Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.

Hello everyone. This is a short story that has been sitting in the back for quite some time. I never got round to releasing it because I never got round to finishing it properly, but now it's done and here it is!

It's just a short and (hopefully) funny tale documenting an average day in Gensokyo. And that necessarily means that someone somewhere must somehow create some sort of incident... Enjoy.

Ch. 1: Because of the ongoing financial downturn

"Hey, Alice."


"Why is it that I've never seen a mirror in your house before?" Kirisame Marisa asked, scratching the side of her head.

"Hmmm… That's a good question," Alice paused what she was doing before putting a finger to her lower lip in thought. "Well, why would I need one?" Alice Margatroid shifted her finger to point at Marisa questioningly as she replied to the blonde witch's inquiry with one of her own.

Today was another one of Marisa's unplanned visits to Alice's humble cottage in woods. Alice really disliked those. It was not that she did not like Marisa's presence; she was actually one of the few people she tolerated. Alice would even go so far as to publicly describe her as an acquaintance. But the normally aloof magician did have her values, and her values dictated that she properly entertain her guests in the manner befitting a noble lady, which was really hard to do so if her guests just barged in from the window any time she wanted without giving ample time for her to prepare an adequate welcome.

Her values also dictated that one actually make an appointment before visiting.

"Uh… So you can look at yourself?" Marisa continued the conversation with a commonsensical reply. "I mean, don't you ever need to check out how you look whenever you've washed up in the morning?" The teenage witch fingered her long golden locks. "Or make sure your face is devoid of anything nasty?" she felt the side of her face. "Or how about making sure your attire is creaseless and perfect for the occasion before you go out?" Marisa pulled at the hem of her black skirt overlaid with a white apron.

"What does it matter to you?" her doll-making friend asked, as she finally finished preparing tea. "You're always wearing that same outfit. Same black pinafore. Same scruffy white blouse," Alice laid the tea on the table before Marisa and gave her a glance in an unimpressed manner. "Bet it hasn't been washed in ages too…" she mockingly wrinkled her nose.

"H-Hey! I wash my stuff, okay?" Marisa pouted as she reached for a cup of tea.

"Oh yeah? What's that stain over there on your apron?"

"Wh-What stain?"

"That purple one. Been there since three months, two days and sixteen hours, counting..."

"You're… creeping me out… You actually paid attention to things like this?" Marisa sipped her tea uncomfortably as she averted eyes with a smug looking Alice.

"I'm just meticulous like that," Alice smirked. She even knew the cause of the stain. She was there when it happened; Marisa and Alice were working on a magical endeavour together at the time- Wait… Doesn't that mean the stain is highly toxic…?

"If you're meticulous, how come you don't have something as basic as a mirror?" Marisa pointed out, grinning as Alice's smirk was erased.

"I!- Hmmm...! W-Well… Who puts a mirror in the living room anyway?" Alice huffed, turning to face away from Marisa. "And I certainly don't! Maybe that's why you don't see one!" she said a little more forcefully than she should have, evidently a little sour at being one-upped by Marisa.

"Wha…? What? ! Quite a few people actually do, Alice! It is a décor option…" Marisa raised an eyebrow. Apparently, Alice was rather backwards in house décor… Marisa gave one affirming look around the veryneat but very plain English-styled cottage. It was a quiet little cottage in a quiet little corner of the Forest of Magic, almost like a small, cosy retreat for the usual studious magician who liked their peace and quiet to carry out hours upon hours of magical research. Hard to find, hard to get to, and when it really comes down to it… its mortgage was cheap.

Hey, magical equipment was getting expensive these days…

"In any case, I wasn't just talking about the living room Alice…" Marisa continued, "I mean there certainly isn't any in your bedroom…"

"My bedroom…?" Alice frowned. Th-This witch! Does she not know her limits? "Hey, Marisa! You can't just go strolling into other people's bedrooms!" Alice was indignant at the revelation that another of her personal values was violated yet again by Marisa. "That's private space-"

"What? It wasn't like I went in there only once…" Marisa mentioned offhandedly.

Alice's eyes flew wide open. "Huh? ! Alright, that's just too much Marisa-"

"I've even been in your bed too, da ze…" Marisa's sly golden eyes shifted to get a better look.

"… Wh- What? !" Alice was now flaring up. "Wh-When? !"

"I think the question you should ask is…" Marisa reached across from her seat to put a finger on Alice's lips, happy at the effect she was achieving on Alice. "With whom?" Marisa looked expectant.

Alice stared at Marisa with a shocked expression, momentarily stunned. Marisa's lips curved into a naughty smile, eternally satisfied with her workmanship. Alice-plosion in three, two…


"Woah! Woah! Hey, hey, hey… I'm just pulling your leg, ze!" Marisa quickly rushed over to hug and try to soothe Alice, laughing as she placed a hand over the flaming puppeteer to try to put out the fire before it really got starting.

"Mphf mphf mpfh!" Alice struggled, eyes glaring. "Gah! That's not funny , Marisa!" Alice pulled Marisa's hand away from her mouth, cheeks red from anger and rosy from being embraced. "And get away from me, you jerk!" Alice irritably but playfully pushed Marisa away.

"Hahaha… All joking aside," Marisa paused to straighten her witch hat, "You still haven't answered my question."

"Well, you've already said you didn't see a mirror in my bedroom. So?" Alice asked, still not answering Marisa's question.

"No, no, I mean, why the lack of mirrors?" Marisa clarified herself. "Not even your bathroom has one! And that has just got to be creepy!"

"Why, do you feel it's creepy to not have mirrors?" Alice failed to answer the question. "Personally, I find mirrors rather creepy myself…"

"Is that… why you don't have any mirrors?" Marisa asked, puzzled. Was that Alice's reason? "Are you afraid of mirrors?"

"I'm not afraid of anything!" Alice denied.

"Then why do you not have any mirrors?"

"Since when do mirrors have anything to do with fear?"

"I don't know? You just said you found mirrors creepy, I'm assuming you have a phobia or something-"

"Marisa," Alice swiftly cut in, "Do I look like I have a phobia?" she asked tersely. "Do I look like I'm afraid of anything, or am terrified of anything? Do I look weak to you, Marisa?" Alice was being a little more confrontational than usual.

Marisa scratched her chin and gave Alice one good, hard look. Short, soft blonde hair. A slim figure, wrapped in a blue dress. White caplet, tied with a pretty little ribbon. Blue eyes and delicious, delicious knee-high boots. (a/n: Guess my fetish…)

"Well, you look like you have a terrible fear of ugliness, beautiful," Marisa smoothly complemented.

"U-Uwah! I!" Alice startled at Marisa's sudden complement. "Th-Thank you!" Alice's mood immediately swung the other way as she looked down and clasped her cheeks, blushing.

"So why do you not have a mirror to look at your pretty little self?" Marisa sneakily got back on topic.

"Gyah! Would you stop with the mirrors? !" Alice quickly got out of her blush.

"I don't know… Are you actually avoiding a simple question on mirrors?" Was she really? Marisa was starting to get suspicious of Alice.

"Look… Listen to how absurd you sound right now," Alice said, an annoyed expression on her face. "You're inquiring about mirrors."

"And you're refusing to answer a simple little question!" Marisa countered. "Are you hiding something from me?"

"I-I'm not!" Alice was started to get really irritated at Marisa's probing. "And even if I do have a secret, I don't have to share it with you, do I?"

"Aw, don't be like that Alice!" Marisa pleaded. "If you have any secrets, you can share them with me, honest!" Marisa placed a hand to her chest, as though that action would increase others' trust in her. "I mean, I already know many of the secrets you didn't want to tell me before," Marisa added casually and most helpfully.

"…" Alice stared at Marisa with utter disbelief. "Alright… Alright! That's IT!" Alice strode quickly to the main door and flung it open, her patience finally at its end. "OUT," Alice demanded.


"Out," Alice repeated herself.

Marisa gave Alice one very suspicious look, then walked out the door, grumbling, "Geez… Throwing a friend out over a simple question about mirrors!"

Alice shut the door on Marisa.

"Fine! If that's how you want to behave, you stupid introvert!" Marisa's voice carried through the wood of the door, causing Alice to wince a little. Ouch, that one really hurt…

Alice glanced out the window to see the boisterous witch take off on her broom, evidently still fuming at being thrown out, before giving a little humph and turning to her now empty and quiet house. Sigh… Peace at last… And what was that all about? Alice slumped her back against the wall and looked down, almost immediately regretting her act of chasing Marisa out. She really should not have lost her temper like that… Marisa might take it rather hard and seriously…

Alice gazed up at the ceiling a little guiltily. Ah well… thought Alice. It's Marisa. She'll get over it soon, Alice tried to mentally comfort herself.

And who knows? Alice gave herself a wry grin. Knowing her, she'll probably be back with yet another silly idea…