Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight and I don't. No copyright infringement is intended. This is purely for F-U-N and in no way meant for commercial purposes.

A/N: I know I said it would only be 2 chapters, but it ran away with me…what can I say!


CHAPTER 3 – Truth & Consequences

Emmett could not believe what he was seeing. Sitting in a muddy puddle at the bottom of the six foot high security fence, a nicely upholstered woman, with long brown hair and blue eyes, was holding onto the pants of a slender blonde woman, whose lily white ass and long legs dangled on this side of the fence. Damned if she wasn't flashing a tiny pair of Tinker Bell panties, too.

"What's going on out here, Em?" Edward asked, suddenly appearing from around the corner his trailer. He sauntered up to stand beside him.

"Dude, we've got company," Emmett laughed, pointing at the two women.

The blonde finally managed to reach the ground and retrieve her absent jeans from the dark haired one. She had already succeeded in getting one leg covered and was hopping in a circle on one foot, trying to finish putting the other leg in. Just as she got her foot pushed through the leg opening, she slipped and fell hard on her butt, splattering even more mud on the dark haired woman.

With a look of complete disgust, the dark haired woman held out her hand to the fragile blonde, offering to help her up. The embarrassed blonde took it and heaved herself to her feet. Once they were standing side by side, the blonde nudged the brunette with her shoulder, looked up through her lashes and smiled. Then, they both started giggling.

"Ahem," Emmett cleared his throat, instantly silencing their inappropriate humor.

While Emmett was pissed off that these women had gotten this close to their objective, Edward struggled to keep a grin from splitting his face. Feeling a sudden vibration in his pants pocket, Emmett stepped a few feet away to discretely answer his cell phone. At one point in the whispered conversation, he paused to stoop down and pocket something he found lying on the ground near the fence.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen." Edward stepped forward, hand outstretched to shake the brunette´s hand gently.

"Um…ah, he...hello. My name is Charlotte Hager…um, Char, and this is my best friend, Rebecca…well, Becky… Masters. We're so sorry to intrude like this, but…oh, we're such big fans and…um, we've been trying to see you in person for so long and maybe get your autograph or a picture…or something, and…uh, it just never has worked out, so…um, ah…we thought if we could find you where there wasn't such a crowd…. Yeah, well…that sounds pretty lame, huh?"

"Oh, Mr. Cullen…uh, Edward," DD pushed her way in front of TT and grabbed his hand. "It wasn't my idea, honest! She made me come out here with her! I would have waited forever to see you in person, but TT's always so impatient and she just wouldn't listen… and she had this hair-brained idea…and…"

"Ladies, ladies," Edward laughed at their pathetic apologies. "Let's get you both inside and dried off a bit…then we'll talk, shall we?"

He lifted an eyebrow in Em's direction. Slapping his cell phone shut, Emmett nodded his permission to proceed. Edward didn't see the swift kick in the ass Char gave Becky when he looked away.

Practically bouncing, the girls each grabbed onto one of his arms for dear life as they made their way into Edward's trailer. He took their familiarity in stride; after all, they were "his" girls…his fans.

I watch Edward disappear behind a door down the hall, leaving us standing there shivering, both from nerves and the clammy feeling of cold, damp clothing against our skin. Looking around the living room, I'm surprised to see a typical man cave. Clothing, guitars, pizza boxes and a variety of take-out food containers decorate every available surface. An overflowing ashtray sits on the coffee table next to a closed laptop. This pretty much proves he's a real human being…not a fantasy. Emmett watches us intently from his seat on the couch as Edward returns with a thick, fluffy towel for each of us. We thank him quietly and dry ourselves off as best we can under the circumstances.

"So, Char…and Becky, of course," Edward says, a panty melting smirk gracing his handsome face. "It's been quite a night for you two and I'm afraid there's an early morning call with my name on it. I'd like to thank you both for 'dropping in' but I'm afraid your *ahem* 'visit' will have to be short lived. Now that you are fairly dry and warmed up a bit, Emmett and I will give you a ride back to your car."

"TT!," Poking me none too lightly in the ribs with a sharp elbow, DD leans against my shoulder and whispers near my ear "ask if we can get a picture of us with him."

She's whispering loud enough for Edward to hear her.

"That's the second time I've heard you refer to Char as 'TT,' Becky. What's that about?" he asks.

I watch DD drift automatically into her signature flirt move. Leaning her right cheek into the palm of her hand…long, wavy blonde hair drifting artfully down the side of her face, she peers up at him through long lashed, sparkling violet eyes.

Oh no she didn't! The urge to slap her up side the head is nearly overwhelming. SHIT! No mortal man can resist "the move." She'd proven that hundreds of times. I can't say as I blame Steve for being such a jealous bastard if he has to watch her unconsciously unleash that power on anything with three legs!

"Yes…um, that's Char's online name. Texas Tornado, I mean. I just got into the habit of shortening it to TT and, well, my online name is Delta Dawn, so TT just calls me DD," she stammers, snagging his attention.

"Texas Tornado?" Edward turns to face me. "Haven't I seen you post a comment or two on MEoW recently?"

"Wait…what? You mean it really was you? You really do go onto MEoW? I mean, yeah…that was me," I reply, desperately trying to remember what I'd posted, hoping it wasn't too embarrassing. Oh, hell! But I had gotten my wish…Edward Cullen knew my name. EDWARD FREAKIN' CULLEN knew my name! Fuck, yeah!

"Guilty as charged," he laughs. "All you fit ladies are very entertaining in your outrageous enthusiasm."

I allow as how us Edh00rs could get pretty damned outrageous, irreverent, rude, crude, and probably tattooed! But, he obviously doesn't get what he means to us. I can't help myself…I just gotta let him know!

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen, but…"

"Edward, please," he insists, and I nearly wet myself at his devastating smile.

"Oh! Yes…um, of course, Edward…" I begin again, desperately trying to stifle an unruly giggle.

"Well, you see, we may be entertaining to you, but do you have any idea what you've done for us?"

"What I've done?"he asks, clearly astonished. He glances at Emmett and they both snicker. "Please, do tell." He waves for me to continue and takes a seat at his kitchen table, gesturing for us to do the same. I'm grateful for the chance to sit down because my legs are trembling just being this close to him. Hell'n I can hear DD's knees knocking together, as well.

"Mr….er…Edward, I know that, on MEoW, we sometimes get carried away with our comments." I can't help feeling a little embarrassed remembering some of the things the girls had said. I look over at DD for moral support and the deep blush on her cheeks tells me she feels the same way. "But if you spend any real time on that blog, then you have to know it's so much more than that. You have touched so many lives in so many ways… you'll never truly understand what you mean to us."

"It's true, Edward. You've touched…you've changed so many lives, all for the good!" DD piped up.

"You have no idea how many people around the world have become good friends, at least online, because of you! A very lucky few even manage to meet up in real life, mostly at premiers of your films. Oh, my God! The stories they tell…camping on the street for days to get a good place in line…standing in the cold, pouring rain for hours on end…sharing food and holding each other's places in the line…all for just a chance to see you up close, hoping for an autograph or a photo with you," I explain.

Edward opens his mouth to say something, but snaps it shut, glancing at Emmett with raised brows. I take a deep breath and continue before he can interrupt me.

"When you finally pass by, you are always kind and patient with them. You always take time to say hello and sign your name, and you always pause to take photos with as many of them as you can. Edward, never think we don´t notice how, despite all the screaming and craziness, you seem to enjoy being with us as much as we love being with you, if only for a few seconds! "

"And it doesn't end for them there. Oh no! Afterwards, they go out for dinner, or have lunch together, exchanging addresses and stories. Then they get together online and share their experiences and photos with the rest of us. "

"When real life inevitably interferes, they lean on one another, sharing their troubles and worries and dreams. They…we…really get to know one other. So many friendships…true, caring, and loving friendships…have come to be because of you and, although we do perv over you, we share everything we learn and do and, well, just everything. All of this is because, at some point, you came into our lives." I continue.

DD catches my eye, silently asking for a chance to add her two cents. I nod slightly at her to go ahead.

"Edward, I e-mail a woman all the time who didn't know a thing about computers. She was unemployed and had no clue of what she wanted to do, or where she was going to get a job. Then, one day, she was looking for something online and stumbled onto MEoW, entirely by accident. She started to back off, but a stunning photo of you caught her eye. She was so taken with you that she started putting together a portfolio of your photo shoots. One thing led to another and she found gifs, tumbler and YouTube videos. Today, she works for a major production company in the CGI department, all because of you!" DD said, trying to explain what we all wanted to tell him.

"Wow, I didn't realize... I never really thought of it that way. Thank you for telling me," Edward said with a wondering look on his handsome face. He blushes and twists his fingers before looking up at us again.

Typical Edward…he's so sweet and humble.

"We're not just your fans anymore, Edward…we're sisters. Well, the Sistahood of the Edsessed," I chuckle.

"Whatever skills we have, we share with each other. For instance, I chat with EdwardsDream-gurl all the time…maybe you've seen her post on MEoW, too…and she told me she was thinking of writing a fan fiction story. So, I volunteered my mad editing skills and now we're online nearly every day. It's a lot of fun discussing plots, characters and theories, and just getting to know each other. She's such a wonderful person and I hope to meet her in real life someday."

Edward appears somewhat dazed all of a sudden. His gorgeous green eyes have widened and the tips of his ears are turning red. Huh! Am I hallucinating, or has the front of his faded 501's just developed a slight bulge? Is it something I'd said? I quickly run through our conversation in my head but fail to pinpoint anything provocative. Could he possibly be attracted to me? Nah! As much as I'd like to believe that, it's probably just my pervy imagination running wild again.

Whatever it is, he recovers quickly, dazzling us again with a lopsided grin. Christ on a crutch! Why can't I have this man? My panties are soaked now and it has nothing to do with the puddle I had been sitting in earlier. It's all I can do not to groan out loud.

"Well, thank you for enlightening me, Char. I'm very flattered. And, may I just say, any friends of JET's are good people in my book. Now, if you two ladies would like to come and stand on either side of me, I think we can persuade Em to take a picture or two before we take you back to your car."

He doesn't have to ask us twice! Flipping our cell phones out at the same time, we hand them to Emmett and lean into Edward on either side while he snaps a couple of pictures of us with The Pretty. He dazzles us so thoroughly, we don't even notice how disheveled we look until we check the screens to see how they came out. Yeech! Oh well, it's all about HIM anyway!

DD and I wave furiously as Edward and Emmett drive back towards the compound, leaving us standing beside the Mercedes. I'm about to congratulate myself for talking us out of a world of trouble when all the blood drains from my face. My legs give out and I begin to wobble.

"TT! What's wrong?" DD gasps, grabbing my arm and slapping me lightly on the cheek.

The blood rushes back where it belongs but nothing can prevent me from collapsing to the ground.

"Oh, DD!" I groan, vainly groping through the pockets of my down jacket again and again. "I can't find them! I must have dropped them when we climbed over the fence."

"WHAT?" she screeches. "You actually brought them with you? Oh my God, what were you thinking?"

Her grip on my arm is becoming painful.

"What was I thinking? What the hell were you were thinking, you fuckin' hussy! You might as well have dropped your drawers at his feet! And how dare you put all the blame on me for this whole fiasco…in front of Edward, for God´s sake!" I scream, slapping her hand away as hard as I can.

"Don't you go using your fancy foreign words on me, you fat cow!" DD screams, letting go of my arm.

"Ooow! Let go, you bag of bones!" I hiss as she reaches down and snatches a handful of my hair.

I grab her around the knees with both arms and yank her down into the dirt. She scratches my face while scrambling to get away. I roll on top of her to a sitting position, draw my fist back and punch her in the eye! All bets are off, at this point.

Neither of us notices the sound of an approaching car, nor the flashing blue and red lights washing over us.

Emmett was having a hard time keeping the car on the road from laughing so hard. The sight of those two wildcats rolling in the dirt, fists flying, was going to be hard to forget.

"You're not really going to let this go, are you?" Edward asked, raising an eyebrow at Em while losing the battle to stifle his own laughter.

"Naw, man," Emmett replied, wiping tears from his cheeks. "Gotta discourage this kinda shit. The law oughta be showing up any second now."

"I guess you're right, but I hate that you had to do it. They seemed nice enough. A little crazy, maybe, but nice," Edward sighed, shaking his head.

"Don't worry about it, dude. They'll be released first thing in the morning. They're only being charged with misdemeanor trespassing," Emmett grinned.

"How do you…wait, was that what that phone call was about?"

"Yeah, I spotted their car before I found them climbing over the fence. I for damn sure needed a little background before I let them get anywhere near you, so I phoned the license plate number to Constable Fraser's office. Benton was able to find out who owned it real quick…turns out the chubby one's husband had no idea what his wife was up to tonight. He'd been frantically trying to reach the blonde one's boyfriend to see if he knew where they were. The guys will be posting their bail, but agreed with Benton that a night in jail might teach them a lesson."

"Let's hope so," Edward whispered as he leaned his head against the passenger window to peer out into the darkness.

Emmett rubbed his right hand over his damp cheeks again before reaching deep into his coat pocket.

"Hey, Edward?" he snickered. "Lost any of your *ahem* 'toys,' lately?"

"What are you talking about…huh?" Edward asked, dropping his jaw at the sight of a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs twirling around Emmett's right index finger. His mind boggled trying to imagine just what kind of kinky fuckery those crazy girls could possibly have been planning during their nocturnal visit to his trailer.

Since it was a moot point anyway, he decided to hone his comeback skills on Emmett.

"I was wondering what you found by the fence tonight, Em. Are you sure you weren't the one who dropped them out there?" Edward laughed.

"Naw, man!" Emmett grinned. "Rose wouldn't be caught dead with that fuzzy pink shit. She's more into metal and black leather."

"Shut the fuck up, Emmett! That's my sister you're talking about, OK?" Edward shouted, clamping both hands over his ears. "Aaaargh! Too much information!"

As soon as Emmett parked the car, Edward jumped out and ran to his trailer. Once inside, he slammed the door behind him and quickly twisted the lock with an audible *click.*

"Bugger, bugger, bugger!" he muttered, raking all ten fingers roughly through his wild, bronze mane. Stalking over to his couch, he flopped down onto his back and threw one arm across his eyes.

"What I'd give to make you mine…," Edward began singing softly to himself.

Abruptly swinging his legs off the couch to sit upright, he flipped his laptop open and logged onto EdAttack.

"God, I hope EDGE is awake and online," he sighed.

It's nearly noon by the time DD and I stumble out the front door of the police station, shading our eyes from the sun with our hands. Our hair looks like rat infested haystacks. Everything we have on is dirty and torn, especially at the knees. DD is squinting through one black eye, while I'm sporting a split lip and swollen nose. Damn, that girl packs a wallop!

All charges were eventually dropped…thank God! Or, just maybe…thank Edward? At this point, I'm all kinds of grateful we got off so easily. Now, how in the hell are we gonna get to the impound yard to pick up DD's Mercedes and make it back to Seattle before the guys get home?


Huh? I look back to see what's wrong with DD. Ooow! She's got my right hand in a death grip. I grit my teeth and reach down to loosen her fingers, but she jerks me around to face the street.

Dear God and all the Angels! Harry and Steve are leaning against the cars parked against the curb in front of the station. Both men have their arms crossed over their chests, looking none too pleased.

How the fuck did they know where to find us?

Ah ha! Brilliant deduction tells me Constable Fraser phoned Steve to check whether the car was stolen, since his name is on the registration. He must have ridden up here with Harry since he's now standing beside DD's car. Shit! Bailing that Mercedes out of an impound yard would not have been on Steve's top 10 list of fun things to do in Canada.

Dressed in nearly identical work boots, dark jeans, and long sleeved white waffle T's under flannel plaid shirts, it looks like they had to leave that emergency job earlier than planned. Not good… not good at all!

Unfolding his 6 foot 4 inch frame, Harry pushes himself upright and stalks towards me. I cringe away from him as he grabs me by my left arm to hustle me into his car, but there is no getting out of his tight grip. I glance over my shoulder to see DD receiving the same treatment from Steve.

Oh crap! They're really mad at us, I can tell. We'll be lucky if they don't "ground" us like, forever.

I jump as the driver's side door slams shut. Huffing loudly through his nose, Harry starts the car and pulls out into the street. I look behind us, but DD and Steve are long gone.

"OK, Lucy…you got some 'splainin' to do!" he growls.


Hope you enjoyed this harebrained little romp. Now that it's purged from my bwainz, I can get back to editing updates of Waiting in the Twilight and The Songs of Angels, by our very own DeltaDawn'sDreams.

I'd like to thank DeltaDawn'sDreams (a.k.a. RobsFan-tasy)(a.k.a. Kimmey darlin') for her inspiration, encouragement, assistance when I got stuck, and for her endless patience…up to the point where it was time to kick my ass!

Special thanks to Cared1 her honest and comprehensive pre-reading of AFM. If she hadn't liked it, I wouldn't have had the cojones to let you see it.

And to ALL of you…MWAH!