Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, and I
am making no money with this. It's only for fun...however, I do own the
plot and the poem, so don't steal it.
Warning: This story contains a serious topic, namely Child Abuse. If you can't hande that, go away.
Notes: It was a saturday evening when I started to write this. I was inspired by a song in the radio and a poem I had written before - I involved this poem("Broken Wings") in the story, so please don't steal the italic lines...they are all mine. It's a sad story; hopefully you've read the warning.Terrible things are happening day by day, and sometimes I just feel totally helpless...like the two main characters in this piece. No, I won't tell you who it is, you will find out when you read it. Thanks again to Settiai who was so nice and beta-read the story. And please keep always in your mind that I'm German; stupid grammatical mistakes may appear here and there, although I try my best to avoid them. ~Kaeera
It should be raining....
Nobody noticed the boy. People were walking by,
enjoying the sunlight and laughing. The day was warm, no clouds covering the
sky. It was a beautiful day.
The boy sat in the grass of the park and watched the people around him. He was the only one who didn't look happy.
'It should be raining:', he thought. 'In books
it's always raining when the main character is sad.'
A wry grin crossed his face. 'Guess I'm no main character, then...'
But the grin faded, and his face changed back to normal again. Although you couldn't call this expression normal; it was far too depressed for his usual behaviour.
'Why's the world that happy?', he wondered and
stared at all the people. 'How can they be that happy when such terrible things
'Hell, how could I have been happy before? I lived my life without noticing this...'
He felt guilty. Incredible guilty...
He brushed his brown hair out of his face and
The sun is shining...but everything seems to be grey. I hear the birds. Hear them singing. But I can't enjoy the song.
Guilt...that was what he felt. He had been responsible.
He should have noticed something...but nobody did. Nobody! How...how could they've
overseen this? How? Didn't they care enough? Didn't they look? Didn't they pay
In an all-too-familiar gestured he touched his head, wanting to take his precious goggles - but they weren't there. He had given them away long ago.
Suddenly someone sat down beside him. Taichi perked
up, but could only recognize a shadowy figure against the sun. "Leave me
alone, Yamato.", he said quietly, staring back at the blue sky. It seemed
so wrong...when he looked at it, he had to think of the beach, summer, ice-cream...laughter,
happiness! It wasn't right! It should be raining!
"No way.", his blonde friend answered.
"Please.", Taichi's voice sounded tired and distant.
"No. You're far too upset. And you're blaming yourself, like always. I won't let you do that."
"Practising for your career as psychologist, huh?"
"Of course.", Yamato grinned a little, then came back to serious. "Come on, Taichi. Talk with me."
"Do I have to beg you?"
"That would certainly be a wonderful experience, but it wouldn't help you much."
"You know...", Yamato sighed, "Usually it is always me who won't talk. And you threaten me to beat me until I've told you everything. I don't want to do the same thing."
"Then go away."
"Never. What I wanted to say is: It helps,
Taichi. Talk with me about it, and I will listen. You need to talk. I know what's
bothering you, and it has no use when you keep it bottled inside."
Taichi closed his eyes in frustration. "Can't you just go away?", he groaned.
"Nope. I'm stubborn, too."
"I know.", he glared at his friend. "Then I will leave.", the brown-haired boy stood up and walked away. Footsteps told him that his friend was following him. "Yamato...", he growled.
"I won't leave you alone until you've talked
with me.", the blonde stated determined.
Taichi threw his hands up in the air. "I just want to be ALONE! Is this too much for you or don't you understand the meaning of the world alone???", he shouted, but Yamato stayed calm.
"Of course I know it. And I remember the numerous times I told YOU to leave me alone...and you never did it. And you know what? In the end I was glad you didn't. So don't shout at me; it won't help you.", he crossed his arms and glared at his friend.
Taichi sighed and looked down on the ground. For
several minutes both of them were silent. Then the bearer of the crest of courage
let himself fall down into the grass. "You know...", he whispered,
"The weather shouldn't be that nice. It should be raining."
Yamato sat down beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. "But it can't rain forever.", he said softly.
"I know.", Taichi answered. "It's just...well...it's so mean! All these people, they are so lucky, so happy! Like I used to be until I....knew about this...ya-know-what..."
"I understand, Taichi, I understand.", Yamato voice sounded depressed, "You yourself feel so down, and you think that everybody should feel the same way. But that's not how life works. There are happy and unhappy people out there. And we can't make happy people unhappy just because we are...they have their right to be like that. They have their right to enjoy their life."
"Why didn't we notice it?", Taichi asked and stared at his hands. "Why didn't we see it?"
Yamato shook his head. "I don't know. I really don't know. I'm always searching in my memory, but I never find any scenes in which I suspected something like...that. Never. I thought that he had a beautiful life. Sometimes I even was jealous of him!"
"But...how could he hide something like this?
I mean, Matt, we are his friends, we should have noticed at least _something_!!!
It was my fault that it came so far! I should have paid attention, it's my responsibility
as a friend..."
"Stop it, Taichi!", the blonde barked and took his friends by the shoulders. "Never talk like that! It isn't your fault. YOU didn't do this to him, this were different people. Maybe we are guilty because we didn't notice it...but then we all together are guilty, every one of us! He's a good actor. He tricked every one of us...So don't blame yourself, Taichi. Don't do that. You couldn't have prevented it. My god, you are my best friend! It's a privilege to have you as a friend! No. It wasn't your fault."
Spirit has left
Leaving soulless Eyes
Closing the windows to the soul
Just faded images of a better life
"A good actor?", Taichi cried. "I'm a good friend? So why did he never tell us? Why did he keep it? You are supposed to trust your friends! But he didn't trust us enough to tell his...secret. He didn't believe that we would help him!"
"I don't think that's why he didn't tell us about it.", Yamato pointed out.
"I think he was scared.", the blonde boy started to explain. "He was scared that somebody might find out and...I've read reports about similar cases, Taichi. Cases which lasted years. The victims were so frightened that a picture was enough and they would flip out - of fear. I think he has never learnt how to trust. It isn't easy."
"But you trust your friends, don't you?"
"Actually...", Yamato smiled, "I had to learn how to trust myself. Before I went to the digital world with you guys, I didn't trust anyone. I thought that they would just go away, like my mother did with TK. I believed that I had a better - an easier - life when I stayed alone. Ya know, the cool guy. Never shows emotions, never attaches to people. Easy life.", his eyes became distant for a moment.
"But everything changed when I met Gabumon. And you. Although we were fighting all the time, I trusted you enough to let TK stay with you. For the first time in my life. It was a hard task, but I managed it...because I had friends."
He stopped, searching for the right words. "Maybe he would have told us. Maybe, after some time, he would have started to trust us enough so that he told - at least - one of his friends about this."
"But now it's too late.", Taichi stated sadly.
"Yes. I know."
Once full of fantasy, of life
Now dead and black
Pieces lying on the ground
"Have you visited him?", Taichi wanted to know.
"Not yet. TK did, and he told me about his current...state. I must admit, I'm a little bit afraid of seeing him like that."
"Yeah, I know what you mean."
"You visited him?"
"Yes.", Taichi opened his eyes and stared
right at Yamato. "And it was the most horrible experience in my whole life."
Yamato waited silently until Taichi had pulled himself together and was ready to continue.
"I hate hospitals.", he told Matt. "They are so...depressing. Especially the children section. I mean, it's colorful and there are toys everywhere...so meant to look jolly and encouraging...but there is this smell of death in the air, the smell of sickness...it's really depressing."
Taichi smiled nervously. "But that was nothing against the view I had in this room. I was only allowed for five minutes, together with Kari. And...I don't know...somehow I expected that nothing had changed. That he would smile at me, saying something stupid. That his eyes would sparkle like they always do."
He hesitated again, finding it more and more difficult to tell what he had seen. "But...but his eyes didn't sparkle. He didn't even look at us, Yamato. He was curled up in his bed, in a corner of his bed, and he looked so frightened and fragile...I couldn't believe it! I thought that we had entered the wrong room...I couldn't be! But he had the same brown spiky hair...and on a table in the corner were lying some goggles, MY goggles..."
"I walked nearer, Kari beside me. There was
a nurse in the room which told us that we shouldn't touch him, because he was
afraid of physical contact. We could talk to him, but only softly."
"What did you say?", Yamato wanted to know.
Taichi's eyes darkened at the memory, and he shuddered when he recalled the scene in the hospital room....
"Don't shout, don't touch him.", the nurse ordered. Both Kamiya's nodded and glanced at their friend.
"Davis?", Taichi asked softly, waiting for a response.
"Daisuke?", Hikari tried, but she didn't
get an answer. "We came to visit you....", she continued and stared
help-seeking at her brother. "She's right, buddy.", Taichi said, trying
to sound cheerful. "Ya know, we were missing you out there..."
Still not a response.
"Davis, please say something.", Kari
begged, but the girl knew already that it had no use. After all, the doctors
had told them all about the 'illness' their friend was suffering from. She walked
a few steps closer to the bed. What then happened startled everybody.
Daisuke jumped out of the bed and raced as far away from Hikari as possible, pressing himself in the opposite corner of the room, legs trembling and his eyes...wide of fear.
Taichi felt the sudden urge to break someone's neck at the view of the boy. My god, how could anyone look so...scared?
And...he didn't really see them! He was staring through them, unaware of his surroundings.
"Davis...", Taichi whispered, desperately wanting to hug his friends and painfully knowing that it would only cause more fear.
The smaller boy had now curled up in the corner and was hugging his knees. "Can't we help him?", Tai had croaked out, but the nurse had only shook her head. "He won't recognize you. Right now he's living in his own world, totally unaware of his surroundings. It's better you leave now...your five minutes are over."
Eyes staring into the space
Not seeing their surroundings
Unable to shine with laughter
Unable to glint with mischief
"My god...", Yamato whispered shocked. "I didn't know that it was that bad. I mean, I somehow believed that everybody was exaggerating and...", he realized that he was starting to babble.
"Why did they do this?", Taichi asked. "Why can anyone do this? To a child...he's twelve! He still has his whole life...but this will affect him forever! How can anybody be so cruel?"
Both boys stayed silent. A soft wind was breezing, and in the near a blackbird started to sing its beautiful melody. Yamato laid back on the grass and stared into the blue sky, like Taichi did.
"I think I agree with you.", he said suddenly. "It should be raining."
"Yeah.", made Taichi. "A rainstorm.
Cold, icy cold and so wet that you can swim in the air. Really
BAD weather. It would definitely fit to my mood."
"But it wouldn't help anybody."
"Maybe. It's just not right that the weather is so beautiful while our friend suffers through this."
They were silent again, shocked by the recent
events and not understanding the cruelty of the world.
Suddenly Taichi laughed; a short, bitter laugh. "Matt...isn't it funny? We've fought against so many evil digimon...and we have always won. But against this evil, this evil who lived under us, who wasn't a digimon, but a human-being, against this we couldn't win. No. We didn't even notice it."
"It wasn't your fault."
"Yeah. Whatever. I still feel guilty."
"So do I."
"Then why are you lecturing me?"
"Because otherwise you would only blame yourself and sink into depression."
"You talk of depression!"
"Well, I've the experience."
"Proud of it, huh?"
"Oh yeah, of course. Go, dream in your sleep."
"I wanted to go, but you didn't leave me."
"Oho, coming back to this, ne?"
"I wanted to be alone."
* * *
"Taichi...", Matt asked. "What do you think; will he ever recover?"
"I...I really have no idea. If I hadn't seen him, I would say yes. Immediately. Because Daisuke was always strong. Kinda like me, ya know. I would have said that he would need his time, but that he would recover with the help of his friends..."
"And now, when you have seen him?"
"I'm not sure anymore.", Taichi covered his face with his hands. "I feel bad for it, but I can't believe that he will ever recover! Matt, I've seen him! There was nothing left of the Davis we know! Nothing! He was like a totally different person!"
Wings are Broken
Were meant to fly
Remaining on the ground
"Maybe, but we can't give up hope!", Yamato pointed out.
"I know...I didn't say that I stop hoping. It's just that my heart can't believe it...can this be undone? Can you heal his heart when it has been hurt like this?"
"No.", the blonde whispered. "Only he himself can."
"Exactly. And when there's nothing left of Daisuke Motomiya...then who else?"
"That's what I meant."
The blackbird had stopped singing. Taichi closed his eyes and could feel the sun on his face. Warm. Friendly. Nice. He balled his fists. "Sometimes I wish that I could kill them for what they've done. really, if I would meet them...I know that I would regret it, but I wouldn't be able to restrain my temper."
"I think I would feel the same way."
The friends chuckled slightly. "By the way...", Yamato continued their conversation, "What's with Jun? Have you seen her?"
"Yeah, I met her at the hospital.", Taichi told him. "She wasn't as bad as Davis...they treated her better."
"He didn't hit her?", Yamato asked unbelievingly.
"He did. But not as often and not as hard as he hit Daisuke."
"Why didn't _she_ tell?"
"Because her father threatened that he would kill her brother AND beat her until she couldn't move when she would say one word about the whole affair. And to make sure, he would let watch her every time he hurt Daisuke."
"That's....incredible.", Yamato was speechless. "What a bastard!"
"His mother wasn't any better."
"But she didn't hit him, did she?"
"No. But she watched and never did anything
to prevent it. Sometimes she told him mean things
about being a failure and so on....mental torture."
"Yeah...I still can't understand why nobody did notice. Did no neighbour hear the screams? Did no friend, teacher, relative, whatever see the bruises?"
"They probably only hit him on places he could cover with clothes."
Shadow darkening the sun
Destroyed every hope
Every laughter, smile, cry, spirit, dream, memory
"I thought it would be a fluke when I got the call...", Yamato said.
"Me, too. At first I laughed. I didn't realize that it was serious."
"That he would be in the hospital..."
"That he had been abused by his parents...I even told the speaker that that was a VERY bad joke, because I knew the Motomiya's and they were a little bit crazy, but not THAT crazy..."
"Guess you've been wrong."
"If I just had been right for this one time..."
"Who found it out, by the way?"
"What? Really?", Yamato sat up and looked at Taichi. "How?"
"He called Davis, and when nobody answered, he came over to his apartment. The door was open, and so he entered. The living room must have been a mess. And in the middle there was Daisuke, lying in a pool of his own blood, unconscious. Obviously his father had been very furious, because he had not only beaten the boy, but stabbed him with a knife, too. Then he left the flat and drove away in his car, the blood stained knife on the seat. The police found him in the city two hours later..."
"And in the hospital they discovered that Daisuke had been abused over a longer time..."
"Exactly. They told the police, and the brought
Mr.Motomiya into the prison. Hope he stays there until
"And Mrs. Motomiya?"
"WHAT? While her son was stabbed to death?"
Yamato shook his head. "I always thought that I had a lousy father, but now I have to realize that he's one of the best parents of the world...I mean, he actually cares about me, although he's barely at home and can't cook."
"I feel sorry for Jun.", Taichi stated, ignoring Yamato's little rant. "Having to watch how your brother is beaten up....if I imagine that with Kari...", he shuddered.
"Yeah...the same with TK. Poor girl must feel terrible."
"And they worst is that she doesn't have a place to go."
"Huh? Why that?"
"Duh, because her parents are in prison."
"Oh. I forgot about that."
"Well, she certainly won't forget it."
Then they fell silent again. They just laid there, side by side and stared into the sky, each of them lost in their own, gloomy thoughts. Time passed and they didn't notice. The sun disappeared behind a cloud and the soft breeze became cooler.
"Didn't his father say a reason _why_ he did this?", Yamato wanted to know.
"He did. but these reasons are the...worst crap I've ever heard!", Taichi's voice sounded angry, "He told the police that his son was a failure and that he had only tried to change him...because he wanted that he wouldn't suffer in his later life."
"Of course. But he did believe it - and still does."
"Why did he take the knife?"
"From what I've heard Daisuke has started to fight back over the last months; and this time he must have told his father some really bad things; that he wouldn't endure this or something like that. Nobody really knows, because his father won't tell it and the neighbours have only heard pieces of the conversation. But Davis made his father so angry that the man took the knife to 'silence' his son..."
"I don't know what to say..."
"What will happen with the Motomiya siblings? They don't have a home, don't have money..."
"Who will pay the hospital bill?"
"Exactly. And the psychologist Daisuke will need..."
"Maybe you can start to practice on him...", Taichi joked in an effort to lighten the mood.
"You would prefer that, huh?", Yamato grinned, "No way."
"Perhaps their parents have to pay for them. After all, they caused all this. It would only be fair."
"Do they have any relatives where they can stay?"
"I have no idea...Davis never talked much about his Family."
"Well, now you know the reason."
"He could stay with us, ya know.", Taichi suggested. His friend looked at him. "Tai, be realistic. Your flat is too small, and what would your parents say about two extra children? Especially when one of the kids is apathetic..."
"I don't like this word.", Taichi muffled. "Apathetic. It sounds so...wrong. I never expected to use this word in the same sentence with 'Daisuke'!"
Some birds were flying away, over the two boys. The park had emptied, and the were the only human-beings on the wide grass area. Grey clouds were moving about the sky.
"Hey, looks at if it would rain soon!", Tai said hopefully.
"Maybe we should head home." , Yamato suggested, glancing worriedly at the sky.
"No. If it rains, I want to be in the middle of it."
"Want to suffer, huh?"
"Exactly.", Taichi smiled a little, "Ya know, it sounds stupid, but I feel that I have to suffer with him...even if that means to stay outside in the cold rain. It would make me feel better if I would be miserable, too...sheez, that's really stupid."
"It is. But I can understand you.", Yamato grinned. "Ya know what? I will stay with you. Let us suffer together."
"We are stupid, aren't we?"
Drops started to fall, one meeting Taichi's nose
with a soft 'splash'. He closed his eyes and stretched his arms. "Finally
the right weather!", he said satisfied.
Soon more raindrops met their body, and the wind became colder. Yamato shivered. "We could get ill, ya know."
"I don't feel like being responsible."
"You are _never_ responsible.", came the sarcastic reply.
The brunette chuckled. "Like you. Hey, I hope my parents won't be worried."
"I told them that I would only go for a short walk....Kari wanted to go with me, but I refused, telling that I wanted to be alone.", he looked on his watch. "Hmm, must have been a very long walk...I'm in this park for over three hours now."
Now the rain became stronger, drenching their clothes and soaking their hair. Thunderbolts could be heard. But the two friends smiled.
"My father doesn't even know that I'm not at home.", Yamato admitted sheepishly.
"Hey, he will be worried."
"It's a luck."
"What? That he worries?"
"Yeah. I mean, Daisuke's parents surely never worried about him when he stayed out for too long. Must be terrible. Coming home and sensing that nobody has missed you..."
"I think when I come home I will hug my mom."
"Yep. I haven't done that for years, but now I realize that she really earns a hug...although she's a lousy cook.", Taichi snickered.
"Hey, it's a good idea.", Yamato admitted. "Maybe I'll do that, too. Man. Dad would think that I went mad..."
"Let them think what they want."
Yamato glanced at his friend. "Well, with you it's different. Your mother surely knows that you are a weirdo, but my dad thinks that I am a honourable young man with an attitude..."
"Your dad thinks that you are a untidy teen with a love for rock music.", came the sarcastic response.
* * *
It surely was funny to watch them both. Digidestined of Courage and Friendship lying on wet grass, while it was raining like mad. Everybody tries to leave the rain as soon as possible, only these two young men seemed to enjoy it - although they were shivering of the cold.
Taichi closed his eyes, feeling the heavy teardrops slashing against his eyelids. His fingers felt numb and cold. But somehow he felt better than before. Matt had been right, it really helped to talk. He still couldn't understand why this had happened...and he still felt guilty. He knew that this guilt wouldn't go away that easily - but yet his heart felt relieved. The vision of the small fragile boy appeared again and again in his head, and suddenly he decided determined that he would do everything to help his friend. No.
They would do everything to help their friend.
They all together. Old and new digidestined, and probably Jun, too. They couldn't
let their friend down.
And maybe, maybe...he would manage it to smile again. Just a small smile, a curl of the lips...but his eyes would shine of laughter. Sparkle.
He brown-haired boy smiled and sat up. "Yamato...", his voice trailed off, nearly inaudible in the rain. "Thanks."
His friend grinned and brushed the wet hair out of his face. "You're welcome." Then he sneezed. "Uh-oh. Guess I've caught a cold."
Taichi rubbed his hands together. "Yeah.
Me too. I think we should head home now."
They both stood up and laughed when they realized how wet they were...as if they had jumped into the river. "My mother will be angry...", Taichi said gloomily, looking down at his soaked and dirty clothes.
"No.", Yamato answered softly. "I think she will understand."
"Hm. Think you are right. You never know with this woman."
"Well, then...we'll see each other tomorrow."
"Yes. Tomorrow.", Taichi looked down on his hands.
"The next time when...when you visit him....can I come with you?", Matt hesitated, "Because...I just owe him this. I mean, we were never that close, but still....I couldn't stand it to go there alone."
"I know. Of course I'll come with you."
"Thanks. See ya tomorrow. Bye!"
The waved at each other and left the park, each
boy following his own direction and his own trail of thoughts. The water kept
falling down the sky, and it was so dark that you nearly needed a lamp to recognize
anything. On a day like this, it should be raining. It should rain forever,
matching to the grief in the hearts of the people.
But the world keeps moving, whatever we do.
Birds singing in the trees
Warming the white covers
The hint of a smile
Hope begins to grow
You can't repair them
But you can learn to live with them
It depends on you now. I actually planned this to be an one-shot. But my friend Settiai said that it was worth continuing...What do you think? Maybe I will continue when enough people say that they want me to...Child Abuse is a very serious topic and I don't know if I'm good enough to write about it. Please tell me your honest opinion; I would like to improve. Comments like 'Gaaaah! Cool' are nice, but usually they don't help much...they just bust my ego(although I can need that from time to time^^).
And feel always free to mail me with comments, criticism or whatever: firstname.lastname@example.org