I don't own glee. I hate eggplant but I love reviews.
The Hurt Locker
"It raining men! Hallalueh! It's raining... Goddammit Kurt! Have I told you lately how much I hate you?"
Kurt just giggled and snorted "So you have become a hapless victim of my evil ear worm scheme! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"
"You gotta work on that evil laugh, it sounds pathetic." Dave grumbled
"You sound whiney." Kurt retorted, "So did you catch it from Finn?" Kurt asked smiling up at his body guard as they walked along the halls of McKinley.
"No from Puck. I was sitting in history with him and every now and again he would start humming 'It's Raining Men'; he would realize what he was doing and then curse out Finn. It was fucking hilarious until I started humming the same song at lunch when I was with the football players. They did not appreciate it. By the end of the lunch period, some of the guys left the cafeteria humming 'It's raining men' as well. Funny as that is, I know that's going to come back later and bite me in the ass."
Kurt laughed, thrilled by his success, "I can't believe my ear worm spread so far. You'll be happy to know, I won't be doing it any longer. Finn has finally caught on and has asked me to stop playing my new gay play list on the way to school."
"Really? He said 'gay play list'? I can't imagine that you let him get away with that."
"Of course I didn't. He didn't actually call it a gay play list. In fact he almost turned himself into a pretzel trying to find non-offensive words to describe my playlist without using the word gay, homosexual, faggy or queer. In the end he found it impossible, especially since I decided to be insulted no matter what he said."
"So you've been blasting him with those gay anthem songs all week to give him the ear worms in the first place, and then you pretend to be offended when he asks you to stop?" Dave laughed and slapped Kurt on back. He gave his shoulder an affectionate squeeze and shake. "You are an evil douche when you want to be. Do you know that?" Dave said smiling. The jock quickly removed his hand when he realized he was touching Kurt and anxiously looked around the halls to see if anybody saw him.
Kurt glanced over at Dave; he had been surprised by the friendly physical contact since the jock never touched him. It was almost like they were good friends. Though Dave moved his hand away, and shoved it deep in his pocket, he was still smiling and keeping eye contact. Kurt adored making Dave smile or laugh. The boy was so morose most of the time, yet when he smiled, his whole face was transformed. He became lighter, more boyish, and more handsome. Kurt fervently wished that Dave could break through his demons and learn to accept himself and become happy someday soon.
They finally reached Kurt's class and Dave was all business. "Okay, wait in the class for me after the lesson and I will be here to escort you to your car safely."
Kurt smiled at the larger boy, recognising how much he had really come to appreciate Dave's protection. Being named Prom Queen at Prom Night had shaken Kurt and made him realize how little had changed at McKinley High. There were still lots of bigotry and small mindedness. He was so grateful for the big step Dave was taking to protect him. The jock couldn't hide behind the Bullywhips group anymore since it was disbanded by Principal Figgins. Santana had lost all interest in the group once she lost the crown and worse, she went a little "Lima Heights" on the very students she was supposed to protect since she figured they hadn't voted for her. Yet Dave still accompanied Kurt to almost every class despite the jokes and rumours circulating about the pair. Dave still went around and protected other kids when he saw them bullied, but it was obvious to everyone that Kurt was his main concern.
"I won't be going to my car, I have an extra Glee rehearsal tonight. Mr. Schue's really working us hard preparing us for the upcoming nationals."
"Okay so I'll escort you to Glee. I suppose Finn will be going home with you?"
"Yes I'll be fine once I get to Glee practise."
"Great, see you after class." Dave said as he turned to walk down the hall. Kurt could hear him starting to hum "It's Raining Men" again as he went off to class. Kurt felt a warm glow of affection for his ex-bully as he watched him saunter away, forget earworms, Dave had certainly wormed his way into Kurt's heart over the last month.
Kurt glanced at his watch again and let out an irritated sigh. He was going to be late for Glee class if Dave didn't hurry up. One of the things that surprised Kurt was that the jock was always punctual, and very serious about his task of protecting Kurt. Perhaps Dave's teacher kept him behind? Kurt was surprised he hadn't got a message from Dave by now. Kurt's phone vibrated as if on cue and Dave's text appeared:
Kurt, can you come to the boy's locker room before Glee? There's something very important I really need to discuss with you. DK
That's odd, thought Kurt, why the boy's locker room? Couldn't they discuss whatever his issues were as they walked to Glee? Kurt hadn't been in the locker room since the kiss. Did Dave pick that place on purpose? Kurt decided that the thing Dave wanted to discuss must be extremely sensitive and private. He quickly texted a confirmation and walked with purpose down the hall. He smiled at the realization that he felt absolutely no qualms about of meeting Dave in the locker room; they had made so much progress as friends that he trusted Dave implicitly.
Kurt marched through the locker room doors and stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes opened like saucers and his mouth fell open. There in the main open area, Dave sat on a bench looking nervous and scared. Four or five members of the football team plus another couple of hockey players stood around him very attentively. The atmosphere was electric with dread and anticipation. David locked eyes with Kurt and his face drained of colour.
"Kurt!" Dave gasped out, "Run!"