Heya! I've been suffering a chronic writer's block, so this story may not be great, but I wanted to prove that I'm still trying ^_^

I wrote this story because I'm sure some people can relate to fantasizing about someone who doesn't like them back. This story's dedicated to a friend of mine.

I don't own the Haruhi Suzumiya series, and I don't think I could make it any better if I did. But if I did, I would make lots and lots and lots of fanon comics and pictures for the good people. But I do own a condo. 10% of it, at least... once I get my address on my license changed. Have you ever had a really good license or school I.D. picture, then you have to get a new one for some reason? My last one was great and I'm so worried my new one won't be as good ;_;

Enjoy resonsibly!

It was 9:30 at night and Haruhi was reaching her climax.

She'd teased herself for the past ten minutes, but the nerve endings of her clitoris were fighting for domination, and she knew they were tired of on and off vibrations. It was time to do what she'd come here to do.

Her right hand was the machine's operator; her left did the heavy labor. Over her panties, she glided the slender, pink, machine from her love button to her soaking opening, pressing lightly until her hymen protested. Her vibrator was thin, but she didn't want any unnecessary stretching of her holes until it came time to lose her virginity. She wanted to be the tightest fuck of the lucky guy's life. Her left hand massaged the area above and a muted moan escaped her softly parted lips

This was a new video she was watching tonight, a tentacle rape, and it was goodstuff. The alien appendages circled and licked the struggling victim's breasts just right, grabbed her perfect ass in all the right places. Haruhi had always been able to get more out of girl and even girl-on-girl porn than ones with guys, probably because even though she was more straight than anything else, she'd gotten a hold of the male gaze somewhere along her path of eccentricities.

'I'm not gonna do it this time,' the thought ran through her head as she went full power down the home stretch. But as she crossed the line, the surge took over, and she slammed down on the space bar to pause the video.

"KYON-KUUUUUUUN~! OHHH, KYON, I'M CUMMING, OHHH~! CUM INSIDE ME, PLEASE, GIVE ME ALL YOUR CUM! Ohhh Kyon..." She fell back in her near-perfect ecstasy, her tongue lolling out of her mouth, drooling, her legs shaking, pure, melted bliss on her face.

In her euphoria, Kyon's body now rested over hers, the two panting in unison for a few beautiful moments, before Kyon rolled off of her. "Haruhi... that was... oh God that was amazing..."

"Yeah..." she grinned back, lost for words. "Amazing."

She didn't dare to stay in this state for long; she had to go to the bathroom and wash up before her parents got home. To her the room smelled of sex and guilt, so she sprayed a bit of air freshener before heading down the hall

As she left her room, the second thought of the fantasy began.

She opened her door to find horror staring her in the face. In the form of a bored-looking Kyon.

"Well, that certainly explains a lot."

Haruhi's face turned crimson, and then a purple-ish color from lack of air. "Kyon-" she finally spoke, followed by a sharp intake of much needed air, "What the- what are you- why are you here?"

"I tried texting you a while ago to tell you my mom invited you over for dinner, since your parents are out of town. You didn't answer, so she sent me over here to check on you."

"But you, you-" she was about to say something about him and her address and not knowing, but the words were lost on her. She shook her head viciously to clear her jolted mind. "Never mind that, you should know better than to barge into a lady's house!" She stood upright, and made an uncomfortable face at the wetness in her panties

Kyon must have picked up on the look, because he smiled and moved her toward the bathroom. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

Her face was alive with shock. "HUH! LET'S?" And was it just her, or was he giving her a very bishonen look?

"It's the least I can do after inconveniencing you."

Haruhi's fingers became Kyon's as she gently wiped her panties and moist pussy. The fantasy died as she came back to Earth and remembered that while she wouldn't mind Kyon's fingers being back there, she was not a self-fingerer. After she was clean, she left the bathroom, more or less back in her old disposition.

She hated, hated, HATED those damn Kyon fantasies of hers. She would begin masturbating with the benign intention of getting off, but even at the beginning she knew it would probably end up in her losing her inhibitions and screaming his name loud enough for him to hear at his house. Occasionally she was able to fight it, and whatever turned her on about what she was watching would be her thought as she crossed the event horizon, and into the darkness. But those orgasms were never as intense, never as satisfying, never as good as when she pretended they were a gift from Kyon. The thought of his face, the feeling of him inside of her, knowing she'd also given him la petite mort, racked her entire body with the most intense pleasures she'd ever felt. Pleasures tentacle rape, girl-on-girl rape, etc. could just not provide. And when it happened, she almost felt as if Kyon were there with her for that split second. She could feel his grip, hear his moan, feel his sperm inside of her, feel his caress as he kissed her when it was over.

Of course she knew it was bad for her; if it weren't, she wouldn't hate it so much. It is dangerous to think this way about a guy who doesn't like you; she might begin to believe he did and get wrapped up in some Yandere fantasy land. And murder was not in her bucket list.

As she lie falling asleep that night, she felt one of her eyelashes come loose, and pulled it from the rest. "A wish on an eyelash, hm?" She shut her eyes. "Um... I wish I could experience a new world. A fantasy world, that I can shape as I please." A breath of air, and the eyelash was gone.

'That ponytail you used to wear looked so good it was criminal.'

'Ehhh? Are you retarded? Mm-!'

The next morning, she arose, heart pounding, from what she could only describe as the most lucid, realistic, and... best dream she'd ever had. She shook her head furiously at the last thing she remembered, Kyon kissing her as the the dream world collapsed and gravitated into them.

"ARGHHH, now I'm dreaming about him! Fuuuck, how am I supposed to forget about him with realistic dreams like that?" She made her impression of an annoyed anime face, until she noticed that even though the dream had upped her false hopes, she didn't feel as melancholy as she had the day before.

"Maybe this world isn't so boring..." she murmured. "I guess if Kyon of all the ambivalent people in the world can find fun in it... mm whatever, I'm putting too much meaning into a stupid dream. I'd better be careful what I wish for next time."

The girl rolled out of bed and stripped down to go take a shower. As she passed the mirror, she couldn't help but stop and hold her hair back high and tight. "Ponytail..."

The night before...

"Hey, Itsuki, got the time?"

The esper took a glance at the top of his phone. "I've got 9:33."

"It's been seven minutes; where's the waitress?" Kyon looked back impatiently through the crowded restaurant, still in the irritated mood Haruhi's bad mood had kicked him into. The two had made impromptu plans to go out to eat that night. The rest of the brigade had been invited, but Haruhi's sour mood prompted her to go home, and Mikuru thought it was a bad idea to be out with Kyon, considering the computer incident earlier that day. Yuki had accepted the invitation, and she now patiently read her book, occasionally sipping on her water.

Out of nowhere, a wave of pleasure crashed through Kyon like lightning, resonating in the deepest areas of his body. He inhaled sharply with an almost orgasmic look on his face, gaining him the attention of Itsuki and Yuki. "Are you alright?" asked the former.

As soon as the feeling had come, it was gone, leaving a confused Kyon. "Yeah, sorry, I don't know why that happens occasionally."

Itsuki snickered, then came a hearty silent laugh. Kyon's annoyance level rose. "Care to share something, Koizumi?" he demanded, eyebrows furrowed.

"No, no, I'm sorry, I was thinking of something funny that happened earlier."


"Technically, no," he answered, masterfully avoiding the question. "Ah, our waitress is here."

As the ditzy but... sort of moe waitress apologized profusely, her ponytail bobbing up and down as she bowed, Kyon forgot all about what Itsuki may have known, and his thoughts trailed off to what the Brigade females might look like with ponytails. 'If I'm as special to Haruhi as the others seem to think... I wonder if I could get her to wear one again...? Mental note, work on that.'

Itsuki is a jerk for not telling Kyon why he got a mini-orgasm XD But you have to wonder how he knew/why he came to that conclusion. Dirty boy... Thanks for reading! I wasn't sure how to end it, so I'm sorry if you didn't like it. I originally had a couple of sentences saying which types of ponytails would go best on each girl, but I felt it was too big of a non-sequitur. Feel free to review if you're so compelled! But I'm delicate ;_;