Naruto sat at the Hokage's office with a scowl. His fingers kept moving the mouse from the computer in front of him so he could continue his 'enjoyment' but everything he found pissed him off! He so desperately wanted to backhand the shit out of the computer; however, he knew it wasn't the computers fault. It's the author's fault for making stupid stories with stupid shit that made no sense! He scowled as he read one of the yaoi stories that overpopulate most of the website he's at: fanfiction.
"Why the fuck do people think I'm gay?" He asked with rage boiling over him. He's never been as angry. trust Jesus, the last time he'd been angry was when Sai drew a picture of his penis, and he did THAT extra small. Sai, as a punishment, received a double backhand. His life? Let's just say that oblivion would have been a happy ending for him; but, it wasn't. Poor bastard.
Clicking back, Naruto scrolled through the community sites to hightail all the best and shit. He looked at one such community:1,000 PLUS Extraordinary Fics with Extraordinary Reviews!
He scowled though when he looked at some of the most retarded stories EVER! But, he had to admit, some did make him laugh.
He chuckled a little when clicked back to the page and decided to check out some authors.
Now, as he checked out the authors of the site, Sasuke took the time to walk in. And, he was nervous as shit. The chunin exam was still fresh in his mind after all.
"Ah, Naruto?" Sasuke squeaked out. Kinda of pathetic if anybody heard.
Naruto just ignored him though.
Naruto sighed. "What Sasuke? Can't you see I'm busy?"
Sasuke fidgeted at that. A nervous glance later, he replied; "Well, I was wondering..."
Naruto snapped. "Just get to the point before I backhand the shit out of you!"
"Since you're Hokage I was hoping you would allow me to hunt my brother!" Sasuke gulped when a single digit was raised in the air.
"Come here," Naruto ordered, he finger doing the motions to add more affect; however, instead of going up and down it was going left to right (that finger was ready to backhand the shit out of any unfortunate soul).
"Ah, yes..: Sasuke replied nervously. He walked towards Naruto's desk.
Sasuke scrambled next to him.
In that moment, Naruto stood up and pointed towards his seat. And then pointed at the computer screen. "Read that shit, and tell me what you think."
Sasuke nodded and sat down. He wiped his own sweat and looked at the screen. What he saw... was words? Paragraphs? Perhaps a story? "Uh, wh-?"
"Just fucking read!"
He gulped and started to read the content.
However, after a few minutes Sasuke stood up and was prepared to chakra blast that shit called a computer. But, Naruto stopped him with a kick... a kick? Yes, the back end of his feet. So, Naruto backkicked the shit out him.
Sasuke was in a lot pain but was not unconscious.
"Tell me what's wrong with it Sasuke," Naruto ordered calmy.
"it's Horrible!" Sasuke wept.
"Why is it horrible?"
"Because it's stupid!"
"Because! The characters act like dumbass! Especially my character! They all act like that! But in a more epic wrong level!"
"But the worst part about it is that the title of the story is so misleading!"
"The title says: Naruto Reads Naruto, but this shit has EVERY fucking canon character there! It makes no fucking sense! It just has so many questions you want to ask but you can't because it's pointless! Like, why the fuck would all of them gather in one fucking place? Why the fuck would they act like they are part of the story they are specifically reading? It makes me cry too because it says I became a douche... in THEIR story, but they don't even know ME. Not their me but ME! The irony of it is that I get the feeling that the stupid idiot of an author would place his story in his story which would make his stupid characters read about them self's and they'll realize that they were reading themselves and so a cluster fuck would happen and they would realize that JEsus was not real and that Harry Potter IS real. It's-"
Naruto backhanded Sasuke already. He was getting tired of his rant but it left Naruto satisfied. Thank god I didn't read that piece of shit. He wiped his forehead and looked at Sasuke, who was unconscious. But man, that story must be shit if it made Sasuke act WAY OCC.
But, just to be curious, Naruto at back down and looked at the story. More specifically, it's reviews... "What the fuck? This shit has a thousand?"
Naruto had an epiphany at that moment: People are stupid... ore stupider than the one who writes it... just like the bible.
Few hours later, people would e awestruck when they saw a computer flying out the Hokage's Tower window.
People, to this day, would say it was epic.
The workers who wondered why Naruto, their new Hokage, would do such a thing, would only hear a muttering of, "Fucking TvTropes" when they pass by his office.
Anyways, by the time Naruto finally calmed down, Jiriaya would pass by the window. The reason why he would be passing by and NOT go in was because he feared a backhand. But, he kinda of doubted the rumors. My Godson would never do that after all.
How wrong he is.
Finally made up his choice, Jiriaya jumped into the Hokage office... only to get backhanded (no surprise there).
When he woke up, he found himself in the same office but with his godson behind the desk. If it was somebody else from a foreign nation that looked at the small little kid behind the seat of Hokage and found out that said person IS the Hokage, s/he would of questioned Fire Nation's sanity; however, people wold sill warn him/her about that backhand.
Now, when Jiriaya stood up from the floor he was laying in, he immediately stormed his way towards his godson. "Why you brat!" Jiriaya pretended to be angry, hoping it would scare him.
Naruto merely sighed.
"You backhanded me... didn't you!"
Naruto raised his backhand threateningly.
Jiriaya took a step back out of fear.
"Ok, what do you want Jiraiya?"
"You know who I am?"
"because I checked your wallet after I backhanded you." Naruto tossed him the wallet.
Jiriaya immediately caught it and rummaged through it. He scowled. 'You stole some of my money... didn't you?"
Naruto smiled creepy. It freaked Jiriaya out. "No, You donated the money to the village. You should be proud."
"Haha, you cheeky bastard." Naruto smiled but then it faltered. "You have a point?"
Jiriaya opened his mouth to retort but, Naruto eat him to it. "Just hurry up. You're annoying."
He cleared his throat and pretended not to look insulted. "well, I've been given a mission to search for Tsunade, and I want you to come with me."
Jiriaya was prepared to convince him to come with him but what Naruto said shocked him; "Ok, let's go; I'm bored anyways." Naruto shrugged and walked past him. "I'll meet you at the North gate in ten minutes." He called out over his shoulder, and with that, he left leaving an eye twitching old bastard in his wake.