"You did. You are writing this about me."

That's beside the point. Look, this is going nowhere so why don't we each call it quits and I will start over.

I will if you will write it the way I remember it.

How about I just write you out of existence?

You can't do that. Can he?

"Only in this universe. We belong to that Mickey Mouse organization now, so no fears about being killed.

No the only fear we have now is being lost and forgotten because we are too violent for the kiddies.

Since you put it that way, I'm all for whatever you want to do boss.

That's more like it. What about you two?

"Just don't have me end up in bed with Logan. I'd rather have Bea Arthur. Or Death. See I remembered you hun."

I'll try and remember that.

I was the one who was all for the others staying out of your business to begin with.

Ok since we are all in agreement. I will continue this story.

The rain was falling in a slow, steady beat. The constant drum of the drops hitting the roof was becoming hypnotic. This is usually great weather for mercs. The rain keeps dogs from smelling you as you approach, the clouds block the light that would normally illuminate movement, and the haze the rain creates helps hide you from snipers. Unless they are using thermal imaging scopes, but you wouldn't know that until the bullet already went through your skull.

The shot rung through the country side. Nothing seemed to care that something had died.

"Wait! Did you just kill me?"

Maybe. Maybe not.

I got a problem here. You forgot to tell where this happened. Is it in a metal building or in some country side? I can't tell.

Shut up! I don't see anything wrong with it. I don't want to go back into the nothingness.

Hey there was nothing wrong with his criticism that time. Yellow box had a legitimate point that I wasn't as descriptive as I could have been.

If that's the case I saw a lot of things wrong with it.

Oh, like what?

"I know the answer to this one. You didn't mention me, the merc with a mouth. Deadpool."

I was going to go with the lack of personality, but yours works too I guess.

I'm starting to think that this is the reason your other orators don't interact with you.

"I just go with what works. Did you just hear my microwave go off? Let me know if you do cause I got a chimichanga in there and I'm starving."

Ok, so we have the rain falling on a metal roof.

"Is it tin or some other kind of metal?"

What does it matter?

"It matters to me."

Me too.

Same here.

That does it! I'm sticking you in a crossover, and I'm revoking your rights to interject any constructive criticisms. You can yell to the sky all you want, but the only answer you'll get will be a portal to a different dimension opening up and demons dragging you into the deepest darkest pit I can come up with. And you will be still alive and kept that way so you will never be able to be with Death or Bea!

"Uh… Can I rethink my whole involvement in this?"


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